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feelin' good
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[ some will seek forgiveness, others escape ]
Tuesday, 7 September 2004
[ il primo giorno ]
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: 'Get Retarded'- Black Eyed Peas [hate it, stuck in head]
Topic: feelin' good

So I started school today. Eh.
Already I have homework.
It wasn't so bad- I only got lost a couple times.
Finding the bus circle was sorta hard too.
The bus refuses to drop me off at my house, which is stupid. So I get dropped off at my top of my street instead. *shrugs* It's okay, as long as the weather's all right.
I have friends in most of my classes.
The VF kids seem okay.
The only class that really freaked me out was science.
My math teacher is mean. My other teachers are okay.
Looks like I'm going to survive after all.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 12:17 PM EDT
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Sunday, 5 September 2004
. : + : . s l i g h t l y . o v e r e m o t i o n a l - b u t . s t i l l . f u l l y . f u n c t i o n a l . : + : .
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: 'Why Can't I'- Liz Phair [ick. stuck in head.]
So I haven't posted in awhile! I know. I'm getting sort of sick of bloggin'. I feel silly talking to a computer. ;]
Anyway. I went to Avalon, now I'm back...that was cool. Um, then on Friday I went to a football game at Radnor High with Anna, Nicole, Eric, Lori, Mike, and Mrs. W. It was fun- especially laughing at the cowboy hats and cheerleaders and Eric being a 'prophet' and shoulder pads and Nicole and Anna flirting with guys while hanging around the Port-O'-Potties [heh, creative spelling]. That was great. But then I got home and got in a fight with my dad, so that wasn't cool. Sort of ruined my night.
Then today! Geez. Today. I slept over at Steph's with Euge, Kels, Maria, Karish, Liz, and...was that all? Oh yeah, and Lauren. O'course Krone. Heh. We watched 'Dragonfly' [SO FREAKY! eep] and screamed when the dead kid opened his eyes and then cried at the ending. Aww, the Then we didn't go to sleep till...oh, around 8? In the morning, that is. So I ended up getting about an hour and a half of sleep, heh. I'm feeling a little better now- this morning I felt pretty sick from the lack of sleep and stuff. But I'm just a little zleepie now.
Um...eep. School in two days. I just don't feel prepared! Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh... I'm totally in denial, lol. Whenever someone mentions school or September or whatever, I'm like 'SHUT. UP.' *freaks out* I am not looking forward to school in the least. Insane homework? Midterms? Finals? Cliques? No thanks.
Whatever. I'm gonna go sleep with my eyes open some more.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 6:57 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 24 August 2004
. : + : . h e h , o o p s . : + : .
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: 'Running Away'- Hoobastank
**This is an entry I *tried* to post last night, but I posted it to a blog that I didn't know existed, lol. So now I'm posting it. :) [Happy, Will? Lol.]

Wow! Haven't updated in ages- thanks for reminding me, Will. ;]
I'm back from my grandma's. [Yes, I actually [i]was[/i] gone! Lol.] It was okay.
And...I got my schedule! Pronounced 'sheh-jull' with a British accent, heh.

[ fall semester ]
Day One- French 2, Chem/Phys, World Lit, Study Hall, Algebra 1B, Studio Art 1, Study Hall, World Culture.
Day Two- French 2, Chem/Phys, World Lit, Study Hall, Algebra 1B, Studio Art 1, Study Hall, World Culture.
Day Three- French 2, Chem/Phys, World Lit, Study Hall, Algebra 1B, Studio Art 1, Study Hall, World Culture.
Day Four- French 2, Chem/Phys, World Lit, Phys Ed 9, Algebra 1B, Studio Art 1, Chanteuses, World Culture.
Day Five- French 2, Chem/Phys, World Lit, Study Hall, Algebra 1B, Studio Art 1, Chanteuses, World Culture.
Day Six- French 2, Chem/Phys, World Lit, Phys Ed 9, Algebra 1B, Studio Art 1, Chorale, World Culture.

(Chanteuses= chorus, Chorale= audition chorus)

And guess what? I'm in a *much* better mood. I don't know why. But I am. *grins* Heh. So no more depression for me. I'm back to my normal self.
And...yeah. I went swimming today at the YMCA with Katie Ikonomou, her little sisters, Laurel, and Laurel's friend. We went to 'Stoga also, but we weren't allowed in [we got in big trouble, lol] so we went to T/E with the three girls and showed them how to use their lockers and stuff. So yeah. It was fun.
Um...yeah. Going kayaking tomorrow. Mmhmm. So yep! My bedtime, good night.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 4:11 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 10 August 2004
. : + : . e s s e n d o . i l . m i o . n o m e . : + : .
Azul. Bleu. Blauw. Blau. ƒÊƒÎƒÉƒÃ. Blu. „s„€„|„…„q„€. However you say it.

