The Kids

Addison Angeline ~ March 31, 2009

Ian Joshua ~ January 28, 2011

Sidney Sue ~ July 10, 1999

Quentin ~ December 3, 1999 to February 17, 2011

New year, new page, here it is...

2012 ~ Part 1


Since it is a new year now it's time for a new webpage. I'm not going to do that tonight but soon, very soon. :)

New Year's Eve!; December 31, 2011

We had dinner at Cheryl's then all us siblings and our children went to a hockey game. It was fun. We left Makayla and Ian with my parents at Cheryl's house. Those are the busiest two babies. They are both into everything so together it's double trouble!!! After the game we went back to Cheryl's and celebrated the new year at 11 pm with New York. We got home a few minutes before midnight so celebrated again just he four of us at home and finally got the kids to bed about 12:30 am. Our kids are definitely WILD, I love it.

Addison turned 33 months old today. This is her last bear picture before she turns 3. *** sniff sniff *** She looks like such a big girl.

FOUND!!!; December 29, 2011

MY RING HAS BEEN FOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy!!! Josh put his work pants on yesterday and it was in there. It's very odd because he had not worn those pants since before our trip yet my ring was lost after our trip. Isn't that strange? They were hung too high for Addison to reach them so my only guess is divine intervention or the laundry.

Ian has started making kiss sounds when he kisses. He's been giving open mouth slobber kisses for a while, but now he purses his lips and makes the sound. LOVE IT!!! He turned 11 months old yesterday. Crazy to think his birthday party is in 1 stinking month. He still seems like a baby to me though, more so than Addison at this age. I guess it's just because I have an older one around to make him seem younger, I'm not sure. He has the best laugh. He doesn't giggle over just anything, he's a little particular, but when he does oh my is it cute. He smiles all the time though, especially when you tell him no. He knows darn well the things he shouldn't get into and will wait until you aren't looking to get them. He is a good problem solver too. He couldn't reach something on the couch so pulled the boppy off so he could stand on it and reach the phone. He is smart, sweet, cute, cunning, honorary, snuggly, shy, and as pleasant as can be (when not sick). When someone says he is cute or someone he doesn't know talks to him he will smile and bury his face in my chest. SO CUTE!!! He has perfected his wave and there is nothing better than a little chubby arm and hand waving around. The other day at gymnastics he saw Josh and Addison waaaay down on the floor and he started saying "DADA, DADA" real loud and waving like a mad man.

Merry Christmas; December 26, 2011

Thanks ladies! The prayers worked and we were able to have Christmas on Christmas Day with my family. We had to miss Christmas Even though with Josh's family so his immediate family came over today and did Christmas and his extended family just sent the gifts with his mom. So that's the quick version and here is the long version:

Christmas Eve Eve - Josh had to work and Addison was feeling really damn rotten. She was super good though and just snuggled up in her chair watching movies all day. Poor thing. The night before her fever had been so bad she was shivering uncontrollably and kept telling me "mommy, I shivering, I shivering". Her fever was still up there but finally responding to tylenol and motrin. She hardly ate anything all day but finally at bedtime ate some soup. I felt awful for her. She would burst into tears saying her mouth hurt. Ian was having trouble eating too but acting pretty pleasant. He wanted held a lot but wasn't screaming or anything. He would nurse about 5 minutes every 5 hours, which still wasn't enough but better. That evening they both ate some cheerios so I was glad to see that. Oh, and to top off all the other shit going on, my wedding ring was lost!!! I haven't seen it since we got home from vacation (Wednesday) and Addison was playing with it. I'm so bummed and worried. We have looked EVERYWHERE!!! That evening my mom came and sat with the kids so I could do some last minute errands. Josh met me out and we had a quick fast food dinner together and did some Target shopping. It was a much needed break from sick, needy kids.

Christmas Eve - Addison woke up fever free, which made me very happy!!! I obsessively took her temp throughout the day worried the fever would return but nope. The morning wasn't very pleasant. Ian was a scream-o-potamus and Addison was a crabby beast. I think they still didn't feel great, but damn kids, give it a rest! It sucked. At one point Josh and I just stood in the kitchen hugging each other while they sat the the living room screaming. It was stressful but got better as the day went on. We let Addison open a present from us in the morning and then the kid exchanged presents. I think that will make a nice tradition since they will always get each other something fun. During Ian's morning nap I ran a few errands and Josh and Addison built a gingerbread house. I brought home some merry Christmas Even Chick-fil-A and then it was afternoon naptime, which Addison ignored and sat in her bed playing. After that we made sugar cookies, which turned out great. I was quite pleased. I had never made any before and we did them from scratch. Addison only decorated 1 cookie with the biggest pile of sprinkles ever. The rest of the time she spent eating those sprinkles. Josh ran an errand and my dad and grandma brought us dinner from Tim and Angie's house. That was nice and made it feel more like Christmas. Good food is a necessity to the holidays! We watched a show on tv then Addison set out milk and cookies for Santa and a red apple for Rudolph and off to bed it was. She was a little uneasy about the idea of Santa sneaking into the house and asked to sleep in our room, but she fell asleep fast with no issues. Ian sacked out quick too.

Then all the work began. We had to wrap Santa stuff still and drag that gigantic dollhouse up from the basement. During all that we were sipping, okay, chugging, wine and realized we didn't have any batteries for Ian's toys. We called Rick and Cheryl who were coming over to pick up Makayla's kitchen hidden in our basement and they had 2, we needed 7 total. We called Josh's parents and they had 5, perfect! So at 10:30 Christmas Eve everyone brought batteries. It worked out even better when the kitchen didn't fit in Cheryl's van so we were able to put it in Josh's parent's truck. Josh and I got all our stuff set up and headed to bed.

Christmas Day - Addison woke up and walked into the living room and said "Oh mommy, you got me more presents!" I told her Santa and brought them and her eyes got really big and she said "ooooooh!" I couldn't believe it but she started opening a small one first. Crazy kid. She did eventually tear into the big one though and was excited about her dollhouse. Whenever she would open a present she would say "It's..... it's..... it's.... " the entire time and then when she figured out what it was she would say "A dollhouse!", or whatever the gift was. Silly girl. Ian went straight for his new ball, which was his only unwrapped gift. He liked ripping bows off the packages and loved eating them even more. His favorite thing to eat was all the paper of course. He would rip some off a package, try to stick it in his mouth, we would take it from him so he'd rip some more... repeat, repeat until the package was open. He got disinterested quickly and crawled away to destroy Addison's dollhouse. Addison unwrapped most of his stuff. Josh and I exchanged gifts. He got me a hot water kettle and a Mickey watch (I got that while we were still at Disney) and I got him a new wallet and long sleeved polo. Here is what I can remember of the kid's list from us and Santa:

Princess Barbies
Lalaloopsy dolls
Vtech writing thing
Princess shoes
Bath toys
Zoo zoo pet

Lil zoomers race track
Alligator ball popper
Bath toys
Talking ball

Ah crap, we still haven't opened Ian's stocking stuff.

Anyway, after all the unwrapping we had some breakfast and then started on the pile from Josh's extended family. That took all dang day, it was a lot of stuff. Addison even said "too many presents, I am done!" She gets bored unwrapping stuff and wants to just go play. She has always been like this. She unwraps stuff really slowly too, which I like because she enjoys the moment, but Josh is always telling her to hurry up. Meathead. Meanwhile my dad arrived to get the prime rib in the oven and then took off again. The kids napped and my dad and grandma got there to start cooking the other stuff. Soon the rest of the crew arrived and we had a nice, noisy, Christmasy house. We ate dinner: prime rib, twice baked potatoes, ceasar salad, creamed corn, and crescent rolls... everything made from scratch. Sooo yummy!!! Then it was present time. Each kid had an obscene pile of toys. It was a good time. Tim and Angie got all of the kids matching PJs and we got a pic of them, adorable!!! It was a very nice Christmas.

Day After Christmas (today) - Addison slept in but of course Mr. Ian had us up at 7 am so he could poke our eyeballs out. He's such a wild man! Josh's parents came over to do our Christmas and then the rest of the crew arrived. Again the kids had an insane pile of presents to open. Melinda also came over who I hadn't seen since last Christmas! We didn't get much time together with all the craziness, but it was still great to hang out again. Everyone opened their presents then we just hung out chatting and playing ping pong until everyone left. It was a good day. Addison was waaaaaay past her naptime and exhausted so threw such a fit I was bleeding from my lip at the end of it. Lovely. She passed out fast once she quit screaming. We had to wake her up for gymnastics but she was pleasant and did great tonight. My mom came to watch then we all went out for dinner. Then it was home for baths and bed.

The kids are going to daycare tomorrow and I'm going to hopefully get lots of stuff done. There's a chance I could do nothing but sleep the day away, we'll see.

Here is what I can remember of the kid's loot from everone else (I will have to update it later as I find stuff ):

CD player with microphones
Clothes and PJs
Zoo zoo pet
Bounce on ball
Belle doll in her blue dress
Belle doll in her yellow dress
Doll clothes
Doll bed and dresser
Barbie car
Sandwich cutter

Stuffed frog
Talking tonka truck
Big lil zoomers car
Basketball goal
Elephant ball popper
School bus
Little people Noah's ark
Cozy coupe and trailer
Preds shirt, pennant, and sticker

Our loot from people
Nativity set
Pots and pans
Mickey snuggie

We're Back!; December 23, 2011

What a whirlwind of a week. First, the vacation was great. The weather was beautiful, Addison was full of excitement, and the decorations were beautiful. I'll do a full trip update hopefully soon. Our last day there though Ian developed a fever that peaked that night close to 104. I wasn't sure if he should fly or not but we went ahead and it was rough. Plus the weather was horrible and the airplane was being tossed every which way. Since we got home Addison has developed 103 fever. Ian's has broken but he still refuses to eat much. He nurses for about 2 minutes every 6 hours or so. Addison hasn't eaten anything but a few bites of applesauce in 2 days. We went to the doc today and she said they had some nasty sores on their throat, but it was viral so just had to run it's course. Then when I got home I discovered sores all over Ian's legs and heels, now it looks like they have hand, foot, and mouth disease. Poor babies. If Addison's fever breaks today or tomorrow then we will be okay Christmas, but if not then it's going to suck bigtime. I hate for her to miss the excitement of being with our big family on Christmas. Ian is too little to get it so he won't mind, but it'll be a big bummer for Addison. She is already sad she hasn't seen "her girls" yet since we got home.

And now for a detailed trip play by play:

Wednesday - (December 14, 2010) We were up and ready on time, which made me worried we forgot something of course! Addison was excited and Ian was just eating things off the floor as usual. We boarded the plane smoothly, got all set up, and as soon as we took off Addison yelled all excited "We're blasting off!" It was really cute. The flight was good and uneventful. Ian was wiggly but good and Addison just hung out. We didn't have much time to change planes in Atlanta and Addison thought the train was the train at Disney, but we made it. We grabbed a nasty lunch so no one ate much and it was such a short flight we didn't get anything but a tiny bag of peanuts. The kids were good but by the time we landed they were losing it. Our dumbasses forgot to pack Ian lunch in the diaper bag and Addison was starving. She kept asking for food. We got off the plane we had gate checked and our stroller was nowhere to be found. The pilots and flight attendents searched and searched to no avail. The kids were REALLY losing it now and I started to tear up from frustration. The flight attenent felt so bad for us she handed us this huge bag of free snacks and water. There were like 20 packages of gold fish, 10 candy bars, 10 cookies, and about 10 waters. The told us to go to baggage claim, which pissed us off. We stay at Disney so we don't have to do that because they get our bags. But off we went and there it was, at baggage claim. Dumbasses. We went to the Disney bus transportation area and waited for our bus. Our hungry kids were really extra pissed now and it sucked. Addison ran off while I was in the bathroom and some stranger had to help Josh stop her from going up the escalator while he was holding a pissed off Ian. UGH! On the bus things calmed down and once we got to the resort and ate things were better. We had originally planned to go to a park, but the kids were so done we didn't want to attempt it so played on the playground and went to bed. Addison was excited to see that our elf, Socks, had came along for the trip. That sneaky elf. We had gotten a pack n play for Ian and bedrails for Addison to sleep with us. She has never been able to sleep with anyone, but she is too big for a pack n play. About 30 minutes into her trying to fall asleep she asked for a bed like Ian's. We called and they brought another pack n play and she fell fast asleep. Whatever works for ya kid! We were pleased with our resort. We stayed at the Port Orleans French Quarter and it was really pretty. It is the Disney's smallest resort and I loved that it was so easy to get around everywhere. We had the perfect room location too, right by the main hall and the buses. It was great.

Thursday - We got up, ate some breakfast (Addison asked for some of those pappy things, which meant pancakes. So cute!), and headed to the Magic Kingdom. Addison was adorable when she saw the castle. She kept saying "Look, my castle!" There was a show going on when we arrived, perfect timing. Addison wanted to ride pirates first so we headed that way. I thought Ian might be scared of the drop but nope, he just looked around and took everything in. He was really good about sitting on our laps watching stuff. We rode lots of stuff and took Addison to see the princesses. She was PUMPED UP!!! She wanted to show them all her "Merry Christmoose Addison" shirt. So funny. We went back to the resort so the kids could nap. Addison laid in her bed singing "It's a small world after all" and Ian napped on the way so wasn't tired when we got there. I took him to downtown Disney for some shopping while Josh and Addison napped. She did actually nap with Josh in the big bed, which is amazing and very un-Addison like. That night was our Mickey's Backyard BBQ party. We did that same one last August and it's great. You get to dance and hang out with the characters, Addison was loving it and a dancing fool. Ian was not pleased by the characters though. He kept clinging to us really tight when he saw them. He did, however, love the popsicles there!

Friday - We dressed the kids up in Christmas gear so we could head to downtown Disney and see Santa Clause and shop for a new princess dress.. About 10 steps out of our room Addison tripped and fell and skinner her knees. They bled and she cried but was okay. We started walking again and she fell, againn! This time it was nasty and her one knee swelled up bad. I was worried about it but she was walking fine. I had to go buy some first aid stuff and get her fixed up. Well then she hit her mouth on something and her lip started bleeding! Poor kid, 3 bleeds before 10 am. We fixed that up, changed her shoes, and were finally off. She was loving downtown Disney and picked out a Cinderella dress. She tried it on and refused to take it off so bye bye went the Christmas gear. We visited Santa who was totally the real deal man, he was awesome. Addisond didn't want to sit on his lap and Ian was sleeping so we all ended up in the picture. We headed back to the resort after lunch for a nap and then it was off to the Magic Kingdom. This was a big night, we had our dinner at Cinderella's Royal Table in the castle and our Mickey's Very Merry Christas Party. The dinner was really great! The food was delicious and Addison loved loved loved the princesses, even the "Big Mermaid" as Addison called her. I said "Look, there is the little mermaid" and she said "No mommy, that's the BIG mermaid!" We got a great table too near the windows and it was the first table all the princesses visited when they arrived. Score! This is where Ian met the only person he liked up until this point... the chef! She came to our table to talk to me about my allergy and he was talking to her and smiling at her, it was hilarious. During dinner a couple near us got engaged! The waiter brought the ring out on a glass slipper and the man proposed, awesome! After dinner we rode some rides and then watched the Christmas parade, fireworks (which were amazing and surrounded us), and walked through the snow on main street. It was really neat.

Saturday - Breakfast this day brought one of my favorite lines of the entire trip. I was standing in line with my tray holding Ian waiting to pay when some lady says "Um, excuse me maam, but your baby is eating your bacon!" And he was!!! Ian had a fist full of bacon and was gnawing on it. Hilarious!!! After breakfast we headed off to Hollywood Studios. Addison liked the Disney Playhouse show as usual and was excited to catch some "gold doubloons" from the pirates. That girl loves her some pirates, arrrgh! We tried to fast pass Toy Story since this was our 4th trip since it opened and we still had not rode it, but our time was for 7 pm! No way would we still be there then! We found there wasn't much for Addison and Ian at this park, which was disappointing. There were some 3D shows but Addison hates those so we met some characters, snapped some pics, and left. We went back to the resort for lunch. There was a man handing out beads at the food court. He gave Addison some purples ones and she said thank you. A few moments later she was over there telling him how she has some like that at her house so he gave her green and gold ones too and then a balloon. Girl knows how to work it for free stuff already! After lunch and naps we headed out to our dinner at the Coral Reef Restaurant at the Nemo ride in Epcot. It was neat but not awesome as the reviews had described. My food was cold and the kids were acting like butts, not our best Disney moment for sure! After dinner we had fun though riding rides. Addison loves the Nemo ride and the big ball The second time we rode it she looked up at me and said "mommy, I peed". I could do nothing but laugh hysterically. It was hardly a squirt but enough for an underwear change when we got off the ride. For a minute there I was afraid it was going to be all over the seat and she was wearing her Belle dress!!! We caught the Epcot fireworks that night and headed back for bedtime.

Sunday - We had a fun breakfast this morning at the Tusker House with Donald, Daisy, Mickey, and Goofy. Last trip we had such a hard time finding Daisy and Addison really likes her so this was perfect. The food was really good too. We celebrated Ian's 1st birthday while there since he won't get to go next month for his actual birthday. He was loving the cupcake they gave him! He did not, however, like the characters, but we got some good baby screaming pictures. We rode the safari, which Addison loved and Ian like all rides didn't seem to care either way. Then Josh and I took turns riding Dinosaur, I love that ride! Addison had a blast playing in the Dino park playground. We went back to the resort for lunch and naps again and then headed back to Hollywood Studios to check out the lights. WOW!!! They were unbelievable. The entire city area in the back was covered and I mean covered in lights. They danced to the music too, which was awesome, and in between songs it snowed!!! It was truly an awesome, magical Disney moment. We sat on the curb sharing hot cocoa and watching the lights for the longest time. I loved every second of it and so did Josh and Addison. Ian again didn't seem to care either way. We rode a couple of rides, including Toy Story by using our fast passes from the previous day. We played dumb at the entrance and the guy let us in. YAY!!! It was really cute but there is no way I would wait 2 hours like people were doing. Crazy.

Monday - During breakfast at the resort the Disney cast choir showed up to sing Christmas carols, that was really neat. They dressed as elves and handed out beads and candy canes. Addison was loving it. We headed back to Magic Kingdom after breakfast to ride more rides and visit Tinkerbelle. Addison is such a ride junkie and loved them all. Someone we met said her kids were scared of Pirates and the Haunted Mansion but Addison loved them. Ian just sat looking around in amazement and didn't seem one bit scared. The crowds were noticeably larger this week and made it much harder to get around and ride things, but we managed. After a fun morning and naptime we headed to Epcot for a princess dinner at Akerhaus. We did breakfast there in May and it was great, but the dinner sucked. Addison loved the princesses of course and that is what mattered, but the food was ass and the waitress a ditz. We payed $26 for Addison to get 2 meatballs and a tiny pile of corn and potatoes. Ridiculous! It wasn't even good. Anyway, she was happy and again that is all we cared about. Ian had taken a liking to the princesses at this point and was a total flirt. He just gazed at them and stroked their hair. What a little stinker! Addison got to walk around the restaurant holding Sleep Beauty's hand and waved the entire time like a princess. She was SO excited, I loved it!!! After dinner we took the monorail back to Magic Kingdom to enjoy the extra magical hours and we caught the fireworks again. I forgot to share earlier, Ian was not a fan. He would look at them but when they boomed he would grab onto us really tight and hide his head. He didn't cry so that was good, but he was not a fan. Addison adores fireworks and seeing her face light up is awesome!

Tuesday - Our last Disney day, so sad. I was sort of ready though, the crowds were getting larger and the kids were starting to meltdown. At the beginning of the trip Ian would just sit nicely on our laps on the bus, but by the end he was a screaming mess every bus ride, especially at night! It was quite a lot to handle. I remember Addison doing the same thing on her first Disney trip when she was 11 months old. Interesting. We headed to Magic Kingdom with Addison in full Cinderella gear. I loved she wore her Cinderella and Belle dresses so much. She might as well get our moneys worth of wearing them! While we were riding the Magic Carpets Jasmine and Alladin got on, that was pretty neat. We rode a lot of stuff, visited the princesses again, Mickey and Minnie one more time, and then rode lots more stuff. I told you, Addison is a ride junkie (just like her mama). I am looking forward to taking her when she hits 40 inches and can ride even more. I have a feeling she won't be scared of much! We headed back to the resort in the late afternoon. Addison napped on the way back so was ready to party when we got back. Me and her went swimming since it was about 83 out that day. The water was chilly though so after about 30 minutes in the baby pool we headed to the hot tub. I told her to behave because that is where adults go to relax. Everytime someone came to the hot tub she would go "look mommy, people are here to relax!" She's so funny. Oh, a really funny Addison comment: she was wearing a swimsuit with the little mermaid on it. Some lady said "oh, are you the little mermaid?" Addison replied "No because I have a booty, see" and turned around so the lady could see. She pointed to Arial on her swimsuit and said "see, she has no booty." Oh that kid comes up with some crazy stuff!!! I think this was the first time she has been swimming without a swim diaper. She kept grabbing her butt and saying it felt funny. She even asked for a swim diaper at one point because her "butt felt funny". After swimming we packed up our stuff and ad some drama with our airline check in online. After an hour on the phone and a lot of cussing that was cleared up. We realized Ian felt warm so took his temp, 101. Great. We gave him tylenol and went to bed about 11 am.

