spring break should be 52 weeks a year

the bus driver (aka emily), little k (aka karen), the whore, later changed to the rabid gnome whore (aka paige), and karen's bitch (aka lauren)---afro abe (our spring break mascot)---we drove through needles...twice...on the same day---"god damn it! why do there have to be two 95's?"---so there was this one truck driver who almost ran us off the road and was passing other cars and even trucks...can we say road rage?---why is it that we go over 30 dips on the road and THEN there's a sign warning us of dips?---"we need to steal signs from vidal...get it? vidal signs?..."---emily went off the curb at the "osed" texaco in videl...it was really funny---we had to pay 2.99 for regular gas becase texaco was "osed"...damn you videl...oh, but lauren got to see some cats with hair---"what kind of a dumbass can't figure out that when we say CALIFORNIA LANDING we are probably on the WRONG side of the lake?!?"---so we were going to stop at the mcdonald's that was in 1/2 a mile...but it didn't exist---karen had to pee so we stopped at the burger king in parker...and we stole some pretty groovy crowns while we were there---paige: "oohhh...aheyah...PENIS!"---karen: "hey guys, we just went through earp"---um yeah...we got lost...for about 100 miles...---"arizona is stupid!"---"the water's not rinsy!"---paddling wind (aka karen's bitch or lauren)---we were on the pirate boat...arrrrr...---paige: "bring my my water wench!"---paige: "i like to spread butt on my ass"---"butt...er...jam?"---"do the unicorn! neeeeeeeee!"---"why are they running?"/"because they're fat"---having to jump into the water to go pee was not too fun, could have done without that---"beer grenade!"---"we do anything for beer" (wink, wink)---people: "so who did you come with?"/us: "oh, 4 girls from my house and about 40 guys"---"nothing like floating on a lake listening to a song about abortion"---"alpha what!"---paul (aka can't open a beer): "um guys, paige just fell off the boat"(note that this is while it was moving)---"we're totally raging"---"did you earn those?"---"is that a canoe?"/"no, that's a duck"---paige: "let me drive the boat. i've been on boats since i was five...(paige is driving the boat)...we need to make a left..."/people on boat: "no paige, no!"---"dude, that duck has a mullet!"---duke had fun with his dookie...---"sea legs!"---lauren had to go to the hospital...for her toe---emily: "do you know where you are?"/lauren: "9495862147"---we met some alpha phis there...yeah, they were fat---"why did the purdue alpha phis have to be fat?"---lauren ran into a wall...at full speed---people: "what happened to you?"/paige: "i got in a fight...with a boat...but don't worry, cause i won"---lauren jumped off a 30 foot rock...and got huge bruises on her legs...we just told everyone that she was raped---lauren: "guys, look at the bruise on my leg"/us: "did you look at your other leg?!?"---"bombs over baghdad...well technically they're missiles. there's something to be said for alliteration"---paige: "did they just say nipples?"/"yes paige, they're shooting nipples at baghdad"---b mac kept producing all these condoms from somewhere and kept giving them to us...then he decided to put them in his mouth and blow them up...he said "its like bubble gum"...sure it is b mac---b mac: "spermicide tastes bad"---"expose to light for 30 seconds, then rise and shine" (directions for the glow-in-the-dark condoms b mac gave us)---matt: "yeah, it's like a strobe light...light, dark, light, dark, in, out..." (he was referring to the glow-in-the-dark condoms)---paige: "i like riding duke's ass"---matt to paige: "you're like a rabid gnome"---paige: "everybody, this is ben...ben, everybody, ben...ben...ben...everybody...ben...everybody...everybody..."---lauren: "um paige, could you close the door cuz the light's refracting off the tv" (paige turns off the lights...but doesn't close the door)---"do you think i was loud enough?"---"come and get molested at kokohomo's!"---emily and lauren: "we got barely legal shirts!"---"caution: may enhance the appearance of others"---emily: "i'm a pterodactyl!"---lake havasu blues

reasons why arizona is stupid

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Duke
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