I'm unhappy- therefore, I am automatically in listmaking-mode.

[ Reasons Why I Am Unhappy: ]

[-x-] I have no good friends at camp.
[-x-] These so-called 'friends' ignore me. So I'm left alone. All day. All week. All summer.
[-x-] My parents and I don't get along. They don't try to understand me, I become unhappy. I can't help it that I'm different from them- that I don't like pink, play the piano, wear 'sensible', girly clothing, listen to music that they like, or excel in school- that's just not me. I'm a good student, but not great. I like rock music- screamo. I play the guitar, but it doesn't come easily to me. I don't like to sing in front of my parents. I like dark or bold colors. I wear baggy jeans and skate shirts. My shoes are not what would be considered 'sensible'- they express who I am, but not who my parents wish I was. I'm not perfect. Je ne suis pas parfait. Mais, je suis moi. Ils n'aiment pas moi, mais- er- too bad. *sighs* And they give me no freedom whatsoever. I'm fourteen years old here, and have enough sense to realize that I should not accept rides from strangers, no matter how cute their imaginary 'lost' puppy is. I'm not a bimbo here. I can take care of myself, you know?
[-x-] I have to go to my grandma's house next weekend. She still thinks I am a little girl. She also thinks that I am a little girl who is capable of doing everything- which, of course, is untrue on both counts. She doesn't get along with my mom. She is very bossy and doesn't seem to realize that I'm a person capable of thinking my own thoughts. Gee, this sounds exactly like what my own parents think!
[-x-] I still don't know if *a certain person* likes me or not. Everyone hints at it, but no one will tell me. I'd like to hear it from him, you know? But I'm too shy, and he's too shy.
[-x-] I feel like people think I'm dumb. When I talk to some people, I feel like I'm being talked down to. I'm not perfect, I'm not a genius- but I hate being talked down to, because I can understand a lot of things that others can't.
[-x-] I don't feel like I'm getting far in my relationship with God. I can't help but compare myself to people I know, and they all seem somewhat superior to me for some reason. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to show my religion; other times I can barely contain my pride. It's something I need to work on; but it's not something that I should be comparing to others about.
[-x-] I'm afraid to do anything- and it's holding me back. I'm letting my fears control my life, which is wrong. But I don't know how to stop. I try my hardest to trust in God, but it's hard sometimes. So hard.
[-x-] I haven't been sleeping well lately, and I'm so tired during the day that I don't feel like doing anything.
[-x-] My parents pile so much responsibility on me, yet I don't get any more freedom in return. I feel like I do everything around the house anymore.
[-x-] I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about my problems anymore. No one understands.
[-x-] I feel like I'm expected to be perfect. Just because I have talents, I'm smart and I'm pretty, people think I'm capable of everything and expect me to always be in a good mood. That's impossible. Please realize that.
[-x-] I'm so insecure. Self-esteem? *poof* I used to be so confident. Now it's gone. I don't know why, I don't know how- I just know that it's now non-existant. Which I'm not used to. I think it's because of camp- that I have no friends.
[-x-] I can be so narcissistic at times. I hate it, but I can't help it.
[-x-] I pray, and can't see anything coming of it. I know there must be something going on, but I can't [i]see[/i] it. And I need to.
[-x-] I've been trying to write some more songs lately, and they all suck. Writers' block to the extreme. I don't know what happened.
[-x-] I need to feel loved to survive, and I'm not feeling that right now. I don't get along with my family, and I don't have any friends at camp, and I can't see my only good friends until the beginning of September. Maybe that's why I feel the need to have a boyfriend- because I thrive on love. But I feel so alone sometimes. Alone.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 8:01 PM EDT
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Saturday, 7 August 2004
. : + : . t u t t i . v i v i a m o . i n . u n . v i l l a g g i o . : + : .
I just saw 'The Village' with Amy, Rachel, Jenny, Eric, Dudy, Ben, and Graham. [Sorry if I forgot anyone- it wasn't intentional, hehe.] It was so much fun- the movie wasn't that scary [although I did get freaked out and was pretty jumpy at times, but so was everyone else] and was overall good.