Wednesday - At 1 am Ian woke up a super hot mess. Our thermometer wasn't working but he was easily 103 and likely over 104. He would hardly eat and couldn't sleep. About 2 am I went out into the cold air in my PJs to call our pedi after hours to discuss him flying. After an hour and a half of phone tag and stupid responses from the dipshit nurse I was fed up. I called our travel insurance and got the ball rolling with them for a trip delay. Everything would be covered at 100% so that was a relief, but we still had the sick baby to deal with. After an hour on the phone off and on with them while they tried to find a doctor to come see us. The doc couldn't come until 8 am and our flight was 45 minutes away and at 9:30 am. That just wasn't going to work. We decided to just fly home and I finally fell back asleep from 4:45 am - 5 am when Ian got me up again. So yeah, 2 hours and 15 minutes of sleep total, great night! The flight was a miserable mess, obviously. Addison was pretty good even though the poor kid was beat. She passed out on the second flight and slept the entire way sitting up straight. Ian was upset and crying a lot, of course, he felt like ass. Poor guy. And the flight itself, whoa, scary!!! There was a cold front moving through and the plane was being tossed all around. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster going up and down, it sucked. The pilot warned us like 6 times it was going to be rough, which only makes you more nervous. I was sooooooo happy when we landed safely in Evansville. I took Ian to urgent care when we got home since the pedi coudn't see him until 6 pm and he had been crying for 2 hours nonstop. The guy was a dumbass and said his throat and ears looked good so I should treat him for a sinus infection. I ignored him and dind't start the antibiotic. The next day Addison got a 103 fever and quit eating. By Friday neither of them were eating even though Ian's fever had broken. Well in the end they had hand, foot, and mouth disease. Well, Ian did for sure and Addison had nasty throat sores but never got any hand or foot ones. So I'm not sure but it all passed before Christmas Day.

Overall it was a great trip. Addison tested our patience to the bitter end. She ran off from us a couple of times, hit us, yelled, and was just plain rotten for many moments. Then she would hug us and say she loved Disneyworld and be so sweet. She was just being very 2!!! Overall though most of my memories are of her smiling and being excited so I'll hold onto those and let those devil child memores fade away. She truly loved the princesses and would get way excited about things, which was adorable. We were on the bus headed to the airport and she looked up at me with those big blues yes and said so sweetly "Mommy, I don't want to go home, I just want to stay here." Me too sweetie, me too.

Ian hit a couple of milestones while we were there. He started waving hi consistently and better than his previous arm seizure wave. He also learned to say no, which is cute and frustrating. If we tried to feed him something he didn't want he would turn his head really fast and yell "nooooo". Stinker! He got mostly table foods on our trip, which was a change. He refused his Gerber baby foods that we took because plastic is easier to travel with than the glass Earth's Best jars. What a snob. He got a lot of treats like cupcakes, popsicles, and cheesecake. I have a good phone video on facebook of him throwing a fit when I said the cheesecake was all gone. He's a riot.

Almost Disney Time!!!; December 12, 2011

Wow, I haven't been in here in an entire week. I think that is a record for me. Things are just crazy here and I feel like I'm spinning in a circle. Last Monday was my last day of classes. Ian spent the first half of last week a screaming, crying mess. I was really frustrated because all we kept hearing was what a new baby he would be after tubes... not my kid! He was getting his top right center tooth in though (popped through Wednesday 12/7) so that was part of it and he was still pouring snot. On Thursday Josh took him to the doc and they are treating him for a sinus infection. 4 days later he is a happy, non-snotty baby! Please let this be the end of the sickies for that little guy!!!

The next topic is sleep. Oh this kid! There were nights last week he got up 3 times. OH HELL NO!!! I was a zombie at work and fed up with it. We had him sleeping through the night in August, but then the ear infections started. We naturally held him and fed him at night during all that because I won't leave a sick baby to cry alone. But, the infections were gone and we were in a bad habit. Josh talked to the doc about it Thursday and she said he was plenty old enough to be manipulating us now and we needed to stop it. she made some suggestions and we went with it. Thursday night we let him fuss quite a bit and were in and out in and out for what felt like all damn night. He wanted a boob but he wasn't getting it damnit. He finally settled in and slept from about 5-6:30 peacefully. I felt like shit Friday morning so after everyone left I went back to bed. Of course that ruined my entire morning at work and I got nothing done, adding to my stress. Friday night was not pleasant either. We were in and out constantly. We would let him cry about 15 minutes and then go rub his back but would not speak to him or pick him up. He was SCREAMING that awful screech he can do at the top of his lungs. Poor Addison couldn't sleep either and felt like crap for 2 days because of it.

But then... then came Saturday night. We didn't go in there 1 single time!!! He woke up a few times and fussed but didn't scream for only a few minutes and then would fall back asleep. Then last night he only woke up 1 time and it lasted maybe 2 minutes and he was back out. He slept 8:45 pm - 7:15 am!!! WE DID IT!!! HURRAY!!! I'm so glad. I hope it keeps up. Those 2 nights sucked but here we are on the other side all sleeping and happy. It's amazing the difference in Ian too. He is so much more pleasant during the day. He takes his naps and wakes up happy and playful, it's awesome. And he hasn't chased me screaming in days. He obviously feels better and man do I feel awesome getting a full night's sleep. I forgot how good it was.

Miss Addison has been very good lately. I think the fear of Santa is in her. Me and my dad took the kids to see Santa on Friday. Addison didn't want to sit on his lap but was cool talking to him and standing by him after he gave her a candy cane. Ian thought he was evil and must be destroyed. I've been working with Addison on the true meaning of Christmas so have been reading stories to her. During one of our books I asked her what presents she thought the wise men brought baby Jesus. She thought for a second and said "a washing machine!" Out of all the things in the world, a washing machine? Really? Last night she told my mom "I've got the attitudes." Oh, and she told Josh this weekend that boys smell like smelly shit. On Saturday we had a day of giving with her. We went to a pet store and bought some things for the humane society and she got to pick them out and load them in the truck. Then we took her to Target and she picked out toys for the "four" (poor) kids. We had her place them in a giving box. It was pretty cute. She was SO excited at Target seeing all the toys. She kept yelling "look, look!" at different stuff. She is going to be awesome at Disneyworld and Christmas morning this year.

That covers the major kid stuff, I think. My stuff is the usual... work, volleyball, wallyball, pumping, cleaning, running around like a mad woman, staying up too late, and dodging Josh's requests. Oh, and I had another period. It's only my second one since Ian was born. It started off as spotting, then crazy heavy, then back to spotting. I'm glad it got out of here before our trip!

A few photos:


Ian can now reach Addison's tray. It's oh so helpful.

Addison's new CARES harness for the airplane. I'm not sure why we ever travelled with that clunky carseat!

Neeeeed Sleeeeeep!!!; December 5, 2011

It's the end of the semester and I feel like I will never sleep again. I will sometime next summer I suppose.

My trip that was planned tomorrow got cancelled. I was so happy to hear that!!! It's now just a conference call, which I can do from my office and only half ass pay attention.

The kids are doing pretty good. Ian has some blood crumbs falling out of his ear still and was massively crabby tonight, but I think he was just super tired. He is still REALLY snotty though. I don't know if it is the teeth or what. I am going to call the pedi tomorrow and see what they think. I don't want to miss anything since we leave for our trip in 8 days! He has started saying Nana with purpose. Right before his surgery last week my mom walked in to see him and he looked at her and said "Nana... nana... nana". I thought she was going to cry! It was cute. He says it when he sees her now. He is so good at repeating stuff back to us. I love it. He has started to wave but it looks more like a Hitler salute. Today he stood on his own for a few seconds, wobbled, and grabbed back on. His favorite things still include carpet fibers and dog hair, but he also has a liking to the house phone and dishwasher. He's learning to climb on things... great!!! I have a stool in front of the small couch that I always put my foot on while nursing. Well he now climbs up on that and then can reach things that are way back on the couch. There is soon going to be no safe place for stuff in our house but up our ass. Gosh I love that kid.

Addison is our funny, crazy 2 year old still. She is loving the elf stuff. She thinks he is hysterical and it's making it super fun for us. St. Nick comes tonight. I'm not all that familiar with the story since I didn't grow up Catholic so I'm learning too. Apparently you put your shoes outside your door and he brings you a gift. One website said to leave a carrot or hay, um, no, gross. She will be excited in the morning to get her present. I'm loving seeing her and Ian's relationship grow. She cracks me up with him. One minute she will be loving on him and kissing him and the next she will literally be shoving him over and yelling at him. Classic siblings I suppose. She likes to "knock him", which means beating on his head. Fortunately his head is really hard and he thinks it is funny. Poor boy will be lucky to grow up with his brain in tact. Her current favorite things are playing in the basement with the Barbies, bouncing balls off Ian's head, finding her own food in the pantry and insisting on eating it, wearing socks to bed, reading books in bed, playing her letters and numbers game on the iPad, eating candy, yelling when she doesn't get her way, telling everyone that "shit" and "ass" are bad words, playing tag until your feet hurt, and playing ring around the rosie until you are so dizzy you fall down on accident. Gosh I love that kid.

Saturday night was Josh's work Christmas party. My parents watched the kid and that was only the 2nd time I have missed Ian's bedtime since he was born. Made me sad, but we had a lot of fun. I think, I can't remember. I was even too drunk to drunk post on here. I could barely see when we got home and only remember bits and pieces. But I am pretty damn sure it was fun.

Sunday we had my family up to celebrate my dad's birthday, minus Cheryl, Rick, and Makayla. Cheryl got all 3 girls dressed up in their Christmas dresses and fixed their hair all up for photos. On the way to the place Makayla threw up bologna and cheese all over her dress and carseat! Gross!!! She is feeling better today though.

Off to bed, finally.

Memories; December 3, 2011

Ian got his bottom center right tooth yesterday (12/2/11). I didn't want to forget.

Today is Munchkin's birth/angel day. It is also Quentin's birthday. I miss them both so much!

Successful Surgery; November 30, 2011

Ian's surgery went well and was free of complications. What a relief to have that over with. The surgery was quick as expected. The nurse said she probably would just hold him through the entire thing. I liked the idea of that. The anesthesiologist and the nurse were arguing over who would get to carry him back so I knew he was in good hands. I think we were in the lobby only about 15 minutes before they called us back and he was done. He was PISSED though. Poor little guy was just crying and crying. He tried to latch on to eat but would just do a couple of sucks and then cry and cry. I hated seeing that. They had us out of there in 20 minutes or so and on our way home. He rotated between crying and sleeping the entire way home.

Once home he finally ate some, not too much. He was pretty fussy the next couple of hours. If he burped, which he was doing a lot, he would cry for a few minutes and scream like something hurt. I put a call into the doc to see if that was normal or what. They called me back MUCH later, but he said it was likely due to gas from the anesthetic. I think he was right because it improved throughout the day. He took a good nap but woke up pretty unhappy. He then got the hiccups and really started screaming and crying like he hurt. He was red faced with tears, it was terrible. I was so worried about him but had to go into work for a couple of hours.

He kept improving though and this evening he was his normal, happy self. He ate pretty good tonight and fell asleep like usual. He is so terribly snotty still so we gave him benedryl again. I hope he clears up soon. His cough sounds just awful.

Yesterday Ian learned a new word... dog! He crawls after Sidney and says "dog, dog". I love it. It often sounds like he is trying to say "damn dog" actually. I have probably said too many times "GET OFF THE DAMN DOG!" Today at the surgery center they gave him a dog calendar and we were sitting there getting him checked in and he looked at it and said "dog!"

Funny Addison story: Josh and her were at gymnastics tonight doing stretches and the teacher very reluctantly asked her again "what do your feet smell like?" Addison said "Strawberries! That's the nice word." Josh later asked her what the bad word was and she said "Shit, that's a bad word." So yay for her finally getting there are good and bad words!

Christmas Time a Little Early; November 28, 2011

Happy 10 Months Ian!!! He slept great last night, 8 pm to 6:30 am. The few nights before that were horrible. Poor guy would just cry and cry in his sleep and dig at his ear. The first couple of hours last night he coughed and coughed and I thought we were in for another bad night but he did great. (Could have been the benedryl. ) I'm ready for him to feel better, it just breaks my heart he is so uncomfortable.

He now has 4 words! He says dada, mama, bubba (our nickname for him), and yay! His little yay is so stinking cute. I need to get it on video. He will say it and clap for himself and he says it just perfectly. I love love love it. He is repeating sounds now too, which is cool. He was trying to say "good cracker" yesterday just like my dad. Speaking of, he is a total pappy's boy. He loves my dad so much. It's cute to see what an awesome bond they have.

He is getting better and better at walking with his push toy. He will cruise between things now like the coffee table and couch. He is still into EVERYTHING! The child is a dangerous beast. He pulled a crystal bowl full of other assorted glass items off my parent's desk this weekend. We were sooooo lucky he wasn't hurt. He pulls stuff over onto himself all the time such as plants upside down on his head and the toy kitchen at my parent's house. He gets into things that none of the girls ever even attempted to bother and loves power cords. He is a dangerous little man and takes the term babyproofing to a whole different level!

Addison is so much fun with Christmas stuff this year. She is so excited about everything and it's awesome. Her eyes get so big when she sees lights and decorations and she thinks the elf is hysterical. She named him Socks last year and this year she thinks it's pretty cool he keeps making messes. She keeps telling everyone about his messes. Yesterday he got into her candy and today he unrolled all the toilet paper in her bathroom.

We had a good weekend. Saturday we got the house decorated inside and outside and bought a Christmas tree. We don't usually get ours this early but with our trip coming up we wanted time to enjoy it. It's going to be awful keeping Ian away from it. Addison was so fun picking it out and loved the decorations at Lowe's. She is going to go nuts at Disney! Saturday my parents stopped by and Addison conned my dad into breakfast the next morning. Smart girl! That night Josh and I enjoyed a bottle of wine and a movie after the kids went to bed.

Sunday morning my parents came up and my dad and Addison made homemade cinnamon rolls and biscuits and gravy. It was all delicious. That afternoon they watched Ian and Makayla at Cheryl's house while the rest of us went to the world's longest circus. Seriously, enough with the whores twirling on ropes. The kids had fun though and we left early. Addison was tired from not napping and losing it big time. We ate soup at Cheryl's and headed home for the evening. After the kids went to bed Josh and I got the lights on the tree so we are all set to put the ornaments on this evening.

Today is Addison's last music class in the young class where mommy gets to attend too. She won't be 3 until the end of March but is mature for her age and ready to move up. I'm so sad. Ian is starting in January though so at least I'm not totally on my own.

Surgery Scheduled; November 25, 2011

It's nice to hear lots of positive stories about tubes. Thanks so much for the support. I hate my baby going under anesthetic, but the doc said it will take about 3 minutes and he'll be right back up. Of course I will be nervous, but poor guy needs this so bad!!! I guess I need to back track a bit and update.

Tuesday was Ian's ENT appointment and the doc walked in, looked in his years, read his history and said yup, he needs tubes. He is having them put in next Wednesday (11/30). They tested his hearing and it is decreased in both ears, poor guy. He has fluid behind both ears and they said to him it sounds like he is constantly underwater. He didn't have an infection on Tuesday but I think he does now. I will likely be calling after hours in the morning, we'll see how the night goes.

After his ENT I had to take both kids to the pedi, alone. Josh went to the ENT but then had to go back to work. Addison was/is still snotty and has a nasty cough, but ears were clearing up. The pedi said if she is still snotty when she is done with her amoxicillin then they will do another round of something else. So far that something else is in the near future. She got her flu shot too, which sucked. It has been so long since she got a shot she had forgotten what it was like and was not happy. She calmed down really fast, but I felt horrible having to set her down with tears running down her face so I could hold Ian down. Next time both kids are getting shots I am taking help with me!!! Ian had to get 2 and also calmed down fast, but I felt bad I couldn't snuggle them both as much as they needed.

Ian's 9 month appointment went well. He was 21 lbs 12 ounces (60%), 29 inches long (63%), and a 47 cm head (86%). He is nice and proportionate with a big old nog. He has lost weight because he was up to 22.5 lbs. He hasn't been eating really well with all his ear trouble though and is much more mobile now so the pedi said not to worry. He is still good and healthy and such a smart little guy. Josh and I used to lovingly make fun of him for being kind of goofy but he is turning out to be quite smart and a little problem solver. He's awesome. He fell the other day and had his first bloody lip. I couldn't tell for sure where it was coming from, but it stopped quickly and he didn't fuss long. He's a tough guy! He will bonk his head HARD and barely make a peep. Addison has always been the same way. I'm glad they aren't wusses, that would drive me nuts.

The rest of Tuesday the kids were pretty good despite having shots. Addison was super crabby in the morning but it got better. That night Madeline and Makenzie spent the night with us since they were staying with me the next day. Addison was SO EXCITED and had a lot of fun with them. I had a volleyball game at 9 pm so Josh had to put all the kids to bed by himself, but he said they were all really good for him and it was easy.

Wednesday the girls and Addison played all day. Addison loves them so much and really looks up to them. I'm glad they are close since she doesn't have a sister and that bond is so special. She got pretty crabby that afternoon though from no sleep and was a total beast at gymnastics. It sucked and Josh went bowling right after. Ian cried the entire way home too and I was ready to drink a big old bottle of wine! They settled down at home though and we had an okay night. My mom came up to help me since Cheryl was out of town so that was nice.

Thursday was Thanksgiving and we went up north to my grandma's house. The food was great as always and the visit was nice. The crowd was much smaller than usual due to this and that so it was weird. My grandpa and cousin were greatly missed.

Today we ran some errands while the kids hung out at my parent's house. We had purchased some toys on Wednesday that were cheaper today so Target adjusted our receipt. They were sold out too so that worked out great! I am almost done with Christmas shopping. I have the kids totally done and purchased and I know what I'm getting most of the adults, it's just a matter of purchasing it now. YEAH!!! We leave for Disney is 2.5 weeks so I need to finish up. We also have Ian's surgery next Wednesday then the Wednesday after that I will be in Milwaukee. It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks because I also have finals to write and grade, proposals to grade, stacks of other crap to grade, and of course my usual life, which is hectic.

I should sleep while I have the chance...

Not Slowing Down Yet; November 21, 2011

Last week freaking killed me!!! It was crazy busy with work and activities. Then on Thursday I stayed up until 12:30 am writing a damn exam and at 1:30 am Addison woke up crying with a fever. I didn't get her back to sleep until 3:30 am and Ian woke up at 4:30 am! I got him back down about 5 am and then he was up at 6:30 am again. So yeah, 3.5 hours of broken sleep, NOT COOL!!! Addison's fever wasn't budging so I had to get my morning classes covered and take both kids to the doctor's office... ear infections for both. Poor kids.

By Saturday they were feeling better and they both had a great night's sleep, which was much needed for us all!!! Josh worked in the morning then we just hung around the house, went out to dinner, then over to Cheryl's to hang out some more. It was a fun evening. Cheryl and I tag teamed all the kid's baths and man, that is a lot of little butts to wash.

Sunday we skipped church. Both kids were crabby from staying up too late and we didn't want to arm wrestle them. I did some Christmas shopping and that afternoon was Josh's family's Thanksgiving. After that we went to Tim and Angie's to hang out with everyone. It was nice to all be together, it's been a few weeks since we have had everyone in one spot.

I didn't get to workout again today. I'm really falling off the wagon as the semester winds down. I did take some time out to have lunch with Josh today though. We needed a little alone time with the crazy week we had last week and the week we have ahead!

