recently i lost 6 of my bestfriends and i have no fuckin idea why. They all juss turned on me in 1 day. Thats wack. and then i was down and i meet a great guy named mike and we went out for bout 2 weeks and that was awesome and then he ended it cause of fuckin family problems. after that i became depressed again and juss sat in a slump. then bout 4 weeks ago i meet this wonderful guy name Tye from a student chat center and we instantly clicked. He tought me how 2 b myself he tought me how not 2 b afraid and most of all he tought me how 2 love. He lives in washington and i live in florida 2,800 miles away. Yea u all may think that is a long way but for love we will do n e thing. He's the one that got me writing peotry. I had never thought bout writing it or reading it until i meet him and heres a sad and depressing poem i wrote bout my feelings:
**i search deep within
through the pain and sorrow
lookin for that one ray of hope
no where 2 b found in a heart that is torn
so many tears yet not enough smiles
betrayals and lies have become familiar 2 me
hateful words that pierce my heart
not enough love 2 fill this empty hole
from all this tourture and hurt
i can never b the same
frm somewhere deep down inside
a light switch has been turned on
i try 2 think of the happy days
but no matter how hard i try 2 look
there seem 2 b no happy memories
i look back on the hurt and torture
and begin 2 tear ^ no matter wat ppl say
nothing will ever b the same or how it use 2 b
i wish i didnt have 2 live thro this hurt and sorrow
i am and i will always have a empty shattered heart
one day i will stand here strong and bold and a diff person
as of 2 day i am weak and still in a slump frm the pain that aches my heart.
-Taylor-
heres another poem that i wrote but its bout me and his love:
**Dreams
as im laying on the beach
dreaming of you and me
in eachothers arms gazing
@ one another
juss being there with you
makes me feel complete
nothing makes me happier
than 2 c a smile on ur face
and nothing makes me happier
in the world than u do baby
although its only a dream
very soon that will b us
on that beach 2 gether
expressing our love 2 one another
only this time it wont b a dream
dont lose Faith in your dreams
for one day soon those dreams
will become reality
everything i look at reminds me of u
your such a huge part of me baby
as i sit here every second of every day
i day dream about you
but in the end i just long for you even more
no matter how much i want you or how much it hurts
i will never leave u baby no matter what
im here 2 stay for good
~Tay Bray~
7/28/03