see, the posts with lots of pictures make up for those lonely days where you have to look at the old ones 3 or 4 times.
error at airport
hacker condom
safe sex, aviod those virus'
when spooning seems so far away nice
you know this is the funniest pic you've ever seen
twins
let's play a game, see if anyone can gross me out.
aim: santa forgot you email: scott@halfhonk.com
thanks to nion for some of those amazing pics.
- scott
Wednesday, July 9
five finalists. some boys, a lesbian, and some more boobs. nice. i like how they have been bribing me on the instant messenger like its my decision. well hey, pretend it is. guys, send me nude pics of ladies, and ladies, go grab a digital camera. and now for some bathroom humor.
you god damn girls need to stop telling us to watch our aim when we piss - i mean it's hard enough, and half the time we have erections so therefore we can't quite aim it down there that well, so you need to either get some butt plugs or just sit on those seats a little tighter. seatbelt maybe? i think so. - scott
Tuesday, July 8
For round one of the Halfhonk Idol contest, here are the five finalists:
David, John, Josh, Manis, Melinda
The next round will have each person post and then you guys will decide who you like the best. This will begin sometime next week. Stay tuned! - halfhonk
my vote goes out to tom, because discovering pictures and shit that haven't been posted is a fucking task. and i'm not very good in that category. anyways, how about come cartoons? yeah bitch.
that should tie you over for about 10 minutes. untill then, masturbate. if bored, repeat. - scott
Saturday, June 28
The following is a list of 12 people, along with their reasons, who want to post at Halfhonk.com.
You, the fans, get to vote. Here are the simple rules (if you don't follow them, I will throw away your vote!):
Read each person's reason below. Pick one person for whom you'd like to see post at Halfhonk.com. Then, e-mail me (address is on the left sidebar) your vote. Include "Vote: [Person's name]" in the subject line and NOTHING in the body.
So, if you wanted to vote for Dickhead (this is just an example kids, there is no "Dickhead" contestant), you would put this in your subject line Vote: Dickhead
Other important rules/notes: 1. Voting will end Friday, July 4th at 11:30 p.m. ET. 2. One e-mail (which is 1 vote) per person. Don't fuck around, or I'll throw your votes away. 3. This is only the first round. The six contestants with the most votes will go onto the next round. 4. Don't IM me with questions. If you have a real question, read the rules 3 more times and then e-mail me. I get over 100 e-mails a day, so keep it short!
Remember that I'm doing this for you guys -- the fans. Unfortunately my schedule does not have nearly enough time in it, so I cannot post on this site like I want to.
[All e-mails have been shortened, at my discretion, to keep the answers short. If you don't like it, oh well!]
Dave: Because i am also a half honk and i also have a website www.magicalcoffeebeans.tk. i am good with html and css and java script.
Drew: Because I've got the time to dedicate, I'm on at least 5 hours a day... And I know a thing or to about humor..
John: Because of bordom and access time on my hands. I have plenty of stories to tell and can come up with some pretty funny shit. I'm sick with web design and imaging. I can do anything you need me to do, I'm 15 with no job so availability isn't a problem. I love the site and would have alot of fun working on it.
Josh: I hope I can do my best if I work for you. I have some access to Asian E/N so I can make that a special detail other blogs might not have as fast. HIRE ME
Tom: i am devoted to making people laugh. it is the only time i am happy. i also have a knack for discovering humorous pictures and links that have never been posted on any site before, as well as coming up with creative and fresh ideas.
David: I am fluent with PERL, HTML, JAVA, UNIX, LINUX, MAC, WIN, and FLASH. I am looking forward to writing on the site as I would like to see more updates on it and I understand that both you and Scott are busy guys. if you want I can forward you a resume
Fire: I am a loyal half honk fan and feel i would do a good job working for you.
Melinda: I'd work for ya because I've nothing better to do... actually, I do, I'm just too damn lazy. Besides, everyone loves a lesbian, no?
Vic: I could post daily...i used to do that website stuff like a year ago...i been wantin to get back into it and your site is just nuts. i miss bein popular on the net =[
Oplix: Why you say? Because its meeeee......oplix! haha. ok.
Cheesy: Fan of site. Witty. Experienced. Funny. Did I mention experienced? Need I say more?
