christophers doings.
christopher there has decided to free himself from all lies and tell the world about the billy situation.. thankk you christtophherrr. ;o) what a nice boyy. anyways.
now you see, how is what i did any different at all, to what billy, berg, and cooper did. they all ratted. i just helped myself out. thats all. and lord knows it wasnt supposed to happen how it did. and its not like im sitting here fucking giggling about the whole thing. oh well.

heres one for you chris ;;
The Fifth Amendment's double jeopardy clause does operate to protect a criminal defendant from being tried more than once for the same crime after acquittal or conviction.

happy.
today was the first day of my new life.
i am determinded to be happy. i will. watch and see.
kaila and i battled? odd. bc the first away message that started the whole thing wasnt even about her? anyways. im better than that. then her and marz went at it. good lordy. christopher and i are no longer speaking. he does have court monday. im a bit worried, my original plan was to go..but now im unsure? . . i think i will go for support tho. .
although i wont be able to go in. atleast he knows his friendship will be valued again someday? hmm.
apparently im a "fat fucking dog" amongst other words like.. "slut" odd. very odd.
none the less, i took it to heart and i SWEAR to god i will be gorgeous one day. thin and gorgeous. all the boys will flock. and i will be loved. watch and see christopher ryan oconnell. watch and see. watch and see. amen.

morningg timmeee. ;D
went to the beach yesterday.
goodtimesss.

eeek!
i got myself a hot new SN tonite.
beach tomarrow with the girls.
eeek!
i cant waaittt. ;o)

christopher rang tonite. that went well.
doesnt mean that im overly pleased with him.

did i mention that the other nite as marzy and i were leaving bergs she looks over at kaila and is like..
"bye SLUT"
ohh goodness.

i found that particular night to be EXTRMELY horrible and fucking rude as fuck.
come on. you KNOW im at bergs dont bring your NEW fucking girlfriend over and flaunt that shit infront of me and expect me to be all fucking giggles. NO.FUCKING.WAY.
sigh.
mother fucckerss.

and for today im not afraid.
still at uncle bobbys.
the earth is spinning and i keep on living.
with this pain in my heart.
i keep on living.

happiness WILL come.
one day.

or..
LOVE will come.

summer air.
my birthday was pretty good.
i pierced my nose! eeeek! i love ittttttt.
highlighted my haaairrrr. love itttttttt.
chris and kaila are still together.. interestinggg...
im a bit angered at him, i heard somethings that hes done recently that im not to happy with...
he'll figure it out.
still at uncle bobbys.
shrink appointment today.
berg is home for the weekend.

morning time.
i wake up to the sound of irenes voice. i love ittt. today will be a quiet mulling around day.
*lunch with irene and kim
*tanning iwth MY marzzz
*lounging aroundddd
*shrink at 630

christopher and carter leave tomarrow for the Cape for a few days.. maybee itd be better if we didnt talk until he gets back? idk. we'll seee.

.gigglesss.
interesting day to say the least.
wake up to the sound of christophers oh so fucking adorable voice .. "what are you doinnggg?" i cleaned, then went over to his house. at which time he did the MOST AMAZING thing anyones ever done for me. flower petals. so cute. i was ready to fucking bawl. instead i come off like this rude ass bitch. wonderful. i was SO nervous. really. odd i know. considering ... well considering the history. AMAZING. really. so cute- he picks out these songs .. ;D so we're you knowing.. and theres this song and its like.. "blah blah blah.. i miss you" and me being all mrs read into things.. im like.. "did u pick these songs out for a reason?" him - "yes" .. i miss you eh? not goin there on that one. the best yet tho.. hes like.. stay forever, after i asked him to stay. ilu was said? heh. i dunnoooo. its kinda hard to hate the one person you care about so fuckign much when they do nice shit like that. .. soo.. wheres that leave him and kaila? .. im assuming where they left off? .. as far as im concerned.. he says its fucking me. i guess it is? until then..
.we'll see.

relief at last.
i do believe im STARTING to be fucking happy with myself. now that im out of that fucking home, that is.
christopher. hah. i realized last nite, that i WILL be happy with or without his touch.
.things WILL be okay.

.the worst is over.
work went well today.
gosh i really enjoy this waitressing shit.
i love my roXanneeee. ;D