Blonde


Q: Why do Blondes wear Pony-Tails?
A: To hide the Air Valve!

What's the difference between a blond and a brick?
When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around. 

How do you change a blondes mind? 
Blow in her ear. 

What do you call a blond with a dollar on her head? 
All you can eat under a buck. 

What is the similarity between a smart blond, Santa and the tooth fairy? 
They are all make believe. 

Why did the blond climb on the roof? 
She heard that drinks were on the house.

What do you call a blond with a half brain? 
Gifted. 

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
One... blondes will screw anything. 

 What is the difference between blondes and government bonds? 
Bonds mature blondes don't. 

How do you tell if a blonde is sexually satisfied?
Who cares. 

Why do blondes rub their eyes when they wake up?
They don't have balls to scratch. 

How are blondes and parking spaces alike? 
All the good ones are taken and the ones that are left are handicapped. 
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?  
Pull the pin and throw it back. 

What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? 
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.

How is a blonde different than a 747? 
Not everyone has been in a 747. 

How are a blondes like spaghetti? 
They squirm when you eat them. 

What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of a pool? 
An air bubble. 

What do you call 10 blondes in a row?
A wind tunnel. 

How do you drown a blonde? 
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool. 

Why is a blondes brain pea sized in the morning? 
It swelled. 

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial intelligence. 

What do a blonde and a screen door have in common?  The more you bang them the looser they get. 

Did you hear about the blonde who broke her arm? 
She was raking leaves when she fell out of the tree. 

What do turtles and blondes have in common? 
Once there on their back they're screwed. 

How is a blonde like a doorknob? 
Everybody gets a turn. 

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? 
Pregnant. 

What do blondes do in the morning? 
Get up and go home. 

What do blondes say in the morning? 
Who are you guys anyways. 

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? 
An interpreter 

Why did the blonde get fired from the m & m factory? 
She threw out all the ones with w's. 

What can strike a blonde without them even knowing A thought 

Why do blondes wear green lipstick? 
Red means stop. 

What is the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? 
You take your shoe's off before you get on a trampoline.
 
Why don't blondes like vibrators? 
 They're hard on their teeth.

A dumb blonde a smart blonde and Santa Claus jump off of a bridge, who makes the bigger splash?
 The dumb blonde because the others don't exist. 

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.