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Tuesday, 22 March 2005
The Forest, the Cup, the Water, the Bear, the Beach. The Omax Analyst tells all.
The Forest & the Path The Forest is your 'life' & how you see it. The more light your see in the forest the more content you are likely to be with your life.You selected a forest at dusk or dawn. Your selection would suggest there are one or two things in your life that you'd like to change. We asked you if you saw a path in the forest. You said you did.Yyou're not yet settled into your life as it is. Younger people usually see a path. Why is this? The path is symbolic of where you're going.
The Cup = WealthThe cup is symbolic of 'Wealth" and your approach to it. We asked you to picture a cup in the forest. You said you saw a cup that appeared not to be valuable. The question gave you the chance to see any sort of cup. A tea cup, a sporting trophy, a tin cup, even a steaming cup of coffee! This question gave you the opportunity to reward yourself. You didn't give yourself a reward when the opportunity arose. You were given the chance to take a reward, you were curious enough to pick the cup up, but left it behind you. Either wealth has no real value to you or 'Wealth' is something you think you've got to work for.
The Water = Sex Water is symbolic of SEX for everyone, even more so for women. The depth and speed of the water you see is indicative of your attitude, appetite & approach to SEX. The speed at which you see water moving is an indicator of you appetite for sex. But, not necessarily your need. The slower the water, the lower your appetite. The faster the water, the greater your appetite. You saw very shallow water . The depth of the water is an indicator of how you see & what you want from sex. You can get true fulfilment from deeper & more intense lovemaking. The ease with which you cross the water is an indicator of you attitude & approach to sex. The more easily you crossed the water, the more comfortable or liberal you're likely to be in your approach to sex.
The Bear = Stress & Problems: How you deal with themThe bear is symbolic of problems & how you deal with them. You saw a real bear, no Teddy-Bear or Winnie-the-Pooh for you. You were given the chance to see a problem. People under routine-stress will see large & very dangerous bears. Equally a bear you're ignoring or was ignoring you, is indicative of how you see stress & problems when they're presented to you. You need a holiday! In your case the bear has seen you & looks potentially dangerous. You're under high levels of stress or worry. This could be unhealthy. How you get round the bear is indicative of how you deal with problems & how you resolve them. You tried to get away from the bear before he saw you.
The Beach = How you relate to peopleThe beach is symbolic of how you relate to people around you. You're quite a social animal. Usually comfortable in crowded pubs, clubs or bars. You may even seek them out. Where're you going this Saturday night?How many people you pictured on the beach relates directly to the number of people you want around you. A truly socially gregarious person is most comfortable in the company of a large number of people, and seeks the audience (this personality type sees a beach packed with people). At the opposite end of the scale, those people that see a deserted beach are happy with their own company. They're very happy to spend long periods on their own where others would feel lonely. Where you see people on the beach is symbolic of how you relate to people around you. You saw people that weren't close enough to talk to. This suggests you don't need contact with other people all of the time, but like to know that someone is there for you.
Pwersonality Test from True U
Personal Characteristics
Attitudes and World View
When it comes to certain aspects of world issues you tend to have a conservative way of looking at things and fairly traditional attitudes. There are some issues, however, toward which you tend to have a more progressive attitude and a more modern approach. Every coin has two sides, and you are able to appreciate every different points of view.
Ambition
You seem to be a very laid back person with very modest ambitions. Rather than being driven by achievement, you set your sights on goals that are easy for you to achieve. Be sure not to sell yourself short! Setting long-term goals in terms of what you want to accomplish is an important factor in reaching your full potential. Future partners might be put off if they perceive that you are not making an effort in life - despite all of your good traits.
Intellectualism
You're somewhat driven with a need for knowledge and learning, although you are also interested in more down-to-earth pursuits. Your interests and hobbies likely vary, with some being mentally stimulating, and others less so.
Assertiveness
Your results showed that you are very assertive; you believe that your opinion has merit, and that you deserve to be heard. You seem to be aware that you need to take into account what others feel as well. Make sure that to maintain this awareness.
Conscientiousness
You are fairly conscientious. While your life is reasonably structured, you don't beat yourself up over failures and errors. Still there is no doubt some stress and frustration in your life, especially when you let the chaos in your life get the best of you. People get disappointed when their expectations are not met, so be honest with them ? and with yourself ? about what you can deliver and by when. This will keep your honor intact. Getting to know yourself, and your limits, will make a big difference, not only in your own life, but also in your relationships.
It appears that you are a free spirit who cannot be bothered by down-to-earth issues. There are always other things to do, and good reasons for not doing things you meant to do. If you are interested in finding lasting love, you may want to make some real efforts when it comes to keeping your word. It can be irritating for others when you are unreliable. People tend to feel let down and disappointed in these situations.
You seem to be someone who is quite orderly without being nit-picky. When people walk into your home, they feel comfortable. They are not threatened by messes that may be lying around and they are also not afraid to mess things up. This makes for an inviting place. You probably won't encounter any relationship problems related to your level of orderliness, as long as you are willing to be somewhat flexible if you are paired with someone at either extreme in this area.
You are comfortable diving into projects without planning too much in advance, and disorganization doesn't seem to trouble you very much. Remember that when you are interacting with other people they may really appreciate a little extra effort on your part when it comes to putting some order and planning into things that have the potential to be disorderly.
