So there I was...
Wednesday, 21 April 2004
Haven't Updated in a While...
Well, I haven't written in a while, just haven't had the energy. But that doesn't mean crazy stuff hasn't been happening around here. It's not Crawford 307 if life isn't always interesting. Well, this past weekend rocked beyond all belief. Me and Dad went to the Sox game, and he was SO amped that I got tickets. Seeing his face when we sat down in our AWESOME seats and during the whole game...we were cheering and yelling and laughing and heckling the yankees...it was so great, completely worth all the money and trouble to get the tickets. We also went to his job site and I got to go up in the temporary personnel elevator outside the building (my dad is an ironworker), which was really really scary but also cool to get to go in a building during the process of it getting built. Can't say many people get that chance. Anyways, we went to Al Capone's Pizza on Broad Street for lunch, which was fun, as usual. Good times good times. Getting back to Norwich was a process...wasn't really sure if I wanted to come back...it's so close to the end of school and surgery and I'm just tired, I wanted to stay home and sleep for a year. But I came back and was instantly happy. The weekend home was just what I needed, and I got back to school and back into the flow. If I'd just stayed home I know I would've missed my roomates too much (P.S. MINDY WAS RIGHT, THE POOL WAS OPEN, YOU CORN-FED!!!). Hmm...what else??? Oh yeah!!! Ben came over, we watched part of a movie, and then went out to play football in the rain. Started out with four people, then there were like 15, it was awesome. Until the rain stopped. And the Norwich Security came. And the Northfield Police came. Good times. Anyways, classes are crazy as usual. Tests coming up, almost done with classes for the year, I can't even believe it. It'll be good to get done with classes, but this summer is gonna be so damn hard I'm scared for them to end. Well, better to just face stuff and get it over with than wait any longer than I have.
"To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart." (Donald Laird)
Thursday, 15 April 2004
Interesting day. Started out bad, ended up good...luckily. I started today at midnight, coming back from work at the library. I was filling in a shift for someone, 4 to 12. Meaning I had to miss the OC which really really did not work for me. Everyone was telling me how awesome of an episode it was...now I have to try and download it. Anyhoo. I was feeling like mierda (that's shit...for all you gringos) and was about to ask the boss if I could leave, when he comes to the desk and says goodbye, then leaves!!! So me and a girl who'd never closed the library before had to close the library, so I HAD to stay. Grrr. So I get back to my room at midnight, and I have a fever, pains in my kidneys and lungs...very not fun. I was really worried, and called my dad to talk about it, and he wanted to come get me and bring me home to get my sickyness treated right away, but luckily I was able to fend him off. Sometimes I think I'm doing the wrong thing by waiting, but I know I'm not, because I don't want people asking questions and me having to explain shit. Anyways, my fever broke, I'll be fine. I think the weekend home (starting TOMORROW!!!!!!) will be good for me. I just need my daddles...I don't have anyone here that I can really cry to about being sick, no one understands. I just need to go home, sit on our couch and cry with him. Even just talking to him on the phone or computer just makes my day better, and I'm so lucky to have him as a father. I just miss him. I'd never been homesick at all this year, my roomates have always made me feel at home, like I have people around that care about me. But they can't relate to this. I just miss being home, I guess...as Ben knows from my teary-eyed vent last night...I miss Mexican food, people who speak spanish, people who don't pronounce their r's...I miss my dance group, Boston, driving my truck, seeing New Hampshire lisence plates. But mostly I miss having my dad come home every afternoon. It's hard to go from seeing someone everyday your entire life (except for six months in Spain) to never seeing them. I don't know. It'll be nice to have the weekend with my dad. Friday night, me and Javi are meeting some friends at La Casa...good Latin food and dancing. Then Saturday, me and Daddles are going to do our traditional Al Capone's on Broad Street then sitting on Rowe's wharf and eating Pizza and watching the planes take off and land at Logan. THEN we're going to a Sox game, which is going to rock beyond all belief...I can't wait. Then Saturday night, me and JoAnn are gonna go see a movie at the Loop then go to the Palace. And Sunday, to end a wonderful weekend, me and my awesome awesome brother are gonna go out to lunch together. It's going to be so wonderful and just what I need to get some spirit back into me. It'll be great. Anyhoo!!! Oh yeah, and those Western Union bastards who wouldn't release my money to the people in MO because they're in MO and not NH (which is the whole POINT in sending money...cause they're in a different state!!!), they didn't win. The lady is sending me the tickets anyways, cause she trusts me, which really freaking rocks, dude. SO this day ended well. Oh oh oh oh PLUS...I went to a party and my Spanish teacher's house with the class. I thought it was going to be really lame, but it was really really fun. A few of us got there early and we were cooking and laughing and listening to music...then the rest came and we ate and were laughing and listening to music...then we went and had a bonfire and were laughing and telling ghost stories (chupacabra...la llorona...palabra hehehe). I honestly had so much fun, it was nice to just be in a big group of people laughing and stuff, we were talking and joking around and it was like being at a weird ass family function of mine. It was also cool cause half the people in my Spanish class are hispanic, so it was nice to hear Spanish and jokes about the Hispanic culture and stuff, cause I miss that. Anyways, I'm off. Some rest will do me good so I can get up bright and early for my Chem class. Happy happy. Anyways, g'night all.
