Miss Fat Ass 2004
Amber Johnson is a cock-riding walrus! She sits over by the candy machine during lunch and as a result of that, students who attend Frenchtown High School lack the provisions that the candy machine provides. Protest NOW!!I've hated you exponentially over time, and now it is probably at the zenith of my loathing for you. Every time you try to say something meaningful or important, you fuck it up and make yourself out to be an even bigger fucking fool than you were to begin with in the first fucking place. I'm tired of seeing you come to school randomly and outburst with shit no one asks for, wants to hear, or would ever care about asking/hearing. Get your tubby pale ass a bottle of suntan lotion and a mother-fucking treadmill, you worthless skank. - fan mail
This is Amber Johnson after her goddamn Atkins Diet. The flubber ass!
Fat Amber Jokes
- Amber Johnson is so fat she needs a VCR for a pager.
- Amber Johnson is so fat that her belly button makes an echo.
- Amber Johnson is so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
- Amber Johnson is so fat when she walks past windows, we lose four days of sunlight.
- Amber Johnson is so fat she had to get baptized at Sea World.
- Amber Johnson is so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get back up again.
- Amber Johnson is so fat and stupid, when it was raining she used the freeway for a slip and slide.
- Amber Johnson is so fat that when the whales saw her they started singing
- Amber Johnson is so fat that when she was attacked by the Japanese military, they thought she was Godzilla's wife.
- Amber Johnson is so fat when she went on school field trips, the school had to raise funds to feed her.
- Amber Johnson is so fat she makes Free Willy look like a goldfish.
- Amber Johnson is so fat, she uses a pillow for a tampon.