You would much rather stick to a routine than live your life in a more unstructured manner. This helps you to keep your life organized and predictable. Nevertheless, it has a downside - too much routine suppresses creativity. Try to stimulate yourself occasionally by trying something new.
You appear to have acceptable self-discipline. Sometimes you are able to resist temptation, but at other times your willpower gives out and you give in. This is a pretty healthy tendency, as long as you are able to stay focused on what's important and really counts. Make sure that your occasional tendency to avoid responsibility doesn't interfere with your overall goals.
Integrity
At times, you lack integrity. People may not feel as though they can fully trust or rely on you. Once you start trusting yourself and your own judgment more consistently, others will gain faith in you. Follow your instincts more often ? our gut reactions shouldn't be ignored. While deep down you know right from wrong, sometimes you are unable to do what you know is right. Consider the benefits to you ?and to your relationships ? if you stay strong and do the right thing more often.
It appears that you tell the truth quite often, but at other times you are less honest. Perhaps you tend to cover up the truth when you are afraid of hurting others, or perhaps you tend to be less than honest when you are afraid of getting in trouble. Regardless, you could work on being more consistently truthful.
Based on your past behavior, it appears to be difficult for others to rely on you. This will almost invariably lead to problems in your relationships. Your apparent lack of a sense of commitment lets others know that you are not always dependable ? and that your integrity may even be questionable.
You seem to be a very faithful romantic partner. You are hardly ever even tempted to cheat. This is an admirable quality, and is an indication of your overall integrity.
AdventurousnessYou tend to play it safe, but occasionally open your mind to new adventures. You feel that sometimes, life moves a bit too quickly for you. Consider being more open to adventure ? to exploring your world. You could be pleasantly surprised by the freedom you'll feel when embarking on a new journey ? whether it's to a new mall or to a new country. The willingness to expand your mind to fresh opportunities could completely alter your outlook. You'll also be sure to meet a lot of new people along the way ? including potential mates! As someone who is already open to adventure, yet doesn't crave excitement all the time, the number of possible mates is unlimited.
Your inflexibility may sometimes hold you back from being amenable to new adventures. Unlocking the potential for adventure in your life may be as simple as letting go of your stubbornness and inflexibility.
Although you don't strive for a life filled with new experiences, you are not against it either. Apparently you see the value in routine and familiarity, while still being able to appreciate fresh and unfamiliar situations or circumstances. This is a very balanced approach.
Since you are often somewhat lethargic, you may sometimes find it difficult to keep up with others in the fast-paced world we live in. This might keep you from being as productive as you otherwise could be. Consider looking at reasons for your low energy level ? emotional or physical - as this quality might be holding you back in life.
It appears that you are relatively spontaneous. At times you like to stick to the expected, while other times you prefer to be more impulsive. This likely means that you could be happily paired with people who need a lot of spontaneity or with people who need to be encouraged to live a little.
You appear to be inflexible about certain issues, while in others, you're more willing to compromise. You stick to your guns when something is important to you, and you tend to let the rest go.
Rigidity
While you do not always welcome adjustment to a new routine and allowing others to take control, at times the thought appeals to you. Being relatively open to change, you often experience new opportunities and fresh perspectives. Becoming even more at ease with changing your routine will make your relationships easier by eliminating many unnecessary arguments.
Although you have a slight tendency towards perfectionism, you are definitely not obsessive. There may be some life areas where you feel the need to be perfect, but in general "good" tends to be good enough for you. As a result you are not overly picky or critical towards others. This means that when you are being picky about something, your partner will know that it is important to you.
On occasion, you have difficulty accepting or adjusting to changed plans, new ideas, or strange situations; at other times you are better able to cope. Flexibility allows for compromise in relationships, with both parties having their needs met as much as possible. Your ability to resolve conflict may be hindered at times by your unbending mindset.
While you appear to be flexible enough to try new things every once in a while, you also enjoy the comfort of routine and familiarity. Opening your mind further to new experiences will likely enrich your life as a whole.
You appear to generally prefer to live a very structured life with little room for variation. This can prevent you from being flexible should new opportunities arise.
Dominance
You are generally comfortable letting people go about their business as they see fit, however, you tend be less relaxed in certain areas. Your occasional tendency to try to exert power over others can be a problem, especially in the case of a two-way power struggle in which one person becomes afraid to express his or her disagreement. If, however, you find a partner who works well with you, all will be well.
Your results show that you are very assertive. This means that you are skilled at letting others know what you need and want. This is a great attribute that will help you advance in life. Be sure that you don't take your assertiveness to the extreme - factor the needs and wants of others into the equation as well.
Your tendency to dismiss your partner's opinion is something you should definitely work to improve upon, as it is a poor relationship habit to get into. Accepting that you cannot change your partner's every opinion by force is an important relationship skill to learn. Others may perceive you as pushy if you try to, well, push your ideas on them.
You seem to rarely, if ever, try to force your partner to accept your ideals. You understand the importance of lending your partner unconditional reinforcement in reaching his/her goals.
It appears that while you are not controlling, per se, if it is really important to you to do something a certain way or to select a certain option, you are adamant about your position. This is great, because you don't attempt to control others and you also don't you let them walk all over you. "Live and let live" is your motto.
Money Attitudes - Summary
Importance of Money
Money is, for the most part, insignificant in your life. You might not think that money is worth worrying over, but getting a grip on your finances and knowing exactly where you stand in that department can be beneficial to you - and your loved ones - in the long run.
