Another Day
Mood:
irritated
Topic: Just Today
So, another day in my boring life. Its Saturday night and i am waiting on my boyfriend to get here... fun fun! Anyways, so there have been a few new changes that have occurred since the last time i wrote... we had a huge fight yesterday because he got tonight off, and that never happens, he works at a restaurant as a second job at night, so he never gets a weekend night off, and he actually did. So being his girlfriend who is patient, i figured that he would want to go out and spend some time with me, ya know since the only time that i get to see him is when he gets off work at 11 at night and then we go to be, and then we both have to get up early every day and go out separate ways. So i was excited yesterday when i remembered that he had Saturday night off, but then he mad a comment that he wanted to go out and drink. Well, i will not be 21 for another few weeks, so i knew when he said that, that his plans did not include me. So, i was kinda pissed and i started asking questions, and i asked who he was planning of going out with, and he told me his friend Chris who is a total bar slut, and goes from bar to bar every night and picks up random girls and sleeps with then and then never calls them again. He is a very attractive guy thats how he pulls it off, but like i want my boyfriend around that! I doubt it! Yeah right, so i was not trying to make him mad or threaten him, but i just told him to go do what he wants. That if he wants that kinda of a single life, then go get it i don't want to hold him back! And he blew up at me and told me that i was so stupid i would leave him because he wanted to go out with his friends, and i know what you are thinking. But let me just say this, i am only 20, almost 21 in a few weeks, i am almost done with school, in less than a month, and i am trying my hardest to work and save money so that i can have nice things and a good life. I have partied so much in my life, i went down that road already, i drank every night for about a year and went to the clubs and did my thing every night! I have been there, and then i woke up on morning, and i realized that i had done nothing with my life in the past year except party and drink, and sleep with random guys, and i realized that i was better than that and that i wanted more for myself. So, i went after my goals and i have done pretty well for myself. I want to finish school, and get a good job, save money and find the right person who also shares my goals and dreams, and start a life and a family together. Now i know that sounds like a story book, but that i what i have set my goals at and that is what i am working for and my parents are behind me and encouraging me, and i know that i can accomplish that. Now my boyfriend however, works two jobs and makes decent money, but he has to spend all day everyday at two jobs to make that kind of money. He always talks about going to school, and doing this and that with his life, but talk is cheap. not saying that i will only be with someone who goes to school, but i want him to have a good life too, and not have to work 2 jobs to make it! Anyways, he has that life and then sometimes the other old side comes out! And he wants to hang out at the bars and drink all the time and that is not going to get him or us where we claim that we want to be! So, i have nothing against drinking, don't get me wrong, i can appreciate a good night every now and then, and a beer here and there, but i just let it get in my way once and i refuse to let that happen again! So, heres my problem, that is not who my boyfriend is, he is not lush or drunk, he usually is a job oriented person, who is really good at getting his bills paid first, and he usually is the right guy for me, the stay home with me family guy, but it comes in spirts that he wants to drink and go out a lot, and last time he went out he started talking to that Amanda girl, so.. i just don't really have a lot of trust for him anymore, so until he earns that back, and can prove to me than when he goes out with these bar slut friends that he has, that he is not going to pick up any girls numbers and call them behind my back, and act like a single guy, but then have me whenever he wants me and treat me like a princess when around, but then behind my back he just calls other girls, not down with that.. just sooooo confused and i feel like none has the answers!!!!!!