it seems like my life gets more and more depressing every day. school is coming up again. my last year. one more year that'll go by fast and i'm gone. i haven't taken my SAT'S, i haven't taken my swim test, i got a D in U.S history and didn't bother to make it up, and i still don't know what to do with my life or where to go to college. probably the only good thing that's happened recently was my house warming. 10 of my friends came over. it was fun. turns out mikey and matt were the only guys. ok, back to school. i was thinking about becoming a pilot in the navy or air force. i love flying. this year i was thinking about not playing volleyball. i hate to admit it, but i think it's in the way of my school work.

something happened last night which is the reason why i started this journal thing in the first place. a couple of weeks ago, rozanne told me we needed to talk. i guess i'll tell the whole story...

four years ago, i met rozanne on aol. actually, first i met her cousin. when i saw her cousin online again, i IMed her, but it was rozanne. so we started talking online a lot. freshman year was when we started talking on the phone almost everyday (at the time she was living in daly city). sophomore year she moved to vallejo and we sorta lost touch. we rarely talked online. then junior year i moved to daly city. one day when i was talking to her, she told me to page her cause she said she could call, so i did, and we started talking again. a little bit later, we bought this house in antioch. during the school week i would stay @ auntie elvie's house. february was when me and nella starting going out. but we broke up a month later cause it wasn't really working out. we hardly saw each other during school. so i told rozanne. she told me that when i told her i had a girlfriend, she started crying. so, we basically confessed our feelings towards each other, and said we never said anything b/c we didn't want to ruin our friendship (a common reason for many friendships/relationships). well we got closer but the weird thing is, at that time, we still haven't met. we've seen pictures of each other but that was it. she told me about how vallejo changed her. how on her "4th" b-day (leap year), she did so many bad things. but she said she didn't like it, which is good. one thing she didn't mind doing (i guess) was sneak out with her friends late at night. anyways, last month i went to l.a. for a church conference. i bought her an angel-like, blueish, purpleish stuffed eeyor. (they didn't have a stuffed belle at disneyland). when i got back from l.a., i decided to drop it off. so i asked for her address, saying my parents will let me come over some time. on my way there i bought a yellow rose (i know yellow means friendship, but that's her favorite color). so i got to vallejo, thinking i knew how to get there. after an hour of driving around, i call her and ask for directions. so i finally get there and park across the street. i casually walk across the street, casually walk to her driveway, casually place the items i got for her down, then RAN across the street and hid behind my car. i had my dad's cell phone so i called her and told her to look out at her driveway: "hey! you came here?" "nah, my friend dropped it off for me." so she went outside and walked towards the gift. and i tell her, "hey look across the street. do you see anything?" "uh... no" "okay, look right, down the street." "uh... no.. oh wait! uh.. no." then i got up from my hiding place. "look across the street again." and she looked... "you're such a dork." we didn't really get to see each other cause she had to go back in. so i drove all the way there, got lost, dropped off the gift, just to see her for less than a minute... but it was well worth it.

so now it brings me to last night. one day she said we needed to talk and that it would be better in person. last night my parents slept in the city so i drove to vallejo after 11, when her parents were at work. it was the first time i've seen her up-close. well, we started talking and she told me the story. when she snuck out w/ her friends, they would sometimes go to fairfield. in fairfield, she met this guy and started liking him. a lot. she told me other stuff like how he's the jealous type and all. i didn't mention anything about us b/c i knew she was over me. she kept asking if i was concerned about anything. i said no. we went to jack in the box cause she was craving a shake, but i ended up buying her chili fries. hehe. that was when i asked. i asked about us. she said that she's liked me for the longest time, even when she had a boyfriend she said she would sometimes think about me. but when she met that guy, she lost all feelings towards me. i acted like it didn't bother me cause at the time, it really didn't. i got home at 2 in the morning. that night i coudln't sleep. it felt like i was stabbed in the heart and the knife was twisted so the wound wouldn't heal. i wrote about it in my aol profile. i changed my profile a lot, writing what i felt. i know i'll get over this. i just need some time. i loved her so much. i guess we'll just wait and see. school hasn't started yet and already it feels like the worst year of my life. i guess the reason why i want to be w/ a girl is b/c i'm so lonely. every time i would start to have feelings for someone else i'd force myself to stop b/c i loved rozanne. now i don't know if i want to deal w/ relationships. i'll just stay single my whole life, and die a loner. right now i'm watching dave letterman. i'll probably go to sleep at 3 again. staying up late, waking up late, living my boring, loser life on the internet, beating everyone at yahoo pool. i go on so much. it's addicting. i'll just wait til everyone goes to sleep so they won't want to use the phone. i want to cut my hair now. i tried growing it out, but it's hard. it's about 3 inches now. i bought these clippers but the longest is ½ an inch. i might cut it that short. it's just hard getting hair the way you want it. i need a hairstylist. hehe. oh well. i'll see you later.