Social Life - Summary
Interaction with Others
You tend to be as happy and comfortable alone as you are with other people. Nevertheless, your moderate level of sociability and social know-how might still be holding you back. If you take action and perk up, people will flock to you ? the kind of people you'll want to be around as much as they want to be around you.
Based on your responses, it appears that your social skills are okay, but not great. The awkwardness of your interactions could get in the way when others are trying to get to know you. Consider taking steps to bring your social skills to a new level, as this will undoubtedly improve your chances at finding love.
You are neither an introvert nor an extrovert, but instead fall somewhere in between. Your orientation is a balance between the inner world of ideas, emotions, and reflections and the outer world of people, activities, and socializing. You draw your energy and motivation from both sources. It could be said that you get the best of both worlds. You like being with others but you also enjoy spending time alone.
While on some days you may feel like you are on top of the world, on other days, doubts about your personal worth and abilities probably begin to creep in. You may be held back socially by these occasional doubts. When you begin to truly believe in yourself and your abilities you will notice that interacting with others will become much easier. And, believe it or not, self-confidence has been shown to be a more important factor in determining someone's attractiveness than physical beauty.
While an optimist sees the doughnut, a pessimist sees the hole. Your responses indicate that you tend to see the hole. You are often pessimistic about situations you find yourself in, perhaps because it makes you feel safer and better prepared for problems to come. But be careful - sporting a negative attitude may make it more difficult to make friends or to connect with a special someone.
You have a good sense of humor. You are even able to see the lighter side of awkward or tough circumstances. This is actually an excellent coping strategy. While this makes you fun and often easy to be around, be sure to keep your joking to a minimum when someone needs you to take them or their situation seriously. You may otherwise make friends or potential mates feel uncomfortable or feel as though they can't open up to you. Then they may not want to be around you - and that's not funny at all.
Although you possess some altruistic traits, you can occasionally be self-centered or selfish. You are more than willing to put others first at times, but sometimes you just lookout for yourself. Being altruistic benefits not just the person you are helping, but it can also help you, so consider making the choice to be altruistic more often if you can.
You prefer not to be the center of attention. There's really no harm in enjoying the attention of others once in a while. You may not know it, but you deserve it!
Social Network
You seem to prefer a balance in your life when it comes to spending time with friends and family versus spending time alone. You don't rely on others a great deal, preferring to be somewhat more self-sufficient. While you miss the important people in your life when they aren't around, the time you spend alone contributes to your happiness as much as the time you spend in the company of others. Each lends richness to your life.
You do not seem to rely upon your friends and family a great deal. While it is great to be self-reliant, having close friends and family who you can turn to when you are stressed or upset can be a great source of comfort. It is also good because you don't need to rely solely on your romantic partner to fulfill all of your needs, and you have more people to support you during difficult times.
You are neither an introvert nor an extrovert - you fall somewhere in between the two extremes. This likely means that although you would be relatively at ease in large groups, you don't mind spending time on your own. Your social network likely reflects this.
Stress Reaction ? Summary
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that help us to deal with our emotions. It includes the ability to recognize our feelings and needs for what they really are (ex. realize that we are "feeling rejected", rather than simply "upset") as well as the ability to regulate them (console ourselves when we are feeling sad, or control our anger). Part of emotional intelligence is the ease with which we cope with emotions in others, and how well we can reconcile our immediate desires without long-term goals and the needs of other people. Your emotional IQ is average. You're able to recognize and deal with your own emotions and those of others in a reasonably effective manner. This is likely evident in your ability to relate to others, express your needs, and maintain a satisfactory level of emotional health. Since your score is in the mid-range, however, you are not taking full advantage of your potential. Improving your emotional IQ will bring numerous benefits, including stronger relationships, a more successful career, and better emotional health. Most of all, you will be an all-around happier person.
Coping Skills
Your poor coping skills leave a hole in your ability to handle stressful life events in an effective manner. This puts you at a disadvantage in life. While you are still reeling after a negative event, other people will have moved on.
Psychological StrengthYou have overall strength of character, but some mishaps are difficult for you to deal with. You are generally able to adapt and to keep things in perspective. This makes you a good partner in that you rarely take things personally when your loved one has strong reactions or difficulty coping. You try to subscribe to the philosophy of "this, too, shall pass," but it does elude you occasionally ? especially if the situation holds particular significance for you. Remember that anything can happen, and that it doesn't have to be a tragedy or triumph. Remember that each person's reality is different from yours ? do not make others feel ashamed or embarrassed for their reactions to events that may not faze you to the same degree.
It seems you need to work on your coping skills in order to be able to handle stress more effectively. You likely take longer than others to bounce back from life's setbacks. This puts you at a disadvantage in life. While you are still upset after a negative event, other people will have moved on. Having good coping skills will have a positive impact on your relationships, because you won't burden others during times of stress.
According to this test, you often have trouble controlling your emotions. Although there is nothing wrong with being emotional, it can sometimes put your partner in a difficult position, especially if s/he has trouble dealing with emotional people.
You could stand to work on loving yourself unconditionally. You have probably noticed that it is so much harder to face the world during those times when you don't feel good about yourself. Working on boosting your confidence in yourself and your abilities will do you so much good - and as a bonus will make you an easier person to be around.
Pessimists often expect the worst possible outcome when looking ahead at a variety of situations. Try to avoid having a negative mindset. It can be exhausting, both for you and for the people around you. Pessimism can cause difficulty in a relationship. Instead of expecting the worst, try going into situations with an open mind. You may be surprised!