I love my church.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 9:42 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 3 August 2004
. : + : . h e h . : + : .
Hair Color:Dark blonde.
Eye color:Blue.
Any piercings?:Yes, two on each ear.
Any tattos?:Nope.
Have you ever....
Dyed your hair:No.
Pierced a body part yourself:No.
Gotten into a fist fight:Yes.
Cursed at a teacher:No.
Watched TV for 8 hours straight:No.
Played on the computer for 24 hours:No.
Color:Um...Granny Smith green. Hehe.
Band:Dashboard Confessional. *grins*
Food:Chocolate cake!!
Drink:Chocolate malts. Or Vanilla Coke.
Place to be:The ocean.
Song:'Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape'- Underoath.
Person:Me! Hehe. Just kidding. I'm not sure.
This or That
Nite or day:Day.
Orange or yellow:Yellow.
Black or blue:Blue.
Boat or plane:Boat.
Phone or computer:Computer.
Hamburger or Hotdog:Neither- I'm vegetarian.
Pop or Rap:Pop. But both suck.
Punk or Emo:Emo!!
Goth or Metalhead:Goth.
Do you like...
Orange pop:Yep.
Grape soda:Not really.
Vanilla coke:A lot.
Curly fries:Yay!
PEANUT BUTTER!:It's okay. I like it when combined with chocolate. ;] Reese's is my friend, hehe.
Good charlotte?:No.
Mest?:Never heard them.
Simple Plan?:No.
How bout Slipknot?:Nope.
How many friends do you have?:A whole bunch. Too many to count. I love you guys. ;]
Best:Not sure. So many amazing friends.
Funniest:I don't know.
Dullest:What? My friends aren't dull!
Weirdest:Hahaha, all of us.
Nicest:I don't know.
Meanest:My friends aren't mean.
Coolest:I think we're all pretty dang awesome.
Scariest:Um..also all of us haha.
Quiestest:I'm not sure. I have a few quiet friends.
Loudest:Steph, probably, lol.
Blondest:Um..hehe. Not me..*grins*
Most annoying:I'm not sure. [I love you, Steph..hahahaha.]
Most cheerful:*shrugs* Not me lol.
Most depressed:Um...*covers face with hands* Not sure.
Random Questions dude
Do you like penguins:Yes. Yes, I do like penguins.
How bout MONKEYS:No.
What time is it right now:8:11 P to the M.
Where were you born:In a hospital.
Where are you now:In my family room.
Do you like your life:Yes, usually I do. Although it does frustrate me at times.
Have you ever said DUDE WHERES MY CAR?? while looking for something:Hehehe yes. *ducks*
Do you like the word BAH:It's okay. I like 'eh' better.
Can people trust you:I hope so. I think I'm trustworthy.
Do you trust yourself:Um..what?
If you could have 3 wishes what would you wish for:1) World peace [cliché, but true]. 2) That I could be satisfied with the way I am. 3) That I could be the person God wants me to be.
Did you know that there are 50 million monkeys in India:Really? Hmm, no, I didn't know that.
Did you know that the shortest sentence in the english language is I am?:Nope. That's cool.
Do you like the president? *haha*:Eh, no.
Where do you see your self in 5 years?:In five years I'll be nineteen, college. Not sure what college yet; maybe Eastern or another Christian college.
Could you imagine being in a famous rock/heavy metal/punk band:Sure. ;] In my dreams.
Do you like chcolate ice cream?:I love it.
Whats your favorite movie?:'Pay It Forward'.
Have you ever seen Austin Powers in Goldmember?:Yes. It was very dumb.
Do you know what a Fajha is?:Hahahaha yes.
If so wut is it?:Fahja= Father. Although I spell it differently.
Can you belive I just asked you that last question? lol:No. No, I truly can't. *sob*
How many hours do you spend on the computer in one day:Maybe...three?
How many hours do you watch tv in a day:About ten or fifteen minutes, lol. At breakfast I watch the news.
Do you want a cadillac:Yes!
If quizzes are quizical what are test? lol:Ewww. Go away.
What time is it now?:8:15 P.M.

Take this when your bored!! brought to you by BZOINK!
EmotionDump - 100% Anonymous Emotions and Confessions