9:31PM wow. i haven't written in a long time. i finally finished my homework early...well, somewhat early. so much stuff has happened. i took my SAT's last saturday. i think i did okay. i was more relaxed than i thought i would be. i finally figured out what i want to do & where i want to go. i want to be an air force pilot. in order to do so, i must have my degree. so, i really want to go to san jose state b/c they're pretty big in flying, i think. and they have an AFROTC. if i join that, i can get a scholarship. i'm really stressing out w/ apps & school stuff. i'm doing pretty bad in all my classes. the only thing close to relaxing is the musical b/c it's fun. i play bud frump. what a character! it's pretty funny but i feel that i say things certain ways that doesn't make it funny. and my singing isn't that great. at least i can hit the high notes. i've been going home every weekend. we have cable! yes! it's still boring. cable makes it worse cause you get hooked on it. i really need to send my apps in. hmm...should i call rozanne? haven't talked to her on the phone in a long time. it's always busy and i don't want to page her. i read her profile over the weekend. it's a song about missing someone. is it me? she IMed me and asked when i was going to visit her again. what does this mean? i think i still like her. i always did. she said she might go to sjsu also. ain't that cool? we could be roommates! ha! i wish.

oh! cirocco's in the play too. so is david, wayne, charisse, april, christine, sue may, george, davin, and other people. the usual singers and actors, and some new people. i can't wait to start performing. it's going to be so fun. hold on. let me try to call rozanne...what the hell is 808? i dialed that, then 528. what is that? anyway, it was busy, as usual. i wonder who she's talking to. should i page her? i really want to talk to her. well, star trek's almost on. damn i'm such a trekkie. hey! but it's cool and you know it! 9:55PM

9:24PM i can't believe i wrote nov. why? i don't know. winterball was last weekend. the place was cool. i went to jenna's house to pick her up & meet alla there. her whole family was having a party. as soon as i came in, everyone started making that cheering noise & stuff. all loud. it overwhelmed me. hehe. her cousins were upstairs helping jenna get finished. they all kept looking at me. i met jenna's stepmom's dad. he was hard to comprehend (whoo...big word). he talked very softly and it was loud. alla got there by the time jenna was ready. we took pictures by the christmas tree. then me & jenna (jenna & i) followed alla to her date's house. we decided to take 1 car b/c it was easier. we got at the metreon a little early but decided not to eat. too bad. i was starving. we walked around for a while. by the time we got to the fourth floor, there were hella people. as soon as we got in, we took pictures. the photographer told me to put my hand in my pocket. i tried to be all smooth and swung my jacket around to my back. i ended up knocking the tree over. everyone was laughing. i didn't know what else to do, so i just bowed. after, we walked around the place, trying to see what was there. it was pretty interesting. then we started dancing, & dancing.... & dancing. when they were announcing the king & queen, some guy threw up... "and the king and queen...morgan wallace and sami-" braghfoughbrahf!!!! it was pretty nasty. they started clearing the area. i thought they did it b/c the court was dancing there. people stepped on the barf. vomit. throw-up (including kim...hehe). that's basically all that happened. on our way back, i fell asleep without knowing. i was hella tired b/c i didn't eat anything after v-ball tryouts. i did horrible in the tryouts. my hip was still bothering me from when i dove on it the week before. plus my shoes sucked like hell. they have no cushioning & it felt like i was playing barefoot. i was tired & in pain when norm made us do our 5 lines (the whole gym). then he made the returning players sprint 4 laps. he told me to sit out b/c i was dizzy, but i jogged the laps. after tryouts i drove laura, lin. & cherrylenne to walgreen's on 9th st. i had to pick them up first, of course. i went to guitar center to play the electric drums. i love double bass pedals. hmmm... this pen is running out of ink already. i bought a whole pack of these. i hella blocked norm today. i made this face at him & realized after how stupid it was. it was my warface w/ me yelling...hehehe. damn it felt good. i'll most likely hit tomorrow. i haven't hit in a while. well, i guess i'll go now. see ya. 10:00PM