Funny Addison stuff: this morning I dropped a airband and said "ah shoot" and she said "mommy, quit bitching!" I said "what did you say?" and she replied "QUIT BITCHING!" I told her that we don't saying bitching, that is not nice, and she replies with "Daddy says that... and mommy." I told her those were grown up words and only mommy and daddys can use them and she said "oooh, okay mommy". She is awesome! She asked me today to rinse her damn sucker off and told Sidney to get the hell out of the way. I tried the other day in the car to clean up my language, but it didn't work. I stopped myself from calling someone an asshole and instead called him an asshat. Ooops! I replaced the wrong word!!! Addison cracks me up daily, she is awesome. She is such a smart ass too and full of attitude, I love it. She thinks any and all kids are her friends and loves to talk to people, even scagging looking men. She is quite friendly to strangers, especially when they leave her alone. She doesn't like people who are in her face or force her to conversate, but if she can initiate it she will talk your head off!!! Oh, one more funny thing. Tonight in the car on the way to music class I said "Addison, you are getting so big!" and she said "No mommy, I'm not big, I'm still little."

Ian still is being tortured by his top 2 teeth. I've never seen teeth just on the edge and not breaking through for so long. The poor little guy. His ENT appointment and his 9 month checkup are both tomorrow. I will be nervous for him to have surgery, but at this point he needs it. I'm so worried about his hearing and it isn't even cold and flu season yet! He has had constant infections since August. He is such a fun, sweet little guy. He loves to give kisses and play with his big sister. He is all over us lately. I was fixing my hair today and he came crawling into the bathroom saying "mama!!!" He will repeat "Bubba" to you also. So his words, in order so far are dada, mama, and bubba. He started clapping on Friday and can walk with his walker now. He is sitll kind of crooked wobbling legged, but he loves doing it and pops up at that thing all day to take off. So cute!!!

Stupid Work; November 17, 2011

Freaking work asked me to make 2 trips before Jan. 1 and 1 trip the first week of Jan. Are you kidding me? I can say no, and may have to, but it's for a big grant which will ultimately benefit me financially. But it is finals time, Thanksgiving, Christmas, we have our Disney trip soon, and Ian may need surgery. The 2 trips before Jan. might be day trips, flying out at 6 am and getting back at 10 pm, which will be exhausting but easier than staying overnight. We'll see.

Busy Mama; November 15, 2011

Things are just busy here and posting has to go to the bottom of my priority list. This week is extra insane because I'm filling in for another volleyball team. That means I have games Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday nights, plus all my normal mom duties and work. I'm pooped but enjoying being busy. We are less than a month away from Disney now!!!

The one thing I hate about not posting much is I forget all the funny kid stuff. For example, today when I couldn't get the remote control to work Addison said "damnit!" Oh that sassy little kid. Let me think back to last week... Josh had off Friday off work so took Ian to daycare and spent the day with Addison. I met them for lunch at Gattitown and we all had fun. Addison is just such a fun and hilarious kid to be around. Saturday I took the kids to get their pictures taken while Josh was at work. My mom met me there and the kids did awesome! Addison was posing and smiling and letting us put Ian on her back. It was great and I was pleased. Ian had woken up snotty and crabby so I was worried. After the pictures I took Ian to the doc and no infection but he had a lot of fluid behind his ear so he said to keep a close eye out. He has an awful cough now that started yesterday morning so I'm a little worried, but still watching. He was very pleasant today despite the cough and snot and still fever free.

Saturday afternoon Josh and I went to a UE basketball game kid free. It was fun but we were both ready to get home to the kids. We just aren't the go out type of people, we want to be with our kids. Sunday Addison and I went to church to see Madeline sing in the choir then our friends from Bloomington stopped by for lunch while passing through town. It was nice to see them, I really wish we saw them more often. That evening we took Addison to a hockey game since Josh had won free tickets. We were going to take Ian too but my mom offered to watch him so we ditched him. Poor booger. He had more fun at my parents though because my sister fed him sugary sweet potatoes. He had some pumpkin pie yesterday and was definitely a fan.

Sidney is still up and down. Her spirits are great, but she had a bad bleed last Wed. and Fri. So far this week she is okay, KNOCK ON WOOD!!!

Overall things are good. My back is sore again for whatever reason and I'm just on pins and needles waiting for the next kid to get sick. Addison was really snotty today too. The crazy weather isn't helping any.

Sleep time!!! Tomorrow is work, meet with my trainer, gymnastics with Addison, dinner at my parents, then home to arm wrestle everyone to bed while Josh is at bowling.


No Voice; November 9, 2011

Things are going pretty well here minus the damn germs still hanging around. Sunday we had my family up to celebrate Josh's birthday. My dad made some awesome spaghetti and meatballs (I'm enjoying leftovers right now) and a chocolate chip cookie ice cream cake. I started losing my voice Sunday and by Sunday night I was wheezing like crazy.

Monday I called my pulmologist and got a z-pack and steroids for my lungs. I could hardly talk at all, which made teaching so difficult all day. Addison's eye started gooping up, which is her classic ear infection sign so I was concerned about her too. Despite feeling rough it was a busy day: work, Kindermusik with Addison, dinner with Josh's parents (where Addison proceeded to devour most of my steak and all of my potato), kids to bed, and then a volleyball game at 9 pm. I'm playing on a team of UE professors on Monday nights now. I was beat by bedtime!!!

Tuesday I took Addison to the doc since her eye was looking even worse and she was digging at her ear so hard it was bleeding. Amazingly, NO ear infection! The pedi thought maybe a sinus infection though so we are giving her until Friday and if she is no better then we'll do some antibiotics. We avoid them at all costs with her and her diarrhea issues. She looked at Ian again since we were there and he has some fluid behind the ears but no infection. She said that was to be expected with what he has been through lately. He has some yeast in his diaper area too. That evening Cheryl, Rick, and the girls came up for dinner since we had tons of leftovers from Sunday still. It was a nice evening.

Ian has started letting go after pulling up. He can't stand more than a second or two, but it's cool he is trying. He can half-ass walk when holding onto stuff too. He pulled up on one of the little chairs at the kids table and it scooted across the carpet and he went with it, but he wasn't standing straight up. He walked all bent over like an old man. He's so stinking cute. He just loves to play so much and thinks Addison is hysterical. He loves to pull hair too and eat everything he finds on the floor, including dog food and carpet fibers. Last night he slept from 8:30 pm - 5:30 am without benedryl! That is his longest non-drugged stretch of sleep since getting the initial ear infection in August.

Addison has been a real sweetheart lately. She is finally coming around from all that meanness she had there for a while. We still have some, but it's much less intense, less often, and she gets over it faster. Yesterday she went potty all by herself! I was vacuuming and she disappeared. I found her sitting on the potty and she had peed and pooped. That is the first time she has gone completely alone without even telling us she is going. I am glad she didn't try to wipe herself though, that might be messy. She has been playing with Ian a lot lately. I think now that he is more mobile and interactive she thinks he is cool. Yesterday they played doctor and she gave him a check up, then they played peek a boo, and finally they rolled balls around. It's just so awesome to see them interact like that.

I might feel like ass and not be able to talk, but I'm skinny again. I'm 123 lbs, which is 3 lbs above my lowest weight after Addison was born, but close to what I was when I got pregnant with Ian. I was in a boot at that time so was fluctuating between 120-123 lbs. It feels good. My shape is different though because some pants are still tight on my lower stomach and ass. I just need to do some more weight training, but it's been hard. I'm getting lots of cardio in. I was going to hit the gym today but I'm hitting my albuterol instead.


Sidney is having a rough night again. When the kids and I got home from Addison's gymnastics she started bleeding. I managed to get some epinephrine up there while Ian screamed his head off. He was pissed anytime I got more than 3 feet away, it sucked. The epi didn't stop the bleed so I gave her a sedative to lower her BP and some more epi. The bleeding finally quit but now she is a drooling, stumbling, stoned out mess. Poor baby. :( I feel awful for her but she was bleeding everywhere and it's cold out so I wanted to get her in. It just sucks. The blood is so hard to deal with, but she acts happy and pain free so she isn't suffering. It's just extra hard with kids around because for example tonight, Ian went crawling through blood before I could get to it. Our vet suggests keeping her contained to one room, but what kind of quality of life is that for her? None! I can't do that to her.

When Ian was screaming and Sidney was bleeding I called my mom up for help since Josh was bowling. I wasn't sure I was going to get Sidney to stop bleeding. The only other thing I could try was an ice pack, but it's hard to stand outside and hold an ice pack on a dog's nose when you have 2 little kids inside. By the time she got here things were calm and everyone was happy so I felt bad, but she did our dishes while she was here. Score! Thanks again mom!!!

Funny Addison story of the day... At gymnastics they stretch at the beginning of class. The teacher had them doing forward stretches and she said "Smell your toes, what do your toes smell like?" And really loud and clear my child yells "SHIT!" The teacher and other parents cracked up and so did we! Man did that make my day.

Finally Healing; November 5, 2011

Busy as always!

Thursday - Happy 31st Birthday Josh!!! It was a crazy busy day for me at work. I did manage to squeeze in time to get my hair done in the morning though. I got home from work with both kids at 4:45 pm and whipped up a batch of cupcakes and icing real quick for Josh's birthday, fixed dinner, ate, celebrated with Josh, fed the kids, and was out the door by 6:50 pm for my volleyball game.

Friday - Ian had to go back to the doctor because he was doing even worse with his ears, poor guy. The left looked a little better but the right was no better at all so he got 2 antibiotic shots. We now have a referral to see the ENT. It sucks but it needs done, we aren't even in cold and flu season yet! Daycare said he was super fussy the rest of the day. I don't blame the little guy! Josh had to work late so the kids and I fixed a pizza and played until he got home.

Today - Josh took Ian back to the pedi for a recheck to see if he would need another round of antibiotic shots. They said sometimes it takes a few rounds but thankfully his ears looked better. I had to work open house at school then meet my dad for grocery shopping for tomorrow's birthday celebration for Josh. When I got home Josh headed out to go camping with the guys. My mom was up here cleaning our bathrroms, SWEET!!! Angie and Savannah came up this evening and we had girls night, with Ian of course. We had a really nice time. The girls were super good, ate great, and had fun playing. It was nice for Angie and I to chat without the loud boys around. It's amazing how quiet it was here.

That's about it. Addison's behavior has been much better lately. Ian was pretty good today too so I can tell he is feeling better. I feel so bad for him. Funny Addison story: last night she patted my stomach and said "Daddy, mommy has a baby in her belly!" then her eyes got really big, she threw her arms up in the air and yelled "SURPRISE!" We were laughing hysterically!!! For the record, there is NO baby in mommy's belly.

Ian was up 3 or 4 times last night. I'm hoping tonight is NOT the same since I'm on my own and the darn time falls back.

Sidney is pretty much back to normal! :cheering: I am amazed, I really thought it was her time. Her bloodwork showed some inflammation and blood loss, but not more than we would expect so it looks like all the bleeding was from her nose. That is awesome! She is such a tough old dog!

Double Ear Infection, AGAIN!; November 2, 2011

I have so much to share, good and bad. Here goes:

Friday - Addison had her gymnastics Halloween party. It was fun. She enjoyed getting to play on some of the big kid equipment. She is a total daredevil and will jump off anything into the foam blocks. She even swung out on the rope swing and let go. I love her personality so much. She dressed as Snow White since it was a shorter and cheaper costume so I wasn't too worried about her messing it up and it was easier to play in.

Saturday - We hung out around the house and washed diarrhea off the kids. Addison woke up covered in it and Ian had his explosion shortly after waking. That evening we took the kids to Boo and the Zoo. Addison had a really good time collecting candy and seeing the animals. She really loves the hippo. Ian did good watching everything and rode nicely in the wagon most of the time.

Sunday - Ian got up to eat at 6 am but went right back to sleep and both kids slept until 9 am!!! I ran my normal errands and we hung around the house getting stuff done. Late that afternoon Addison had Kindermusik so we wouldn't have to go on Halloween. She dressed up as Belle and had fun twirling in class. After class we went to Cheryl's for dinner and to carve pumpkins. It was fun.

Monday - Happy Halloween!!! The kids dressed up, again (this was a long Halloween season for us) in their Belle and dinosaur costumes. Ian was unimpressed with the holiday and just wanted to sleep. Addison was loving trick or treating and got 9 millions pounds of candy. She kept wanting to eat it along the way. That night was the first night ever though that she asked to sleep with her door open. I think the goblins may have been on her mind.

Tuesday - What a wild day. Josh and I both had eye doc appointments in the morning so we took the kids and they were really good. After that me and the kids met my dad for donuts then headed home. Ian took a long morning nap so Addison and I got lots of awesome outside playtime together. Sidney was outside the entire time too and seemed to be so happy laying in the sun. That afternoon Ian became a screaming mess and refused to nap. That combined with his snot buckets made me suspicious of his ears so I made him an evening appointment. Yup, double ear infection... AGAIN! Poor guy!!! We are 1 infection away from tubes. Oh, and he is 22 lbs now, WHOA! During dinner Sidney blew a huge blood clot out her nose, then another, then an even bigger one and she started bleeding. Josh tried to stop it while I was at the doc with Ian, but it just wouldn't stop with any of our usual medicines and methods. We took her to the ER vet and they got it to slow down. We had to medicate her a lot though so when we got home she was so groggy she couldn't even walk.

Today - I took Sidney to our vet because this morning she was still unable to walk much and was still bleeding. They got the bleeding to stop so she is stable and is finally walking on her own, but we might still have bad news. There is some indication that she might be bleeding internally. We have done some labs and they sent a bunch more off so we will see. I have a bad feeling here. When I look in her eyes something is just not right. I'm at home eating lunch right now and she just ate so that is good. We'll see.

General kid stuff:

Ian is consistently saying mama now. He will look right at me and say it so he's figured out mama and dada. So cute!!! He is still a little terror and gets into everything. He tried to eat dog food yesterday. He is loving the gerber poofs and shoves them in by the fist full. He still likes to bite people and pull hair too. He's been very happy lately until yesterday afternoon because of his ears. No more teeth yet, just the one and he still weighs 22 lbs even.

Addison's behavior was much better this past weekend. We still had fits, but they were fewer and less intense. Yesterday at naptime she tried to hit me and I moved so she missed. She said "Come here so I can hit you!" I said "no, hit yourself" and she said "I need to hit YOU!" Little anus. Yesterday a group of birds flew overhead and she said "they are flying to the beach!" I said "I want to fly to the beach" and she replied with "No mommy, you don't have wings, you have hands!" I don't even know where she has learned most of this, cracks me up!!!


Ian is pulling up easily and quickly now. I have caught him holding on with just one hand several times too.

Happy 9 Months Ian!; October 28, 2011

Happy 9 Months to my little man! He is such a sweetheart. He loves to give kisses, eat, play in the dog water, pull everything out of his diaper bag, pull up on anything, torture the dog, steal his sister's toys, and is a big mama and daddy's boy. He screams if either of us leaves the room. The last couple of days he has said mama a lot... finally!!! I was thinking he would only say dada forever. He looks right at us when he says it too. So smart.

Wednesday was rough. Addison was it full out stinker mode and Ian was pooping all over the place. We survived though. Thursday when I picked them up from daycare Ian was pouring snot buckets and crying. That has been his sign for an ear infection so after my volleyball game I took him to after hours. His ears are clear!!! FINALLY!!! The 4th antibiotic did the trick! The pedi was worried with all the congestion though he would get another one so recommended benedryl at night for a few days. He said "the only thing is it may make him sleepy." My reply was "Hell yeah, let's give it to him." It was the first night in a loooooong time he slept through the night. He is teething still too so I know the little guy is having issues, but damn do we need some sleep around here!!!

Today was insane at work. I had things back to back and ran all over campus. I seriously only had 15 open minutes today. Addison had a Halloween party at gymnastics tonight. Savannah and Makenzie came too and they all had fun. I bought Addison a Snow White costume to wear since it was shorter and easy to play in. She loved it. She loves dropping down from tall things into the foam blocks. She is such a wild kid, I love it. We only had 1 small fit this evening too so that was a nice break! Me and her laid in her bed playing with the flashlight and giggling for about 30 minutes. I love those moments.

I have to share a funny story. I was in the department office at work today when one of my colleagues came in and said she was in for an adventure this evening. I asked what she meant and she said her husband had just gotten tickets to the world series game tonight. I said wow, that's awesome, will you make it here on time. She said "Yeah, we'll take the plane." Oh riiiiiiiiiiiiiight, I forgot about the AIRPLANE you OWN. I mean seriously, who owns an airplane (besides them)? I forgot they had that. It's so large too that her husband had to fly to Florida for a week long intensive training course on top of his local flying lessons. And I was excited about my $5 off coupon today on my pizza.

Crazy Life; October 25, 2011

This past week went by so fast. I was busy at work last week getting ready to miss that Friday. Friday was the service for my cousin. It was hard of course, but with all the family there it made things easier. He was cremated so there was no showing, which was different. I had not been to a cremation funeral before. It kind of felt not real still, like he was going to show up soon and tell us all it was a joke. It was different and hard to explain. The kids were rotten that day, which made it hard to focus on mourning. Neither of them napped the entire day (despite a 2 hour car drive) so they were just a mess by the 6 pm service. Five minutes before it started Addison peed all over a cloth arm chair. I know my cousin was looking down laughing his ass off.

Saturday the whole family went to the campground where Tim and Angie were camping. They have a big Halloween party and trick or treating. The girls all had a lot of fun. Addison kept saying "more candy!" This lady gave her a chocolate bar at one stop and she said "Whoa, you gave me chocolate!" in a really excited voice. It was adorable.

This week has been more work and the usual crap.

Addison has been pretty crabby lately. Actually, not crabby, just moody. She will be having fun and laughing and then bam, a screaming mess. She has been very 2 lately. Her fits are increasing in strength and she is becoming quite defiant. We'll work through it, it's just part of her development, but it still makes mama want to drink. She is her usual hysterical self though and when she is being sweet, damn she is sweet. She is so kind and snuggly and loves her brother to pieces. She is still obsessed with her Belle dress and asks to wear it every single day. Today she insisted I put my "Belle dress" (wedding dress) on. Yesterday for some reason she noticed our wedding pic on the wall and said "ooooh, wow, look, princess mommy!" On Saturday though she called me ugly. I had a shirt with a saying on the back on and she pointed to it and said "It says, ugly mommy." Then last night she said "Mommy, do you see the moon anywhere?" and I said "No, but it must be somewhere" and she replied with "I think it's in my butt." Oh that kid!!!

Ian is finally getting better!!! He isn't pouring snot buckets anymore and is my happy little guy again. He is a terror around the house though. He gets into absolutely everything and terrorizes the dog to no end. Poor Sidney. Today he played in the dog water bowl, pooped all up his back, then puked all over the floor, then pooped out the side of his diaper, then chewed on Sidney's ear, then went back to the dog bowl, then he found a partial bag of popcorn in a diaper bag and ate some and spread the rest all over the floor, etc. Crazy baby!!! His little tooth is so cute. It's about halfway through now. He doesn't have any others yet, just the one. He's finally good at doing a chewing motion so doesn't gag dramatically on poofs anymore. He's gotten real peas, a breadstick, banana, and a few other things and managed to not choke. He was gagging a bit tonight on his banana, but I think he was tired.

I'm tired.

Tough Times; October 18, 2011

Today is also my uncle's memorial service but it's several states away so we will not be there. I only saw him a handful of times in my life, but my heart goes out to my mom and grandma. I know they are hurting.

The kids are keeping me busy and distracted today, which helps. I'm sure I'll meltdown when they go to bed tonight but for now I'm holding strong. He is going to be cremated and there is visitation Friday from 4-6 pm and then a memorial service at 6 pm. It's going to be so hard. We can't really board Sidney due to health issues so we will be driving up for the day and heading home late that night.

Ian had an ear recheck today and they still have puss in them. Poor baby!!! He is starting his 4th antibiotic now. Suuuuuucks. I hope this does it. His diarrhea has been so bad and this new med is supposed to be even worse for that. We are going to start him on a probiotic. I'm hesitant to give him dairy yet with the issues Addison has had. I hope it works. He was 21 lbs 4 oz today. He also had his flu shot. The pedi said as long as he was fever free it was okay for him to have. It worked out well because his 9 month appt is in a month so he will have his second one then. He didn't even cry. He wimpered for about 1 second and that was it. My tough guy.

Addison did good for her blooddraw. She remembered the place though so was pretty upset when we walked in the room. She laid still with big tears pouring down her face saying "daddy hold me, hold me!!!" I decided to skip her flu shot today, one needle was enough for the day. If we could have done then at the same time that would have been nice, but they are in different buildings. For her nap this afternoon it took her an hour and 10 minutes to fall asleep! Little stinker was in her bed playing and yelling for me. I went in there 3 times and was going to give her 5 more minutes and she finally fell asleep.