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 7:57 PM EDT
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Monday, 2 August 2004
. : + : . q u i z . q u i z . : + : .
Eldest, Middle, Youngest, Only Kid?:Middle/eldest- I have an older half-sister who lives in ME.
Family::Two parents, half-sister, younger sister.
Do you go to school::Yes.
What is your highest level achieved?:I'm going into ninth grade in September.
Religion::Christianity- specifically, Presbyterian.
Do you have friends?:No. I just pretend to. [yes]
Do you like to be lonely?:Not usually..
What color are your eyes?:Bright blue to gray-blue, depending on the lighting.
Do you like it?:Yes.
What color eyes do you want?:I wish my eyes were like, insanely bright blue...or ice-blue. That would rawk. But I like my eyes.
What color is your hair?:Dark blonde.
Do you like it?:I wish it were a little lighter, but for the most part, yes.
What color do you want?:Either black or golden-blonde.
Do you dye your hair?:No.
If yes, how regularly?:N/A.
Do you wear glasses?:No.
Do you have a trademark?:Yes, my Chucks. ;] Last year, it was the tie.
How tall are you?:5'5".
What's your heritage/nationality?:I'm mostly British- all European.
Do you have the same hairstyle everyday?:I have three hairstyles, haha, but usually I just wear it down.
Do you think you look exciting?:Um..?
Are you self concious?:Not insanely self-conscious, but yes.
Do you obsess over your looks?:I'm not obsessive about my appearance, but I do try to look my best.
Do you even care about your appearences?:Yes.
How long do you spend in the bathroom?:Not long.
About life... again
Punk/Goth/Ghetto/Prep/Jock/Nerd/Other (list)? stereotype?:Emo. ;] That explains it all, haha.
Do you pick your nose? In secret?:Doesn't everyone? Ha. Not often. Only if I have to.
Do you like yourself? Life?:Usually.
Are you liked by people?:I think/hope so.
Do you want to become famous?:Yep. Heh.
Do you want to make a difference in this big world?:O'course.
Why?:Because I think the world sucks as it is and I want to change that.
Fun Stuff
Which celebrities do you worship in secret?:I don't 'worship' celebrities, sorry.
Are you one of those people who diss fans of a music genre you don't like?:Usually not. Except Hilary Duff fans, haha- but just my sister. ;]
Which pop princess shits you?:Hilary Duff.
Can you sing?:I like to think so.
Can you act?:If I want to.
Who is your fave actor?:Um...probably Tom Hanks.
Fave movie?:Pay It Forward.
Backstreet Boys or Nsync?:BSB! I used to be their biggest fan.
Good Charlotte or Blink 182?:Ergh. Um..Blink. But I don't like either band.
Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears?:Um..Christina, I guess. She's a *little* less slutty.
Slayer or Black Sabbath?:Um, I don't know of the band neither.
The Beatles or The Monkees?:The Beatles!!
ABBA or the A Teens?:Ergh. I don't know. Do I have to choose?
Guilty pleasure?:*shrugs*
The Simpsons or Family Guy?:I've never seen Family Guy, so...the former, I s'pose.
MTV... yeah or neah?:I'm sort of in-between.
Do you have a group of friends?:Several.
How many?:Um..*thinks* Two at school [although they're combining], one at church, two at camp. Four?
To an onlooker, what would your group be viewed as?:At school- the smart kids/artists, I guess. At church- not sure. At camp- the ones that the popular folks don't like. Heh.
Who are you closest to?:My church friends and a couple people from school.
Who is your best friend?:I don't really have one- I have so many amazing friends that I can't choose just one.
Are any of them bad influences?:My friends? Nah.
Who are you in your group? The leader? The leader's bitch? The follower?:I'm not the leader, although I was in elementary school. I'm sort of...just like, there. Haha.
Are you dirty minded?:*shrugs*
Do you have any sexual feelings towards friends?:I don't know..not my female friends, that's for sure.
Generally, how are you viewed in your group?:The cool kid. Heh, just kidding- I don't know. I guess the one that you can come to when you need advice or consolation.
Do your friends know you?:Most of them.
Are you single or taken?:Single.
If single:
Do you want to stay single?:Well, I do like someone, so no.
Why are you single?:Because I just dumped someone because I didn't like them. Haha.
Do you date around?:No...
When was the last time you have a bf/gf?:Last Monday. *grins*
If taken:
How long have you been together?:N/A.
How serious are you?:N/A.
How many exes have you had?:Um...*thinks* I don't know who I would count as an ex. The only serious boyfriend I had was Jeff, so I'd
How exes has your partner had?:N/A.
Are you physically attracted to your bf/gf?:N/A.
When was the first kiss?:I've never kissed anyone.
First date?:N/A.
Do you love him/her?:N/A.
Does their family adore or hate you?:N/A.
How far have you gone with your bf/gf?:N/A.
Does your family hate or adore him/her?:N/A.
What do you think of his/her mother?:N/A.
How did you meet?... have I asked this already?:N/A.
Straight/Bisexual/Homosexual?:I'm straight.
Life... yet again.
Are you bored?:A little. Why else would I be taking this quiz? ;]
Can you play any instruments? Which ones?:I play the guitar, and I sing. In the past I've played the cello and the flute, and I can still sort of play them.
Math or English?:English. I'm not very good at math.
The Arts or Sciences?:The arts.
Technical or Creative?:Creative.
Are you poetic?:Yep.
How many babies do you want?:I'm not sure. At the moment, I'm obviously not ready for kids, so I'll make that decision when it's time. ;]
Do you spend most of your time on the net?:Quite a bit of it, haha.
What do you think of your country's leader?:I don't like Bush that much. I think he's made some mistakes.
Do you love me?:I don't know who 'me' is.
What kind of meat do you like to eat?:I'm vegetarian.
What's your favourite food?:Chocolate cake! J'adore le gateau chocolat. ;]
Drink?:Chocolate malts. [see a pattern here? heh.]
I'm bored now. Wanna stop?:Sure.
Because I am.

