i'm not angry at you like i have the right to be. i'm not mad or crying over this, i am not set on getting revenge. i read your deadjournal. now you know how it feels to have best friends do that to you. i am sorry that had to happen to you.
i wish you all the best in life. i really honestly do. i have no hard feelings against you. maybe you don't believe this, maybe you feel this is all just a crock of crap but oh well.
if you think wade isn't real then let it go. it's your choice as to what you believe i'm not going to argue with you. you've never seen him in the flesh, so i can understand you'd have a reason to doubt. i would doubt me too if i were you. when he comes back from ohio though, we will be at your doorstep just so you can meet him.
as for you, it seems this whole anger trip you're on right now started when you brought your scrap book to her house and i wrote that letter in it. i don't remember what i wrote but i remember that i didn't think it would be that hurtful. at the same point, if you didn't want us to react to what you had written in there, you shouldn't have brought it. you had written some pretty hurtful things in there yourself and i don't think you can honestly expect not for us to counteract that.
as for me, i'm happy now. he and i are on good grounds now and we are finally getting back to normal. between the three of you, things in he and i's relationship really did change. i once held you three responsible for it, now i only blame myself and him. i am sorry for blaming you and holding it against you. i am over that now.
yes, i do hang out with her again, and i know that you probably hate to see that. it doesn't matter. i always said that i would do anything for her and i meant that. besides him, she has been the most important friend in my life. she and i are not as good as friends as before, and that's just fine. we are on stable ground and that's what matters.
she and i are also good friends. she takes care of me and i am thankful for that. i don't smoke anymore, i don't do any sort of drug, and it's thanks to her. she got my life on track by being a positive influence and i think that that's what i have been needing for the longest time.
i am sorry that you and i are not friends anymore. i truly thought that you and i would be friends forever, but things change i suppose. i hope you are happy with where you are in life. i hope you find love, happiness, truth. i hope you don't have to deal with a lot of hardship anymore, but at the same point, i think you should stop making things so hard for yourself.
to her, i am sorry that i treated her like crap. i never wanted to admit how rude and unconsiderate of her i was before, but in retrospect i see it bright and clear. i regret it. i really do. no one deserves to be treated like i treated her and it was wrong of me to do it. i hope her and him are happy, and i hope you do to, no matter how much it may bother you.
to you, i am sorry that you got mixed up in all of this. when i look at the situation, i see you somewhere in the middle. not sure if all of this is wrong or right, not sure if you hate me or are still cool with me. things change, you've changed incredibly. you have a mind of you're own but i'm not sure if you're using it right now. if you're questioning that to then i strongly suggest that you use it cause you've got some really great ideas that need to be presented to the world. i wish you success and happiness.
to you, i don't think you understand how much respect you gained back the day you called me. after you called him, he called me and we were talking about and he said he thought you weren't being genuine. he said he believed you were just trying to save yourself incase you lost them. i told him just the opposite. please don't prove me wrong. i respect you for trying to get back on the right track. it's a long hard race to finish, but you're already more than half way there.
to all of you, i do not hold a grudge. i've changed alot since maybe you've last hung out with me and really talked to me. i'm alot more at peace with things now, alot happier, calmer, more relaxed. i used to be so angry with everything, him, the world, you. now i just let things go. deal with problems as they come and then i let it go. in the end it is all history.
i wish you happiness, luck, good fortune. i wish you love, kindness, a good job, and good family. i wish you peace, outside and in, i wish for you everything i want for myself. i am thankful for the friendships we shared, for what we had. Someday I will look back upon times we spent together and smile because for those days I had some of the best friends that fit me for that time in my life. No, I don't really think I will ever be friends with you all again. Partially from you, but mostly from me.
I thank you for reading this, and I hope you've gotten something out of it.
hunt05