She went down just in time for Ian to get up. No rest for mama today!


My mind is such a fog. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack and my heart is racing a lot. I have so many things running through my mind. It's very intense. I know things will settle down given time, it's just hard right now. I've been very clingy to Josh. I just need him around a lot right now and I don't do well when left alone because my mind wonders and worries. I probably drove him nuts with my million texts today, but he is being sweet and supportive.

I'm going to shower and get to bed. Hopefully a full night's rest will help too. Ian has been getting up at night since he first got sick... the beginning of September. For a while there he got up 2-3 times a night but now it's only once. Still sucks though!!! I can't let him CIO when he is sick and teething though. Even this tough mama isn't that mean!

Shocked and Heartbroken; October 17, 2011

My cousin passed away this morning. I'm trying to just get through my morning classes and then get out of there. I feel like I'm walking around in a circle right now.

This is him pictured with his niece and a little girl I do not know. Even though he was my cousin, I always thought he was such a good looking guy. Not in a creepy way though. He would have totally made that creepy just to fuck with me. God I will miss him so much. We have always been pretty close. His mom married my uncle (dad's brother) when we were about 5. He was just one of those people that make you smile and laugh when he is around. When he turned 18 he snuck down to Evansville (about 2 hours south of Terre Haute where most my extended family still lives) to go to strip clubs. Him, his friend, Josh, and me all went to a couple that night and it was quite the time. My parents ended up finding out he came but never told his parents. We used to talk on the phone a lot, but since I had Ian I hadn't talked to him much, if even just once. I hate that now. I hate I let my busy life get in the way. I will never get to hear his voice again, that makes me sick. He never even got to meet Ian or see our new house. I hate this. I hate this so much.

And his poor mom and brothers. They lost their grandma last year, then our grandpa, and now Adam. This is so fucked up.

Praying; October 16, 2011

It's been a rough few days for our family. Thursday my uncle passed away (mom's brother). It is very sad to lose him but good he is at peace. He was suffering terribly.

Today we got word that my 30 year old cousin is critically ill. He started throwing up blood this morning and my aunt and uncle took him to the ER. They found his liver was bleeding badly and he coded. They were able to revive him. Later on the doctors told the family there was no hope, but then said they found an artery they could repair and now it's up in the air again. His BP has been stable this evening and there is no sign of new bleeding. I'm in shock really and so damn sick to my stomach. We have always been close and this is just unbelievable. I have functioned okay today when I'm busy with the kids but once I'm alone I'm losing it. I don't want to lose my cousin.

Now for my normal life update. Ian seems like he *might* be finally improving a *little*. I'll take it though. That poor baby shit 10 times yesterday, some solid some watery!!! Today it was only about 6 and was more solid. He gets his ears rechecked on Tuesday. He is still really snotty, such a nasty illness he has caught.

Addison is sick now. She is snotty as can be and sounds so stuffy. She kept telling me her belly and back hurt yesterday, but didn't say that today. Her poo is still loose but finally not runny. I hope whatever she has passes quickly and doesn't torture her as long as Ian's has.

I'm worried about something else with her. I got a call Friday morning from her GI and she needs some repeat labs done. Her last ones showed high calcium and high reactive lymphocytes. They said they have had a couple of high calcium readings lately so are going to recalibrate the machine and make sure that isn't the issue so we will see. Of course I had to google and I've found a couple of things. If the calcium was a fluke because of the machine then the lymphocytes could have been a virus she was fighting. If they are both actually high it could be lymphoma, but I am guessing she would have other symptoms and off bloodwork. It's always nerve-wrecking to deal with stuff like this and your child.

Friday we closed on our house refinance. If we stay on track with our plan our mortgage will be paid off when Ian graduates from high school. That evening we had pizza and just hung out at home. Saturday Josh and I both had to work so my mom sat with the kids. That evening Cheryl and her kids came up for dinner and we had a fire and made smores. Funny story: Cheryl and I made a tray of graham crackers with chocolates on them so we were all ready to make the smores when the marshmellows finished cooking. Cheryl looks towards the table and says "so much for the smores". When I look I see Addison and Makayla walking towards us, both with mouths shoved full of chocolate and more in their hands. The little stinkers had gotten on the table and eaten most the chocolate!!!

Today we went to church, then had a picnic, and then to the pumpkin patch. It was the entire crew minus Tim who was out of town. The kids were all good but the place was packed and it was hot today. The people were assholes too. Watch your damn kid!!!

Off to try to get some sleep.

Little Witch; October 13, 2011

I had an irritating morning. I was suppose to have my methocoline challenge today (asthma test), but after an hour of back and forth phone calls they wouldn't do it since I'm breastfeeding. I had already talked to Dr. Hale's group and was told to pump and dump for the next 5 hours, but nooooo, the pharmacists thinks he knows more. Ugh! I didn't care I couldn't do the test, but I did care my entire morning was pissed away. Ah well, such is life.

I had a nasty workout with my trainer (bitch) then picked up some new volleyball shoes and got the kids. We went to Cheryl's for dinner and she got the Halloween costume box out. We had fun trying stuff on:

Addison fell in love with the witch costume so she is going to wear that for a couple of pre-Halloween events and then wear her Belle on Halloween. She makes a damn cute witch. And yes, my mean ass sister put Ian in a sunflower costume. Poor little guy looks so gay.

I had a volleyball game tonight so Josh took the kids home. We won 2 of 3 games and it was super fun. The other team was really good (not like last week's team whose ass we totally whooped) so it was good competition. The kids were awful for Josh though, poor daddy. While he was giving Ian a bath Addison pooped her pants. It's still loose so it made a huge mess. He got her cleaned up and gave her a bath while Ian sat in his bed screaming until he was hoarse. It sucks he is doing that, but we just can't hold him 24 hours a day with a toddler around so he is going to have to learn to get over it. Hopefully when these teeth pop through he will chill. He doesn't really act like he hurts though, he just wants full on attention. He played nicely by himself at Cheryl's while we all ate so I had high hopes for the evening, nope, total meltdown.

I'm glad the weekend is almost here. It was a short week for me but I'm really exhausted.

Ian's weight recently:

10/4/11 - 20 lbs 9 oz
10/10/11 - 20 lbs 12 oz

Addison at the GI:

10/4/11 - 27.6 lbs and 36.5 inches

I Hate Germs; October 12, 2011

We are still full of shit at our house. Both kids STILL have diarrhea. Poor things.

Sunday Addison and I went to church then did some shopping for my mom's birthday. We headed home (with the wrong order from Sonic, bastards) and let the kids nap then went to my parent's to celebrate my mom's birthday. She turned 62 on Saturday. It was a good time. My dad made a yummy dinner and cake and then we all headed outside to play kickball. Madeline said it was "the most fun old people party" she had ever been too. I would have to agree. I looked around during kickball and was amazed how many kids we all have now.

Monday I was off for fall break and Josh was off for Columbus Day. We were going to take the kids to the zoo but Ian woke up full of snot and was obviously not feeling well. Instead Josh took Addison for donuts then me and her headed off to the zoo, no boys allowed. It was super fun. She cracks me up constantly and I can't even remember it all but she is damn funny. She really enjoyed the "rhinosaur". She said she wanted to walk instead of ride in the stroller so I didn't bring one, which was odd not to have. I just had her and a little tiny backpack with extra undies in it. She ended up getting tired and so I carried her more than I had planned, but it was good exercise. After the zoo we met Josh and Ian at the doctor and after a week of antibiotics the poor little guy still has pussy (pussss-eeeee, not the other word) ears. The pedi switched him to a different antibiotic and I'm hoping this does the trick. We had lunch and then Josh took the kids home for naptime and I did some shopping. Addison slept almost 4 hours! We missed music class but that was okay because she doesn't seem to like it much anymore. We played outside as a family that evening and it was nice to just relax.

Yesterday was quite the day. Ian took a good nap so Addison and I had fun playing, but the afternoon was wild. Ian is into EVERYTHING now and I mean EVERYTHING. Addison was so god about leaving things alone but not this kid, he wants everything he isn't supposed to have. I had to pry him off the dog like 20 times yesterday. He crawls on her, eats her ear, pulls all her hair out, and she just lays there! I can't believe she doesn't even get up to move, she just lets him. I'm worried though one day she won't feel well and will bite him so we have to keep moving him off of her. If he wasn't torturing Sidney he was beating on the glass cabinet, taking off down the hallway, crawling up on stools, boxes, and anything and everything he could find. He is pulling up now and standing holding on for a short time. And when he wasn't into something he was crawling after me screaming at the top of his lungs. He spent most of the afternoon screaming. I was laying Addison down for a nap (which she never took, just played in her bed) and he came screaming in there with his ear piercing shriek. I had planned on making a nice ham dinner that evening, which I did while he yelled and clawed my leg, and then Josh ended up having to work late so it was just me and the kids eating it. AAHHHHHH!!! Rough day.

I'm back at work today, which is much more relaxing.


Forgot to post earlier, I'm sick again! WTF? It's been non-stop lately. My throat is raging sore and my glands are swollen. Tomorrow is my asthma test, I hope it doesn't kill me. I hate that test, makes me nervous.

Ian was a screaming beast again tonight. He looks right at you and screams at the top of his lungs until his face turns all red. As soon as he gets what he wants he stops. It's not cute. What was cute was him saying mama about 5 times tonight. He looked right at me too.

Addison was whiny but decent for me tonight. She said "Why are you not pretty mommy? I'm pretty." Stinker!!!

Diarrhea Cha Cha Cha; October 8, 2011

It's been diarrhea city around here for 3 days now!!! Let me backtrack...

Thursday - Josh had an early meeting so I was flying solo in the morning and BOTH kids had diarrhea. I think Addisons was either a virus that has been going around that gives no ther symptoms but the runs, or it was the apple cider she had on Tuesday (usually she will have diarrhea the next day though). Ian's is from his antibiotic. It was funk nasty in here! I managed though and even got to work 10 minutes earlier than usual plus I put dinner in the crock pot! My day was busy as heck from there... I had morning meetings, then had to build a project in the lab to prove my students wrong, fire alarm was pulled, then it was off to the festival for lunch, a really tough workout with my trainer (bitch), went shoe shopping, picked the kids up, fed everyone dinner, vacuumed the house, gave Addison a bath, and then it was the first night of our new volleyball league. Playing again was super fun and our team whooped ass!!! The kids were still up when I got home so we put them to bed and I showered and passed out cold.

Friday - It was a good day. Both kids still had diarrhea but were pleasant. My muscles were aching from the day before but I still managed to have fun at wallyball. My feet are pissed at me, my ass is burning, and I pulled a muscle in my inner thigh. Oh, and I took a hard ass spike by this huge dude right to the face. It was square on my nose but I took it like a champ. It hurt like hell but no way was I letting anyone know that!!! Josh had to work late so the kids and I picked up a pizza and just played at home, outside of course since Addison is a swing junkie. When Josh got home we had movie night and watched Beauty and the Beast for the first time, even though Addison already loves Belle without ever seeing the movie. She was so damn cute!!! The part was Belle and Beast dance came on and she insisted on putting her Belle dress on too. She stood right in front of the tv and swayed and spun to the song. It seriously made me teary eyed and I'm no sap!!! She is adorable, precious as can be, and I love her to pieces!!!

Today - We headed back to the festival. My parents were watching Savannah so we picked her up and left Ian with them so the girls could ride rides. They had a ton of fun and were really good for us. They are so cute together. Tonight we went to Josh's uncle's birthday party and Addison had a blast. She was so hyper. Ian was really tired but being good too. When we got home I hurt my damn foot. I stepped on a toy in the dark and twisted my ankle. The bottom of my foot swelled up quickly and now it is throbbing. Great.

I love how Ian is all over the place now. He crawled over to me today and was climbing up my leg. He is trying like crazy to stand up. He can't quite get up on his feet but gets on his knees. It's really cute. Addison is getting better about him playing with all her stuff. I think she is realizing there is no stopping the little guy!

Double Ear Infection!; October 5, 2011

You know, we think our kids are pretty adorable and special, but what parent doesn't? Do you ever wonder if your kid is actually ugly and you just have parent goggles? Plus no one is going to tell you that your kid is ugly so you would never know. I'm 100% positive my kids are adorable, but you never really know what the world thinks.

Anyway, enough deep thoughts.

Poor Ian has a double ear infection and is teething. I feel just awful for him!!! He is amazingly pleasant though for going through so much. When he is awake he is as happy as can be, but it's disturbing his sleep. Last weekend when he got up several times I night I just assumed teeth. Well yesterday at naptime he was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs and just wouldn't settle down so I felt like something was off. He has been snotty for weeks but hasn't had anything else. The pedi got him in right away and sure enough, double ear infection. I feel bad I like him go for so long, but he was just so darn happy during the day I didn't think it was anything. Oh, and he weighed 20 lbs 9 oz!!!

Addison's GI appointment was yesterday and all tests came back normal. That is good except now it means she is lactose intolerant. I asked if she would grow out of that, nope, it will only get worse with time. That sucks because an allergy she could have grown out of but this she is stuck with forever. It's not the end of the world but will be a huge pain in the ass. The GI said we could try lactaid and see how that works for her. Avoiding dairy isn't that hard for every day things, but for stuff like ice cream at birthday parties, etc. it is hard because she can't have what the other kids are eating. She has been doing great since we started avoiding milk and limiting her fruits so at least we can control this. She can have some dairy, but definitely not straight milk. If she has milk it gives her raging diarrhea. Fortunately she likes the soy milk, which I drink too, and it says it has 50% more calcium in it. I hope she is getting enough with that and the dairy she does have. I hadn't really thought about that part. We generally give her 1-2 dairy items a day so she can have a piece of cheese and a yogurt, or a pudding, etc. Ice cream is tough because she has had major issues with even a single scoop. Do they make a soy ice cream? I need to investigate that one. Her GI said that her lactose issues will peak at around 6-7 years of age and then level off. He explained lots of the science behind it since he knows what I do for a living and I'm super nerdy. I appreciated that.

I have to share a story. The other day Ian is sitting in the living room playing while Addison was in her booster seat eating breakfast and watching Mickey. He was being really quiet except for some thumb sucking, which isn't like him so I went to investigate. It turns out Addison was tossing him globs of oatmeal and he was gobbling them right up!!! He had oatmeal all over his face, bibs, hand, and the floor. He was begging like a little dog and she was obliging. That pair is trouble I tell you!!!

Yesterday we went to the fall festival and Addison rode all the rides she possibly could. The more wild they were the better for her. That girls is nuts. Last weekend we went to Gattitown (like Chuck E Cheese but with a buffet) and she rode the frog hopper. It's a ride that they go up and down real fast in, like a drop type of ride. I thought she would be terrified because the big kids were screaming but she laughed her ass off. That's my girl!

I am feeling fat and pleased about it. Last night at the fall festival I had a fried tenderloin, chicken and dumpings, puppy chow, and apple cider. Today for lunch I hate fried green beans (amazing!!!), fried mac n cheese, fried green tomaotes, BBQ meatballs, corn on a stick, and fried cookie dough. Josh got an "eagle egg", which is a hard boiled egg covered in sausage and fried. Holy shit was it good!!!

My milk supply in the freezer is getting quiet large. I don't know the total but I managed to freeze 246 ounces in September alone. Go boobies go!!! Right now we are using July's milk so there is quiet a lot in there.

I'm amazed... Addison is still the best teether ever!!! She has gotten 3 of her 2 year molars sometime very recently, like within the last few weeks, and never said a word. She is awesome! The 4th molar I can see but isn't through the skin yet. Seriously, she is the toughest kid I know.

Ian is doing remarkably well with his teeth. His first one is officially through and he has 3 more getting very close. He is pleasant as can be still. A double ear infection and teeth and he is happy? We are so lucky with these two kids!!!

Tonight I was cutting Ian's fingernails and Addison said "I need to go pee pee." I said "Hang on one second I'm almost done" and she proceeds to sigh loudly and says "FINE! I'll go by myself!" She kills me. Oh, and tonight at gymnastics she wasn't listening so Josh said "Addison, you are being a very bad girl." She replied with "No, I'm being a good girl, kiss my booty" and stuck her ass up in the air!!! HOLY SHIT THAT IS FUNNY!!! That kid!!!

My mom arrived back home early this morning from visiting her brother. She said he is much worse than she expected. He is in and out right now of alertness and hasn't eaten in days. He won't make it much longer. She is really heartbroken and I feel for her.

We Suck Again!; October 3, 2011

I'm good, sore as a mutha right now. Josh and I ran in the Diamond Dash again yesterday (downtown scavanger hunt for a diamond). We lost (again) but had fun and ran a ton! It felt good to run but daaaaamn does it hurt today.

Happy 2.5 Years Addison!; September 30, 2011

Addison is way into birthdays right now and keeps telling me that she's going to get a birthday cake and be 3! I guess she is ready for some cake! The first few days of Ian being mobile was a battle with her toys, but she is getting better now. He came over and knocked down all her stuff she had set up and she was so pissed. She yells really hateful at him and I just want to crack up. "Don't touch my Minnie Mouse, play with your cars, BABY!" She likes to shove him over, Makayla too, but that is getting better as well. She is quite possessive of her stuff, especially for a kid who has grown up sharing at daycare. She is very into swinging in the big girl swing right now and still loves being outside. That's my girl! I think she is getting bored at music class but still has a blast at gymnastics. And her favorite days are any day she gets to play with her cousins!!!

She is just an amazing little girl full of personality and I love that. She is complex and keeps us on our toes. Her language still amazes me and when you talk to her you feel like you are speaking to a 5 year old. I love watching her play and pretend. She likes to make up stories for books too, which cracks me up. The kid has a huge imagination.

Happy 8 Months Ian!; September 28, 2011

Ian is the happiest little guy ever now. He is so pleased he can move around! He plays so quietly and for so long on the floor now. He only gets pissed if he is tired or hungry. He's finally starting to venture out of the living room and was crawling to me while cooking yesterday. He's so stinking cute. Last weekend we switched him to his big boy carseat. No more carrying that damn heavy ass carrier!!! It makes me a little sad though because he looks like such a big boy. He is now bigger than Addison was at a year old so he seems older to me, which makes me sad. He's very much a cuddly baby still though. His first tooth is about to come through. Yesterday we could feel the sharpness of it on his bottom center-left. This morning I could hardly feel it again though because his gums are so swollen. He's woke up in the middle of the night the last 3 nights screaming and I'm pretty sure it's those teeth bothering him. Poor booger.

He isn't doing so well with poofs anymore. He keeps gagging in a very dramatic fashion on them so we are holding them and will try again in a few weeks. He loves his jarred food and will gobble up as much as he can hold. He isn't taking in as much milk anymore, but still plenty by his weight gain!

Good Day; September 27, 2011

Thankfully the blood draw went very smoothly. She was not happy about it, of course, but she sat really still and sounded like she was crying but never shed a tear. She got a little misty eyed and said "mommy, no, daddy, no, I need to go pee pee, no, I'm a good girl, I need to go pee pee, no..." etc. and so on. She didn't need to go pee pee, she just wanted out of there. But, they got her blood to flow easily, she sat still so didn't rip the thing out this time, and was over it all as soon as she got a couple of stickers and a sucker. They said she was the best toddler they have had in a while.

She had a good zinger last night. She was watching Cinderella and said "Look, Cinderella's got her man and I've got my daddy!" That a girl, all you need is your daddy for a looooong time. She has gotten even more hysterical lately. The way she talks is just so grown up and it's hilarious. Josh walked in on Addison and her grandpa watching Mickey and she pointed to the door and said "Daddy, go!" very strong. She's so sassy.

Ian is picking up speed quick! He was all over the place today. I forgot though how they can chase you once they start crawling. He whines and cries while trying to chase us down. It's cute but makes me sad because I've got stuff to do. He was trying to steal Addison's toys today out of her hands and she was NOT pleased. She shoved him and said "Don't touch my Minnie BABY, go play with your cars!!!" Yesterday in the car he was fussing and she said "Baby, YOU'RE WAKING ME UP, BE QUIET!!!" He is a noisy little guy. He must have a future as an annoucer or something. I forgot to share something the other day. I was hesitant to give him poofs on Sunday because he doesn't have a pincher grasp yet. Well, the second we laid the poofs on the table he went after then with a perfect pinch. I guess I hadn't given him anything small enough to pinch yet so really didn't know he could do it. Sneaky little booger. He had a baby food with meat again today, he hated it just like the one the other night.