A long survey to do when you are bored brought to you by BZOINK!
Get paid to take surveys!
** basics **
Nickname::I have too many to name. ;]
Birthstone::The people who're in charge of them can't decide- either pearl or amethyst.
Righty or Lefty::Righty.
** your looks **
Weight::About 105 pounds.
Shoe size::11.
Hair Color::Dark blonde.
Hair Length::Fairly long.
Eye Color::Ranging between bright blue and gray-ice-blue.
Size::Size of..what?
Braces::Nope. Never needed 'em.
Piercings::Two on each ear.
** fashion **
Where do you shop::Usually GAP.
What do you usually wear::Jeans and a t-shirt.
What kind of shoes do you wear::Chucks- red with writing on 'em or flowered.
Do you wear a watch::Nope.
Color you never wear::Orange, yellow, brown, purple, pink.
Color you wear at least once a week::Red, blue, black, white.
Something you wear everyday::Sneakers.
Do you wear make up everyday::Yep. Just a little though.
Make up essential::Eyeliner.
Most cherished piece of clothing::My shoes hehe.
You wouldn't be caught dead wearing::Anything skimpy or overly girly/flirty.
Do you wear belts::Yep. I made half of 'em. ;]
Do you wear hats::Not usually. Except Brad's, haha.
How many pairs of shoes do you have::I don't know.
** music **
Favorite kind of music::Rock/emo.
Least Favorite::Rap.
How many CD's do you have::Way too many. ;]
Last CD you bought::Spiderman 2.
Whats in your CD player right now::Underoath- They're Only Chasing Safety.
Do you download music::No. My computer doesn't let me. ;[
** Favorites **
Color::I don't really have one right now- I'm between phases. Blue?
Number::27. Heh.
Ice cream::Anything chocolate or mint.
Website::Mine, o'course. Hehe.
Quote::'Figure out what Christ would want, then do it.' Ephesians 5:10 [yes, that's the Bible..]
Store::I don't really have one.
Band::Dashboard Confessional.
Singer::Not sure. Chris Carabba, I s'pose- but that's the same as my favorite band, lol.
Rapper::I don't like rap.
Song::'Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape'- Underoath.
Movie::Pay It Forward.
Actor::Tom Hanks.
Actress::Um...I'm not sure.
Kind of movies::Chick flicks, lol.
Place to be::*shrugs* The beach?
Time of day::Afternoon.
Clothing Brand::*shrugs*
Animal::Dolphin, or cute cuddly things. So typical. ;]
Food::J'adore le gateau chocolat!
Holiday::My birthday, or Christmas.
Shape::I don't know. Star?
Restaraunt::Subway!!! Hehe.
Fast food place::[see above]
Boy's name::Um...Phoenix, maybe?
Girl's name::Um...Remy, I guess.
Word::Mangolicious, haha. Or idiotnacle.
Month::June! My birthday, plus the end of school.
Candy::Anything chocolate. Milky Ways?
** love and relationships **
Sexual Preference::Male. Duh.
Boyfriend or Girlfriend::I don't have one right now.
Crush::MK. Everyone knows that by now.
Do you believe in love at first sight::No.
What do you look for in a guy/girl::Intelligence, sense of humor, sensitivity..
Best physical feature::Eyes.
Best hair color::Medium-to-dark brown.
Best eye color::Blue. But I don't really care.
** randoms **
Do you paint your nails::About once every other month, lol.
What color is your tooth, blue, and silver.
What's on your desktop::A whole bunch of stuff.
Do you like roller coasters::Nope.
Do you do drugs::No way.
Are you a virgin::Yeah, I don't believe in premarital sex.
Do you have any pets::Yep, a li'l doggie.
What time do you go to sleep::About 11:15.