8:27PM i'm writing kinda slow. i guess that's why it looks a lot neater. dance class is cool. i got confused & lost & i can't do turns & i can't do anything else but that's okay. trig is easy. it's just going to be a semester of review. last night tamiko came over. oh, no. i think it was monday. she wanted to do soemthing so we went bowling. it was fun. we kept fooling around. after, we went to red robin & had this apple pie crumb thing with ice cream on top. it was really sweet but good. i wasn't used to tasting hot & cold at the same time. it was weird. wow. i'm writing like a girl...cool(?) i'm still sore from condition yesterday. after we did our sprint relay, i had this pain on my back legs, then i started cramping up like hell on my foot. now my right thigh hurts & my right forearm hurts b/c tony ran into it full-speed. yesterday norm told the setters not to do as much. we brought a ball out w/ us (the setters) & norm made this stupid rule about how we have to hold on to it at all times & if one of the players hits it or gets it away from us, we have to do 20 burpies. oh & we're not allowed to put it in our bag either. harvey dropped it off the bleachers when we were doing froggies. hmm...what else should i write about? i'm waiting for rozanne to call back but i doubt she will. maybe i'll bring my football to conditioning. today was a light workout. we got out at 4:30 b/c norm had to go to costco to buy more candy. i sold... 2 bags. yes! alex sold.. what.. 21? i think. that boy works too hard. chris didn't come so we had to run 2 extra laps. i'm lazy and i'm out of shape. brb. i had to get the laundry from the van. hehehe. they're watching candid camera. they drew a hopscotch thingy on the floor & filmed people as they walked by. some of them did it. sue may was bored last night so i tried to make her laugh. it worked. yay! i got her LOL...ing..hehe. woo! oh yeah. i have this project for dance class. we have to make a collage. i'm gonna use a bunch of pictures. my nephew aj came over last night. he's so cute. he found this can and said "de agua" (of water). "i shake et." he was pointing to a yellow lightbulb and said "ball." so i told him it was "luces" (lights). he still wanted it. i want to bring him to school one day. such a chick magnet. well, goodbye. 9:03PM

WE BEAT LINCOLN!!! oh man, this was the best game ever. everyone was so pumped up. they pulled ahead first b/c i messed up. but the first game was closer than i thought. harvey set me this nice 3 that i hit so hard & it found the hole! well, there was no block. hold up, my hand is starting to cramp up. okay, i got so many blocks today i don't even remember how many. the scores were 16-14 (?) lincoln, 15-8 lowell, 15-11 lincoln, 15-4 lowell, 21-19 lowell!! i don't know where to start! okay, i got 2 kills off the 3, a couple from right side, and a few from outside. i got blocked once (it was a 2) and dug a couple of times. my favorite hit was a tip from right side. i started smiling even before i jumped b/c i somehow knew this was gonna fall. i got two kills from setting the ball to campfire, and one by an overpass in a critical part of the game (last set). i'm not sure how many assists i got, but i was way off on the outside. i kept pushing the sets too far out. i can't believe how many blocks i got (or touches). they actually avoided setting my side! i'm talking to thomas about it now. it easily could have went either way. so much crap man. we had more chances of winning though. damn i can't believe we won. okay. moving on. a couple of days ago i IMed sue may saying she was beautiful. then i said, "sorry, i couldn't help it." you know what she did? she smiled and said i was so sweet! i feel special when she asks if i'm okay or how my legs are (hehe). it's like she really cares for me. i don't want to get too confident though. wow. she just said i made her smile when i walked into her store looking happy. she said the more i'm happy, the more it makes her smile. that makes me happy. wow. a lot of happiness going on here. every time i see her, it makes me happy. there goes that word again. happy happy happy....

