My shoelaces are hardly ever untied
I dont pick my nose in public
I have never put a red shirt in with the whites
I was not directly responsible for the Holocaust
When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building, I dont push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor
Elvis is dead and JLo is married; who's left?
I read National Geographic, and not just for the nude pictures of African gorillas
My dog seems to like me
I always keeps my printer paper well-stocked
I don't turn into a werewolf during full moons
I hardly ever slurp when drinking soup
I always manage to resist the urge to poke sharp objects into my ear on the first date
I am not an alien from another dimension bent on World destruction
I very rarely have homicidal tendencies
I make excellent use of my spare time
I DO NOT OVERUSE THE CAPSLOCK KEY
I subscribe to the theory that the world is round
I am mixing up 'dessert' and 'desert' less and less every day
I found Waldo
I have never passed out on any world leader's front lawn
I didn't cry at the end of "finding nemo"
I have never found rude shapes in clouds
I have never blatantly misused a blender
I rarely black out for more than a few seconds
I make a real effort not to spit when I talk
Own The Who box set and makes copies for my friends
I don't scrape my vegetables onto my grandmother's plate when no one is looking
I don't wear male undergarments
I have never been struck by lightning while simultaneously being hit by a falling meteorite
I am an accomplished tv-watcher
I have never opened fire on an innocent group of unarmed people
I did not mastermind Julius Caeser's death; that was Cassius
I had no trouble committing my phone number to memory
I rarely stare directly at the sun
I have never broken into a bear's home and eaten all his porridge
I have never flipped the bird to a lady over age 60
So far, I have never resorted to cannibalism
I have never exploited the tradition of mistletoe to kiss my cousin.
I have never stared at someone's wart except mimi's for more than 2-3 minutes
I have never caused a traffic accident because I was fixing my make-up
I have no communicable diseases
No tyrannical system of government is named after me
I have no plans to ever give the Pope a wedgie
I never ring doorbells and then runs away before they answer
Hard as it may be to believe, I have never lost a pole vault competition
I never forget my bug spray when going out into the woods
I have never pulled the football away from Charlie Brown
I very rarely ties cans to a cat's tail
I'm hardly ever referred to as 'infernal'
I have never suffered from lockjaw
I am excellent at compiling purposeless lists
I would give up my appendix for the right man
I'm great with kids; even better with roast beef
I have managed so far not to decapitate myself
Gets fewer and fewer 'ice-cream headaches'
I have never locked myself in a car unintentionally
I do not use mouse traps
Contrary to popular belief,I do not comb my hair with a fork
It's been over a year since I last got my neck tangled in a telephone cord
I rarely eat paste between meals
I usually remember to take the shell off of an egg before eating it
I often resist the powerful temptation to shave rude swear words in my hair
And when I just can't resist, it's usually shaved somewhere where you can't see it
I have managed to overcome a long-lasting desire to clean toasters in a bath-tub
At a touch of a button, I can have a pizza delivered to me personally in under 30 minutes
Unlike Vincent Van Gogh, I would not chop off my ear for a girl
I would never forget to clean the microwave after having placed a small rodent inside
I no longer bear a grudge against Santa Claus for failing to deliver that barbie house in '94
Come on, i'm not *that* much of an eyesore!
I am not fooled when given poisoned candy on Halloween from my mother
I refuse to play 'lets hide grandma's teeth'
I can be easily entertained for hours with simple, one-piece toys
As of yet, I have never overlooked the importance of regular, continuous breathing
There is a refreshing absense of monsters under my bed these days
I have never smuggled tinker toys onto an international flight
My picking a fight with an inanimate object is quite uncommon
If you let me take you to dinner, you get free food.
I'm a good listener
You might actually enjoy it.
I am persistent.
Would you want to be known throughout history as "the one who let Christina get away"?
I always remember to use pixie dust when attempting to jump out of a window and fly.
You'll forever wonder what you're missing if you don't date me.
I don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.
You haven't had a sufficient dose of strangeness in your life.
I believe the rabbit should be given some Trix
The voices in my head told me you would like me.
I do not drink and drive. (At least not alcohol. Dr. Pepper, maybe.)
You've probably heard every line in the book... So, what's one more?
I am loyal. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am helpful. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am friendly. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I have never yelled "Fire!" in a crowded theatre
I am courteous. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am kind. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am obedient. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am cheerful. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
It's more fun than doing your income taxes.
I am thrifty. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am brave. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am clean. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I am reverent. (Girl Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
I know all the words to the "Gilligan's Island" theme, but won't sing it unless asked.
I can have it my way at Burger King.
I usually answer phone calls in 30 mins. or less!
I support the Girl Scouts by buying cookies.
I know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver.
I have never been used as a human sacrifice.
I'm thinner than Elvis.
I "Just Say No" to drugs.
I practice random kindness
Occasionally, I have been known to have a clue.
I have been able to correctly answer 4 of 5 questions on the MacDonalds Disney trivia Challenge.
Thor thinks you should.
Zeus agrees with him.
I hated Barney before it was cool.
I make my bed at least 50% of the time.
I don't let friends drive drunk.
I only look innocent
I like fun.
We are of opposite genders in the same species.
Extensive research has proven that I am, indeed, a carbon based life form.
You are falling madly in lust with me, you just haven't realized it yet.
I am heterosexual, unmarried and have a pulse
Give me 130 reasons why you shouldn't go out with me