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POPCORN IS EVIL
What is the nature of popcorn, and what purpose does it serve?
These are the questions that have plagued mankind for centuries. Indeed, the popcorn kernel is a mighty and complex item of wonder and amazement. Sometimes used as a weapon of mass destruction, popcorn has acheived an inflated price in some black market economies. In America there is an abundance of popcorn, it having been under-utilized for its destructive capabilities. I believe that in the interests of science and world peace, there should be greater research into the matter.
Misleadingly "harmless" in appearance and thanks to cleverly deceptive marketing techniques, Popcorn has made its way into nearly every American home. It's sensual butters and tantalizing salts have made it virtually irresistable to the eager, snack consuming populace. Popcorn has weaved its way into your hearts and minds as a friendly, cuddly, loveable snack food item, good for outings to the movies or staying at home. Safe, dependable, popcorn. When in reality it desires nothing more than complete and utter destruction of mankind, to cripple us from below, fostered and invented by old world terrorists to seduce the American public into a state of mass delusion in order to soften us up for some later purpose... We will be caught unawares, is there nothing we can do? Yes, you must educate yourself to this danger and spread the word.
This tiny and quiet seed lies dormant for prolonged periods of time.  During these states of dormancy we can only presume how thoroughly they are able to think out their wildly complicated schemes. What seems to most as merely a prolonged shelf life is in all truth a well thought out planning stage. These kernels, harmless in appearance during these innocent phases, are in all truth, becoming stronger with each moment as they are left to their own devices. Some of their strength comes from advanced mind control techniques which are beyond our ability to overcome. These same powers enable them to communicate with eachother without the need for words or body language. Some of the danger with this is that we have no way of discovering just how vast their network is or just what their plans may be.
What you can do to help.
Few are truly aware of just how dangerous popcorn is. This page was brought to you in an effort to get the word out.
In order to save the human race from the dangers of popcorn there are two things that you can do to help.
1. Since popcorn kernels require close proximity in order to communicate, seperate them. Do not allow them to be close enough to relay their psychic messages. This will hinder, if not prevent, their evil plans. If we all do our parts and isolate the kernels from eachother, we may be able to stop this threat where it stands.
2. Eat as much popcorn as possible, and quickly. This will prevent any further plans from taking place.
Know that your efforts will not be in vain. As long as there are those who remain loyal to the anti-popcorn terrorization of America (and the world), there is hope. With god's grace and the dedication of our members, we can limit terrorism to its traditional instigators: fellow humans. Thank you.
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The Semi-Complete FC
 This being the facsimile of an epic history of the spawning of an internet group, a bunch of scoundrels and ne'erdowells, naughty boys, popcorn lovers, and morons all coalescing into one stupendous brew somewhat lacking in the texture you might expect of eggnog. And, keep your pants on you freaking losers.
Thursday, the 19th of February, 2004, some stupid girl posted a crybaby thread on Adult Swim's Action Discussion board. Of course, many people reacted. For some reason this thread was allowed to survive for pages upon pages of drivel. Far be it for me to declare that it was a mod in disguise begging for much needed attention. There was crying and moaning and weeping and also yelling and s.t.f.u. Now that I look back on it, it sounded just like a mod, they're so pathetic.
Personally, I chose to be sympathetic, as well as many others. There was this soul-less mass who kept claiming that emotions were stupid and that he had none. Argument ensued. Bla bla bla, pages later, bla bla bla, people reminding me of whiny dogs, like a dog might be if it were posting on the internet. Anyway, the thread died the way that threads should be let to die, slowly and in time. Although, I'm surprised it wasn't deleted now that I know what nazi's those fascist mods are over there. They're like those guys who buy Hummers, . . . you know what I mean. Just think about it for a minute . . .
So, I was a newb at the time, and in a newbs attempt at thread creation, I started my own thread. Like all newb threads, mine too was totally gay. When I say gay I mean South Park gay, and also a little queer. Hey who knew? Well, it was a poem, and that's a little gay. Like all newb threads, it should have been deleted ASAP, and I expected it to be. But, like all newbs, I hoped, really hoped, that my totally gay thread start would survive just a little bit. It was lunatic garbage, and what I can remember is as follows:
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It's All Good, All the Time!
(something, something, line one)
(something, something, line two)
(something that rhymes with line one)
(something that rhymes with line two)
I'm sorry to poess you
and be arguing in rhyme,
but I've really got to tell you,
that It's All Good, ALL THE TIME!
Cowboy Bebop rocks my world
and Big O is sustaining,
Spike and Roger, Faye and Dot,
I see no need for flaming!
Inuyasha is so cute
with his little doggie ears.
But my heart belongs to Sesshy,
AND THE SHOW IS GOOD! Don't interfere!
(with my love, that is)
I have nothing against Family Guy,
and shows like Futurama.
But nothing makes me happy
like the action and the drama!
To sit up late and agitate
awaiting Robin's intro,
or the awesome Bebop soundtrack
or the melodies of Instro!