it's been over a month since i last wrote in this. okay. grad trip was fun. i didn't take that much photos. oh. let me come back to that. graduation... yes, we finally graduated. it was an emotional day for a lot of people. helen, for one, started crying when we started walking in. as i was standing there, waiting to sit down, i started to reminisce(<--eh?) about the past four years. i had a lot of good times at lowell, and now my experience is over. it sucks. i know i'm hella gonna miss lowell. i admit it was tough holding back tears (i'm a big softy, i know), but i did manage to hold them back. well graduation was pretty long, but finally, it was my moment. i started preparing by cracking my neck, & getting loose, you know.. hehe. then, mr. dayco called my name. i heard this loud cheer as i walked towards mr. chang. shook his hand, and walked down. i don't know how i felt at the moment. all i could do was smile. afterwards, all the hype of graduation slowly began to fade until eventually it was as if nothing special happened. it just came and gone. after i picked up my diploma i went looking for people, sue may of course. i followed behind her. she was looking for people too. she stopped and turned around. we stared at each other until we came to each other and hugged. i spent the rest of the time there taking pictures w/ everyone. then i ended up eating at sizzler with brian, jeff, and george, which is very ironic, being that i've never really hung out with them. my parents left me to go eat, so i was feeling alone. hehe. the next day was senior last dance but i went to school early to take care of last minute business. ms. chan wanted to give me something as a going away gift, and for joining that little focus group. i ended up in the yearbook room and stayed there. i picked up sue may then went home to change. dance was cool. it was really fun actually. afterwards everyone was getting emotional, hugging & crying. it was a good way to end the year, to end the last day of our lives as high school seniors. we went to jess's party after. people getting drunk, of course. not me. well, the night ended w/ someone getting maced by a "regulator", starting all this crap for no apparent reason. then it was time for senior trip. oh man was it a long trip to l.a. the air conditioning in our bus was broken. it sucked. it was so hot in the bus. plus we sat in the back where the engine was (and restroom, might i add). then there was about an hour or so left and the bus driver announced we could open the emergency hatch on the ceiling all the way open. everyone was mad. hehe. the rush of wind felt so good though. later it got kinda cold. so we went to hard rock café first. it was alright. we had a choice of hamburger, cheeseburger, or gardenburger, like i expected, but it was good. then we went to disneyland for "grad night": 11pm-5am. oh that was tiring. i was too tired to really enjoy it, but it was fun. we got back and i fell asleep in the girls' room. we only got 3 hours. hehe. we had to go to the beach. it was really relaxing. i made my lounge chair in sand, which has become an unofficial ritual of mine, so-to-speak. it was very comfortable. well we tried to leave but some people went off somewhere and didn't come back, making us about an hour late. we got ready for midieval times. now that was cool. we had to eat with our hands. nope. no utensils in this place. we had, what the girls like to call, the "hot/cute" blue knight. ALL the girls were jocking him. i got seperated from everyone else. the knight threw the rose to sue may. that bastard! =) it's okay cause he gets killed >=). after that people decided to party since it was our last night. ever since we got back to the hotel i was roaming around everywhere. i was bored. i went to the 8th floor, where no students were, down to the 3rd floor where everyone was partying, then down to the lobby. later i tried looking for sue may but i couldn't find her, so i assumed she went to bed. i ended up in the lobby by myself at around 1 or so, just chillin there, playing cards... by myself.. i played with christine and karen later. pat and alla came down later, then desiree, and we just started talking. some serious issues man. i actually prefer just sitting there, talking about nothing than partying. i don't know what's wrong with me. well i got back to my room at 5 in the morning and accidentally fell asleep. later i found out sue may went back to her room at 3. oh well. i fell asleep on the la-z-boy. i woke up at 8 and got ready for six flags. some people were running late, oversleeping, with their hangovers... a lot of people fell asleep on the way there. i'm sure they were tired from last night. six flags was, of course, fun. i've never been there. the trip back home seemed to take half an hour cause everyone was asleep. sharon stayin in l.a. w/ her sister. when i was sleeping in the chair, sung was sleeping across the aisle from us. he had the whole row to himself. anyways, while i was sleeping, i suddenly felt something poking me. by the time i realized it was sung's toe, he had his whole foot on my ribs. what the? eh, it's okay. after a pit stop, sue may fell asleep on the whole chair, so i stood up behind the chairs, in front of the restroom. then i ended up falling asleep on the floor, which turned out to be rather comfortable. it was warm. hahaha. we got back to lowell at 4 in the morning. we said our goodbyes, i said goodbye to sue may, and i slowly walked up eucalyptus drive to the M stop. i missed the train. darn. so i had to wait an hour in the cold for the next one. it was really really cold. so we get to west portal, but the tunnel wasn't open so we had to get out and wait in the cold for the bus (we meaning people that were crazy enough to be awake at 5 in the morning). anyways, i got to powell and caught the FIRST bart train of the day, to pittsburg. ironic how it worked out that way. then i had to wait for my parents to pick me up. i got home at 8am, yes, 4 hours later. plus i had choir rehearsal at 1, so i went to sleep and my mom woke me up later. and that... was it. the last adventure as a group w/ lowell. i didn't want to end it. i didn't want to go home, or leave l.a. i didn't want to stop seeing my friends, but i knew it had to end sometime. i've made so much friends at lowell, more than i expected. and unfortunately, i lost a few. it was a new experience for me, growing up as a loner, basically. i never really started haning out with friends until i got to high school. it was fun. the best four years of my life so far, and now it's over. on my way home, even though i was dead tired, i couldn't help but enjoy the morning. that day, i really felt like i accomplished something huge. something i never thought i would accomplish. i had this sense of independence... of being able to do anything. so, what's next for me? well, college. that means new experiences, a new "life". i must take what i've learned in high school and use it to survive. not only the things i learned in class (which isn't a lot), but also what i learned from life experiences. it's pretty scary, but i know i have friends that are going through the same thing. i can't wait. the only thing i have to say to the world out there is, "i accomplished this, now bring it on" (yes. very corny. i know).

