well today was a pretty good day! it was fun auctually. made my day good to hera that john was ok. he called at 4 this morning and talked to his mom. im glad he did he needed to talk to her! i miss him more than life it self! we have been together since the 4th of june! almost 2 months it dont even seem like that though! i have liked him for almost 3 years now! he said he has liked me just as long i wish i would have found out a long time ago! but we are together now and that is all that matters... :D but anyways things arent't going so well for my family my mom has just notified me that my real father is wnting to meet me but i am unsure on how to take it. i dont know if i wnt to meet him or not! i have searched for him for a very long time and now that he is found and wants to meet me also i am not sure on how to take it. i know i have alot of people that care about me but no one to really understand how im feeling. my dad has not said one word to me since i was 2 years old. i am not sure if he has tried to find me or not but i know he has not contacted me for almost 15 years. i love my mom to death but she is having it ruff trying to cope with her and her b/f's break up they have been together since i was 2 years old. well since we moved from st. louis. i love him dearly he is the father i have known all my life. he means alot to me but he has caused my mom alot of heart aches. i know she loves him we all do. but she needs to recognize that he has moved on. but my sister just got out of jail and my brother did too and my mom said that they have not changed not one bit they are still acting the same as they were before they ever went in. i think they need to grow up and be adults and act like their age! they have caused my mom enough heart aches. i know i am not the perfect child but i am finsihing school and i plan to go to college. my sister has nothing to look foward to besides prison if she doesn't change her ways. and my brother is no different. he is very smart and has a very good head on his shoulders but he is still trying to act like a 12 year old and go out and get in trouble. he says he isnt going to pay his court fees so he can go back to jail because he says he has nothing to look foward to but he is wrong. he knows he has something to look foward to but he has ssen my stepdad and my sis go down hill and he thinks of nothing but bad stuff now. i love my family to daeth but they seem like they try to bring me down with them. everytime they have a problem they run from it and i am tired of running all the time. i would like to have a family one day! i know how it is to not have a mother well a loving mother at that! she is my mom and i love her to death but she needs to recognize that i am alomost an adult and i can make decisions for my self now i am not a child anymore i grew up when she quit being a mother to me, when i had to learn for my self how to cook and clean! since she was too wrapped up in a man that gave 2 shits about her. but she has made her decision and i have too. she can go on with her life with or with out me. i guess i have written wnough for tonight. nite all jennifer robertson i, luv birdy!!