Today both kids napped for 3 hours at the same time!!! That NEVER happens here. It was amazing! Of course I kept expecting someone to wake up so I spent most of the time playing Angry Birds. I did manage to fix dinner and ice the cupcakes though and then Josh and I had dinner alone, at home, with the kids sleeping. Amazing!

I cut the front yard tonight. It was pretty dark when I was finishing so I'm hoping I don't wake up to a mohawk in the yard.

Now for downer news... My grandma's roommate at the nursing home passed away. She really liked her and is feeling even more lonely now. Poor grandma. Josh's grandpa was taken my ambulance to the hospital today and he is bleeding internally. They are working to figure out from where and what they can do to fix it. And one of my mom's brothers has cancer and has been put on hospice care. I'm not sure how much time they are saying but I don't think it's more than a couple of months, max.

Speedy; September 26, 2011

It's so nice to feel like I'm going to survive! I was seriously getting worried I had meningitis or cancer or something crazy. I just would NOT get better, it was awful. Anyway, on the mend now. It must have been some super insane virus. I called my doc on Friday to be seen and they are closed on Fridays. Seriously? I don't like that much but really hate trying to find doctors.

Anyway, so Ian had a big weekend. His crawling is sooo cute and sooo slow. He moves each hand very carefully while keeping his eye on the prize (whatever he is crawling too). It just melts my heart!!! Sometimes he gets lazy and cheats by belling flopping there, but he mostly stays up on his hand and knees. He's such a cute little dude. He also had his first table food, green beans from Cracker Barell. He had poofs for the first time this weekend too and baby food with meat in it, which he hated. He's growing up too fast!!! He really became a daddy's boy this week with Josh being his primary caregiver. It makes me a little sad but on Wednesday he did say mama! He looked right at me too and said "mama". He looks at Josh now when he says "dada" so he knows what they mean. Adorable!!!

Addison is doing well. She cried big tears this morning because she didn't want to go to daycare and that broke my heart. Poor thing. She is her usual funny self other than that though. The other day she told me while coloring "mommy, I need a new page, this page sucks." She is loving dress up stuff right now. At Cheryl's there is a big tub of princess dress up clothes and she will play with it for hours. She puts on a princess costume, shoes, crown, and beads and then twirls for everyone. She loves to put her arms up and dance like Cinderella. She's great. She asks damn near everyday to go to Disneyworld. I can't wait to take her in December!

Josh was super dad this week. He took awesome care of me, the kids, the house, and the dog. Yesterday before noon he had cooked breakfast, lunch, vacuumed the entire house, mopped all the tile floors, and baked chocolate chips cookies! He rocks!!!

Sidney had a bleed on Saturday. She always has bloody sneezes, but this was fresh, bright red blood. She has not done that in a while and it sucks. Other than that she is doing well though. No more pee issues yet, KNOCK ON WOOD!!!


Holy crapola Ian is crawling fast today!!! It didn't take him long to figure out how to go faster! I have a video on facebook of his slow cautious crawl, it's so cute. I need to get a new one of this speedy crawl he has going on.

Addison was FULL of energy today, holy smokes! I'm looking forward to spending the day with the kids tomorrow since last week I felt so awful. We have to get Addison's bloodwork done though and I am NOT looking forward to that. Oh my goodness, it is 9:50 pm and I just heard her talking in her bed still. GO TO SLEEP WILD CHILD!

Crawling!!!; September 25, 2011

I am finally getting better! I need sleep so will update tomorrow but had to stop in to share this... Ian is crawling!!! It is so adorable too!

Ugh!; September 23, 2011

Still sick, very sick. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Damnit; September 21, 2011

I'm doing pretty bad still. My fever was 102.5 last night but I still tried to work this morning. I made it through my morning classes and then the diarrhea hit again. I almost didn't make it to the bathroom. I left work and spent the day at my parents and my dad took good care of me. Thank goodness for Josh tonight too!!! He was supposed to bowl but surprised me by pre-bowling and taking care of me and the kids this evening. I wouldn't have survived the night alone. This sucks.

One major highlight of the day was Ian saying mama!!! He was fussing on the floor and I bent down to talk to him and he looked right into my eyes and said "mama!" MELTED MY HEART!!!

Tomorrow I'm getting up at 3 am to leave for Indy for a conference. Cross your fingers I don't shit my pants there!!! Gotta get to bed.

I've never had diarrhea like this. I'm massively dehydrated too between diarrhea and breastfeeding. I am so nauseous I can't eat much so my calories are down. Between the lack of calories and dehydration my boobs are suffering. I'm not sure what else to do. I'm trying to eat whatever high caloric food my body will tolerate and sip beverages all day long.

Shitty, For Real; September 20, 2011

And today I have raging diarrhea and shit my pants. Lovely huh? Addison said "mommy had an accident and not me!" I can't wait to see how many people she tells that story to!

Stupid Monday; September 19, 2011

I took a damn trip to the ER today. I woke up at 3:30 am with severe chest pain that worsened when I took a breath. I had a 102.5 fever and I couldn't sleep the pain was so bad. I took tylenol and it helped the fever but the pain was still there. Josh took me to the ER after he dropped the kids off at daycare. He had to just drop me off since he is out of sick days, which was fine, I didn't need anything. They ran labs, urine, and did a chest x-ray. I having nothing major, just pleurisy and it will heal on its own. It's very painful but at least it isn't dangerous and will go away. I may have another respiratory infection too, we shall see.

Happy Monday!

Off to get some rest (hopefully). I'm exhausted from being up all night.

Life is Good; September 16, 2011

It's been a good week here. Ian still hasn't figured out how to move his hands to crawl. Poor guy keeps moving his legs only and face planting still. He did go from laying on his belly to sitting today all by himself! He's such a sweet baby. His eyes just sparkle and he loves his mommy, daddy, and sissy. He will look right at Josh now and say "dada" but still has no interest in saying mama. Little booger!

Addison is still my hysterical little girl. Her new obsession is the iPad. We just got it yesterday and she is totally digging it. She talks to the bird app like it's her friend and kisses him. It's adorable. She has a good friend at daycare now who is a year older than her and she told me she has a "new pretty friend". I've been loving our bedtime routine lately, even if it gets us both in trouble. I crawl in her crib and we sing songs and make shadow puppets until Josh comes in and tells me that is enough.

I had a good week of workouts and my legs are telling me to stop it. I'm loving it though and feeling fantastic.

Life is good. I love my family so much and my job ain't bad either.

Daddy Loves Balls; September 12, 2011

Ian is soooooo close to crawling. He will move one leg and then the other, but he doesn't get to move his hands forward so he face plants. I won't be surprised if we pick him up from daycare any day this week to find out he started crawling. I hate we will likely miss it. He's such a cute, loud little booger.

The weekend was good. Saturday Josh and Addison went to gymnastics in the morning (a makeup class from when she was sick) while Ian and I played at home. Then I did some shopping during nap time and we went to Makenzie's birthday party at the campground. It was beautiful out! Today is her actual birthday so we are heading there after music class for cake.

Sunday Addison had us cracking up all day. First, we were at church and she went to the bathroom with Josh. He said she peed then her eyes got real big and she said "I peed on Jesus's toilet!" Then she said "Daddy, you wiping me with Jesus's paper?" A side note: there is much debate as to whether you type Jesus's or Jesus'. There are old historical rules and newer rules, which results in a huge debate. I clearly just picked a side but agree with both. Anyway...

Then at night when Josh and Addison were watching Cinderella there was this conversation:

Addison: Cinderella is going balling.
Josh: Oh yeah, she is going to the ball.
Addison: My daddy and grandpa go balling all the time!

So I guess every Wednesday she thinks daddy is going to a ball. Cracking me up!!!!!!!!! Other zingers from the weekend: when I asked her what she wanted to sing she tapped her chin with her finger and said "think, think, think" and when Josh asked her if she was a good girl she said "No, I'm a REALLY REALLY REALLY good girl".

I love that kid!!!

Sweet Kids; September 9, 2011

I haven't been posting much since I don't have a lot of free time anymore. I really don't have much to say either. Wednesday night was Josh's bowling night and I always get a little nervous about getting home, getting the kids fed, and getting everyone to bed on time. It went beautifully though! It was one of those days where I could have 100 more kids. They both ate good, were in awesome moods, we played outside and had fun, and they went to bed easily. Yesterday when I picked them up was a different story. Oye they were both so crabby. I loaded them into the car and they both had tears pouring down their faces. They settled down once we got home though. Addison said 3 times "I missed you today mommy." I think they both missed me. Makes me sad but it's so sweet too.

Addison has been crying lately when you tell her no. She used to just stop doing whatever it was, then she got to the fit stage, and the yelling back no stage, but now she just bursts into tears if she gets told no. I guess it's another stage but it's a hard one because you feel so sad for her. I'm not going to cuddle her when she is in trouble though. She is such a sweet big sister. Yesterday she was in Ian's face singing to him and he was just smiling and laughing.

Ian is doing well. He is rocking on all fours now! I can't seem to snap a pic, but it is really cute. He can get pretty much anywhere he wants to go right now but it takes him forever. He will be happy when he can crawl, but Sidney and Addison will not be as pleased.

Makenzie's birthday is Monday so this weekend we have her party at the campground. It should be a good time if the weather stays nice. We have been playing outside every night and it's just wonderful to feel the cool air. That's about it for the weekend.

Naked Baby; September 6, 2011

I need to do some serious shopping. My poor baby boy is going to be naked this week with the cool temps. He seriously has 2 long sleeve shirts, TWO! It got cold so fast I didn't have time to shop. He has a lot of pants so I thought we would have some time in short sleeves and pants, but the temp dropped too fast. Poo. He needs PJs badly too but I haven't found a killer deal yet, just okay ones.

I think Ian is working very hard on his 2 bottom teeth. Addison didn't get any until afer 9 months but his are looking like they could be just a couple of weeks away. We'll see. He woke up in the middle of the night and tried and tried to go back to sleep but he just couldn't. He needed a boob to knock his ass back out.

Addison slept until almost 10 am this morning! She hasn't done that in a long time because the little stinker wakes her up screaming. I kept him in our room all morning though and let her get some good rest. She's still being a little moody. She is happy and playful one minute and the next she is a whiny mess. Girls!

11.5 Hours!!!; September 4, 2011

Josh ended up pretty sick on Saturday but is starting to recover now. He never got a fever, just cold symptoms. Hopefully the sickies are done with, for now anyway. It's definitely those nasty college germs and I have to touch everyone's nasty papers.

Yesterday was Savannah's 3rd birthday party. It was at a swimming park so as soon as Addison saw that she was done with the party. She acted like a little ass saying "I want to swim" every 0.52 seconds. She drove us nuts!!! Of course once the party was over and we swam she was happy. It never fails though, before we left she fell and had blood running down her leg. She ended up with some nasty scrapes on both knees and feet. They are not pretty and still hurting her when she bends or baths. I feel bad for her because she keeps saying ouchy. Josh and Ian went home and didn't swim since Josh felt like crap and it was too hot for Ian. I don't want him out when there are ozone alerts and it was near 100.

Ian is still really congested. He is snoring on the monitor right now. It's making it hard for him to eat still so he's tearing my nips up. We had him sleeping great after our tough love weeks ago and this illness messed it all up. We were of course getting him when he cried at night because no way will I let a sick kid cry it out. So he was a mess again. Friday night it took an hour of crying and a bottle of water before he fell back asleep. Then last night he slept 11.5 straight hours!!! That is his longest stretch ever! He woke up once and whimpered, it wasn't even a cry, for a few minutes and that was it.

Tomorrow is Labor Day and I have to work. I am only teaching my morning classes though and then heading home. I got my schedule for next semester and all my classes are on Tuesday/Thursday. I'm going to work Tuesday through Thursday and then take off Friday to Monday. 3 days of work then 4 days off is going to rock!

Oh, one more thing, I knew I would jinx it as soon as I said Addison had been accident free for a long time. Tonight she was sitting on the couch and said "Mommy, I no pee pee my panties." I said "okay, good". Well, she didn't pee pee, she PISSED... EVERYWHERE!!! There was so much piss on the couch that I didn't know about until I picked her up and put her on my lap. Gross. I had to throw her in the tub there was so much piss!

Whew!; September 2, 2011

Addison is fine. They checked her urine and it had some slight protein in it, but that is probably due to irritation. She had some discharge and slight redness the pedi could see so she said treat it as a yeast infection. She wasn't overly concerned and said it should clear up fine. We are using Lotramin 2 times a day for a week. Addison was not pleased about the appointment, but she did great. This was the first time I've had to catch her pee in a cup and it went very easily. She would have overflowed the cup had I not gotten out of there. It was much better than her last urine test, which was a catheter. That was traumatic! I also talked to the pedi about my fears/worries of someone hurting her and causing this issue. She said it was good to aware of things like that but not to worry she sees absolutely no signs of that whatsoever.

Oh, and I haven't mentioned this, at least I don't think, but Addison hasn't had a pee or poop accident in well over a week now. She is even staying dry at night and naptime! I still haven't braved it and put panties on her when sleeping though. She doesn't mind the pullups so I figure why risk it. She's rocking it. She turned 2 years and 5 months the other day. She is pretty mature for her age though in her actions and speech. Such a sweetie. Today after the doc me and her met Savannah, Tim, and Angie at Gattitown (pizza buffet and arcade) for lunch to celebrate Savannah's 3rd birthday. It was fun but sure pushed me getting back to work before my afternoon class. I didn't have time to drive her back up north to daycare so dropped her off with my dad and grandma and she napped there.

Ian is doing good. As chubby and cute as ever. The pedi Monday at after hours said his bottom teeth looked close to coming in and daycare said he has been extra slobbery. He did come home today with a red ass, which does not please me. He had a nasty amoxicillin poo the other day so I suppose that could have been it at naptime.

I scored a great deal on Ian's baby food. BRU has it 20 jars for $10 and they are usually $0.99 a jar! Then I had $1 off 4 jars to combine the sale with. So I got 80 jars of food for $20!!! He should be stocked until he moves to stage 3's now.

Josh feels like he is getting sick tonight. Noooooooooooooo!

Worried; September 1, 2011

I just noticed tonight Addison is having brown discharge. I'm going to call the pedi in the morning. She has been having it for several days now, but I kept thinking it was skid marks. She had stinky farts last night and I was afraid she was going to have diarrhea today so I asked her sitter if she had any issues. She said no, she didn't even poop today. When we got home though she had brown in her panties and when I wiped her. I brushed it off as a small shart and changed her panties. Well the next time she went potty, more brown. I'm concerned, but thinking it's either some hormonal shifts (she has been weepy lately), an infection, or yeast. Today on the way home she said out of the blue "mommy, my butts still broken." It's not funny she hurts, but funny how she said it.

Last night I started feeling bad again and Ian came home puking more than ever. It was EVERYWHERE! Addison was still sick and needing held so I called my mom up.

More Sickies; August 31, 2011

I'm still not 100% but getting better everyday. It's amazing how something like that can knock you down, oye!!! Yesterday I was feeling so exhausted still and getting dizzy and sweaty easily. The kids were ANGELS and thank goodness because I felt like I was going to die. Josh had to come home early to save me because I just couldn't do it anymore and I was hardly doing anything to begin with!

I decided to call the after hours pedi when Ian got home Monday. Josh was at Kindermusik with Addison. Ian was just super fussy and not himself so when Josh got Addison home he took Ian to the doc. The poor little guy has his first ear infection. Quick side note, he weighed 20 lbs 2 ounces! HOLY SHIT! Sunday and Monday nights were rough, especially Sunday, but last night he slept great and this morning had hardly any snot.

During the day yesterday Addison got warmer and warmer and ended up with fever over 102 by bedtime. This morning it was the same, 102 ish so Josh's mom came and sat with her while I taught my morning classes and I cancelled my afternoon class. She doesn't have to be at work until 1 and I got home by noon so it worked well. Poor baby girl. She is acting pretty pleasant so hopefully by tomorrow she will have kicked it. It's been weird having her here and not Ian. I miss the little guy but I am still recovering and wanted to focus my energy on her and her needs. Josh is going to bring him home from daycare before he goes and bowls.

Addison keeps telling me her butt hurts and by butt she means her girl parts because that is where she points. I tried to look there but she kept yelling ouchy and didn't want me to even look. When I finally managed too she was maybe a tad red, but I didn't see anything else going on. What the heck? I'm at a loss on this one. Yeast infection? UTI? Yesterday one time when she peed she said ouch when it started flowing, but she hasn't said that since. I don't want her hurting but also don't want to take her to the doc for unnecessary invasive ass tests, you know? I have this huge fear of someone molesting one of my kids. I asked her if anyone had touched her butt and she said "mommy!" Yes, I know mommy checked it but did anyone else? "Mommy!" So I suppose that fear is silly.

Addison is 28 months old today!

The FLU? In August???; August 29, 2011

Ian was up all night. He was in our bed from midnight on. I feel like hammered shit again today. He beat the crap out of me all night and I slept in odd positions to avoid suffocating him. I'm heading to the doc in an hour. I feel bad but I sent Ian to daycare. I'm too sick to care for him. He is sitll fever free (48 hours now) so I'm not sure what is going on with him. I told his sitter if he acts like his ears hurt or his fever returns call me.


I just got back from the doc... looks like I have the flu. It's not flu season here but with a rush of students from all over the world (it's still flu season in the south), I likely caught it at work. Go figure. I am feeling slightly better so hopefully tomorrow will be a big improvement.

The sitter said Ian is really fussy. I don't know whether to give him another day or call his pedi now.

Damn Germs / Happy 7 Months Ian!; August 28, 2011

Oh my goodness, I am so damn sick. I'm going to write this and go sleep. I felt okay this morning, just sore, which I thought was from wallyball on Friday. We gave the kids baths after breakfast then Addison and I headed to church while Josh stayed home to let Ian nap. After lunchtime my muscles started hurting extra bad and every single joint and my skin. Even my crotch is aching! It just kepting getting worse and I was laying in bed whimpering in pain. I am running 101 fever too. I also have a migraine, which is probably due to me grinding my teeth in pain. I took a lortab, a hot bath, and a shower and it helped, but it's worn off again. I just took tylenol. I really want another lortab but I'm too nauseous. Thank goodness I still have zofran around!!! So tomorrow is my 3rd lecture of the year and I'm not going to make it. Great.

Playing a little catch up...

Wednesday - The evening went fine because Josh's mom came home with us after gymnastics. I was glad to have the help because I wasn't feeling too good that night, mostly tired I think. This past week took a lot out of me, plus I started working out during the days again.

Thursday - I had no classes but got a lot done at work. That evening Josh discovered Addison's fishy had died. I was worried she would be upset, but didn't want to keep it from her. We took her in there and told her fishy had died and we would have to get a new one. She said "okay, bye fish" and waved to him as he went down the toilet. That was easy!

Friday - Work, wallyball, errands, and then I picked up the kids. I had not been able to play wallyball since I tore that tendon on Addison's first birthday (because after that I was pregnant with Ian and we all know how well that went). It felt sooooo great to play! Man did I love it and actually kicked a lot of ass if I do say so myself. My mom, Cheryl, Madeline, Makenzie, Makayla, Rick, and Madeline's friend all came up for dinner. It was quite a crowd but we all had fun and Addison loved following the big kids around.

Saturday - Josh had to work and Ian woke up with a nasty cold. He was snotty, coughing, and running a 101 fever. Poor guy. I felt awful for him and wasn't feeling great myself. I kept wheezing like crazy. Both kids were feeling clingy after their first full week away from me and I was overwhelmed so my mom came up to help. Thank goodness!!! In the evening we took Ian to my mom's and had a special night out with Addison at Chuck E Cheese. She needed some extra attention and it was fun. Cheryl and crew showed up halfway through and she always loves seeing them. We were worried we were in for a long night with Ian being so sick so went to bed early. Amazingly he slept 9.5 hours!!! That is longer than usual so the illness must have worn the little guy out.

Today - HAPPY 7 MONTHS IAN!!! Thankfully his fever was totally gone today. He still has lots of snots, but seems to be feeling much better. I'm so glad. I can't believe he is 7 months now! He still isn't crawling but has finally got up on all fours for a short bit here and there. He is good at spinning around on his belly and getting what he wants. He's a pretty pleasant little guy. He has started crying when we leave the room, reaches out for his sissy, loves his familiy very much, and still likes to gnaw and any and everything, his favorite being people. He doesn't have any teeth yet but that doesn't stop him from chowing down on baby food. The kid loves to eat. He's amazing and I love him to pieces.

