First and foremost, let me address the former essay that I have read. (For all you dumb blondes, the word "former" means "first".) Upon reading this, I thought to myself...must be some fucking loser dude who just can't get a girl and wants to complain. Well, my friends. I still think that. Whoever the fuck wrote this needs to stop his bitching and either:
A) Lower his standards
or
B)Lose the thick glasses, cut his hair, get a sense of style, and grow some fucking balls.

You, my friend, are a dumbass. You think that girls only go for assholes blah blah blah boo fucking hoo cry me a river. Listen, you fucking nimwit. You're the asshole. I'm going to put this in a scenario, and I'm sure it's what happened to you.

Lets say your name is Xavier. You are friends with a girl named Jessica, and shes pretty hot. You, on the other hand...well you're not the greatest catch. Your friendship with Jessica started only god knows how, because Jessica is probably the typical snotty hot girl who is a total bitch. But that's not the point, the truth is, you live for Jessica and you really really like her and maybe you're in love with this girl. But what you REALLY want to do is get into Jessica's pants. But let's face it, mister "Nice Guy"...you don't have the balls to tell this to Jessica. Fear of rejection? Lack of experience? Maybe you're actually gay? I don't know, it's not my fucking problem.

During your long, drawn out, fake friendship with Jessica, you see her go through several guys. These guys are typical guys, and your fucking jealous as all hell. These guys are the "assholes" you so describe....but really, maybe they aren't assholes. Did you ever think of that? There are several reasons you see them as assholes, but they all come down to one thing. This guy can get into Jessica's pants, and you can't.
Why?

1) They are better looking.
2) They are more athletic
3) They don't drive a piece of shit car
4) They aren't dorky as all hell
5) They dont wear thick glasses and have bad hair.
6) They have a sense of style.
7) They have BALLS.

You fucking moron, number 7 is the kicker. Because girls can get over number 1-6. Although its a theory that girls only go for the "hot guys with money and nice cars and have nice bodies", this is not always true. Some girls are stupid fucking bitches, I'll admit it. But not all are.

This "asshole" has the fucking BALLS to tell Jessica he likes her. He has the BALLS to make the first move. You don't even have the sac to look her in the eyes, you pathetic excuse for a man.

What do you expect? You're damn right that Jessica is gonna go for this guy, because of reasons 1-7, and because Jessica isn't even aware you're desperatly in love with her. So because this guy has bigger balls than you, it means he's an asshole, right? No. It just makes you a jealous bystander who is still stuck getting no ass.

So let's say you've been friends with Jessica for 2 years now, and you're still in love with her. These past two years you have subtly dropped hints (but let's face it, she hasn't picked up on them because A)They are too subtle, and B)Jessica's a dumbass), and now, after two long years you've grown the balls and you tell Jessica you're desperatly in love with her. Damn straight she's in shock, she thought you two were just friends. But you were only her friend cuz you want her pussy. So shes left with two options.

A)Risk the friendship and try dating your sorry ass.
B)Let you down easy and lose the friendship ANYWAY.

Let's face it, either option is a bust.
She tries dating you and shes gonna realize what a fucking loser you are. You've spent two years chasing Jessica while she made out with about 15 different guys, and she finds out your a horrible fucking kisser. You don't know what to do with a woman cuz you haven't had one in two years. The relationship doesnt work out, you get kicked to the curb, and the friendship ends.

Option B, she lets you down and says "but I still want to be friends, it won't be weird". It won't be weird, she's right. You know why? Cuz you won't ever come around again. You got let down after two years and you're real dissapointed. So you think shes a stupid cunt. But guess what?

Now you're the asshole.

But you still think all the other guys are assholes....no no no. They are smarter than you, that's all. They were straightforward, they got what they wanted whether it was a relationship or just a booty call. And guess what, if it was just a booty call? They still aren't assholes because little Jessica knew it was just a booty call, or she at least should have. And if it was a relationship, I'm sure the way it ended was all his fault, so he's definitly an asshole, right? Shut the fuck up you fucking dork. You don't know about their relationship. You only know what she told you, and I'll bet you were jealous when you heard how good he was in bed. Go cry.

