mood ; // ii dont noe what to do .. =\

g0d.. i told you jean.. it DOES seem liike he doesnt care.. and it hurts to noe.. was this all a waste??.. was it .. y0u sey y0u love me.. but do y0u mean it?.. right now. .there just words .. y0u havent even proved ne thing.. and its alreadie almost been 2 months.. iim not liking it right now.. im afraid you just wont get what im trying to tell you.. and that you wont even bother to understand.. y0u ask whats wrong.. but only so y0u wont feel bad... not becoz you really care if im down or not .. and y0u dont even come up to me.. and ask whats wrong until everyone else is asking it.. iim so stressd yet you dont even noe it.. you tell me to go to the park.. and you don t even bother going to me.. what ?? am i suppose to go to you.. ? its not like we talk... it was always like this.. we never talkd.. and i just want to open up to YOU .. yet its so hard too... i dont noe.. i hate wen you sey you love me.. yet i noe.. you dont mean it... c0z y0u dont even exprience it til you noe a person... til you noe them more then you noe yer self... til both of you feel the same way.. til y0u risk.. everything bout this relationship.. til.. we both understand eachother.. til we both open up to eachother.. heh its weird.. someone askd me what was love to me.. and now i noe.. c0z i ve actually lost it.. heh y0u dont really noe .. til y0uve lost it.. right? .. as some ppls sey.. iim tired.. of everything.. i feel like giiving up.. but i wont' im so stressd bout skool.. and.. drama.and my family. and you... and stressd bout me .. that iim always tired.. and im always crying.. i wish it cood stop.. wen can i be happy agen.. to actually have a smile on for the whole day .. i dont really remember a time where i was happy for a whole day.. =\.. ii dont need this.. yet it  always happens to me.. am i bad luck or something.. yer happy .. yet im not.. why Me?.. i dont do ne thing im not even special.. yet yer still happy with me.. This is so hard to do.. bec0z someone toldm e.. i shood follow my heart... follow what makes me HAPPY not what makes other ppl happy..c0z its not good to be like this..and iim sorry for feeling this way but i do.

;\\ mood ; tired.

blehh..i dunt noe whats been up wid me.. but im so stressd and tired this whole week. well today was awesome as my husband puts it [[ denette sasis ]] har har.. =).. ne ways.. um... yeh yesterday wen i came bakk to skool everyone was like ' where were yoo alex ' felt so loved.. har har i noe no one can not live without my laff. unless you noe roberto thats worse har har.. ne ways yesterday uhm all that happend was i broke down in sixth period c0z i got thurd cast for christmas carol.. yes a big disappointment.. had those talks with mr maher.. yeh hes giving me first cast for romeo and juliet.. like thats a big deal.. man.. i g0t so mad.. my cast sux.. well some of the ppl.. like the elves they dont try hard.. there not Elvy .. no offence.. blahh.. there good.. but not the best. but its all good.. ill just have to live with it.. ne ways.. we were tlaking bout the first cast situation and mr maher seys i shood go for nurse.. and i want to go for lady capulet so i can be denises' lady orguhsum !! oh yeh.. har har.. and oohh yeh yesterday during lunch.. rc and jason wantd to fight ian blahh.. thye still do.. its getting hectic? i dont noe.. har har ..  i wont let that bug me.. ne ways TODAY.. i cut out my ring.. and now im married to ' denette sasis ' so im her wife and shes my husband.. oh yeh! how seksii can that get.. har har.. and then yeh. Uhm.. pe i finally got to be captin har har.. i pickd derrick c0z hes my BALLER in crime ? ahaha. and then bernadette furby ghianna ? and omar.. yup.. stinky shanizzle cheats !! hahaha.. man ok .. so then fourth period found out .. that someone likes me . wow.. maybe not im not sure.. but damn. NE waiss.. my heads been hurting like DAMN.. and uhmm.. what else??.. after skool went to drama.. [[ of course ]]] .. head was hurting felt like sleeping.. UHM.. yeh.. heh.. and then .. i got to go up.. yeh they dont pay attention to thurd cast.. oh well hah.. doesnt matter does it? .. ne ways.. i got lauren..neal..marjie of course.. adriana [[ mama ]] misty and missa. to go .. yup of course they will har har. .yeh aiiiite den im out.. hah.. nothing much to talk bout soo yeh