You seem to need quite a bit of reassurance that your partner cares about you when you are in a relationship. This likely happens most often when you are having a rough day or when insecurity begins to creep in. Just remember that needing lots of reassurance can be quite a drain on relationships.
You do not appear to be overly dependent while you are in a relationship - although you do certainly realize the benefits of having someone to rely on. You just don't expect romantic partners to be your sole source of support. This is great, because relationships will surely feel more like partnerships than like one of you is reliant on the other.
You are rather uncomfortable expressing your emotions. This may hold you back, especially in a romantic pairing with someone who wants to know how you feel about him/her.
Communication Style - Summary
Comfort with Vulnerability
You steer clear of situations that make you feel vulnerable. You seem to feel uncomfortable being in a position that allows others to take advantage of you or harm you in any way. It likely takes you a long time to get close to people, let your guard down and open up. Perhaps you got hurt in the past, or maybe you never had the chance to feel completely secure with anybody. Maybe you don't feel strong enough to handle, and protect yourself by not allowing anybody to get close to you. It can pay off to be somewhat cautious when dealing with others in this world. However, your attitude may keep you from taking risks, and risks can be rewarding. Don't let it happen just because you are afraid to get hurt.
You often feel uncomfortable when others become emotional around you. This discomfort might keep you from being as supportive as you might like in future relationships, especially if you are paired with an emotional partner.
In general, you seem to be reluctant to rely on others. It is great to strive to be self-sufficient, but social support can be very helpful and healthy for you. While your tendency to want to do things without outside help and on your own terms may be reasonable, opening yourself up to asking for help can improve your chances of finding a partner in life - one who helps you as much as you help him/her.
You seem to be somewhat guarded when it comes to trusting other people. This is perhaps wise when you are just getting to know others. While allowing others to earn some of your trust (rather than blindly trusting them) is a good idea when it comes to dating, be careful that you don't take it too far. Others may become defensive if they perceive that you doubt their intentions.
Emotional Intimacy Need
You need some emotional closeness and intimacy with your romantic partners, but not a lot. Check in with future partners to make sure that they are getting the amount of intimacy that they need. Perhaps you are missing out on one of the greatest aspects of love - the emotional closeness that can develop between people who care about each other.
Open-mindedness
You are fairly open-minded but it can sometimes be challenging for you to deal with the differences in opinion that occur during interaction with other people. You are trying to strike a balance between being there for others - unconditionally and despite disagreements - and ensuring that you are getting what you need out of your relationships. This is commendable, but remember - it is possible to appreciate others' point of view and still maintain boundaries and be true to yourself.
You often have difficulty accepting that your partner may have different opinions than you do. Just letting some things go, and accepting that you cannot change your partner's every opinion, is an important relationship skill to learn. It's perfectly OK to feel strongly about certain things. However, you must accept that not everyone agrees with you in those matters. Try to be more open - you may learn to see things from a different angle. Besides, wouldn't life be boring if we all shared exactly the same views?
You have a high tolerance for goal differences between you and your partner, and are able to support him/her in pursuing these differing goals. You seem to already be aware that lending your partner reinforcement in reaching his/her goals is very important in a relationship. This is a really great characteristic - you seem to be willing to give unconditional love and support. For most couples, this approach strengthens the bond and gives each partner the freedom to be themselves.
You are someone who can't deal with moodiness. You would prefer to be with a person who finds it easy to control his or her emotions. If you do find yourself with a partner whose moods tend to be unstable, try to be supportive while still remaining faithful to your own boundaries and limits.
While you are open to input from others, when you feel strongly about an issue, you tend to be less open-minded. There's nothing wrong with sticking to your guns when you feel strongly about something. Be sure though, that you don't close the door on your partner's ideas.
Ability to Communicate
You have the ability to communicate with other people effectively ? but your skills could use some work. You sometimes experience difficulty getting your point across clearly and tactfully. People probably find it somewhat tricky to interact with you, especially when you are nervous or the stakes are high. Building up your communication skills would benefit you highly ? you will feel more self-confident and you will witness your relationships getting better and better.
Although your communication skills are not bad, they definitely could use some improvement. You could work on getting your message across in a clear, concise, and sensitive manner while still listening and actually "hearing" what others have to say. This is an important skill in relationships. In fact, it has been proven that it leads to success in a relationship. Improving these skills could really increase your chances of developing successful relationships - in your romantic life, with friends, or in the workplace.
From your results, it appears that you are a very tactful person. Very rarely do you put your foot in your mouth, so to speak, when dealing with others. Sensitivity is key to relationships of all kinds, and especially in romantic pairings, therefore you seem to be at an advantage in this area!
Intellectual Exchange
You sometimes like to discuss intellectual issues. At other times, however, you would prefer to limit conversation to lighter topics. This means that you are probably comfortable dealing with a range of different conversation topics. You don't come across as pretentious, but you are capable of carrying on intelligent conversation ?this is great.
Conflict Resolution - Summary
Conflict Resolution Skills
You should work to improve your conflict resolution skills. You will find it even easier to handle any situation that involves differences of opinion with others ? no matter how serious ? if you improve in this area. As a bonus, you'll also notice that conflict situations will happen less frequently as a result.
