ÅThis one is just a short thing that I wrote in my notebook…Å
People
need to stop saying shit about me behind my back, OR to my face. Poking my
shoulder, calling me insane. I’m just lost in the world, no one understands.
ÅAnother thing from my notebookÅ
I
hear talk about me, the words behind my back, no one ever listens to me, I feel
so alone. I hear the things about me; they hurt on the inside. I act normal,
like I can’t hear them and get on with my life. But they ache in my soul. When
will this torture end?
ÅMore from my notebookÅ
When
I write in the dark, I think deeper and free, free to be myself, no one has
ever seen. I sit and wonder how many days will come and pass and if true love
ever lasts. I sit and think about myself and if this life is a living hell. I
see no pictures on my wall, feel lost inside myself, and seem more open. I put
my head in my hands and wonder if I can live my life, be myself and feel loved
and be the person that is, me. Now you must wonder why that someday you will
die. My life isn’t about me, it’s about future, music and life in itself, you
see. Everything wants to explode, as I think and dream about life and all I
see. Who could ever care about me?
ÅMore boring stuff from the notebookÅ
Open
up my mind, let my thoughts speak of my feelings and how empty I feel, how
empty life is, emptiness in my soul. Fill my mind with something, anything. I
hate this empty feeling. It aches in my brain. The thoughts are so empty with
no meaning. Please help me with this empty feeling. Save me from myself, I need
to have some meaning in my soul. And fill this empty feeling.
ÅUnfinished songÅ
I
want to go
Go
away,
Go
somewhere,
Anywhere
but here
Anything
Anything
but this
I
want to escape and flee this world
And
find myself within me
ÅNotebook ramblingÅ
Why
do people criticize me over every little thing I do? Why can’t they just leave
me alone, let me be myself. Criticism about my life. Actions that can be
ignored.
ÅLetter to momÅ
Dear
mom,
I’m
not the kid you wanted? Well you know what? Fuck you then. You’re not
the parent I wanted either. I hate you, you slapped me and it hurt. Now I wont
forgive you, I hate you. Just go away, I never want to see you again. I need to
see a shrink, you say. When you’re the one that fucking slapped me. The hand
mark, it hurts. HAPPY? You got what you wanted, I’m crying. And I hate you for
it. You got what was coming to you, you had someone that loved you, now they
hate you.
ÅA short depressing thingÅ
I’m
depressed
I
kill a man
I
have no soul
Why
stay alive?
I
kill myself
All
is gone
ÅSong, not yet namedÅ
That
was such a traumatic
Experience
I
remember it well
And
now we’re scattered
All
over the world
No
one knows who we are
I
don’t even know who we are
No
one knows where we are
No
one seems to care
Nothing
exists but the non-existent
No
one cares but the non-caring
No
one loves but the un-loved
ÅAnother unfinished songÅ
Leave
me alone
Just
go away
I
can’t stand myself anymore
Short
tempered, stubborn and immature
I’m
a loser and a loner
A
creep and a weirdo
Someone
save me
From
myself
Someone
help me escape
From
myself
ÅPage 2Å