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." (Mahatma Gandhi)
Monday, 12 April 2004
You know what I accomplished today??? Well first, I slept until 2 p.m. so I ended up skipping all of my classes, which is always productive. Then I went for a walk with Jenn and I found a sanctuary here in Vermont. I can't tell you where it is, cause then it wouldn't be my sanctuary where I can get away from things, but let me tell you, it's pretty darn peaceful. It'll be so awesome to just sit and think and stuff. Yay. So that was pretty productive. I can't wait to go home this weekend...go to some fun clubs, eat some good Mexican food, and hang out with my dad, most importantly. How awesome of a suprise for my dad is two tickets to a Red Sox-Yankees game at Fenway??? It'll be awesome. It's sad cause my favorite player, Trot Nixon, won't be playing, but it's all good. Anyways, I need to get some sleep now so I don't sleep through my classes tomorrow.
P.S. I'm writing something about Pete here in my journal, cause I got a complaint that I don't mention him at all.
"There is no hope without fear nor fear without hope." (Spinoza)
Sunday, 11 April 2004
I Need More Title Ideas
I need more title ideas, cause mostly I just want to write "Sometimes I wonder...". I find myself wondering a lot lately, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I had a great spiritual and emotional cleansing last night at my Great Aunt Roz's. We talked for a long time, had a good cry, plenty of good laughs. I always love going to her house because she helps instill in me the dreams of my childhood again, she helps revitalize my outlook on life. Lately, I've been down and she's helped me a lot. I hope SO much to be like her when I get older. Roz has taught me so much. I hope I can do half as much for someone else someday as she's done for me, then I will consider my life a success. Speaking of being successful...guess what visiting Roz has done for me??? It's renewed my dream to go back to Uganda one day, as a nurse this time. And unlike a lot of people, she has supported the fact that maybe I just won't get married. Anyhoo, now I'm back at Norwich, where life is complicated and confusing, but what would life be without all the ups and downs??? It'd be pretty boring. Well, I'm chatting with some close friends, new and old, so I'm going to end this.
"The days are too short even for love; how can there be enough time for quarreling?" (Margaret Gatty)
Thursday, 8 April 2004
Don't Mess with Crawford 307.
All that I have to say is don't mess with any of the Crawford 307 girls, and I'm sure the fifth floor of Hawkins would agree. Let me tell you, we are tight shiznit and back each other up to the fullest, be it immediately or sometime in the near future. Woo!!! Gotta love having the type of roomates that make you want to do anything for them.
"Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is progress." (Henry Ford)...I would say that we're sucessful.
P.S. Mad props to Big Dawg, our protector, Pete.
Wednesday, 7 April 2004
Balls Deep in a Computer Lab
Okay, so I'm sitting here at the Webb Computer Lab waiting for the Play Dress Rehearsal to begin. Me and my roomie, Mindy, are sitting next to each other. And having a conversation online. Wow. Fun times. The funniest thing about computer labs is listening to other people's conversations, especially phone ones. They are really boring, and funny. This guy is so monotone and talking about such boring things that if I was on the other side of the conversation I'd probably fall asleep. Anyhoo...life is wonderful. I've been feeling worse and worse lately, but that's to be expected I guess. I'll just keep on keeping on until the summer and Dr. Chabner hooks me up with a miracle cure or something. Anyhoo (again)...good news about my Precalc class...We have an extra test not in the syllabus. I know you're thinking "dude...how is an extra math test good???", but if I do good on the test, the quizzes, and the final, I could pass the class and not have to retake it. Which is VERY VERY good. PLUS, class was cancelled for Thursday so I get an extra day to slack off before I have to start the real work, which is always fun. So there I was..balls deep in sitting next to my roomate who's screwing with her boyfriend's head online. They're sitting a row apart and typing things and laughing and stuff. How boring is this school that this is the only form of entertainment we have??? LOL. I love it. Now onto other things, Friday I'm going to Roz's, I can't wait!!! I really need to talk to her, about life and changes and relationships and all that good stuff. She gives the best advice, she's so awesome. Mindy and Cassie met her and loved her. I wanted Kelly to come this weekend, but she doesn't want to. Kind of stinks, but hey, what can you do??? I'm not gonna force her. Well, I must be off. Places to be, things to do.