Anyways, I'm getting sick of writing about your sorry ass, so now I'm gonna crack on the dumbass bitch who took time out of her pitiful life to respond to you.

First of all, don't bore me with your fucking "challenge" bullshit, because that part alone made me fucking sick. "we like to be faced with a challenge"? Fuck you, thats a dirty fucking lie. Ugh. It'll prolly be better if I classify everyone involved.

First of all, the author of the "Nice Guys Finish Last" essay...(essay, what a lame word. It was more like this guy complaining because he lacks testicles.) Well he is in the nice guy class, and he classifies other nice guys like him.

The nice guys = nerds. Plain and simple. Not as nerdy as total nerds, but they don't get second glances. They have nerdy traits and they have "cool" traits.

Then there are the assholes that mister "Nice Guy" talks about.

The assholes = The good looking, athletic guys who may or may not drive nice cars and have money. But they can get girls easier than the "nice guy".

Then there is the girls who chase the assholes, which mister "Nice Guy" speaks of.

The girls he speak of = too hot for Nice Guys. They are very pretty, not exactly the hottest girl around, but they are above average and in most cases, mr. "Nice Guy" doesnt meet their standards.

These classifications are broad, and not my classifications. These are classifications that I have in general come to terms with after reading both of these "essays"

Anyways, back to you. You're attracted to the assholes because they are a challenge? This is bullshit, this is pure and utter shit. You're attracted to the "assholes" because they are attractive, it's as simple as that. Don't fucking sugar-coat it, don't fuck around with me. The "asshole" is attractive, and you heard he's good in bed. Or maybe you heard he has a big cock. I don't particularly care, but the god damn truth is you want his nuts. That's why your attracted to him. Don't lie to these "nice guys", and tell them you like the challenge. It's easier to say...

THE ASSHOLE IS BETTER LOOKING THAN YOU!
or
I'LL BET YOU SUCK IN BED!

I can't even fucking believe you said this...and I quote...

"Assholes, aren't always COMPLETE assholes"

That statement, right there...leads me to believe that you are an idiot. You're trying to defend the "assholes" that mister Nice Guy puts down, and you back that up by calling them assholes!? How do you do that? You basically just told the world, "yes, they are assholes, but they aren't always total assholes...I mean sure, they mostly are...but when they are fucking my brains out, they really aren't"

I shouldnt even go on, but I will. First of all, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every guy in the fucking world is an asshole. While you are "nurterers" by nature...we...we are assholes by nature. Everyone has a little bit of an asshole in them, and it doesnt always mean because they "play" girls. I'm an asshole because I tell it like it is...hence the reason you are hating me right now, calling me an asshole.

When will you fucking realize that every guy is trying to get into your pants. Guess what? How many guy friends do you have? Lets say you have ten close guy friends (which would be a lot).
I guarantee that at least 8 of them are friends with you because they want you REAL bad. If you haven't come to this conclusion by this point in your life, then you're a downright dumbass. I'm going to be honest with you here. Most of your guy friends want to get you in bed. After reading this, take a second look at your guy friends. Hell, tell one of them you want to spend some time alone, and go out to dinner or something. I'll guarantee they get dressed up for the occasion and do all they can to impress you.

I'm going to make this easy. There are females, and there are males.

There are good looking females, and there are good looking males. In general, the good looking males will get the good looking females. It's fucking nature. Ya can't fuck someone you're not attracted to, can you? Why the hell would you want to?

Then there are the not so good looking females, and the not so good looking males. In general, they will hook up. Sorry guys, but your standards are too high. Get over it...

And sorry girls...you'll always be fucking retarded.

Don't like what I say? That's not my problem, but I'd love to hear why. I encourage you to send me hate mail.
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