I also have to thank
the sexy voices of the dubbers,
Thank you to David Lucas
(Steve Blum), and all the others!
Thank you Adult Swim,
for this lovely anime!
What would I do without it?
What more can I say?
(insert additional stanzas that I have forgotten)
Originally posted on February 19th, 2004
by galactic_lady, a newb, wasn't I cute back then? But I've lost my fan since . . .*sigh*
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There was more than that but, ah, well. Like all stuff that once was and is no more, I kindof forgot some of it. Hey, I didn't do it on purpose.
Who knows why, but this shameless plug of Adult Swim, this wild abandonment to love and adoration flamed into a wildly active thread. It was out of control, and for me to say that is, I think, something. And for some reason, some strange and a little bit freaky reason, . . . the fascist mods did nothing. It was exciting. The thread prospered and grew like a child on steroids. It became fat and plump, just right for cooking. There was fighting, lots of fighting. There was pointless flirtation between all members, fake pasts and affairs, and then more fighting. There were tears and laughter and it was all good, 22 pages of good. That, my friends, is a lot of post. And my oh my was it totally pointless.
Not at all was it like other totally pointy threads that may have seemed to be entirely without point. We were point free. We had no intelligent conversation. All we had was eachother, to fight with. And that was something we were willing to fight for. Hey, don't come between a moron and his comrades. That's right. This would seem obvious to anyone of even a slightly underdeveloped intelligence. But the mods at AS do not possess this. Therefore, they came between us.
Oh, I'm sure they tried and tried to put a stop to it a lot sooner than a stop actually came. But they could not. I will lie now and tell you that they had developed a sort of gay infatuation with the thread and could not part with it. That is my first lie about them. All that other stuff is true. That they are capable of developing gay infatuations with threads I do not doubt. But this thread, alas, was not one of them. The GELLHA threads won that totally gay honor. GELLHA stands for Gay Existential Lolly Licking Hairy A$$es. Those people really aught to be wearing pants and keeping them on at all times, but NOOOOOOOOO.
Now that I'm better acquainted with the boards I can see that it should have been deleted that first day. Somehow... it was not. The thread lived on, days went by. We returned to it day after day. Well, only a couple of days passed. We all feared that doom would soon befall us, but we could not stop. Ein, Big O, and Vash were all discussed much. It was going to be soon, and we all knew it. One moment it would be there, the next it would be gone. Impending thread deletion loomed over us, we began to expect and await it, and we began to plan for that time.
On Saturday, February 21, 2004 the conversation waxed sentimental and the remaining babblers decided (between mouthfuls of popcorn) that they belonged together. No matter if the mods tried to kill them. No matter if the mods killed the beloved thread which had brought them together. What had been accomplished was a remarkable and astounding feat. We knew we belonged together no matter the cost. So we solidified ourselves into a group. And that group would survive if the thread fell. The name of the group was the FC. What is FC? Rule number one is that we do not talk about FC.
I, (galactic_lady) dubbed the Queen, returned to the helm and the thread disappeared. Lamenting insued. "NOOOOO!!!" was posted and we mourned. "NOOOOO!!!" was locked. More things were posted and deleted and locked. An office was posted and deleted, a new one was posted and locked. Soon after, anger. Anger brought hate, yes, it was the path to the dark side, but we no longer cared. Threads were posted, posters were banned, IP's were blocked, alt's were created in blind mayhem and rage. It was war, and it sure was fun. And, there were recruits, a small but loyal following. The few, the proud. It was indeed true, from destruction came the seeds of growth. muwahahaha.
An illustrious and glorified battle between anonymous alts and AS mods ensued for sometime, with righteous cries to the powers that be, defending of honor, etc. and subsequent banning and locking and deleting. Well, I'm glad we gave them some work for a while, those fat hairy mods need some work every now and then, just to keep their figures. They really should thank us. We were so intent on helping them lose some weight that some of us who shall remain nameless were actually going out of their way just to piss them off. I watched with a tear in my eye as the alts of my comrades fell victim. Those mods are so lucky to have such helpful members over there. Who knows how fat they'd be if it weren't for people like us?
Envious mods, really. They wished they had a group or thread so queer as ours. They had tried so hard, but no, they had failed where we had succeeded and they could only harbor resentment against us.
The one now known as Vicious was knighted in my service for sacrifices in the line of fire. He became the leader of our army. It was done. We gave slowly in, and many Scarlet Tears were shed in the name of FC.
I was then away from the board for only a mere day, but apparently some really CRAZY stuff got on, while I was off the board. I was setting up this original FC site. Not the one you see before you now, but the first, a simpler and more gentile kind. Meanwhile, the army reformed into a strong and powerful sub-unit over on the board. (As they were unwilling to turn off the computer and just 'call it a night'.) These select individuals had named themselves the RDM. They were able to fortify themselves using AIM accounts, a clever weapon. I am not fully aware of all the battles and deleted accounts they went through on their own.
More to come, incomplete data . . . meow.
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Members
days to Death Strike One
"The scars you experience on your journey will be the unforgettable memories of your life." -Millie Thompson