Manis: My endless credentials include sitting on my ass, working at target(i'm surrounded by stupid people there), terrorizing people with the guys, and also my endless knowledge of the female species. hell i could get an awesome advice column going..halfhonk style. oh ya i can just see it now. - halfhonk
HALFHONK IDOL: Coming soon!
- halfhonk
Saturday, June 21
ughicklefuckneckville. miss me? i got a picture or twentytwo, you might enjoy...
martha martha martha
that's a damn good paint job, yes?
i'd be scared to go there
look at those clouds. it's a miracle. or a photoshop creation.
notice the blondes are having some trouble
mmmmm
how could you possibly be any dumber?
i got about 50 of those under my bed. i also have a 3rd leg.
don't let that happen to you
got teeth?
you'd be the next tiger woods
i wonder what bill thinks?
it's getting hott in herrr
that's what my pubic region looks like
you don't need a sign for me to do that
i'm not sure what people are thinking when they make those
where do i apply?
and we make fun of football players?
mmmmm
well folks, i hope you enjoyed these fotos. i am planning on posting a lot more now that i don't have a life. wait, i mean i do have one, and that's why i'm not posting. but i will be. much love to you all, even you racists, you gym teachers, harry potter fans, star trek fanatics and kids with mullets.
p.s. i have noticed from guestbook, a few ims, etc., that a few people are " angry " about the site. first of all, if you dislike it, don't visit it. if you don't like a certain band, a certain radio station, then stop listening to the band or change the fucking station. if you don't like my " humor ", then don't laugh. don't come to the site. those who do enjoy it, continue. the site isn't the same as it was. it's changed - accept the change. - scott
TiftonMafia: what the fuck ever. you acting like a pathetic little brat, go find another site and fuck it up
well, hmm. i don't know what to say, but comments like these are recieved quite often. i'll admit it - i don't post that much anymore. yes, you obviously all know this as some of you still occasionally visit the site. i have lost modivation and desire to post here as all i seem to get in return are negative comments about now i ' fucked up the site ' or how i am not funny. of course i am not chris duffy, but accept the site for what it is now. chris is busy with school, work, etc,etc. i'm not that busy, i just don't care anymore. i know i fucked up the site. it used to be great, my favorite site. i had a responsability and obligation to this site in which i can no longer hold. i apologize to you fans, and especially to chris, who had higher hopes for me. someone modivate me. nude pictures would help. damn, i can probably get in trouble for saying that. words of encouragement maybe? fan signs, if you guys are out there.
haha, by the way, have you ever been to www.myfirsttime.com? check this out:
" It's kinda funny how sometimes a guy can be just as victimized as any girl can. I admit, my first time was something I figured would happen eventually, but it wasn't something I wanted to actually do with the girl I was with. My girlfriend and I had been dating for a little over 6 months. I had had great success with fingering, eating her out, etc.etc. You name it, she loved it. I really didn't want to have sex with her though. I wasn't in love with her, and to tell the truth, she wasn't that attractive to me. She was an emotional leech with a lot of mental problems, and I couldn't seem to get up the courage to get rid of her. Sadly, even though she constantly had orgasms whenever we were together, she still wanted to have sex with me. I put her off for as long as possible. I made excuses why it wasn't a good time, ate her out instead, fingered her. Hell, I even faked my parents coming home so I wouldn't have to take my clothes off. One day, fate wanted to play a little joke on me. I went over to her house to watch a movie, which I knew would eventually end up with her wanting to make out instead. I mean geez! Can't a guy watch Predator without getting his bones jumped!? Anyway, we were watching the movie when her parents announced that they were going to a volleyball game with her little sister. They said they would be back in about an hour or two. Her parents trusted me, and probably didn't realize they had a nympho for a daughter. Of course, the they left Jackie (not real name) jumped me. We ended up making out for awhile, but when she began to take off my clothes, I became a little worried. Jackie was not the kind of girl who could give good head, and she tended to use her teeth a lot. Because of that, I had told her she never had to give me a blowjob again. Since she sucked at handjobs too, there wasn't much of a reason for her to be taking off my pants. That is, until she pulled a box of condoms out from under her couch. She grinned, and said she wanted me to fuck her. Silently, I