Dude..wtf!
So im grounded again, because of a guy i just met. Who i gotta say made me look smart....but u kno wut the lipring kinda turned me on, lol. But anyways im grounded 2 weeks, because i decided 2 lie to my mom....1st off i figured fuck im in trouble anyways, so i told a little lie to avoid more delima. Only 2 find out the only reason i was in trouble 1st off was cuz my cell was supposendly off....which it wasnt. Well i get home & my mom completely doesnt belive me & wants me to prove i was sumwhere i wasnt....so i told her i lied, getting me in more trouble then i was to begin w/. So last night i get aim...like im not supposed 2 b and i c in my friends info sumthing bout my ex...who im so infactuated w/ its not even funny. I look in his shes in there 2.....hows that supposed to look to me. I mean every1 w/ a brain knos how i cant really get over kyle. The delima is i wasnt over him i learned 2 live w/o him, but he came back and things were going great until well we went to the drive in, it seems he cant go 2 days w/o wanting to tear me apart, i really didnt wanna fight. The last thing i wanna do anymore is fight...specially w/ a guy who id give anything for. Now i dont think he realizes, im diffrent now but only when im dating you will i drop my social life...i mean i really have to like u & see sumthing there & kno ur feeling the same. I mean im 15 i cant give up everything. But my lack of caring...or caring to much & trying not to fight led to more drama & me crying when i got home all night as he tore apart my every flaw. Now i normally wouldnt care but when u care bout sum1 so much...it kinda happens, i take veryword to heart & i keep wanting....ill never not love him but mayb if hed quite coming back i could get over him, but i dont think i want him gone. But yea so its not even 2 weeks since this and my friend is talking to him...i mean give me sumtime. i still dont kno if i want him and if maybe after a month or 2 im still like no no...then do it cuz im being rediculous bout it & its for my own good....but 2 weeks. that hurts. i just wish mayb we could work, mayb hed realize im not perfect & theres better ways 2 tell me that, cuz i learned 2 live w/ his flaws, or mayb i could get over him & him leave me alone. Cuz idk how to b just friends w/ him...we never really were.