well, to update on summer, yay! my nephew's here. haven't seen him in a while. we're supposed to be going to l.a. to visit cameron, then we're going to vegas to stay with my sister a couple of days. me and sue may talk on the phone pretty much everyday. last time i saw her was last week. we just watched tv at her house cause she couldn't take the car. speaking of cars, mine is broken. the radiator had a crack in it and it overheated when i was going from sf to antioch. the engine kept shaking too. last friday i went to sjsu w/ kingston, helen, and nina. it was fun, but boring at the same time. after going there it made me want to go there even more, but at the same time, it made me scared. scared of doing bad and maybe failing out of school. they said 1 out of 3 students will be on probation by the end of the first semester. that's scary. i turned in my college stuff, oh & i'm looking for a job. hopefully @ guitar center. oh yeah, sue may visited me here. that was the day my car overheated. after i drove her home. mikey's planning to come here w/ some volleyball people, but not this week cause he has work & i'm going to be gone. i finally started dling mp3's. cool huh? it's about time. i am so computer illiterate, but i'm slowly learning. i'm listening to the radio to find more songs to get, but i don't know the names of them, and i don't know who sang them. okay, i'm pretty much done with this looooong entry. hopefully i'll keep writing, if i'm not too lazy. which i am. seriously, i've been waking up at noon. it's horrible. i know... so is my writing.

i really don't know what the date is today. or what time it is. i don't have a clock in my room. judging by rex's 4 alarms going off... 7 times, i'd say it's around 3:45am. i just finished reading sharon's memory book. it reminded me of the good times at lowell. i tell you, that girl can write! reading her journal really touched me in a way i can't even describe. so many memories. you know, a girl like sharon doesn't come around too often. i can't believe how lucky i am to know her. okay, my brother's getting ready to take a shower. today was the first day i've seen sharon since grad trip. if you ask me, that's just way too long NOT seeing that girl. she made spaghetti, then we went to the beach. it was so beautiful there. it looked so different. so.. so...clean. the whole beach was flat and the wind made the sand smooth. it was actually a little too windy. i dropped her off and went to play volleyball. i don't really want to get into that right now. i think i pulled a muscle. man that was a quick shower. well, after v-ball, i picked up sharon and we went to get her album at cheryl's house. then we went to kinkos. i had a lot of fun today. and now i'm really tired but i don't want to sleep yet. well, college has been on my mind a lot. i'm afraid i won't be able to go to sjsu. thanks to housing. i got a loan which covers tuition, it's just that housing is way too expensive and my parents can't afford it (notice how i said my parents and not me). they're trying to get a loan right now. oh, remind me to turn in the request form tomorrow, before they run out of money to give to me. did i tell you i bought a guitar? takamine. on sale for $250. it's an acoustic/electric. nothing fancy. just something i can learn with. so yeah, back to college. mom asked me a couple of days ago why i wanted to go to san jose state. "it's too far," she said. i didn't say anything. i didn't want to tell her that i didn't want to be stuck here. i guess i'm just tired of having to tell them where i'm going or when i'm coming back. i'm tired of them always getting mad at me for always playing volleyball or always sleeping late. i'm tired of them bothering me. i guess you can say i'm tired of them... caring for me. yet there's a part of me that doesn't want to leave. but i have to. how else will i learn? and how else will i grow? hold on. my dad's awake. gotta pretend like i fell asleep..... okay.. i'm using the tap light as my source of.. well, light. dad turned my lamp off. it's so sad to hear him so tired from walking up and down the stairs. he's so out of shape. that's another reason why i want to stay... to be with my dad, due to his condition and all. but i sorta feel obligated you know?. he's looking really skinny now. lost a lot of weight. his pants are huge on him. i don't know how my parents are, or how they're dealing with this. i haven't asked. in fact, we've never had one of those heart to heart talks... ever. here i am, wanting to leave them. it sucks how much i take them for granted. i want to open up to them, but a part of me can't. i feel a sense of awkwardness doing so. i guess you can't say that we have a close relationship. i don't know why. i'm the "baby" of the family, so i they can't really let go. i think. i'm gonna play guitar.