>>> mood : siick
>>>> new layout har har.. as jannilyn seys ; im a layout whore hahaha.. aiite well then PR0P UP SUCCA

ne ways haha.. sorrie raf i didnt go to skool today.. y0u stil owe me a hug though buahha.. ne ways.. ian didnt go to skool eitheir so im stuck talking to him.. jp haha.. it was fun were showing eachother pictures. ne ways.. Uhmm what to sey .. betchya guys missd me /?! haha. . proLly not.. oh well ahha.. so yeh.. Man gotta miss drama today.. and friday c0z i have that dance thing.. hope mr maher will be ariite wid it.. geee. haha. i feel super bad.. haha i left kirsten alone in 5th period..  ne ways . ummm what to sey what to sey.. staying home is boring.. but i can't walk alot or ill just throw up.. yeh i learnd that haha.. hopefully i feel better tomorrow.. c0z i dont want to miss ne more skool. . my grades will get low.. and then and THEN .. .=( i wont have an A in ms bechtels and im on the verge to a B no no no .. this is bad.. i must do work. =X.. and for ms antenello hopefully nothing BIG happend.. ahhhh why am i panicking?!? [[sigh]] .. ok ok .. im coo l hahaha.. ne ways.. Found out jannilyn sick too .. yeh talkd with her for a while and thats bout . it. .UHM yeh.. ok well im gunna go .. now bye

OH YEH.. i finally made a nice banner!! im so proud lol.. thenks to junemy and liz i noe how to DL fonts hahaha.. YEHP.. ok .. well im OUT

>>> mood : i dont noe what to do
>>>> like the new banner.. happy MISTY!?! haha you dont look like a cat ne more buahhaha

ne ways.. talkd to kellen and liz nad his lil white fren yesterday.. it was hilarious we startd talking bout way bakk wen hahaha.. and liike this is what i came up wid : //

-kellen told me the first time he saw me.. i g0t in a fight wid tihani and he lookd at me and he felt smaller.. yet hes taller then me!! haha he sed i made hiim feel like an outkast!! lol!
-valentines wen i was being a granny bout them STEALING the candee on the coffee tablei n my living room o h man!
-wen angela chased kellen with a butcher knife!!
-wen kellen gave me a rose for my berthday  [[aww]]
-wen liz spiit on JULIUS and KELLEN oh man
-kellens comfortable BED hahah
-hiis "makeout" party lol!!.
-oh man the video camra
-liz Pushing Tihani down to the canyon
-Kellen only wearing 1 pair of boxers each month
-wen julius gave Liz a bruise on her leg
-julius ghettoe ass bike and that a button on it .. and he get mad if we pressd it
-the ART belt.. chris' butt is half the R

so funny.. theres more.. but yeh.. oh man..i was so mean bakk then . dang didnt even notice hahaha.. but yeh.. ive chenged ALOT.. oh man.. funny.. and so we just listend to his fren argue over the fone.. and how they check gerls asses and boobs and not there face hahaha... godd hes coming today.. but yeh if liz doesnt come.. then ill go to drama. .c0z blahh ruining my schedule ne ways.. i dont noe when drama starts.. prolly alreadie startd?? c0z no ones on line from drama.. hMM.. i dont noe well ne ways.. thats whatts been up coodnt blog yesterday c0z the damn thing wasnt working s yeh

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well then after this.. me and melissa had this.. gahh talk. .but its all workd out.. yeh...... and thenn kellen and john came to my house and we just chilld for a few minutes outside. yeh thats bout it hahaha

since kirsten is doing im doing it!! buahha.. look what i did during .. . i ferget!! but i was hella bored talking wid rachel.. oh oh i think it was during the fire!! loll.. but ne ways..i was on something !! haha ... aint it funy/. well my day suckd .. and it didnt at the saMe time!!. haha.. see.. i found out charley switchd his classes... well yeh.. then .. we ran the milei  suckd.. c0z i was so freakn sad. then.. fourth period.. i g0t alot of laughs.. haha.. neal frreakn sat on me.. and made me fall off.. well not really fal off my chair..  HM what else. oh rachel g0t stuff in her hair !! i felt badd for her.. and uhh.. kirsten was nt here.. yeh.. after skool went with denette to bubble tea.. hadnt gone there in 2 weeks so yeh.. it was fun.. and yeh.. liz came over so yeh haha. .that bout it .