Basic Survey [ 87 questions] brought to you by BZOINK!
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goth or emo:They're both cool, but I'm emo, so I'll have to say that.
pimp or gangsta:What's the difference?..sorry, I'm out of it. ;] Sergei calls me 'Gangsta' so I guess that, haha.
corvette or limo:Not sure. Limo?
cd or cassatte:CD.
dvd or vcp:I don't know what VCP is, so DVD.
drums or gutair:I play the guitar, so..yeah.
cat or dog:Doggie.
cherios or luckey charms:Lucky Charms, haha.
night or day:Day...usually.
pink or red:Red.
black or white:Black.
backstreet boys or n*sync (lmao):BSB hahaha. I used to love them. No, seriously.
deit or regular:Diet's bad for you, so..regular.
tall or short:Tall.
skinny or fat:Skinny.
hand or foot:Hand.
loner or outsider:Outsider.
desktop or laptop:Desktop.
cd player or mp3:CD.
100 or 10000000000:100. I can't even pronounce that other number unless it has commas. ;]
math or history:History.
langaue or reading:Reading.
french or spanish:French.
dutch or polish:Dutch. ;]
pizza or chinnesse:Pizza!! I can't eat egg rolls anymore [meat] so I don't like Chinese as much.
mt dew or dr.pepper:Mountain Dew.
rap or rock:Rock.
pop or oldies:Oldies.
drive thru records or island records:Island.
football baseball:Um..not sure. Football, I guess.
pen or pencil:Pencil.
distortion or clean:Clean.
elf or fariy:Fairy.
comics or anime:Either..comics?
skateboard or bmx:Skateboard.
hot topic or hollister:Hot Topic.
american egeal or aeropostale:I've never been into American Eagle...but I think I like it better, from what I've seen on other people.
fye or bmg:I don't know what BMG is, so FYE.
taregt or wallmart:Never been into Target, but Wal-Mart isn't very good quality so...Target.
nicky or paris:I don't like either very much. Wait, who's Nicky?
barbie or ken:Ken!! Hahaha, inside joke...with myself...;]
car or truck:Car.
city or town or country:Town.
california or newyork:Never been to New York.
eyeliner or eye shadow:Eyeliner. I love eyeliner, haha.
food or drink:Food!!
janitor or bus driver:Um...not sure.
teacher or coach:Teacher.
tropical island or big city:Tropical island.
hearts or stars:Stars.
photos or paintings:Photos.
color or paint:Color.
eye or ears:Eye.
knife or fork or spoon:Spork!!! Hahahhahahaha.
bowl or plate:Bowl.
sandal or boot:Sandal.
aim or phone:AIM.
pager or phone:Phone.
e-mail or aim:AIM.

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Personal Information
First Name//:Robin.
Nickname(s)//:Too many to list, haha.
Hair Color//:Dark blonde.
Hair Style//:Long and straight.
Eye Color//:Bright blue to ice-blue.
What is your favorite
Color//:Not sure. Blue?
Song//:'Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape'- Underoath.
Music Video//:I don't know. That old Moby one was so adorable..with the little green dudes? ;]
Animal//:Dolphin/cuddly things.
Sport//:Not sure.
Country//:Also not sure- I've only been to two countries.
Movie//:Pay It Forward.
Food//:Chocolate cake hehe.
Best//:Not sure. So many awesome friends.
Coolest//:Not sure haha.
Kindest//:Also not sure lol.
Annoyingest//:Steph. Hahaahaha. I <3 you Stephie.
Dullest//:I don't know..
Stupidest//:That's mean! I can't say that.
Most Intelligent//:I don't know. Tiernan?
Athletic//:Um...Lauren, maybe. Or Gabby? Or Sarah. Not sure.
Boy(Girl)friend//:Not at the moment.
Are you in love right now//:No.
Do you have a crush//:Yes.
Do you have a stalker//:Hahahaha...mebbe. *sticks pinkie in corner of mouth*
Do you miss someone right now//:Sure.
What do you do
At school//:I pretend I'm interested when I'm really not.
At home//:I IM people.
Outside//:I think.
When you first wake up//:I..groan and cover my face with my quilt and wish I could go back to sleep.
What _____do you hate
Food//:Spinach, or meat.
Color//:I'm not sure...brown, maybe? Well, I like brown in some cases. I'm not sure, I guess- I like all colors.
Hair color//:*shrugs* Gray?
Tv show//:Um...I'm not sure.
Clothing style//:Slutty.
Movie//:Not sure.
Emotions Right Now
Are You Happy Right Now//:I guess. Sort of.
Sad//:A little. Don't ask me why- I don't know. ;]
Grumpy//:Not really.
Bored//:A little.
Have you ever
Made your own religion//:Um..not sure.
Written backwards//:O'course- on bus windows when it's rainy! It's fun, hehe. I'm pretty good at it.
Written your own magazine//:Yep hehe.
Drawn art//:Duh.
Got angry with a game//:Hahaha yes.
Played Lacrosse//:Um, only in school.
Broken a bone//:My toe and my nose [although that's cartilage, not bone].
Dyed your hair//:Nope, and I don't ever plan to.
Put in contacts for no reason//:No, I don't wear contacts and therefore don't know how to put them in.
Swam alone//:Sure.
Things that come to mind when you read...
Intelligentence//:You mean 'intelligence'? Which you obviously don't possess because you can't spell the word in the first place? Hehe, just kidding.
Gray//:Grey. [Hehe, Steph, the ongoing feud..]
Golf//:Golf club.
Soccer//:The honeycomb-like pattern on the ball.
Yellow//:Sunshine. *grins*
Socks//:Wool. [Wait, what? I don't wear wool socks!]
Random Questions
Play Sports, if so, what ones//:I don't play any sports.
Have a lot of friends//:Yeah.
Write good//:Hahaha. 'Write good'?
Eat a lot//:Yep.
Like the day Friday//:I like Saturday better, hehe.
Like the month December//:Yeah, 'cause of Christmas. ;]
Do you(or are you)
(DY)Give good advice//:I like to think so.
(DY)Talk crap//:Hrmm? No..?
(DY)Play a lot of games//:Not really.
(DY)Wear hats//:Not usually. 'Cept Brad's haha.
(DY)Like to be outside//:Sure.
(AY) Always mad//:No. It's pretty hard to make me mad, actually.
(AY) Always happy//:No...who is?
(AY) A good friend//:I'd like to think so.
This or that (Last questions)
Night or day//:Either- day?
Snow or Rain//:Um...either. Snow, I guess, but I still like rain a lot. ;]
Stars or the Moon//:Moon.
Ocean or Pool//:Ocean, duh.
Boat or Plane//:Boat. *shivers* I hate planes.
Books or Magazines//:Either's good, but I like books better.
Yu-Gi-Oh Cards or Pokemon Cards//:Pokemon!! Hehe, just kidding. Neither?
Blonde or Black Hair//:Hm...either. Black, I guess.
Green or Blue Eyes//:Blue.
Pants or Shorts//:Pants.
Pop or Rock//:Rock.
Punk or Emo//:Emo!! Hehe.
Tatoos or Piercings//:Piercings, I guess.
Necklace or Ring//:Necklace.
Clouds or No Clouds//:Clouds.
Art or Literature//:Either.
Jeans or Baggy Pants//:Either.
Singing or Dancing//:Singing.
March or May//:May.
Halloween or Christmas//:Christmas.
Coke or Pepsi//:Coke, but either's okay.
Hug or Kiss//:Hug from friends/family. Kiss from a boyfriend.