wow, i just noticed i started writing my dates differently now. you know what i forgot to talk about? how things are between me and sue may. that day when me, sue may, and sharon were supposed to go out, we couldn't get a hold of sharon so we just ended up wathcing a movie. i was scared. i didn't know how things would be. not to my surprise, it was okay. right from the moment we said hi. i am actually kinda glad sharon wasn't there. it gave me a chance to really put closure on me and sue may's relationship. it let me see that things were really going to be okay between us. sharon asked me on the phone last night if i missed sue may. i told her that i did, a little, sometimes. i sometimes think about our time together, but i've moved on. i know it's over. as for rozanne, well, things aren't really the way i hoped it would be. then again, i'm not sure how i want things to be. she said she needs to talk to me again, and that it need to be in person (hmm.... sounds familiar). i haven't been talking to her lately. she said that she came to a "conclusion" about us. no, it was that she had closure or something. so, i pretty much can guess that she's going to say. i guess i'm okay with it. it's just we've been through so much stuff together in the past, for a long time. i can't help thinking about what it would have been like. you know, with her...

okay. it's decided. me & rudy are going to get a cheap studio, or a room for the both of us. he said forget about the other two guys. actually he said something else but i choose not to write it. i went to san jose state today, for the convocation crap. boring as hell. i got to see everyone though. the rest of the cool. i spent the afternoon pretty much with jorge, tuan, sam, & rudy. oh and kingston too. okay, so here's the plan. i have no choice but to commute the first week. kingston said i could sleep over. i'll sleep over sunday night, since school starts monday. then come home monday or sleep over another night. man this is crooked. hoep <--- woops. hopefully i can get the van for a couple of days. then, depending on when i can, i'll get my mom to sign the lease if we need her to. i figure by the end of the week, or early next week, we'll be able to move in, given that we actually have a place to stay. if not, then i'm going to have a lot of free time. for books, let's see... i was hoping i could use some of the financial aid money to pay for it, but since i haven't gotten it yet, i guess i'll have to ask my mom, or borrow from... oh! rica! yeah. then once i get the money (if there's still enough to give to me) then i'll pay her back. i can apply for that air force scholarship again. if not, at least for work-study. okay. enough about that. i just got off the phone with rozanne. it appears that she has a boyfriend. she said things between us weren't going anywhere. despite knowing how we feel towards each other. she wants to be friends forever. i expected something like this and prepared for the worst, so i'm okay with it. really. i think. i guess it's just best for the both of us. i don't know. deep down inside i have this feeling that we're supposed to be together (cliché, i know). i know someday we will be and regret taking so long. hehe. i think. i'm not sure. so it's okay. i can wait. at least now i can go around school (hopefully) meeting new people (or girls, whatever), not having to worry about how rozanne will react to it. hey. as long as she's happy, i'm happy (another cliché...darn) you know what? i've started a lot of my journal entries on the back side of teh page. i hate that side. i hate the bottom too! oh well. san jose state! here i come! (cliché) AOL time!

my first thought when i woke up today was "maybe i should drive the van to school." i should have listened...

i was running a little late for school, as usual. but little did i know this would be anything but a usual day. first i noticed that my right rear tire was flat. not completely flat, but flat enough for you to notice, and to be dangerous. so my dad started his air compressor thing, and started pumping air in my tire. guess what he finds on the inside... a nail. great. so i tighten the negative charge on the battery back on (there's something wrong with the fuse, or alternator, or regulator, or any other... -or. when i leave the car overnight, the battery will completely drain. nothing will start. so after i use it, i have to unscrew the negative charge, so the battery won't drain.), and my dad starts the pray-before-i-leave ritual. he just asks God to guide me to and from school, and to have a safe trip, and so on.

so i get gas, and i'm on way to school. i'm about to reach the toll gate, and i see cars going my way, but on the other side of the bridge...eh? oh. i see. they closed down the right side of the bridge for maintenance. so we have to go under the freeway, and around to the other side. that's okay. okay. i'm near the first draw bridge and the red light is on, meaning we have to stop. i immediately think that it's just the orange guys and their orange truck, doing maintenance, holding up everyone again. last time, it took them 10 mins just to throw a rope up to another guy. only this time...wow! the bridge is actually lifting up! that's a first. i'm kinda far back, and i can't see the ship going under. hmm...maybe it's one of those small private ones. less than 2 mins later, the bridge goes down, and traffic resumes. as i'm crossing it, i look to my left... no boat. i look to my right... hmm.. no boat. did the bridge trap it under? oh. it's just one of the maintenance people testing it. no biggy. so i'm on highway 12, on my way to i-5 and i'm about to pass this diesel truck. go for it! i do. i merge on to the opposite lane. there's a car coming, but i'll make it. okay.. i havne't passed the truck yet and the car is getting closer and closer. oh crap. what do i do? i'm too far ahead to slam on my breaks. i floor it, and i make it! woo! what a stunt.