Your occasional intolerance of other people may mean that you are sometimes unwilling to compromise. You may believe that your opinion is more valid than the opinions of others. Once you realize that you are not the only person who could be right, and become more tolerant of others - even when they are imperfect - your ability to resolve conflict will improve a great deal.
Your results show that you are an assertive person. This means that you are skilled at letting others know what you need and want. This is a great attribute that will help you advance in life. When dealing with conflict, however, make sure to accommodate the wishes of others.
On occasion, you have difficulty accepting or adjusting to changed plans, new ideas, or strange situations; at other times you are better able to cope. Flexibility allows for compromise in relationships, with both parties having their needs met as much as possible. Your ability to resolve conflict may be hindered at times by your unbending mindset.
Conflict Proneness
You appear to be prone to conflict situations on occasion. Try to keep an open mind at all times and look at a potential problem in several different ways before moving forward. It is important to remember that we are all human and that people make mistakes. Ask yourself seriously whether a situation is worth getting upset about before you put your foot down or attempt to control the outcome.
On occasion, you find it difficult to accept other people's flaws and mistakes. Watch that you don't let little annoyances get the best of you! Being critical and disapproving can make your partners feel insecure because they can sense your disapproval even if you don't voice it. It can also interfere with your own happiness as well. If you look for flaws in those around you, you could miss out on many of their good traits. Learning to tolerate others' quirks will increase your pool of potential partners significantly.
You occasionally have difficulty accepting or adjusting to changed plans, new ideas, or strange situations, while other times you are better able to cope. You would be wise to become more reliably accommodating, as inflexibility can make you more vulnerable to conflict with others. You may experience relationship trouble unless your partner is more consistently flexible than you are.
When something is important to you, you try to assert control over that area. When something isn't as vital to you, however, you are more willing to let others take charge. While this may make for some arguments when you encounter resistance on those matters that are close to your heart, at least the conflict happens because you feel strongly about that issue.
You are generally able to control your anger effectively, but if something really gets to you then you get angry. You don't bottle it up. This is perfectly normal, since some anger is acceptable. After all, anger can help encourage you to stand up for yourself. Just be sure that the anger you experience does not lead you to lash out at others verbally or physically. Talk it out instead.
Relationship Issues ? Summary
Readiness to Commit
You appear to be ready to take the plunge and be in a committed relationship. Your life and your emotional state are optimal for meeting the right person.
Dating Philosophy
You seem to be looking for a good time when it comes to finding a mate, while still being open to the possibility of finding lasting love. As long as you make your intentions absolutely clear to anyone who you date, no one will get hurt.
Romance
You have a tendency to reserve romance for special occasions. It's not that you think that it's unimportant; you just don't believe that it needs to be a part of everyday life. Perhaps future partners might appreciate it if you changed your mindset just a little. It's not that romance needs to be excessive, but a few kind words, or a romantic gesture or two, even on "regular" days, can go a long way and improve your relationship satisfaction.
AttentivenessYou appear to be very attentive to your partner when in a relationship. Being in the habit of frequently checking in to make sure that his/her needs are met and that s/he is happy in the relationship is important, so you're a step ahead in this department!
Chivalry
You apparently need a man to dote on you a fair amount in order to win your respect ? and your heart. Times have changed, and you seem to be aware of the fact that just because someone is only willing to go so far in terms of taking care of you it doesn't mean he's not a great catch. Men have practically been "trained" to curb their chivalrous behaviors, lest they offend a woman who simply won't have any of it.
Gender Roles
You tend to have very traditional attitudes when it comes to the roles of men and women in romantic relationships. Letting go of some of your more old-fashioned beliefs may make it easier to find a mate, since times are constantly changing. You may even enjoy taking on some of the roles that you never thought would appeal to you!
Attachment Style - Summary
Healthy Attachment
You have an unhealthy style of attachment, which may leave your romantic partners feeling smothered or inadequate. It would be wise to examine your attachment style and make some changes in order to achieve a healthy relationship.
You seem to believe in finding a healthy balance between being dependent on a partner and being independent. While you don't want to rely on your partner too heavily, you realize the value of leaning on him/her when you need support.
When in a relationship, most people will at some point experience some concern that their loved one will be unfaithful. After all, these things happen, and when they do, it is usually very painful. You, on the other hand, report that there is little that would make you jealous. As a result, jealousy likely won't cause problems in your relationships, unless your partner turns out to be the jealous one, of course! One caution though - the fact that you are so unfazed can be interpreted by some as a lack of affection, so make sure you communicate clearly to your partner how much you care.
It seems that when you are in a relationship, you prefer to spend almost all of your time with your partner. This is fine if you both share this mindset, but if your partner needs sometime to pursue his/her own interests, it is important to support him/her. If not, s/he may begin to resent your demands on his/her time. Plus, you may need to pursue your own interests too!
You tend to doubt your partner's feelings for you when you are in a relationship, frequently needing reassurance that s/he truly cares about you. Try to put yourself in his/her shoes when you are feeling insecure and remember that it can get exhausting to constantly be trying to prove your love for someone. Be sensitive to this to ensure that your recurring doubts do not negatively affect your relationship. If the reason for this insecurity lies in your past experience, you may need to work on getting over it and learning to trust again.
You seem to enjoy spending most of your time with your partner, to the extent that you neglect other relationships in your life. While this may demonstrate your devotion to your mate, it has some major downsides. A lack of friendships outside of your relationship can be disastrous should the relationship end. You would have to create a new social network for yourself and make new friends. It may also put unnecessary pressure on your partner, since he or she will be your only emotional support and social life. Having separate friendships can be very healthy for relationships.
