Hanovers suck like a Son of a BITCH

If the ocean were rum and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up, But the oceans are not rum and I'm not a duck, So pass the bottle and shut the fuck up, Heres to you Heres to me, Friends forever, we shall be, If you would like to disagree, FUCK YOU! HERES TO ME!!!

I been hungover my fair share of times. In fact maybe more than my fair share. All I know is hangovers suck mule ass. You wake up in the morning and your face feels like somebody inflated it with air. The alcohol is still sweating from your pores. Your mouth is parched and nasty tasting. Then the headaches, stomach aches, nausia, diareah pooples, and wondering where they hell the bruise on your elbow came from. You can only recall parts of the stupid stunts you pulled the night before and make yourself believe it was all a dream, if you remember anything that is. To top it off you have to go to work and all the friends you partyed with have the day off or the one or two who don't have jobs and will sleep all day anways. On top of that you blew a shit load of money on them because you wanted them to have a good time and maybe one day they will pay for you too. Now your stuck feeling like shit, with the shits, shit for money left in your bank account, and a shit day of work ahead. Anyway, I thought I would share some of my hangover tips.

1. The absolute MOST important thing is to hydrate. The best way to avoid or rid a ass kicking hangover is to eat and hydrate before, during, and after you drink. I'll be honest and say the only time I drink water when i'm drinking is if i'm on the verge of puking and i can't sit up right without getting the spins. Make sure you drink lots of sport drink or water. Exspecially before you go to bed. All that shitty feeling comes from being dehydrated. It makes your body as well as your brain swell. Ever notice how puffy your face looks after a night of getting shit faced?

2. Eat. I'll admit theres times when I havent ate at all or eat little before i drink but that just means i get drunk quicker and make an ass out of myself quicker than everyone who did eat. If you don't eat before or during (to soak up some of the alchy) then definately eat after. That is if you can stomach it or at least still be able to hold your head up without getting spins. The food will soak up some of the alchohol. I also heard that steak or anything with protein (so meats I assume) work. I guess protein does something.

Lets face it people, without drunk people, high people, or truckers (maybe all of the above) Dennys would go out of businees and people would lose jobs. Support your fellow citizens. Bacon cheeseburger with season fries will work wonders when intoxicated.

3. Sweating. I have actually worked in the raging sun hungover and sweat everything out. I felt better after awhile. Of course it feels nasty and the alcohol coming out of your pores reeks. So if you can get to a sauna thats actually good because you sweat out all those toxins. Make sure you hydrate though. Obviously if your sweating your body is losing fluids.

4. If your lucky enough to be around people in the medical field with medical supplies then the number one way to rid a hangover is to get stuck. If they have saline bags have them give you an IV. Instant cure and instant hydration. They use those bags to stick people who are severly dehydrated.

5. The only way to get sober is time. Same can be said if you have a hangover and just want to sleep all day. i've done it.

6. I never tryed it because when i wake up hungover the last thing i want to see, smell, or taste is alcohol but have a little drink or two when you wake up is suppose to work.

7. I also heard that bloody marys, plain toast, greasy foods like a burger and a shake (milk) work. Thats if you can keep everything in your stomach.

8. My last advice is when you throw up make sure you drink water right after or else you will be even more dehydrated when you wake up and the beer shits will make you more dehyrdated as well.

Email: geminigal82@aol.com