i'm almost at the i-5 on ramp, suddenly.. my radio goes out. maybe it's the station? i change the station. still out. the station is on, but no noise. then i remembered how the red antenna ball that i put on, ripped off the first day i drove with it on i-5. only it took me about 2 weeks later to realize that it also ripped the actual antenna off. but that was a couple of months ago. maybe it's just a glitch. i turn off the radio, then back on. same thing. i see the station, but no noise. i'll fix that later. suddenly, paranoid thoughts start coming from out of nowhere. what if i didn't put the battery on correctly, and shutting off the radio is it's way of conserving the battery ( i know this only happens on star trek, but again, i was being paranoid).

i get to the stop light right before the i-5 on ramp, and what is behind me? a cop. grrreeeeeeeaaaat. there's nothing like a cop driving behind you to calm your nerves. so i'm on i-5 and i let the cop pass me. what does it say on the back? not highway patrol, but... OAKLAND POLICE. what? way out here? are they lost? so i'm driving, running late, and i just happen to look at the dashboard.. hmm.. is that a very dim red light? or is it just the daylight hitting it, making it appear lit. i can't tell. so i do a test. i turn on the ceiling light..the one that you turn on at night, when you're lost, to look at your map. strange. it's dim as well. i signal left, then right. a very dim green light. what's going on here? okay. so the red light is on. it's a warning light. what is it warning me about.....OOOOH NOOO. upon further inspection... i see it's... it's... the BATTERY LIGHT!. crap. now what do i do? do i pull over? for what? what if i can't start it again. so i keep going. i have to make it to school.

okay, i'm almost there. i'm driving on a freeway where homes are surrounding the area. good. it provides some relief. whoa. did my car just jerk? maybe it's the road. naaah. it's just my imagination. whoa. there it is again. okay. so it's really happening. hmmm..maybe i should signal to the right and stay there, just in case....

what the crap?! my car is violently jerking. crrraaaaap. the engine warning light is on. this is a yellow one. i turn on my hazard lights, but with what little battery power i have left, it's very dim. and it took turns with the dashboard lights. so it's hazard lights, dashboard lights. hazard lights, dashboard lights. i have no choice but to pull over. oh okay good. there's a call box. how do i use these? i've never used these before. well i pick up the reciever, and it automatically dials chp. "9-1-1 emergency what's your... i mean california highway patrol, how may i help you?" "hi, my car died on me, and i'm pretty sure it's the battery" "okay, do you have any AAA insurance or anything?" "no" she tells me about how much it'll cost to tow. "around $50 to $60" "can you send a highway patrol here?" "the chp won't jump start you car." "okay. i guess i have no other choice then." she then proceeds to get my info, like car make, color, name, address, all that. then calls a tow truck for me. "just to verify, the number on the blue sign is 005-182, correct?" "yes" "okay, ronald. we're sending a tow truck over. be sure to stay away from traffic, if you want to sit in your car, wear your seatbelt. the tow truck will be there in 20 to 30 minutes."

i'm sitting in my car (with my seatbelt on), waiting. hmm. what could it be. how will i get home? wow. i'm pretty late for class. i find myself starting to relax more and more, to the point where i'm starting to drift asleep. finally, 20 to 30 minutes later, the tow truck guy comes here. i talk about how i don't really have any money with me... and he's charging $125 per hour. "we can charge another card, but you'll have to get it over the phone." i go back to the call box, and ask the chp dispatcher to call home. my parents aren't home. crap. they went to san francisco today. then i ask her to call my brother. what's his number? 260-8676? "that's a miss rosemary perez." "um.. i think it's 206..." "that's the wrong number too." oh. i have it on my pda. so she calls him and he gives me his credit card info and stuff. and we proceed the towing. we finally end up at my school, and the tow truck driver is doing the paper work. he gets on the walkie-talkie to check for approval of his card........DENIED........ now what. i call him back on the tow truck driver's cell phone. (hey, he said he didn't have one before! that liar) "rex! you were denied...." so he gets his boss's card. hehe. mr. hugh marasa. a MILLIONAIRE at Sands Bros. (brokage firm where they work). i hear over the phone "i'll pay you back tomorrow". so he gets approved, and the guy helps me push my car into a parking spot.

