Those quotes are from many different people that I consider my friends. Yeah..
Me: Byness!
Hunter: Jena-Malonish, haha!
Me: Tom Felton ice-skates!
Samantha: He does?!
Sam: I think Tom Felton is going to be at the same fishing place as I am.
Me: Then you could go up and say "Hi, I am Samantha. I love you so much!"
(I called Samantha's boyfriend and got his voicemail)
Eric: Uh, I can't talk to you right now, but, uh, if you leave a message, uh, I'll get back, uh, to you. Uh, okay, Bye. (beep)
Me: SAMANTHA WANTS YOU TO CALL HER RIGHT NOW. (hangs up)
(I called Samantha)
Me: Hi. (I press the laughing smiley. It was an online TTY)
Samantha: HAHAHA! (hangs up)
(Samantha goes online)
Sam: That operator sounded like he was Spanish.
Me: sawx
Sam: sawx?
Me: Our new word - sawx.
Sam: Sawx - Southern Sex.
Cicale: STOP POISONING YOUR CLASS WITH LIES! (to Tom Schramm)
(My interpreter Tina signs German, but mouths Japan)
Me: Is it Germany or Japan?
Tina: What?
Me: IS IT GERMANY OR JAPAN?!
Tina: Oh. Japan. What did I do wrong?
Me: You signed Germany.
Tina: I'm slow.
Me: I know.
(Another interpreter, Annamarie and I were talking about some SS teacher at the middle school.)
Annamarie: Now I see why Arielle didn't like DeMatto
Me: Why?
Annamarie: He doesn't accept shit.
Me: (gasps) you cursed!
Me: Do anything annoy you?
Annamarie: No.
Me: (hitting her foot) Not this?
Annamarie: No.
Me: (squeezing her knee) This?
Annamarie: No.
Me: Then what annoys you?
Annamarie: Nothing.
Annamarie: Today Marissa told me to stop dancing in the hallway. She never said that before.
Me: I told you, sooner or later, she'll tell you that.
Annamarie: Well, that's okay. Next year, I'll dance in the hallway and she won't tell me to stop.
Me: That would mean you'd be dancing at the High School.
Annamarie: Yep!
(So if you see a psycho woman dancing in the hallway, it's probably her.)
Kim: Mr. Cicale, if you're a guy and you take steroids, does it shrink, you know, your junk?
Cicale: Junk?
Kim: Yeah, you know..down there.
Cicale: OH, uh, well, yeah.
Kim: Whoa, really..?
(My ASL 2 class have recently discovered the sign for lesbian sex. One girl, Monique miss the conversation and ask me what it means.)
Monique: Rach, what does this sign mean? (Does the sign)
Me (In a straight tone): Lesbian sex.
Monique: OH, SHIT!
Mike: You know, when we go back to school Tuesday, we shouldn't talk about what we will do on Sunday to Monique.
Me: Oh, I know..If she asks, I'll just say "I did something else with people that I call my friends."
Me: And Monique..
Jess: Don't say that name ever again.
Me: Okay. So the girl that is in my ASL class who is really annoying said..
Jess: Oh, boy..
(For some reason, I was soo hyper)
Me: You're the fucking devil!
Jess: I am?
Me: Yeah, and..Audrey's the devil's bitch! (Making no sense whatsoever)
Jess: That would mean Audrey would be my bitch.
Me: Oh, right..(A moment later) OH, EW!
(Two days later)
Me: You're a meanie (After Jess joked with me)
Jess: I know. I am the fucking devil, remember?
(Anthony is my two year old Nephew..)
Me (jokingly): I'll bite you!
Anthony: NO! ::runs away::
(He comes back and bites me on the arm and runs away)
Me: Oh, thanks, Anthony!
(I walk over to my sister)
Me: Your son bit me.
(My ANOTHER nephew, Michael, who is only 9 months..)
Me: RENEE! RENEE!
Renee: What?
Me: Michael threw up on me!
Renee: Well, that's what you get for tossing the baby around..
(I'm playing with Michael and playing with him by 'tossing him')
Mom: Rachel! He is NOT a doll!
Me: Renee! Happy birthday!
Renee: It's not my birthday..
Me: Consider this a late birthday present.
(I hand over the baby to her, and the baby, well, you know, went number 2)
Renee: Oh, thanks. It's the perfect gift!
Sam: If I marry Eric - and if we have boys as our children - he wants to call all of them Eric.
Me: That'd be bad.
Sam: I know. If I say "Eric!" - like 10 are gonna answer "WHAT?!"
(I'm making fun of Sam and her boyfriend, Eric when they are grandparents)
Eric: So you know how I got your grandmother to marry me..
Eric the 2nd: Grandpa. Did you molest Grandma?
Eric: Of course not!
Eric the 22nd: Ga Goo Goo Ga?
Eric: What did he say?
Erica the 5th: He said you are a rapist.
Sam's reply: rofl..
Sam: omg...I so want a cold cut sub from Subway right now soooo bad
Me: that was..random.
Sam: BUT I DO!
(Sam and I were talking about Wizard of Oz)
Sam: Where does the purple brick road go to?
Me: I don't know..
Me: I love WOO!
Sam: WOO?
Me: Wizard of Oz.
Me: Toot toot! (copying the tin man)
Sam: You're weird.
Sam: FLYING MONKEYS.
Me: Lions, Tigers and Bears, OH MY!
Sam: he [Eric] made fun of me because I named one of the birds Ashley
Me: Oo..
Sam: but...all of your kids....Eric?... I think that's worse than one bird.
Me: Prolly.
Sam: lol, prolly.
Me: What?
Sam: I dunno, lol.