While you are in a relationship, you prefer a balance between spending time alone together and socializing with others as a couple. This is great, as having outside friendships can enrich your relationship as a whole. Hanging out with other people can spice up a couple's life, provide conversation topics and excitement, and fulfill social needs while spending time together. By the same token, you make sure to reserve enough alone time in your busy schedule for you as a couple.
You appear to need a great deal of privacy in your life. A romantic partner might perceive this as keeping important things from him/her. There seem to be some, if not many, things that you would prefer that your partner did not know about. You might consider being more open to the idea of sharing with your partner, as doing so will most likely have a positive impact on your relationships. A little bit of mystery doesn't hurt; too much of it can.
Sex Life ? Summary
Sexual Experience
You have had relatively limited sexual experience up to this point in your life. When it comes to choosing a partner, remember that compatible attitudes and willingness to experiment are more important than level of sexual experience.
Sexual Prowess
When it comes to sex and sexuality you are quite conservative in your attitudes and behaviors. You may consider loosening up a bit when it comes to the topic of sex and sexuality. There is nothing wrong with having boundaries, but if you let go ? even occasionally -you may be pleasantly surprised at the fun that you have been missing out on. Your pool of potential partners will become much larger if you warm up to the subject of sex and the possibility of experimenting a little. Adventure in the bedroom can be magical when it's between two consenting adults. If you know yourself, and you do not wish to change in this area, you may want to consider finding a partner who has compatible attitudes and preferences. This way you can avoid feeling pressured, or feeling that you are depriving your partner.
It seems that sex is unimportant to you. You don't seem to desire sex all that frequently. It is therefore important for you to be paired with someone with similarly low libido, since sexual compatibility is important for relationship success.
You have a conservative attitude when it comes to sex. There are many sexual behaviors that you believe are unacceptable, and this likely goes for your own behavior as well. You prefer to stick to tried and true techniques and to keep your sex life within well-defined limits.
You are not very interested in sex in general, so the idea of experimenting doesn't appeal to you - or perhaps it doesn't occur to you.
You tend to be reserved in the bedroom. You don't often experience new sexual positions. The thought of including toys in your sex life seems bizarre to you. Sex rarely, if ever, happens outside of the bedroom. You seem to be uncomfortable with any sex act that is outside of 'the norm.' Since sexual compatibility can be so crucial to the success of a relationship, try to find a partner with similar limits.
Faithfulness
You are a sexually faithful partner when in a committed relationship. You are rarely led astray by your sexual urges. This is an admirable quality. You probably laugh when you hear people talk about being "weak" or feeling "sexually oppressed" by having only one sex partner. You are clear on the concept of commitment to your lover.
My Ideal Partner
Personal Characteristics Highly emotionally intelligent
Although someone with average emotional intelligence ? someone just like you - would be an "easier" match for you, you might benefit more from a partner who is highly emotionally intelligent. Should you be paired with someone who is much less adept than you in this area, you may become frustrated with his/her lack of emotional know-how and problems might therefore ensue. Partnering up with someone much more proficient than you, on the other hand, would allow you to learn a lot. It would certainly be beneficial for you in terms of understanding and dealing with your own emotions, as well as those of others. Be aware, however, that s/he might become annoyed by your comparative lacks of skills, so you'll need to make an effort to become more adept in this area.
Has a positive self-concept
As you work on building your self-esteem and boosting your confidence, being in a relationship with a partner who already has healthy self-esteem and a lot of confidence could be the ideal situation for you. You could definitely learn a thing or two from him/her along the way. Although you could do well with a partner who is also working on building his/her self-esteem and confidence, such a person would not be as good of a role model for you in this area.
Somewhat relaxed about rules and doing the "right" thing
Although you're generally an upstanding citizen, you certainly have times where you do not do what's considered by most to be "right". It would therefore be most enjoyable for you to pair up with someone who also isn't overly concerned with living virtuously or doing the "right" thing all the time. Should you be paired with someone who tends to stand on moral high ground more often than you do, s/he might feel that you are asking him/her to compromise his/her own values, or to turn a blind eye when s/he sees you behaving without integrity.
Flexible enough to handle changed or dropped plans
Since you tend to allow your circumstances to prevent you from keeping your word, you will likely have trouble in your future relationships - unless you make an effort to become more dependable. Becoming more reliable is definitely the first step you should take in order to have successful relationships. While you work on this, being with a flexible person who can adjust to changed plans and accept that you are not always going to do what you say you will is key, as long as that person is assertive and able to make it clear when a situation truly requires you to do what you say you will.
Somewhat concerned with being neat and organized
Ideally, your partner would be as organized and tidy as you are, but being paired with someone who prefers things to be either more or less orderly than you do could still work. On one hand, you may learn a few good habits. On the other hand, you may be able to pass along some good habits of your own. Either way, someone with your approach to organization and planning should be able to adjust quite easily to a relationship with a person at either end of this spectrum ? being willing to put some work into it and to compromise will surely help matters.