"When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take...choose the bolder." (W.J. Slim)
Monday, 5 April 2004
Drama Drama Drama
Like the title says...drama drama drama. Luckily it's resolved. Resolved drama is so much more fun than unresolved drama. Anyways, took a walk today with someone I thought I'd never speak to again. It was kind of weird. He didn't give off any signals that he thought it was weird. But all the times I talked to him (minus fights) we always has so much fun talking, and it was kind of inanimate and forced today, I dunno. I don't altogether trust him, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same towards me, so I don't know what's going to come of it. I just need to go home and see my dad. I miss him. Can't wait until the 17th...I have the BEST suprise for him, it's going to ROCK!!!!!! I can't wait, but I have to. It's all good. Hmm...what else can I write??? I'm tired, I don't feel well, what else is new??? Not much. Oh yeah, my trip to Bolivia is pretty much guaranteed to be freaking cancelled. I have to have surgery and my doctor doesn't want me going to an underdeveloped country with my immune system the way it is, and I might end up having to have the surgery when I'm scheduled to be in Bolivia. *sigh* I really wanted to go, too. But there's always next summer. This summer is going to be crazy...one of those ultimate learning experiences kind of summers. I can't wait for it to start. The future's uncertain. I wish it would just get here and get certain. I dunno though, sometimes the not knowing is better than the knowing. Who knows??? Not me. Anyhoo, I'm not making any sense, and if it's not making any sense to me, it's not helping me any so I'm just going to end this and go to sleep.
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life and that word is love." (Sophocles)
Sunday, 4 April 2004
Sundays are nice...especially when you wake up at 4:30...pm!!! So, I've gotten through a rough day, and I must say, it was hard but I think I dealt with it much better than I thought. I was able to have a few laughs through the tears...all I have to say is thank God for the DREAM kids, they always cheer my mood up considerably. So Friday night me and my buddies went to the Battle of the Sexes at school...of course, the girls won!!! There were three rounds...we kicked their asses twice and tied once. I was up on stage the time they tied, which sucks. I knew most of the answers on the freaking rounds I wasn't up there, but when I was up there...I didn't know ANYTHING!!! But it was alright...me and my friends had a lot of fun...all I have to say is that I have one of the greatest group of friends at Norwich, if not THE greatest. Saturday was fun...I slept real late, went to work...ended up working with my friend Brian who is super hilareous, so he kept me laughing the whole time, and hung out with Herman and Swayze later in the night. My roomates were both gone Saturday night...the alone time was nice for a bit, but I couldn't fall asleep for a while cause they weren't there. Sadness. Anyways, now it's Sunday...me and Kelly had fun at chow, joking around as usual, and pointing out people EVERY TIME SHE SAW THEM!!! It was funny cause it got me all flustered. Anyways, soon Mindy and Raf'll be back, and then a DREAM meeting. Good ending to a weekend that started out a bit depressing. *Sigh* Life sucks sometimes, but overall, it's pretty good.
"People who laugh actuall live longer than those who don't laugh. Few persons realize that health actually varies according to the amount of laughter." (James J. Walsh)
Friday, 2 April 2004
I thought of you with love today,
but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday,
and the day before that, too.
I think of you in silence,
I often say your name,
But all I have is memories
and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake,
with which I'll never part.
God has you in his keeping,
I have you in my heart.
I shed tears for what might have been,
a million times I've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
in death I love you still,
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
but you didn't go alone,
For part of me went with you,
the day God took you home.
SPC Mathew Boule, U.S. Army
12/07/80 to 04/02/03
Operation Iraqi Freedom
Thursday, 1 April 2004
Jesus H. Christ, sometimes I wish people knew exactly what was wrong with me so that when I say that I don't feel well, they'd know that I don't just have a fucking headache and I'm not a lazy ass, that I'm really fucking sick and all I want to do is to just freaking lay here and die. Maybe if I tell everyone what's really going on, they'll just look at me like I'm a freak and finally leave me alone. Or worse, they'd freaking give me their useless pity. Fuck pity, I'd rather sit here and everyone think I'm a bitch than pity my situation.
"Every person you meet knows something you don't. Learn from them." (H. Jackson Brown)
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