Everything About You Survey brought to you by BZOINK!
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Set a snake:Set? Um..don't know what that means.
Spend a week in an empty room:Yes.
Ride in a hot-air balloon:Yes.
Sky dive:Maybe.
Sing in front of a huge audience:I did that already. ;] So yes.
scuba dive:Probably not.
Sit in the front seat of a roller coaster:Possibly.
Deliver a baby:If I had to.
Swim across the Amazon River:I don't think I could.
Change careers:Sure.
Disappear for a long period of time:Um..?
Walk through the forest alone at night:Maybe.
Join a space mission:No.
Tell everyone what you honestly think of them:Maybe.
Call off your wedding:Um..depends on the reason why.
Walk naked through New York City for 10 minutes during rush hour:No! Haha.
Walk up to Mike Tyson and call him a girl:I don't know who Mike Tyson is. Isn't he a wrestler? I'm not sure.
Disarm a bomb:If I had to. But I don't know how. ;]
CLean the outside windows of a skyscraper:Probably not.
Draw a mustache on the Mona Lisa with a permanent marker:No!
Go on tour with Elvis:He's dead..? But if he were alive- yes.
Go swimming during a thunder storm:I've done that, haha. Maybe.
Preform surgury on your best friend:I wouldn't know how. ;] But if I had to, yes.