Also, do you think these two kids might be related? HA!

And these two!!!

Back to School; August 24, 2011

Monday I had my yearly gyno appointment and took both kids with me. I was really worried but they were super good. They both just hung out in the stroller. Addison was double fisting suckers, but hey, it kept her quiet. We had "the talk" and she said I'm fine to have more kids, we will just monitor me closely. I was giddy after hearing that. I guess deep down I still want more, which I figured, but I was having moments of being done here and there. I called Josh to tell him and he got goosebumps... guess he isn't done either. We'll see what the future holds, but right now I'm thinking when Ian is 3 or 4 years old it will be time to expand our family.

Tuesday I had to work, boooooo. Josh had an early thing at work so I was solo getting the kids ready and off to daycare. I burnt my hand and took Ian in pukey PJs, but I made it. Addison was tired and kept asking to take a nap, poor kid. I was solo picking them up and getting them dinner too. It was rough. Ian wanted held because he missed me, but Addison wanted attention and food also. Again, we managed, but I was glad to see Josh get home.

Today was the first day of classes. I had all 3 already and they went well enough. It's amazing how much easier this teaching thing is now that I have a couple of years experience. I wasn't as prepared physically as I usually am with my nerdy binders, etc., but mentally I was able to just waltz on in and start babbling out semi-coherent crap.

Tonight is Josh's first night of bowling, blah!!! I really hate him bowling. It sucks to be busy all day at work and then have to play single mom all evening and arm wrestle kids through dinner and baths. I know it is important for him to do that, but where is my time? He says I should get involved in something but that doesn't work too well. First, I hate people. Second, I need to nurse Ian during the evenings after being away from him all day. Third, I miss the kids all day so I don't really want to miss them all evening.

Sleepover; August 21, 2011

It's been a good weekend here. Friday night we went over to Cheryl's to surprise everyone with Dilly Bars from DQ. Addison walks into her house with an arm full of Dilly Bars and says "surprise"... and no one was there but my mom. It was so sad. Cheryl, Rick, and Madeline had gone to the mall, Makenzie was next door, and Makayla was napping. Poor baby was so excited.

Saturday I had to direct humans for freshman move in day at work. It was hot and boring. After I got home Tim and Angie dropped Savannah off for her first overnight! It was her first time staying away from her parents and not at home. She did great! Her and Addison had a lot of fun. At naptime they took an hour to fall asleep because they kept giggling and talking about butts. My parents, grandma, and Makayla came up and fixed dinner and Josh made chocolate lava cakes. The girls took a bath together in our garden tub and loved that! Between both of their baths and Ians my back was shot for the evening, but it was still fun. They were so tired they went to bed easily, only took about 30 minutes for them to fall asleep. In the morning when they got up they started arguing like a little old married couple from their beds. It was hilarious!

We ate donuts and played for a shorttime and then Savannah left. Addison was tired from all the fun but at naptime she just played in her bed for 2 hours and didn't sleep. Stinker. We had dinner at my parents tonight then came home with two very sleepy kids...

Oh, I forgot, last night at dinner Addison looks at me and says "Fuck!" My grandma's eyes got pretty big so I said "No Addison, you don't need another fork" and she says "No mommy, I not saying fork, I saying fuck!" All I could think was ah fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Ian has been very pleasant since his shots. He had a good weekend too because there was lots of activity to watch. He's been eating 3 meals a day now and loves that, although I do worry he isn't getting enough milk when he fills up on food. We'll find the balance soon enough. He is such a kicker! The kid just kicks and kicks all day long. It's amazing his thighs stay so big. He's a sweetheart and a total mama's boy. He will be happy until I enter the room and then he fusses until I come over and talk to him. He doesn't like being left alone anymore unless it's nap or bedtime and he cries when strangers talk to him.

Hard Day; August 17, 2011

I am feeling much better now.

Yesterday was a good break for me. I missed them of course, but it was nice to work and get some errands ran. I went to BRU for a big clothing clearance sale and found a lot of good stuff for both kids. I got $840 worth of clothes for $235!!! Now let's just hope Ian is wearing 24 months next summer.

Last night Cheryl and the girls made a surprise stop by our house after dinner and it ended up a really fun evening. We all had a dance party and the girls loved it, I think the mamas did too. Josh baked us cookies while we were shaking our booties.

Today the kids and I had a great day together. I got some good time in with each. Ian had his 6 month checkup today. Stats:

Weight: 19 lbs 9 oz (74%) (last week he was weighed with clothes on)
Height: 27.5 in (73%)
Head: 45.5 cm (85%)

He is nice and porportionate. He got an oral vaccine and 2 shots. He shrieked really loud one time after his shots and that was it, he was happy and smiling again. What a tough little guy!!! My dad and grandma came over and sat with Addison while I took Ian to the doc. It was nice to have some just Ian time and easier to talk with the doc that way. Everything else with the appointment was good, he is doing great and right on track.

The kids both napped at the same time this afternoon for 2 hours so that was nice for me!!! After naptime Addison and I played some hide and go seek while Ian watched and giggled. He was so pleasant today, maybe he should get shots more often.

The last 2 days Addison has had zero accidents. I'm so glad!!! She pooped in her diaper at naptime yesterday, but that is okay with me. She pooped on the potty at home today when my dad was here.

Hard Day; August 17, 2011

What a shit bag of a day. Seriously, what the fuck is going on in the world??? Ian was a crying, puking mess of a baby. He just cried and cried all day unless he was being walked around. WTF??? He slept all night last night, no waking at all, but then napped on and off a lot today. He's all screwed up. Then Addison, oye that kid was rotten today. She pissed her pants 4 times today! WHAT THE HELL??? She will go does with no accidents and then have a day where she pees all damn day. It's so fucking frustrating!!! She didn't even care either. She just pissed and kept on rolling with life. WHY WHY WHY??? Tonight she pissed in our bed while watching a movie. I picked her up to get her ready for bed and she soaked my shirt with her pissy pants. If she can go 5 days with no accidents then she is damn well doing this on purpose to be an anus. She did poop on the potty today and pee a couple of times, but those were forced and she wasn't happy about it.

Then as if the day wasn't rotten enough I cut Ian's finger while clipping his nails. It bled off and on for HOURS! I have so much blood stained shit to wash. I felt horrible too of course. No mama wants to cause their baby pain!

Then we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner and after 45 minutes of waiting for our food from our dumb bitchass of a waitress we stormed out. The manager caught us on our way out and went to see what was going on and the dumb bitch had just put our order in 6 minutes ago! He was super nice about it and gave us vouchers for free meals and tried to get us to stay. It was too late though, the kids were done and so were we!

I'd go to bed but I'm waiting for our sheets to finish washing. She soaked the bed all the way down to the mattress!!!

Oh, and yesterday wasn't too great either. I sat through boring meetings and then picked the kids up and headed to my company's picnic alone since Josh had to work late. The kids were decent while there though, just busy. Ian was tired and Addison didn't want to get out of the bounce house. Thank goodness for one of my co-workers thoughH! She became surrogate grandma to Addison for the evening and I couldn't have survived without her!!! At the end of the night Addison had chocolate and ketchup all over her face and was standing in a pile of dirt barefoot jumping up and down laughing her ass off. My co-workers found it hysterical.


Now that the day has settled down the mama guilt sets in. I never feel good enough for my kids. I feel awful for yelling at Addison when she pissed her pants for the 3rd time today. I feel awful for letting Ian sit on the ground and cry as I hit in the bedroom crying myself. I feel helpless, useless, and like a terrible mother. This parenting shit is hard, everyone knows that, but I should have been better today. I should have had more patience and understanding. Their just babies. They are babies who need me to keep it together and not bawl my eyes out in front of them. I'm weak, which I suppose makes me human, but right now I feel guilty for it. I feel guilty that I wanted to work tomorrow just to get away from my own babies. Damnit.

I need to learn to deal with my mama guilt, it eats me.

I think a big part of it is just my personality. I've always been hard on myself and expected too much. It is what has driven me to where I am, but it is also what drives me over the edge sometimes. I'm a perfectionist and taking this into parenting is a recipe to go insane! I can't be a perfect mom, I can only be me. But I do want to be a better me. My kids deserve the best!!!

Better; August 16, 2011

Ian woke up about 4 am and played in his bed for about 20 minutes, whined for about 10, and then was out again! I'm so glad we did the tough love, it's working great and the sleep is wonderful. He really is a more pleasant dude too, he needed the sleep.

Tough Love; August 15, 2011

Ian is a PUKE MONSTER!!! It's insane how much this kid pukes and also amazing he weighs what he does. Today I was in the kitchen and I hear this squishy sound. I look over and he has vomitted a huge pile of thick puke all over the quilt he was laying on and was rubbing his hand around in it. It smelled horrible too, like sour milk and prunes. He had not shit for a few days but the prunes did the trick... 3 times today!

The weekend was good. Saturday was Madeline's birthday party. My dad made pronto pups, corn on a stick, and funnel cakes... I puked, damn grease. Geez, I wonder where my kids get their bad tummies? Rick had not been around for one of my puking episodes yet. He was telling Cheryl to be quiet because I was puking and she said "It's Chrissy, she pukes all the time, she's fine." and I said "Yup, pretty much."

Sunday we went on a picnic and to the zoo with Josh's parents. It was fun and the weather was beautiful!!! We had dinner on our back porch that night because it was so nice. Today was Madeline's actual birthday, 8 years old. I don't like my baby niece getting so big!!! She's such a great kid. She is so intuitive and funny and smart, I love her to pieces. We went over there after Kindermusik for dinner and cake to celebrate.

Last night Ian got some tough love. It was hard, but it's time. He is still waking to eat, which at his age is just bullshit. The hardest part of us letting him cry is him waking Addison up, but last night she was wiped out from the zoo trip so it was good. He went down around 9 pm and woke up at 1:30 am. We let him cry/scream/flail about 25 minutes and it was hard. I think Josh was hating it even more than me, wuss. Josh finally went in and changed his diaper and let him have an ounce of water from a bottle, patted him for a minute then left the room. After that he laid pretty still and fussed, whimpered, and whined, but didn't wail too loudly. He did that for about 40 minutes and finally sacked out and slept until 8:15 am! He took really great naps today too! I hope tonight he doesn't cry long, I really really really hate it, but he has to learn. It's best for him in the end so mama has to toughen up.

I'm having lung issues still. I finally gave in and started my Advair last night. I hate to because it's a L3 for breastfeeding, but not having oxygen is an L196.

So Ian's favorite foods are still humans and socks, but he is loving fruits still. He likes carrots and will tolerate other eggies, but would much rather have a fruit! So far he has had apples, bananas, pears, carrots, sweet potatoes, corn with summer squash, winter squash, prunes/oatmeal, and apple/pears/oatmeal. I still haven't given him any finger foods. He doesn't do much of a chewing motion yet. He more or less sucks the food of the spoon like a nipple.

Puke and Piss; August 12, 2011

I had a rough day!

I didn't realize Addison's feet were big, I thought they were finally normal, but after talking to some friends about her shoe size I guess they are. Go figure. She had freakishly tiny feet for sooooo long!!! When she first started walking she was in a 3 and they only made a handful of walkers that little. And now she has big feet, that is really funny. She is pretty tall now too, over 3 feet. She is still skinny as a rail though.

My day consisted of mass amounts of puke and piss. First, Ian has been up most the damn night for 2 nights in a row now. When he nurses on the right side he digs in his right ear so bad he has bloody scabs. So naturally I thought ear infection and took him to the doc today... nada!!! His ears are fine. So now what? Teething? The pedi said she could see some changes in his gums but thinks teeth are still a decent way off so it's probably not that. He had some redness in his throat, but nothing crazy. Side note: he has abnormally large tonsils for his age. It's not an issue right now but something we will want to keep an eye on. He has started having stranger fear, which the pedi noticed right away. She said that normally doesn't start until 9 months so that could be why he is waking. It's really not clear, but it SUCKS!!! We upped his dose of zantac again to 2.0 mL twice a day. He's been a puking mess. He seriously threw up on me today like 10 times. At Tim's this evening he barfed on me every 30 minutes, it was nasty. He threw up on their floor twice too. Oh, and he now weighs... drum roll... 19 lbs 12 oz!!!

Another side note: Addison weighed 19 lbs 14 oz when she turned a year old!

Addison was a pissy mess today. She had 4 accidents (one was a big old puddle of piss on Tim's carpet)!!! WTF? She was doing awesome and then yesterday at daycare had a pee accident and pooped in her pull up at naptime. I guess the pee yesterday was a big one and all the kids were yelling her pooped smelled at naptime. Poor baby, they probably made her feel sad. She naps with the big kids now since there are 5 babies at daycare and all the pack n plays are taken up. I don't understand all the accidents today. Does that just happen sometimes after potty training or could something be going on? She has been doing really good at pooping on the potty though, at least at home.

So yeah, shitty day. Addison was screaming scared of Tim's dogs tonight. She never had an issue with them in the past but since we had Toodles she has been scared of all dogs except Sidney. By the end of the night she was fine, but at first it was bad. She was clawing at my leg and shaking.

Sleep You Little Turd!; August 10, 2011

Ian was up most of last night and it is looking like tonight might be the same. He has a stuffy nose, but it doesn't seem terrible. He was digging in his ear a bit, but not a ton and wasn't crazy crabby so it's tough to tell what is going on. It could be teething, could be the cold, could be an ear thing, I'm not sure. I have a cold. The only place I feel it is my throat and my chest. I'm wheezing like crazy. My lungs suck almost as much ass as my uterus.

I was up all night and feel like shit soooooo... I took the kids to the zoo today by myself. Smart huh? It actually went great. They were both perfect angels and it was very enjoyable. Ian rode in the stroller the entire time, which is amazing for him. Addison walked most of the way and when she needed a rest I put her on the handle bars and held onto her. I only had the single stroller with me because the double was in my truck, which was in the shop. It worked well though. I was beat ass tired when we got back home and so were the kids, but not tired enough to nap well. Boogers.

Tonight we went to get Addison new shoes. About 6 weeks ago she was measured for just over a size 6 shoe and today she measured for a size 8 or 8.5!!! Talk about a growth spurt!!!

The kids are going to daycare tomorrow because I have a meeting. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job. I have been off for 9 months now at full pay. It's wonderful. This semester I have my usual Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule. I have a classes from 9-10, 10-11, and 2-3. After my last class I will stay about 30 minutes and head out. I will also go in on Thursdays for a meeting and getting stuff done. I will stay home Tuesdays again and snuggle my kiddos.

Catching Up; August 9, 2011

Wow, it's been an entire week since I wrote anything. That is a new record for me I think. I haven't had much to say I suppose. My stomach is feeling better after being back on my protonix for a bit now. I am having dizziness issues again, but I think I may have figured out that I'm not eating enough. I had lots of chocolate cake to make up for that today. I really need an afternoon snack to get me to dinner time.

Here is what we have been up to over the last week...

Wednesday - Madeline and Makenzie spent the day here with me, Addison, and Ian while my parents headed up north to bring my grandma down for a visit. We just played and hung out watching Mr. Mom.

Thursday - My mom and I took Addison, Ian, Madeline, Makenzie, and Savannah to the Children's Museum and on a picnic. All the kids were great and we had so much fun. That evening Ian had his 6 month photos and I am very happy with them. I will try to post those next.

Friday - Both kids went to daycare while I went to work. I got a ton done, which was good. Both kids came home from daycare crabby as hell. Addison napped with the big kids for the first time and I don't think she slept as good. Ian probably didn't sleep very good because I wasn't there to spoil him and our sitter lets them CIO. I don't realy like that, but Addison thrived beautifully there so I'm sure Ian will too. I hope.

Saturday - We went to visit Tim, Angie, and Savannah at the campground. They made a delicious dinner. It was hotter than hell though and muggy as fuck. The poor kids were a sweaty mess.

Sunday - We had a lazy day at home and then Madeline and Makenzie spent the night. Our friends Jenna and Niko were in town so came over for a bit with one of their daughters, 2 year old Bianca. We haven't seen each other since the girls were very little so it was great seeing them again. After they left I let our crew watch Happy Gimore and we all got to bed late. Addison was disappointed she didn't get to sleep with the girls on the air mattress, but I was afraid she would keep them up.

Monday - Addison had diarrhea in her panties. While I was cleaning that up Ian barfed on the air mattress and it went through a cover and 2 sheets right down to the mattress itself. Then Madeline had diarrhea. Oye! My dad and gradma came over and fixed breakfast. Other than lots of messes it was a good day. We had dinner at Cheryl's that night and Ian went swimming for the first time. He was very chilled in the pool.

Tuesday - Addison asked to poop on the potty and took a huge dump! She has gone several times this week on the potty actually, but this was the first time she asked out of the blue to poo. YAY!!! We had my mom, dad, and grandma over for dinner.

Kid updates:

Addison: She is doing great at the potty and finally waking up from naps dry! She usually pees in her diaper at night still, but that's okay. She is still in a crib and we are considering converting it to a toddler bed. I am not sure though, she sleeps so good, why mess with it? At the same time though she can't get up and potty if she feels the urge. Today at naptime was the first time she slept with a blanket and pillow in her bed. She slept great, but woke up a sweaty mess. She has been her funny self lately. In the pool last night Josh called Ian "buster" and she said "No daddy, baby not a bastard!" I'm going to really miss being with her all day. She is constantly cracking me up.

Ian: That kid has gotten WILD in his jumperoo. He is hysterical in that thing. He jumps so crazy and loud that you can hardly hold a conversation in the same room. He is kicking his feet like crazy no matter where he is and finally got up on all fours today, but I missed it. My mom and grandma caught it. He likes to try to eat any and everything. His favorite thing to chew on his people. He doesn't like chewing on his own fingers because he bites and it hurts! He is still biting me at feedings. He bit me the other day and I said "ouch!" and Addison said "Mommy, baby being an asshole again?" He has become afternoon nap beast again and won't lay on his own. It's probably because I have been spoiling him rotten the last few weeks and holding him because I'm going to miss him when I go back to work. Bad Chrissy!

Here are Ian's 6 month photos. Not pictured is him barfing on every single prop!!!

Yay for a Nap!; August 2, 2011

Half of today sucked ass and the other half was good. This morning I felt AWFUL again. I was sweaty, dizzy, in pain, exhausted, and I just couldn't function. Taking care of the kids feeling like that was hell. Addison was crabby as can be too! She was a whiny mess so maybe she didn't feel good either. She kicked Ian in the head and then pissed her pants in time out. Lovely!

After lunch things turned around. Addison slept from 2-5 and Ian and I snuggled in bed sleeping from 2-4!!! It was great and I felt much better after that rest. When he woke up he ate and slept until a little after 5 pm. When Josh got home my day sucked again when he popped off some shitty comment. He apologized later but the damage was done to my stomach and it was in raging pain again. I'm thinking maybe I have an ulcer again since stress elevates the pain.

The evening was okay. Addison and I had some special girl time playing outside and Josh and Ian made dessert. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I'm tired of this.

Poor Sidney; August 1, 2011

I'm having some nasty tummy issues. Saturday night when we got home from our trip my low belly was hurting, but a quick snack and a big fart made it better. Then Saturday night it got really bad. I threw up a couple of times and my upper and low belly were aching like crazy. Yesterday it was on and off. The morning was really bad and then it would hurt bad for a few minutes every hour. Last night before bed it got bad again and then this morning was really rough. I don't know what the fuck is up. I did pee on a stick and it was negative so it's not that (THANK GOODNESS). I have been off my protonix and on pepcid for about a month now and was doing really well, maybe not. I started my protonix again today.

Addison is at daycare today. I only have this week and next before I need to be at work for a week getting things ready and then school starts. I really can't pout, I've been off and paid since December. It will be really hard though, for all of us. This morning Addison wanted to lay in bed with me and not get ready. Poor thing. Ian and I had a lunch date but with my stomach feeling like hammered ass I cancelled and our friends are coming over here. It's Ian's birthday buddy Adam and his mama Megan.

Sidney (our dog with nasal cancer) is having a really hard time lately. She was having a lot of bloody snot and usually when that happens she just needs an antibiotic. It's not working this time though. I'm worried. She is having more frank blood too vs. bloody snot. She is acting okay though and eating normally. Josh and I cleaned the carpets really well in our bedroom yesterday. She sleeps on the floor next to me and there was blood everywhere even though we just cleaned the carpet a week ago. We sprayed it with a hydrogen peroxide/water mixture then ran the carpet cleaner over it and it looks great. We put Quentin's (our dog that died in February of thyroid cancer) old pillow in that spot so now she is sleeping on that and the blood is going there. When she sleeps her nose drips blood so that is her messiest time. The next area to tackle is the floor by the couch where I always feed Ian. She sleeps at my feet while he nurses so that area is really bloody too.

