Keith Murmur...Failed Animal Assassin


Not much happening today. Cousin has been very cruel and won't let me into the parlour. Monica next door banged on the wall at about ten this morning. She knows I don't rise until Des & Mel. I went round and she was in a state of near anxiety. The large bingo win has done nothing to quell her agrophobia. Just think...all that money and no peace of mind. I feel so sad for her. She has the whole wide world at her slippers yet she can't muster up the spunk to step outside.

Cousin told me I owed him some more money. He's a bully. He wanted cigarettes and cider from the petrol station and I had to borrow money from Monica. I now owe her a pretty penny or two. I am hoping that me and Holly can steal something she likes soon.

Tonight I will probably just stay in and play with myself. I have half a bottle of Calms, about fifteen. I may take them all to see what happens...Holly is coming around tomorrow so life is still worth living after all. I wish Cousin would choke to death on vomit...preferably someone else's, like...I don't know...Dot Cotton's.