Measure Your Fears - Would You, Wouldn't You, You Did brought to you by BZOINK!
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Hair Color::Dark blonde.
Eye Color::Blue.
Shoe Size::11.
Color::Blue? Not sure.
Letter::Don't have one.
Animal::Dolphin/cuddly things.
Weather::Sunny or absolutely all-out pouring or snowing.
Band::Dashboard Confessional.
Artist::Not sure.
Singer::Not sure.
Drummer::Will! Haha.
Key boardist::I don't know.
Pianist::My daddy? Hehe.
Outgoing/Shy:A variant.
Depechemode/VnV Nation:I don't know, never heard of the second one.
Pantera/Cannable Corpse:Don't know.
Romantic/ a boyfriend? Romantic.
Loner/Popular:I don't know.
Quiet/Loud:A blend.
Some more...:_
Do you believe in god?:Yes.
Any Siblings?:Yes, one and a half, haha.
How old are they?:Ten and thirty.
Do you like humans?:What kind of question is that?
How about animals?:Sure.
Or crayons?:Yay!
B/f Or G/f?:I don't have a boyfriend right now. Obviously not a girlfriend.
Bi, Straight, Gay:Straight.
Are you single?:Yes.
Why or Why not?:Because I dumped 'my stalker'. Hehe.
Do you love them?:N/A.
Do they love you?:N/A.
Have a crush on someone?:Yes.
Have stupid pet names? or have you in tthe past?:No..
Have you ever....:_
Had Sex?:No.
Killed an animal?:Not that I know of. At least, not on purpose.
Gone Surfing?:No.
Gotten High?:No.
listened to a band you hated?:Yes.
Kiilled someone?:No.
but got caught?:N/A.
Bunge Jumped?:Nope.
Tried Suicide?:Of course not.
Read a very long book... (over 500pg's):Duh.
Kissed someone?:Besides family? No.
Told someone you loved them, but didn't mean it?:Yes.
Made out?:No.
Been called a freak?:Yes.
Are you one?:Hehe. Mebbe..
Had a pet?:Yes.
What was the pet?:Two dogs and a cat.
Do you...:_
Care about anyone?:Of course.
Love your enemies?:Yes.
Kill helpless animals?:No.
Go to parties every night?:No.
Hate posers?:No such thing as posers..
Beat others up because they are different?:Of course not.

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That's all for now..bye. ;]

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 5:10 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 2 August 2004 6:14 PM EDT
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Friday, 30 July 2004
. : + : . u n . n o u v e a u . c h a n s o n . : + : .
Eternal Sunshine's the name.

[verse 1]
And I'm not saying there aren't days
When it feels like all the sunshine's been forced out of my life.
And I'm not saying that sometimes I can't find my way
Some days, I just don't think it's inside me.

[bridge, version 1]
But then, I just look toward the sky

Whoa, oh
Somtimes, I don't think that You can hear me.
Whoa, oh
And sometimes, I wish that my actions couldn't be seen.
Whoa, oh
But then I realize, You wouldn't leave me behind.
Whoa, oh
For Lord, You're my eternal sunshine.

[verse 2]
There are those times in my life
When I let the storm clouds overpower me.
And there are days when all I want to do is lay down
And surrender to the rain.

[bridge, version 2]
But You bring me through my pain.

(chorus- 2x)

The words aren't very good- I think I need to start writing in metaphor again, like 'Open Flame' and 'Loss of Control'. But the tune's good.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 5:27 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 28 July 2004
. : + : . j u s t . a . s i d e n o t e . : + : .
Yesterday- dumped Ricky.
Today- day Jeff asked me out three years ago.
Tomorrow- day Jeff dumped me one year ago. MY FIRST EMO ANNIVERSARY!!!! So I can go cry and have a reason. Hahah.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 8:34 PM EDT
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. : + : . e . s o l t a n t o . h o . s a p u t o . d o v e . e r o. : + : .
Grr. Rrrrr.
Today my mom decided that I could walk around the mall alone while she went and returned stuff to Talbot's [her favorite pasttime]. So I went shoppin'- GAP, FYE, Five Below, Urban Outfitters, H&M, Borders...yep. And so it was starting to get late and I thought 'She should've called me by now to tell me she was ready to go..' so I walked out of Border's and flipped open my cell and it was like '4 NEW MEMOS' so I was like 'Uh-oh'. So I listened the first one- 'Robin? It's Mom. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! [etc.]'. And I was like 'Oh shoot.' and called her back and she was like freaking out. She had CALLED THE POLICE. I was like 'HELLO?! It's been ten minutes since we were supposed to meet!'. It was so messed up. And so she showed up at Border's with a policeman in tow and we went home. It was...grr. So now I have the freedom of a five-year old once again, just because MY CELL PHONE IS CRAP AND CHOOSES NOT TO WORK WHEN IT'S MOST IMPORTANT THAT IT DOES. *rolls eyes* Wooohoooo.
Anyway. I broke up with Ricky on Tuesday [yes, FINALLY] and I'm relieved. It's true- I never liked him one bit. Ever. Ever ever. But he likes me so much still, it's pathetic. He had his friend give me his phone number today. I was like 'Wait. Why is he giving me his number?' Doesn't he know I BROKE UP WITH HIM?! Doesn't he know that he's supposed to leave me alone because I am no longer his unhappy girlfriend? Muahahaha.
Sorry. I felt like doing that.'s my bedtime. And I need food and I need to write my prayer partner from the mission trip a thank-you note and I need to listen to my new CD [Spiderman 2- it had the new DC song on it]. So...g'night. I hope tomorrow's a better day for all of us.

Posted by crazy3/emocore027 at 8:32 PM EDT
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