Long Day; July 30, 2011

For now I am content to not get another dog until Ian is walking. I hate dealing with hair and crawling. I know Josh wants one sooner, but I'm not giving in again. Too bad. I'm home more often so the brunt of the work falls on me.

It's been a good but very long day. This morning my parents came up and we cooked breakfast then we headed out. Ian didn't scream at all on the way there, just fussed a few times (it's a 2 hour drive without stops). No, I take that back, he did scream while my dad bought cheese. My dad always finds 100 reasons to stop for shit. I didn't let him stop on the way home to get honey and he was irritated, but both kids were asleep, GO!!! Anyway, the way there wasn't too bad and best of all Addison held her pee the entire way! She was dry when we got there and peed a bunch. Awesome. She did have a poop accident this morning though. The more I read that is very common in early potty training so I just encourage her to try to use the potty next time and let it go. It is early and she is young. She had a pee accident too because she got busy, but that was very early this morning. She peed several times at my grandma's too. We had a nice visit then headed home. Ian and Addison both slept the first half but when Ian woke up he let us have it. He was screaming so loud and when we stopped we found out why... carrot poo. It looked like someone dumped a jar of carrot baby food in his diaper. Gross! While we stopped Addison used the little potty in the back of my truck. The rest of the way home Ian went between fussing and screaming, but we made it. As soon as we got into the garage Addison wanted to pee in my truck again. Whatever, at least it is a potty and not her pants.

We got home about 7 pm and then headed to the fair. My parents stayed at our house with Ian and we took Josh Addison so that was nice. It was muggy as fuck and most of the animals were already gone, which pissed me off, but Addison had a good time and was so excited to share with her nana and pappy when we got home.

So it was a very good day, but a long one!!!

What a Day; July 29, 2011

I'm constantly on the verge of puking. With Addison not here today Toodles and I are bonding like crazy. He is such a good dog! He will now go to the door and ring his bells when he needs to go out. He goes out, potties, and comes straight back in. I'm writing up a long letter to send back with him and our vet is posting him on their board. I'm hoping word of mouth can get him a proper home. I'm so heartbroken that we aren't that home. I am worried about him, he has really taken to me.


He is gone. I bawled my eyes out for an hour after Josh drove away. It was horrible. Josh is having a hard time too. He said, and I think he is right, that when Addison gets home I will feel better. I want her to feel safe and play freely in her home again. Seeing that will help, but right now it hurts. Time will heal.


Toodles already has a new home!!! Josh dropped him off at 1 pm and by 5 pm he had already been adopted by a new family. I am so happy for him and I hope the are wonderful people and will keep up with his training. He was doing so good at the potty thing and learning commands. I'm soooooo happy he is not sleeping alone in a cage at the humane society tonight, but is warm and comfy in a home. Hopefully they are letting him on the couch because he loves the couch!!! Now most of my pain is just for myself, and that will get better. I miss him. I was in chaos for days and so stressed, but now that he is gone the house is so quiet. I thought Addison might ask where he was but nope, she didn't say a word. She was back to her happy self today and didn't have any pee pee accidents. It was nice to see her running around playing. We told her this morning Toodles had to go back home, his time with us was over. She said bye Toodles and that was that.

You know, when we went to visit that great dane some time ago Addison loved him. She thought he was awesome and wasn't scared at all. But this little puppy she could crush if she wanted to scared her. Strange kid.

My sister and company have been at Disney this week and Addison is missing the girls like crazy. She asks for them every single day. I let her call them this afternoon and she says "Hi Madeline! You get my Donald yet?" She is expecting (and getting) a stuffed Donald. Goofball. Then she said "You having fun in Disneyworld?" She also told Makenzie "See my new shoes Senzee?" She is so funny on the phone. She holds really good conversations and when she is done always says "Bye, wuv you. You want to talk to my mommy?"

Tomorrow me, the kids, and my parents are going up to Terre Haute to visit my grandma. Josh is working, AGAIN, so off we go. I'm hoping we can get home early enough to hit the county fair, but we shall see how things go first.

Addison is having trouble pooping on the potty. Today she had a little squishy turd hanging out of her butt, but couldn't poop. The sitter said she did the same thing at her house. I think she is holding it in. I'm reading about kids and the poo poo on the potty issue and it sounds very common. Now I'm all worried from reading though that the shit is impacted and she will have trouble getting it out. Not pooping for 2 solid days is unheard of for her!!! I'm concerned. I will probably run to the store in the morning and get some fiber gummies or something to give her and push the fluids.

She is rocking the pee pee so I don't want to ruin that and put her in a pull up for our drive, but there aren't a lot of places to stop between here and there so it will be hard if she does need to shit. I plan to take her little potty, but she hates that thing and has never gone in anything but the big potty. Plus, do I really want shit in a little potty on the side of the road? And what about pee? I don't want her pissing in her carseart and she has never peed outside (on purpose) so I'm not sure how she would feel about copping a squat.

I need to start saying poo poo. She has told me twice in the last couple of days she doesn't need to shit. I say poo when talking to her but shit when talking to Josh and she is catching on. Today I called someone a dumbass in the car today when they drove by all loud and ghetto. Shortly after that another loud car went by and she said "Look mom, more dumbass people!" She's so smart!

Happy 6 Months Ian!!!; July 28, 2011

Another majorly shitty day here. Toodles did pretty good last night so that was nice. I had him running around while we ate breakfast, but then we had a playdate with one of my friends who has 2 boys the same age as my kids so I put him away. He was only in there 2 hours and when I went to get him he had shit and smeared it EVERYWHERE!!! Addison was starving and Ian was just waking up from his nap and screaming and here I had a puppy covered in shit. I called my parents up to help and we got everything settled down. While Addison napped in the afternoon I really bonded with the puppy and decided to commit to doing what is necessary to keep him. I called the trainer and she came out this evening.

Things went great with the trainer. Toodles is a fast learner and quite smart. Josh and I were feeling very optimistic and Addison was doing much better with him. After the trainer left we were able to have Toodles out in the room with Addison. She was leary of him but not whining or crawling up my leg. She started to run around the island like she does and being a puppy, Toodles tried to play too by nipping at her heals. This scared her to death so she ran and he bit her in the butt and wouldn't let go of her. She was terrified and is now waaaay done with the puppy. Poor kid. He is just a puppy and a very trainable puppy at that, but it's impossible to train him when she is so terrified. It's just not going to work, he's going back.

The last thing I have ever in my life wanted to do is make life harder for an animal. I adore dogs so much. This is tearing me up inside. This dog has been through so much and isn't even 4 months old yet. I'm praying he finds a family where everyone loves him. Here isn't it, Addison hates him and Sidney does nothing but growl at him. He wants so bad to play with her but she hates him. I can't play with him when Addison is up because she is scared, and if I wait until nap time then he wakes her up while we play. It's not a winning situation.

Fuck fuck fuck. Despite how horrible I feel I have to do what is best for my FAMILY, and that is to let Toodles find a better home than ours. Things have been so bad that I almost forgot a very important thing today...

Happy 6 Months Ian!!! It's been such a fast 6 months! He is a super sweet little baby. He is still a total puke monster, but it's just part of his charm. He is constantly babbling dada, little booger, and is very attached to both me and Josh. He wanted held a lot tonight, but that is no doubt because he has been left in his bed to scream so much lately. My poor baby, he needs lots of extra love tomorrow. It's Friday, which means they are both supposed to go to daycare, but I'm keeping Ian home. He needs it and so do I.

I've also not had time to help Addison get to the potty quickly and because of that she had 2 accidents today. It's not really her fault, it's mine. She doesn't remember to go always so you have to ask her, which is fine because she is so young.

Josh is taking Toodles back tomorrow at lunch time. I'm going to make sure I'm not here. I'm still wishy washy on taking him but Josh is not and pulling me through. I feel like such a scumbag for this.

Chaos; July 27, 2011

Today was horrible. This puppy sucks ass. I don't want him anymore, I really don't, but we aren't the kind of people who give up. This poor little guy has been through so much, my heart aches for him, but my heart is aching more for Addison who is terrified of him. Once minute she will be getting better and the next she is freaking out. Toodles has a massive fear of his kennel too so our plan of having him chill there most of the day while I'm alone with the kids did not work today. He pissed all over himself so I had to give him a bath while Ian cried in his bed, again, and Addison sat on the porch telling me how scared she was. It was awful. Then at naptime he was screaming so damn loud in his kennel it was keeping the kids up. I hate this. I don't want this damn dog. I don't have it in me to send him back though. I'm a huge dog lover, I think the $20k in cancer treatments shows that, but I can't live like this either. I've never heard a dog go so mental in his kennel. Sidney and Quentin used to whine, but this guy SCREAMS and it's ear piercing and unbelievably loud.

We have found a trainer who will come to our home so we are going to give that a shot. This guy needs a stable life, but man does he suck ass right now. If I didn't have the kids it would be doable, but I do. I just don't want Addison and Ian to suffer for this puppy. As much as I love dogs, they are my children, my world.

What a mess.

In good news Addison took a big old poop on the potty!!! She did have one accident today at gymnastics. I think she was just too distracted to remember to use the potty.

Damn, What a Day!; July 26, 2011

What a day!!! I knew it would be rough, but DAMN!!! Ian was up at 5:30 am. I fed him and put him in his swing and he slept for another couple of hours, but that still isn't enough sleep for me. We snuggled in bed where he proceeded to beat the shit out of me. Stinker.

Addison got up at 9 am and I got everyone fed and dressed. With our 14,000 trips to the potty and many poop tries we didn't leave until shortly after 10 am! I was supposed to have Toodles to the vet at 9:30, that didn't happen so they were calling to see where the hell we were. We get to the humane society and it went about as smooth as chunky peanut butter. Toodles needed his rabies shot before leaving so they did that, then there was all the crap to go over, and Addison was screaming "I'm scared of the doggy!" and crawling up my leg. Then there were 3 trips to the potty while there to try to get that poop out but we only had farts and pee.

When we finally left the building around 11 am. Our kennel hasn't come yet so we were going to use a box until we got to the vet where we could borrow one, but the little stink jumped right out of it. I thought it was tall enough... nope. So there I am with Ian who has LOST IT and spent 25 straight minutes screaming red faced with tears pouring down his face, Addison who is farting in her carseat and saying she is scared, and a wild ass puppy who has no crate. Thankfully the ladies at the humane society came to my rescue and we borrowed a crate from them.

Then on the way home the crate dumps over and Toodles goes rolling across the SUV. I'm in tears at this point so do what all self respecting adults do... called my mommy!!! I dropped the kids off there then took Toodles to the vet, finally at 11:30, 2 hours late. Then it's back to my parents to feed Ian, ran to get lunch, back to my parents to eat, then left again to get Sidney, took her to the vet, picked up her and Toodles (found out he was growling and scared while there, GREAT), back to my parents to feed Ian again, left again with Addison to get to her GI appointment (thankfully Josh met us there), picked up dinner, back to my parents to eat, and then finally home. We were leaving my parents and I had the car started, dog loaded, and Addison finally took that shit... IN HER PANTS!

Thankfully things have been pretty smooth since we got home. He took to our house well and has only had 1 pee accident in the house. So has Addison so that isn't bad, they are on the same pace. He and Sidney got to playing and it was adorable. He hasn't growled or showed any fear here so maybe it was just being at the vet. Sidney has also been putting him in his place. She's growled at him several times when he tried to do things like drink while she is drinking. That is okay though, she is alpha dog and he needs to learn that. Addison is getting better with him, but still pretty scared. I'm just praying over time that will settle out. She loves big dogs, but little ones scare her so he needs to hurry up and get big.

Addison's GI appointment went well. I really like the doc. He is from Indy and only down here once every 3 months. I wish we had been able to see him with Ian when he was sick. He wants to run some blood tests to check for a few allergies, but he thinks we are likely dealing with toddler diarrhea, which is basically IBS in kids. Given my family history and her symptoms it is the most logical option. Her height and weight have been steady and good so he doesn't think this is a major issue. We see him again in October. She has been doing really well since we started avoiding milk totally and put her on a probiotic so we'llsee if that is still the case come October.

Ian needs to stop biting me or I'm going to beat his little ass. Okay, not really so don't worry, but it makes me feel better to say that. He has always been a biter but he keeps getting stronger and stronger and biting through an entire feeding. Asswipe. My mom fed him sweet potatoes for the first time tonight and he thought she was feeding him a turd.

Right now Toodles is sleeping on his back on the couch. Poor guy, he has had a big day too. I hope he learns quickly this is his forever home. He was born in one home, then taken to the human society at 8 weeks old, adopted to another home and was there almost 2 months, then taken back to the human society, and now is in our home. That is a lot for a little puppy to go through.

Sidney had a checkup today for her cancer. She is blowing a lot of bloody snot again. She goes on antibiotics and it gets better, then as soon as she is off of them it comes right back. We are going to do a new regime of 3 days on antibotics, 4 days off and see how she does. I spent $180 in drugs today! EEK!

New Family Member!!!; July 25, 2011

So if you haven't seen on Facebook yet... we are getting the puppy. Well, mostly but a lot of too. I have never been nervous like this to get a new pet, but I have a lot of doubts. Josh really has his heart set on this though and it does feel right when I look at the little guy. I just worry more now that we have kids. Like toys! We have to teach the puppy whos toys are whos. And Addison... she HATES little dogs. She is terrified of them. This puppy is pretty chilled (so far), for a puppy anyway, so she isn't terrified of him, but doesn't really want him near her. Josh and the humane society folks think that will stop once we get him home and she gets used to him, but I'm nervous it won't. I don't want her feeling scared in her own home. I figure if we need to keep him on a leash tied to a chair for a week while she gets used to him then it won't be the end of the world. I may kennel him most of the day too even though I will be home. I go back to work in a month so he will need to get used to that as part of his routine.

Sooooooooo nervous but check out this face!!!

We let Addison name him and it is......... drum roll please......... TOODLES!!! It was either that or Sidney Sue, but that name is taken so Toodles it is. I tried to get her to go with Pluto but nope, Toodles. Crazy kid. It'll be fun to yell "Ohhh Toodles!"

Addison wore panties out of the house for the first time today. She did great on this morning's errand and went potty in a public toilet. This evening though she didn't do so great and peed on the floor at Petsmart. She was wearing a dress so it went right onto the floor, but hey, at least they had supplies ready to clean up pee. So her first full day in panties in public and 1 accident, not bad I suppose. She didn't poop today. I'm worried about pooping still since she hasn't really taken a big dump in the potty since she started wearing panties. She used to be all about pooping in the potty, not sure where that attitude went.

Ian is saying "dadadadadada" constantly now. He started saying it a couple of days ago and doesn't stop. He is super loud too! He is being playful but man the kid has some volume. He loves to flap his arms and legs like a wild man too. He is funny. Today I got him up from his nap to find his entire face covered with cottage cheese looking vomit. It was so bad he had to get into the tub immediately. YUCK!

Bedtime, big day tomorrow!!! The kids and I are picking Toodles up in the morning and dropping him off at our vet. Then in the afternoon Sidney has an appointment so I will pick Toodles up then and finally at 4:40 Addison has her GI appointment.

Mommy Day; July 24, 2011

My Friday was nice but more rushed that I had hoped. I just had too many things on my to-do list. My massage was wonderful. I really think health insurance should pay for those. It makes me such a happier person. Speaking of health, I hit 128 this weekend!!!

Friday evening we went to see a puppy Josh has fallen in love with. He is really cute and named Quinn, but he is an American Staffordshire Terrier. They are "cousins" to pitbulls and have the same strength and temperment. I'm just not comfortable with that breed. I know it's mostly how you raise a dog, but they are extremely protective of their families and property. I'm not so worried he would hurt one of us, but worried he would harm a neighbor or family member he saw as a threat. He is adorable and super sweet, but I don't know if it's fair for me to get a breed I'm uneasy with. His temperment test showed the best level at the humane society so that is good. We also visited a Hound, Bailey, who had 12 puppies (I posted a pic of one of her pups a couple of weeks ago). She is so sweet and super depressed. I felt horrible for her and would love to take her home, but Sidney doesn't do well with other female dogs. I wanted my parents to get her but they are being stubborn.

Friday night I had a meltdown and bawled because Josh keeps finding these dogs and I keep having to say no. It's breaking my heart. I told him no more. It's not the time for a new dog so please stop showing them to me.

Then... Saturday the humane society calls and one of Bailey's puppies has been brought back by stupid owners. So off we went for a visit. I walked into the puppy room and there was this little brown and white puppy looking at me. I kept thinking "I want this puppy, not the one we came to meet." Just then Josh walks in behind me and says "oh, you found him." It was THE puppy we were there to see. It felt right, oh so right. He is really sweet and calm for a puppy. He isn't at all what I had pictured wanting. His hair is wirey and not shiny like I prefer and he is a hound mix, but something just said to me "this is your puppy!"

We are taking Sidney to meet him Tuesday and we'll see how that goes. All weekend I just keep thinking how much I want *my* puppy home. I'm thinking this was meant to be. Addison loves going to the humane society because she likes looking at the rats and the cats. Seriously? We aren't really cat people but she loves that room of kitties and ask us to take one home every time.

Rest of the weekend was good. We did some potty training with Addison. We went with the bare ass method for 2 days and the first day she rocked it out! She pooped on the potty 1 time, peed 8 times, and had 1 pee and 1 poo accident. The pee was while we were at the humane society and she was in a pull up so I can't blame her there. She did pee twice while we were at a restaurant afterwards. The poo she tried to make it to the potty but couldn't run fast enough. She was in a mad dash to get there when turds started falling.

Today was a little worse actually. She peed on the potty 9 times, but had 2 poo accidents and 3 pee accidents. For 1 poo she did try to make it to the potty but again couldn't and the other she shit in a pull up right after her nap. The pees were irritating. For one she didn't want to go to the potty so went into the kitchen pantry, shut the door, and took a piss. The other one was outside while playing (she said "my toe is warm" and it took us a second to realize it was because she was peeing down her leg ). The third accident she let herself out the door and peed on the porch. WHY??? Does she think she is a dog? UGH!

Tomorrow she is supposed to wear panties, but it is also daycare day. She had a 101 fever before bed though so she may be staying home with me. She wasn't acting sick and had nothing else going on, just the fever.

Ian was a good boy all weekend. He is on his second food now, apples. He still loves to eat eat eat and screams when you take the empty jar of food off his tray. Piggy!!! He got up on his hands and knees for a second but then fell. He can sit for about 2 seconds too, that's it. I think his fat rolls are in the way and he can't sit. He can barely get his foot to his mouth because he is so chubby.

Going Good; July 21, 2011

You know, I still wouldn't say I am done having kids, because mentally I am not, but physically I am so that makes my mental part sway that way. And that was totally a run on sentence because that is how it works in my head with this subject. Ah fuck, I hate thinking about it. Either way sucks.

Anyway, things are good. I've been tiring easy during my workouts and it's really freaking me out. I did that with Addison before I even found out I was pregnant. Chances are SO SLIM, but I'm still worried.

The kids are good. After I posted how easy going Ian has become he turned into beast baby for 2 days and hated to be put down. It sure was easier to hold a baby all day when I had 1. Somedays he forgets he isn't the only one that needs cared for. Booger. He's being his happy self again though so that's okay. He is doing great with his food. He is eating about 2 tablespoons of wheat cereal and breastmilk for breakfast and a stage 1 jar of food for dinner. The kid loves to eat!!! His sleep has been fantastic lately (I'm sure I just jinxed it!!!) He's been sleeping 8.5 - 9.5 hours at night. Today he napped for 2.5 hours in the pack n play at Cheryl's! That is a long nap for him!

Addison is hit or miss with the potty. She will have a great potty day followed by an awful one. Sometimes she just doesn't want to be bothered with stopping her playing. She is also not that excited about the candy anymore. I think we need to switch to skittles or something, she liked those at Cheryl's today. Addison wasn't scheduled to see the pediatric GI from Riley until October, but they called today and had a cancellation on Tuesday so we took it. I'm glad they can get her in sooner. She is doing pretty good with the diarrhea issues, but I still want to see them. I think her main issue is dairy.

Tomorrow both kids are going to daycare. We all need to get used to it because work for me starts in a month and 3 days. Booo!!! It has been AWESOME that I got to stay home for so long, but it's only going to make going back that much harder. To force myself to send them tomorrow and not change my mind at the last minute I set up a massage appointment. I'm going to get a massage, have lunch with Josh, and do some shopping. I need the alone time, but I will miss my kiddos like crazy.

