mitchell sucks n not in a good
The TRUE Crzy House Night Before Christmas

wuz the night b 4 xmas when all through the swamp
not a creature was stirring not even a dumbazz chickenpluckin goatfucker like mitchell

the socks were hung by the window with care
in case someone wanted to wear them someday

the rents were asleep in their bed while watchin tv
while i played nintendo an listen to lancies CD

then i leave out a whole bunch of shit
cuz its stupid and boring like mitch

when out on the porch i heard a big crash
then a scream as something fell in the swamp with a splash

i knew it would crawl out sooner or later
or wind up as bait for a big ole gater

it crawled up the bushes all whiney and bitchy
i knew in a flash that it must be mitchey

he wuz nakid an hairy an fugly as hell
an i laffed when i saw him in spite of myself


then up on the porch i heard up on the roof
the prancing and pawing of little hoofs

wtf i yelled
u brought ur fucking goats
(an i mean that literally)


he was dressed all in fur an smelled like junky
no wait that wuz't fur
hes just so hairy he looks like a monkey

his eyes were all beady his bald head it twinkled
i nicknamed him dinky cuz it was shrivled an wrinkled


i said "git ur goats an get off my grass
or im gonna bust a cap in ur ass"

he turned like a jerk afraid now to linger
then waved at me an i flipped him the finger

he sprang to his truck,
to his goats gave a whistle,
and away they all went
like a fucking redneck in a truck full of goats

"merry christmas" he yelled "to all near or far
youve been so good this year jeremy
you can have the slutty rawk star