shouted, "SHIT!" and considered my options. I knew she would break up with me if I flat out refused to touch her, and I knew she wouldn't be put off this time. She made the situation worse when she took off my boxers and started to put on the condom for me. Like I said, not much of a choice. While a girl couldn't actually rape me, I would say that this might be as close as a guy could to being sexually assaulted by his girlfriend. She sat back on the couch, pulled me on top of her, and just about crushed my lower body with repeated pelvic thrusts as she tried to get me into her. I got the message, and slowly (or should it be reluctantly) inserted my dick into her. Jackie was a virgin as well, so I took my time. About halfway into her, she got this look of pain on her face, and for a moment of hope, I thought she was going to tell me to stop. Yeah, right. Instead, she grabbed my ass and rammed me all the way into her. I guess she didn't like the slow approach. I have to admit, I didn't last very long, considering that I hadn't come in like 3 weeks. About 2 min. after I stated pumping into her, I came inside of her. After I removed the first condom, she wanted to do it again, but it took me about 10 min. to get hard again. This time, I surprised the shit out of myself by having sex for about an hour with her. I was on top for the first half-hour, and then she got on top of me. I thought that the girl was supposed to do all the work on top, but apparently I was wrong as she ordered me to somehow lift her off of my body while banging her at the same time. Lots of fun for her, and I have to admit, my abs got quite a workout. She finally told me to stop, saying that she was sore from comming so many times. I couldn't continue either because of a really bad cramp in both of my legs from bouncing her up and down for half and hour. Eventually she used some baby lotion and managed to get me to come that time. We had sex a few more times after that day, but they were hurried and meaningless. She dumped me for her best friend about 2 months later, and then dumped him for some other guy. Apparently she's some kind of slut now. Go figure. That was my first time. Not especially fantastic, but memorable. Sorry about the sarcasm and the bad jokes. Hope everyone enjoyed reading this. Maybe someone should make a website for the first time a person has good sex! I'll write in when that finally happens. Anyways, thanks for listening. Later."
amazing story. - scott
Tuesday, May 20
holy hell, i haven't been here in forever. let's see, we got the band doing lots of stuff, we have the end of the year with finals here, and of course, to top it all off, my computer crashes with a loss of anything halfhonk related i could possibly have. be patient, i'm working on it. looks like chris is hiring, so everyone e-mail him as this is a great fun job, just takes time. anyone who wants to chatty feel free to im me at santa forgot you, and, yup. spanks for hangin' there kiddos - scott
Monday, April 28
See, people do still enjoy the site!
From: Raspil raspil@hotmail.com Sent: Sunday, April 27, 2003 11:58 PM To: halfhonk@halfhonk.com Subject: hey there
i have been a fan of halfhonk for a while now and i wanted to thank you for having the site up for us all to enjoy. it's one of my favorites -- never fails to make me laugh. that can be hard to do sometimes.
thanks again, Raspil
WANT TO WORK FOR HALFHONK.COM? Send me an e-mail with why I should pick you and we'll talk. - halfhonk
dang, that kid started earlier than anyone
wow, i have been busy as a trucker mother. the new band is goin well, and you should download one of our mp3s here! im me at santa forgot you and tell me what you think. maybe i'll hookcha up with a cd. anyways, i am just basically here to ramble and be cool but i'm not good at the second one so i will stop. night - scott
fan a (5:59:10 PM): hey, so my whole class loved your halfhonk today santa forgot you (5:59:44 PM): :-) santa forgot you (5:59:47 PM): tell me about while i brb fan a (6:00:32 PM): i just had nothing to do in class so i sat there and put in your website and it attracted like, everyone, even the teacher was laughing santa forgot you (6:00:41 PM): hahahaha santa forgot you (6:00:43 PM): thats fucking awesome fan a (6:00:47 PM): lol fan a (6:00:47 PM): yeah fan a (6:01:05 PM): her favorite was that girl w/bush's face fan a (6:01:10 PM): because she wants bush to die santa forgot you (6:01:17 PM): lol fan a (6:01:23 PM): it was cool santa forgot you (6:04:05 PM): that makes me want to be a better person
so i guess people still like my posts after all. damn, i thought it was basically a downfall into hell and deeper into another dimension that makes hell look like wonka land - i was wrong? hopefully. how about some pictures? yeh? yess scotty, we want some pictorals.
enjoy those mofos, and also, if you're interested in indulging yourself in some of my bands musica, im me at santa forgot you <3 - scott