Mama Guilt; July 18, 2011

Addison is at daycare today and I feel guilty as hell because she was tired this morning and didn't want to go. I hate this, hate hate hate it!!! I said I was going to send her 2 times a week this summer but it has been 1 time a week all summer long. I'm trying to do 2 times a week these last few weeks. It's best for her, right? It just sucks, I want to play with her. Ian is napping and I'm bored. I am sending them both to daycare this Friday. I will feel super guilty for that one, but he has been home with me for 6 months and needs to learn to separate. I left him with my mom Friday and he watched me walk out the door with the saddest look on his face. I'm going to get a massage and do some shopping Friday so that will be nice. I hate guilt. I'm bad at letting it go too.

Yesterday was a nice day. We went to church then dropped the kids off at my parents and ran some errands. I hate taking them on errands with us and especially in this heat!!! We have had excessive heat warnings so much lately, it's rough on everyone. We knocked out a ton of stores in just a couple of hours and then picked the kids up and went home for naptime. We had my entire family up for dinner that evening and it was super fun. We made grilled wild salmon, steamed veggies, potato salad, and my dad made a peach upside down cake. The kids were all really good and had so much fun together. We all hung out in the basement for a while since it's nice and cool down there. Addison asks every day to go out and swing but it's just too damn hot, somedays even after the sun is down it's still horrible out. The humidity is horrific and you feel like you can't breathe.

Ian has been so happy go lucky lately. He hardly ever fusses unless he pooped or is tired. It's wonderful. He is a total giggle box. If Addison just walks by he starts laughing. He LOVES when we hold him and chase her around the island. They both giggle like crazy. Addison is still an awesome big sister. She doesn't ask to hold him hardly ever, but loves giving him toys and sticking things in his mouth when he can't quite get them. When he rolls over she likes to roll him back, which he thinks is funny. They are amazing.

I finally broke the 130 barrier and weighted 129 lbs this morning!!! I am super excited!!! That is still 9 lbs over pre-Ian weight, but I will get there. Once school starts back up it will be so much easier for me to workout. I love being able to pop over to the gym in the middle of the day.

After thinking about how scary it would be to get pregnant again, I'm getting more content with not having another one. I love kids, I want tons and tons of them, but my body isn't going to allow that. I don't love pregnancy, it's horrible for me, but I am sad to think of never doing it again, especially giving birth. I love giving birth, it is such a high for me and so empowering. But, I don't want to bleed to death, that would be a real downer.

Piggy; July 17, 2011

I have to get a shower and some sleep, but I didn't want to forget the date later...

Ian had pears for the first time tonight. He loved them, as with ALL FOOD. Piggy.

GREAT.BIG.POOP; July 16, 2011

Ohhhh my aching head and my stomach. I must have the flu again. I really didn't drink that much but man it hit me hard last night. I have been off my protonix for about a week waiting for my new script to get here and it has doubly fucked my stomach. I feel like there is fire in my stomach and esophagus and I'm on the verge of hurling stomach acid. Ian got me up at 5 am and by the time he was back asleep Addison was up. UGH!!!


Well today ended up a BIG DAY here!!! This morning while I was feeding Ian breakfast Addison said "mommy, I need to poop" so I said "on the potty?" and she said "yes!" She then went and took, in HER words, "a GREAT.BIG.POOP" It was too!!! I was so proud of her so she put a pull up on and the proceeded to stay in that same exact pull up all dang day! She went pee pee on the potty like 10 times today and pooped the 1 time and had zero accidents. ZERO!!! What a super star!!! I hope this wasn't a fluke and continues tomorrow. I'm just amazed by her progress in a freaking day!

The rest of the day was good too. We went to Josh's cousin's wedding and afterwards to a party with his other side of the family. The kids were super well behaved and looked adorable of course. We were all dressed up and looking good and I got zero pics. Darnit!!! Both kids were worn out tonight so hopefully there won't be any 5 am waking up crap.

Ooops; July 15, 2011

Addison's head is looking much much better. It's just a bruise now with no swelling. She hasn't complained about it either so that is good. She was crabby yesterday so it may have been that or it was just her acting like a 2 year old. She is at the sitter's today so I'm hoping to get some errands done. I also may take Madeline and Makenzie to do something special that we can't do with the little ones around. We'll see.

The other night Ian threw a big fit when his food was all gone. I decided yesterday to feed him 2 meals then but it didn't work out time wise and he only got 1. She slept 9:40-5:30 though! That was nice!!! He was ready to party at 5:30 though so got stuck in his swing while we went back to sleep. He eventually fell back asleep too and slept until after 9 am. He's so cute. Oh, yesterday he repeated "mama" to me!!! He did it once then I got Josh on the phone and he did it again. It was adorable. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Awww, just saw pics of m y kids and they are so damn cute and awesome. I do'nt mind having more kids, I just don't want to diie of an abruption, you know> ? That is a s cary thought, these kids meed me!!!

Cuz I such a responibsle parent and all!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scary Day; July 13, 2011

Today was a really eventful and rough day. The morning was great, Ian was up from 7:30-8:30 but went back down and slept until 11:30 am. Addison went to bed at 9 pm last night and didn't get up until 11:30 this morning!!! I guess she needed to sleep that virus off. She had 1 poop today and it was soft but not watery and no fever. I am glad it passed quickly. Since she was fine all day we took her to gymnastics. She did good and Cheryl, my mom, and the girls came to watch. When she was done her and Josh came upstairs to the viewing area to meet us. On her way down the stairs she fell from 3 steps up and landed flat on her face on a hard tile floor. She instantly started screaming and I was thankful when I saw no blood anywhere... and then the swelling started. Her forehead right in the middle was instantly bruised, red, and swelling like crazy. It was a huge area so we got ice on it right away and called after hours. They said with kids her age they prefer we go to the ER so off we went.

Amazingly we were in and out of there in about 20 minutes and everything is okay. The doc said that the area there is full of blood vessels so will bruise and swell really badly, but it's also a very thick area of the skull. Because of this it is rare to get a serious brain injury from a hit there. Since she was alert and acting normal, had no blood in her ears, and her eyes were reactive we were able to leave. I'm so thankful she is okay. It looks nasty still. This was about 1.5 hours after the incident...

The red area is smaller there then it was at first and before bed tonight it was even a little smaller so that is good. I'm sure she has a killer headache.

On the way home from all of that Josh gets a call that his uncle has passed away. Turns out he has not actually passed yet, but he is very ill. Just a week ago he went to the ER with stomach pains and found out he has small cell lung cancer and it's also covered 100% of his liver. They originally gave him 6 weeks to 3 months, but things are going bad quickly and now they are saying 1-3 weeks. He was at the hospital with his family tonight and his uncle was alert and in decent spirits. He said he was hoping to get out and make his t-time on Sunday. He has grandchildren Addison and Ian's age and I can't imagine what his daughters and son are feeling. So sad.

What a day.

On an up note, the scale finally budged the other day and I went down to 130.5 (10.5 lbs over pre-Ian weight still, but finally down a few pounds). After 2 exhausting days of eating whatever I could grab and not working out I'm sure the weight will find my fat ass again by morning. Ah well, there are many more important things going on right now.

NASTY SHIT; July 12, 2011

It's been a shitty day, literally, but an okay day actually. I shall explain... I've changed 8 shitty diapers today. Addison has had bad diarrhea. Poor kid. I had diarrhea on Sunday and Monday and Ian had a really watery poop this evening. His morning poo was normal but tonight's was watery and soaked into the diaper some so we definitely have a virus in the house. Tonight before bed Addison had a 102 fever. Both kids were in a good mood all day though, which made for the okay day besides the poo and feeling bad for them. Tonight Addison started to get whiny and you can see she doesn't feel good. I'm hoping a good night's rest and tylenol will make the morning better. She has finally started doing decent poo wise and now this. That kid can't catch a break with her poor tummy issues.

Ian's First "Meal"; July 11, 2011

I just sat down to type and forgot all of Addison's recent zingers. I do recall one funny one. We were eating rotini pasta and Addison took a bite and said "I no like the boingy-boingies." I guess they do look like springs afterall. That kid.

Friday night we hung out at home cutting grass and feeding Ian cereal (whole wheat cereal) for the first time. He was confused at first but then took to it really well. He had his second "meal" Saturday night and by Sunday we were able to feed him pretty thick stuff and he was eating it beautifully. I'm thinking Friday he will get his first fruit. We'll see how long it takes me to get to the store. I have a stockpile of 2nd foods I couponed, but no 1st foods.

We had a very nice weekend. Saturday we went to Bloomington to visit some friends from graduate school. They have a baby boy born almost 3 weeks after Ian and it was the first time we have all gotten together since the boys were born. There is another couple from graduate school we are friends with who live there too and they had a baby boy about 6 weeks after Ian so they came over too. It was awesome to see all 3 boys together and so cute. Addison thought it was way cool there were 3 babies there. Thankfully she only smothered her brother with germs and hugs. It was extra nice when the kids went to bed and we got to drink wine and play cards like the old days. We really miss being able to hang out with our friends every weekend and do stuff together. Growing old, getting jobs, and moving around sucks. Everyone from graduate school we were close to are spread all over the country now.

Car beast, I mean Ian did awful on the way to Bloomington. He yelled his ass off pretty much the entire way, but on the way home he was awesome and hardly made a peep. It made for a much more pleasant drive! Addison did great as usual. She is such a wonderful traveller, always has been.

Ian is REALLY wanting to crawl. The other day he was scooting forward using just his legs and letting his arms drag behind. He can push up really well into an up-dog position, but can't get his arms and legs up under him at the same time. He'll get there though and sooner than I want!!! Addison is going to be PISSED when he starts crawling and getting into her stuff. I'm not looking forward to it at all.

Addison is really learning how to play us. She is too smart for her own good and cunning as hell. She always has a plan when she asks for something. She will be awesome at manipulating men. That's my girl. Me and her have our own "no boys allowed" club now and we like to hide and chant it while Josh and Ian try to find us. It's fun having someone to giggle and play with. She really is such a fun kid and I adore that about her. She is becoming more of a mama's girl and Ian is becoming daddy's little man (until he wants to eat of course).

Sending Love to Munchkin; July 7, 2011

I told Josh 100% no on that puppy, but I'm still secretly considering it. He's just TOO DAMN CUTE!!! So is Ian though. One big concern I have his taking time away from my little man. I feel like I already miss out playing with him so much because of having a 2 year old around, is it really fair to him to throw another needy creature in the mix? He deserves mama too and he will only be little once. The thought he could be my last devestates me, but we won't discuss that right now.

Speaking of other kids, today was my due date with Munchkin. He would be turning 3 right now. Josh said today that he and Quentin are in heaven playing together, and I know that, but I still want to hug them both so tight.

Kid updates:

Addison gave me a run for my money today. She refused to wash her dirty hands and kept throwing herself on the bathroom floor so I put her in time out. She became a crying mess and I put her back there about 500 times as she kept getting out. It was so frustrating. I finally put my arm out stiff and my hand on her belly to keep her in time out. She didn't like that so hauled off and smacked my arm really hard. Oh hell no!!! She was already in time out so I didn't know what else to do so I smacked her hand. It's the first time I've ever done that and it broke my heart. The look on her face was horrible and I felt like I betrayed her trust or something. She cried and cried and did finally sit her 2 minutes in time out. I still feel like an ass and I don't think it was teh way to go, but what else do you do? There is no second level to time out and putting her there longer isn't effective, 2 year olds have no concept of time. She wouldn't know 2 minutes from 4. I refuse to raise a brat though. Gah, this parent stuff is hard. She was good the rest of the day and did okay at dance, not great, but she is improving. She still wants to cling to mommy the first 8 minutes, but then loosens up. Yesterday was gymnastics and she is really enjoying the new place.

She did crack my ass up yesterday though. Me and her were hiding from Josh and Ian and chanting "no boys allowed!" and silly names like pinhead and buttface. Then she busted out with "damn dumbass!" and just laughed her ass off. She called Josh a dumbass the other day too when he told her to stop playing in her peas. Oh, and yesterday she put her hand on her forehead and said "mommy, I feel like shit!"

Ian, oye, that little guy is also giving me a run for my money. He didn't cry as much today as the past days, but was a puke monster. SO.MUCH.DAMN.VOMIT. Usually when he fusses a lot it is because he wants you to walk around with him. Well too damn bad! Daddy has spoiled him rotten and will give into him, but not mean mean mean mommy. The boy must learn to be a man! He is doing great at putting himself to sleep though and has even done so on his back a couple of times lately. Ian sleeping in his back is very rare. He will thrash his head back and forth for a while and finally sack out. He has enjoyed a few naps with mommy lately in the wee hours of the morning, which is not a habit I want to start. But... when you are exhausted and know your 2 year old is going to scream "mommy, I'm awake, get me oooout" within the next 2 hours... sleep is all you can think of!!!

One more quick note: I am going to be fat until the end of time. I have been working out HARD and eating right and my weight has yet to budge in 3 weeks. FUCK YOU FAT!!!

Crabby Kids; July 6, 2011

Today I am thankful that both kids are napping at the same time. They have both been crabby as hell today. Ian has been for a few days. He just screams and screams. It's odd. Nothing will calm that kid down but a boob and he barely sucks and falls asleep. I tried putting orajel on his gums in case it is teething but that didn't help either. He slept like crap last night too, which means we slept like crap and I feel like total ass. Ah well, just another day in the life of a baby.

Addison is just a whiny mess. I think she was extra tired today for whatever reason. Perhaps it is the heat, even though we are in a nice air conditioned house. She has gymnastics tonight so hopefully this nap will chill her out.

Other than the crabiness this morning, things are good. We had a nice 4th of July. My parents came over and fixed brunch and we all drank mimosas. Addison had OJ with water and I pretended to pour some beverage out of the wine bottle for her. She was excited. We just lazed around the house most of the day, ran a couple of errands, had dinner on the back porch, and then went to the fireworks. They were good and Addison loved them. We told her we were going to see fireworks and she says "Oh, and Tinkerbell and Minnie Mouse and Mickey!" Ummmm, not those fireworks kid. Spoiled much? She told me later we had to get on the airplane so we could go see the fireworks. She kills me. Speaking of Disney, we are going in December. As soon as we pick a flight and hotel we will be all set. I'm excited. I've been to Disneyland at Christmas but not Disneyworld and it's going to rock!!! Ian will be 11 months by then, crazy!!! I give my last final on Dec. 13 and then we are leaving the 14th and will return the 21st.

Yesterday my mom and I took the kids on a picnic and to the playground. Addison got in big trouble for running off and into a road. Other than that incident she was good. We visited my grandma too and Addison thought it was really cool she got to go to the nursing home kitchen and get grandma soup with Nana. It's the little things to kids that are the biggest deals, I love it. She didn't tell Josh about the playground, but sure told him about that bowl of soup and eating crackers with grandma.

It's kind of good today has been so crappy, it is curbing my puppy fever. Josh dropped off some donation food yesterday and while there he had to look at the dogs of course. There is an adorable puppy that I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to bring home. But... I'm in a mess already. There are tiny toys scattered about constantly and I can just see a puppy eating them all. Plus Ian plays on the floor all the time, but is too little to defend himself so a puppy would be difficult. I really wish it was the right time, but I think next summer would be better. *** POUT POUT POUT *** I hate being responsible. Anyone want to talk me into this puppy? Look at this face...

Hmmm, maybe we could handle it.

2nd Half of 2011; July 3, 2011

Now that we are in the second half of 2011 I started a new page. The other one was getting too slow to load. If you want to read the first half of 2011 click here...

2011 Part I Kids

Fireworks over monitors are extrememly annoying. I had to get that out first.

Things have been pretty good lately. Friday my mom watched Ian for a bit while Josh and I had lunch alone (Addison was at daycare). I also got to run errands alone, which was so nice!!! Friday night Josh had to work late so Cheryl and the girls came up and we all had dinner together. We then painted all the girl's toenails red, white, and blue for the holiday. I put strips on my and Addison's big toes and then realized what I actually painted was the French flag. We all got a good laugh out of it.

Saturday Addison had gymnastics in the morning to make up for missing Wednesday (Josh had to work late when he usually gets off early so couldn't take her). After that me and her went to Makenzie's blazing hot t-ball game while all the men got started cutting the trees in our yard. We lost a few tall trees in the storms recently. It sucks and was a huge mess, but with our awesome crew of 5 big strong men they had it cleaned up in a matter of hours. There is still some cutting to do, but the mess branches and leaves are gone. Both chainsaws died before they could totally finish.

Oh, and while I'm on the topic of our yard, I never mentioned our moat fixing. It looks great! They did an awesome job and we have had some huge rainfalls lately and it is holding up beautifully. The grass has come in really nice too. The bad part though: it went $3,000 OVER budget. Suuuuuck my asssssss!!! It needed done, but DAMN!!!

Saturday night we had one of the best moments. Josh and Addison were snuggled up on the couch watching tv when Ian and I snuggled right up next to them then here came Sidney. We all sat like that for quite a while watching tv and it was one of the best moments I can remember in a while. It felt wonderful and peaceful. Quentin's memory was right behind us too so even though he wasn't physically on that couch, I felt him close. I love my family, even if they can each drive me nuts sometimes.

Today was fun. Josh, Addison, me, Tim, Angie, and Savannah went to a waterpark while my parents watched Ian. It's just too hot for the little guy to be outside. The girls had a good time and so did we. Something scary happened while we were there though, a 3 year old boy was found unresponsive at the bottom of one of the pools. We saw all the lifeguards running to the location about 20 yards from us and then they got the AED, oxygen, and finally wheeled him out on a stretcher. Apparently they were able to revive him and he is okay. It's a good reminder though to be diligent on watching your kids. It only takes a second for something like that to happen. I held my kids extra tight tonight.

Tonight at dinner Addison was playing with her peas and Josh told her to knock it off and she busts out with "Dumbass!" Oye that kid. I had to excuse myself from the table so I wouldn't laugh in front of her. She has been good the last couple of days. She is clearly developing more attitude but that comes with the age so we are dealing with it.

Ian has been a mess the past few days. He is really fussy. He screams bloody murder and nothing will make him happy. It sucks. He has also been a massive puking mess. He is throwing up so dang much. The two don't seem to be related, but it's hard to tell. Actually today he hardly puked at all, but was yelling for 30 minutes straight. He wants held a lot too. I don't see any swelling in his gums, but perhaps he is trying to teeth. I don't know but I miss my happy baby.

Addison's Stats
Age Date Weight Percentile Height Percentile Location
24 Months 3/24/11 25 lbs 8 oz 36 34 59 pediatrician
18 Months 10/19/10 22 lbs 8 oz 20 33.5 90 pediatrician
15 Months 7/9/10 21 lbs 5 oz 24 30.5 50 pediatrician
1 Year 3/13/10 19 lbs 14 oz 26 28.5 26 pediatrician
9 Months 11/25/09 18 lbs 2 oz 32 27.0 26 pediatrician
6 Months 9/30/09 16 lbs 3 oz 56 25.5 43 pediatrician
4 Months 7/30/09 14 lbs 0 oz 50-75 24.25 inches 50 pediatrician
2 Months 5/22/09 11 lbs 2 oz 80 22 inches 59 pediatrician
2 Weeks 4/9/09 6 lbs 13 oz 10-25 n/a n/a pediatrician
1 Week 4/3/09 5 lbs 12 oz n/a n/a n/a pediatrician
Birth 3/31/09 6 lbs 6 oz 12 20.25 inches 75 birth room

Ian's Stats
Age Date Weight Percentile Height Percentile Location
10 Months 11/25/11 21 lbs 12 oz 60 29 63 pediatrician
6.5 Months 8/17/11 19 lbs 9 oz 74 27.5 73 pediatrician
5 Months 6/22/11 16 lbs 14 oz 69 25.5 50 pediatrician
4 Months 5/31/11 16 lbs 1 oz 75 n/a n/a pediatrician
3 Months 4/29/11 14 lbs 8 oz 72 n/a n/a pediatrician
2 Months 3/24/11 11 lbs 12 oz 59 22.5 35 pediatrician
2 Weeks 2/10/11 7 lbs 12 oz 25 n/a n/a pediatrician
1 Week 2/3/11 7 lbs 0 oz n/a n/a n/a pediatrician
2 Days 1/30/11 6 lbs 13 oz n/a n/a n/a pediatrician
Birth 1/28/11 7 lbs 4 oz 32 21 inches 88 birth room


2011 Part I Kids