Prefers to stick to a set routine
Someone who, like you, prefers to create and follow a routine could be the best match for you. You would certainly understand each other. Finding a mate who prefers to live an unstructured life could leave your relationship susceptible to conflict. On the flip side of the coin, someone of this type could prove to be a good influence on you. Someone flexible enough to be willing to follow a routine from time to time could prove to be a low-stress mate for you, since you prefer to schedule most, if not all, of your activities and tasks. Keep in mind that this can be expecting a lot from someone more attached to living a life void of routine. Don't push your luck if you find yourself in a relationship with someone flexible in this department.
Handles stress with ease
Someone who handles him/herself well under stress would definitely be the most effective partner for you. You could really learn some good tools from him/her. S/he would also be better equipped to help see you through life's rough spots than a mate who, like you, tends to react in a maladaptive way to stress.
Strikes a balance between being dominant and encouraging equal input
On occasion, you seem to prefer to be the partner with the control and power in your relationship, while at other times you prefer to take more of a back seat approach and relinquish control to your mate. You would be most content with someone who has similar tendencies. In this scenario, you will establish an equal partnership where both of you have the same amount of input in the relationship. Otherwise, you would find yourself either with a partner who attempts to take too much control, or a partner whose submissive nature requires that you take more power and control than you are comfortable with.
Attitudes and Beliefs
Optimistic and accepting
Finding a partner who is optimistic and tolerant enough to handle your bouts of pessimism will benefit you greatly. See your partner as an example ? someone with a healthier, more balanced way of looking at the world that you could try on for size. Being paired with another pessimist would only draw you deeper into the well of negativity.
Somewhat spontaneous and fairly open to new experiences
As someone who is fairly open to spontaneity and new experiences, but who also appreciates the security of certainty, you could easily adjust to a partner who wants to experience new things quite often or wants to take on last-minute escapades on a regular basis. You might even be able to contribute some stability to his/her life. You would also probably have little difficulty getting along with a mate who is not interested in being swept off on adventures at a moment's notice or in experiencing all things cutting-edge. There's nothing wrong with adding a little spice to a life of predictability and safety. After all, a little risk can be healthy every once in a while, as you well know. Ideally, however, you would be best off with someone who shares your moderate approach to living dangerously.
Flexible and open character
Your somewhat flexible nature would allow you to have a successful relationship with someone who is not as flexible as you, with someone as easy-going as you, and even with someone more adaptable than you. Since you stick to your guns in some areas, but are more relaxed in others, your partner will likely be able to feel that you are not relentlessly fighting to get your way, but that you speak up about the things that are important to you. Other things being equal, your best shot is to go for someone who is very flexible.
Political and social views are midway between conservative and liberal
Since you have a moderate attitude in both the political and social arenas, your ideal partner would likely share these temperate views. Being with someone whose perspectives lie farther left on the political spectrum may stimulate much discussion and debate in your relationship, but problems may arise when it comes to issues on which neither of you are willing to budge. A similar situation could arise if you paired up with someone with a more conservative attitude.
Has traditional perspective on gender roles
Someone with a traditional perspective on the roles of men and women would be a good match for you because of your similar perspective. Ideally, in a relationship, neither partner has to compromise how they see their role in the relationship. Things are just simpler that way. You should be aware, however, that research invariably shows that relationships where the partners are equal tend to be much happier than relationships in which one person wears the proverbial pants. Your somewhat inflexible nature would make it even more difficult to adjust to differing gender role beliefs.
Thinks that money is of little importance in life
Being with someone who places a lot of importance on money would be difficult for you. You might feel that s/he is too focused on the materialistic aspects of life. As a result, finding someone who places either some importance on money or none at all (beyond recognizing that it is necessary for survival) would be the best match for you. This way you could avoid conflict in an area full of potential for differences of opinion.
Spends wisely
There is a happy medium that can be struck when it comes to both spending and saving habits. You seem to have discovered this balance. A partner with the same financial approach would be ideal for you. Either a mate who is less cautious with money, or one who can't seem to let go of any of his/her cash could prove to be a difficult partner for you, as money can cause a lot of conflict in relationships. On the other hand, you may be able to teach someone in either of these categories a thing or two about how to handle his/her money effectively and wisely - while still being able to enjoy it.
Communication and Conflict
Able to communicate effectively
You would be most compatible with someone whose ability to communicate is at the same moderate level as yours. You should avoid being paired up with someone who might get frustrated with your less-than-perfect communication ability or with someone who drags down the level of communication in your couple. Bringing your communication skills up to the next level by practicing with your partner and learning together could be very rewarding for both of you.
Skilled at dealing with conflict
Since you deal relatively well with conflict, finding a partner who is as skilled or even more adept than you are at handling differences of opinion would be ideal for you. You could still learn from someone more skilled in this area ? you just need to be open to it. A man/woman who deals with conflict in a less effective way than you (which may mean avoidance) may need you to be a model to him/her for handling conflict. You could find yourself being the only one in the relationship willing to deal with any conflicts that arise, which could quickly become frustrating and tiring. Social Life
Has characteristics of both an introvert and an extrovert
As somebody who possesses the qualities of an introvert as well as those of an extrovert, you'd be able to form a rewarding bond with a partner who is either introverted or extroverted. Perhaps the simplest and best combination, however, would be you and someone who, like you, can neither be classified as an introvert or an extrovert, but falls somewhere in the middle of this continuum. That person would surely understand that, although you sometimes like to be the center of attention, at other times you are more subdued.
Possesses good social skills
A partner with good social skills would work best for you, but you could probably fare well with a less socially proficient mate as well. You could even help this latter type to improve his/her social behavior along the way. If you are paired with an individual who has either very poor or very good social skills, the more skilled of the two of you might become annoyed or feel held back socially by the other.
Places moderate importance on relationships with family and friends
A good match for you would be someone who, like you, places some importance on having a social network outside of your relationship, but who does not feel reliant on family and/or friends. This way, you will have compatible social needs and desires. Should you find yourself with someone who does not share your desire for closeness with friends and family, s/he'll need to be flexible. Otherwise, s/he may push you to change yourself in ways that don't interest you.
Relationship Skills and Attitudes
Tolerant and patient; is willing to divulge quite a bit about his/her daily life
Since you seem to trust your romantic partner relatively easily with doubts creeping in only occasionally, your ideal match would talk openly about him/herself and his/her life. S/he would also have to be a pretty tolerant and patient person who is able to deal with you at those times when you question what s/he says or his/her motives for acting in certain ways. Keep in mind that learning to trust your partner is possibly the most invaluable thing you could do to ensure a successful relationship.
Moderate need for emotional intimacy
Being in a relationship with someone who requires a moderate degree of intimacy would work best for you, since you have the same need and desire for emotional closeness. Although being paired with someone who has a very high need for closeness might encourage you to grow and become even more open than you are now, your partner might find that you are too closed emotionally. You might have to work to become more up front with your emotions and your feelings.
Somewhat tolerant individual
Your tendency toward tolerance allows you to create a fulfilling relationship both with a partner who is also tolerant and with someone who may not be quite as understanding as you are. Ideally however, you'd be with someone with the same level of tolerance as you. This way you can create an equal relationship where neither partner is overly critical and you can both accept the other person's way of doing things. Those rare times where you feel really passionate about something will be easy to handle.
Moderately self-sacrificing
Your moderately selfless nature indicates that you are not likely to be taken advantage of, nor are you going to try to get your own way in every situation. An ideal match for you would be someone who, like you, is moderately selfless, although you would be well matched with a highly self-sacrificing person as well. This way, you will both often take each other's needs into account, but you will also be sure to make your own voices heard. Since you are generally assertive and make sure that your voice is heard, you would be able to handle being with someone who tended to be egocentric, but obviously, such a pairing would not be ideal.
Ready to be in a committed relationship
A partner who is ready to leap into a long-term, committed relationship would be an ideal companion for you, as you seem to be of a similar mindset. Pairing up with someone who is not looking for commitment would not be a good idea, as you could potentially pressure him/her into something that s/he is not ready for. S/he could also feel as though s/he were disappointing you by not being willing to dive into the relationship wholeheartedly. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are ready to take on a committed relationship. Letting a potential mate know what you are ? and what you are not ? looking for will allow for a more honest interaction; one that won't leave either of you feeling disappointed or shortchanged.
Conservative sexual attitudes and behavior
Finding a partner who has the same attitudes about sex and sexual activity in your relationship would be ideal for you. You could then avoid a potential source of disagreement, and prevent either of you from feeling pressured to take part in acts or behaviors that you are not comfortable with. Of course, if you are open to learning some new tricks in the bedroom, then you may consider finding a partner with a more adventurous attitude than your own in this department.
Faithful when in a relationship
As someone who is generally faithful to your partner, you would be well suited to a mate with similar tendencies. In this way, you can establish a trusting and open relationship together. You certainly don't deserve to be with someone on the other end of the spectrum, or with someone whose wandering eye tempts him/her to be led astray at times.
Willing to discuss his/her feelings
Since you have a high need for security in your relationship, it's crucial that your partner is always willing to share his/her feelings with you and to tell you how s/he feels about you. Your sense of self can sometimes depend on your partner's opinion of you. You likely don't trust that your partner is with you because s/he truly wants to be, and you are probably expecting him/her to leave you eventually. For this reason, having a partner who is truly comfortable talking about his/her feelings is important for you. A partner who is completely unwilling or unable to express his/her feelings for you would not be a good partner for you ? the relationship could prove to be upsetting or painful.
Has independent and dependent traits when in a relationship You appear to fall somewhere in between dependent and independent. This would allow you to have fulfilling relationships with several types of people. Ideally, your mate would also be someone who is neither completely independent nor completely dependent, but is also a mix of these two characteristics. If paired with someone who is independent, you would have little trouble adjusting to his/her need for time alone, provided that you got enough "together time" to satisfy your needs. Likewise, chances are you could tolerate a dependent partner's need for your time and attention, provided that s/he was willing to work on becoming more independent.
Moderate need for control
As a person who is generally willing to relinquish control to your partner, you could enjoy a successful relationship with someone with a tendency to seek control of situations, just as easily as with someone who has no strong desire to be "in charge." However, the ideal for you would be someone in between, who asserts his/herself when necessary, but is also just as willing to seek out your input in making decisions.
Emotionally steady; tolerant of mood swings Ideally, you would be paired with someone who can handle your emotional ups and downs, but whose moods are more stable than yours. You could be looking at a rather chaotic relationship otherwise. A partner who is very understanding of your mood swings would be the best match for you. You would rarely have to explain yourself to him/her.
Has good control of anger
Seeking out a partner who is highly tolerant - specifically of mood instability - would be a good idea for you since you sometimes experiences bouts of anger. Until you get a complete grip on your anger, you will need an understanding partner by your side. Just be sure that you work on keeping your anger under wraps ? no one deserves to be the target of angry outbursts.
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