i finally get to class 2 and a half hours late, and they're playing jeopardy in preparation for our "mid term". now, you'd expect me to be pissed off, but no. i'm not. i'm in a good mood, actually. one of my classmates goes "wow...you're in a good mood, given your car died on you..i'd be so pissed off right now." after class i give my brother a call, and he says he can pick me up, but he'll be coming from oakland (bart station). he's so nice. if it weren't for him, i'd probably still be stuck on that freeway. so after all this, it now takes us to the present. right now, i'm in the computer lab at school....with these really really really slow computers (due to the CPU), waiting for my brother. the front doors are locked, and the hallway lights are off. there's a night class but we have to use the side exit. will i make it home? what will i do about my car? i don't know. i guess we'll just have to wait and see. thank you for reading this. i hope you enjoyed it. and don't worry. i'm fine. really =). it was an....interesting.. day. have fun!

my life is boring...

some random thoughts of the day (in chonological order of course)..

we're going to war! i dont know if i support it or not.

wow. it's 11am. it's so early for me

from the time my parents said "get ready now, we're going to san francisco" to actually leaving the house, took about 2 hours...

my headaches are kinda gone..

the battery meter in the van keeps going up and down

low gas... bad, low temp.... good... low oil.. bad... high battery.... bad, slow speed... eh..

it's really cold in san francisco...

tall, grande, and venti all pretty much mean big in different languages..

coffee frappucino is pretty good

there is no food or drinks allowed in burlington coat factory....especially starbucks

oh yeah. the teddy bear was named after teddy roosevelt. alex is a nerd

why the hell am i in the lowell library...

this is fun leading ginger to albertson's w/ her eyes closed... hahaha she just walked into the newspaper box thing..

ginger farts a lot

i picked a damn good day to go to boys volleyball practice

madd eprops goes to randall for today. it takes a lot of guts to do that. he busted out with what a lot of us are thinking... it might not have been the best thing to do, but still... wow. any more mad and he would have turned into a 10 foot green muscular monster, ripping off his shirt...

i want to see hulk the movie

on the commercial it says 2 6-piece nuggets for $2.22 but every mcdonald's i go to never have it...

i was drying my hands with that hand blower (heheh.. hand blower) and it got me thinking...are we still in an energy crisis?

my headache is back...

AND FINALLY....

"you're stealing our money!" hahaha classic........

more random...or how mikey likes to put it.. RONdom stuff. we all know how much you like them...

again... my parents lag.. i get ready at 12. we're supposed to be leaving. what time do we leave? 2. what time do i get to lowell? 4...

"random" checking at the airport means checking all the non-white and non-black folk.

i write on xanga more than i write in my actual journal. what has become of me.

there is either a stop sign or stop light at every corner on ocean avenue...

wow. i left mikey's door wide open, and no one stole anything, or even had the courtesy of closing the door. (again, i'm really sorry mikey..)

i miss cable tv

if there are two belly buttons, one outtie, and you stick that outtie into the innie, is that considered intercourse?

at fresh choice, i was eating a breadstick and one of the ends resembled a thumb.. so i kept it. =)

and now for some quotes that have nothing to do with anything... meaningless... pointless... random..

"time for the no touch drill..... no touch! no touch!"

"animal sex?! animal sex?! animal sex?!!!"

"don't be a ginger"

"she farts like this.... 'pfffffffffffffffffffffffft' "

and finally....

(joke) it's b.b. king's birthday, and to celebrate, his wife gets a tattoo of "b" on each of her butt cheeks. so when b.b. king gets home, his wife shows him, and pulls down her pants. then b.b. king goes "that's very nice dear, but who's bob?"

11:45PM mikey, thomas & thomas just left. okay they left at 10ish. i didn't expect too much to happen. i didn't expect anything to happen. i just planned on staying home all day. this gloomy, rainy day. then mikey called, after rica, and said he was coming here. so i showered and stuff. as soon as they got here we decided on a place to eat. ended up going to applebee's. a lot of food for me. then we just played board games at my house, & watched tv. that was basically it. wow. i've had this (journal) for a year now. i'm about half way. i would be a lot further if i wrote more often. hehe. so what has been happening. well, i've been driving.... a lot. i went shopping, but you remember. spent $40. my dad has to get another operation. the cancer was blocking the tube to the liver. it's what made his eyes & skin turn yellow. it started the first day he went back to work, which sucks. he was so excited about going back to work. i still haven't found a job. i couldn't really turn my apps in, since i've been my parents' chauffeur for a while. alright. i will TRY to write again soon. goodnight. 1:12AM

p.s. i tried to pretend it was april 12, but it's the 18th. sorry. i was cheating. =) 1:12AM

11:33 PM. "i'm sorry, i can't. i have WORK!" tomorrow is my job orientation @ Hollister. i guess persistence is the key. i called again yesterday. Haley said she would love for me to work 9-2 and to come in tomorrow at 9 for the job orientation. i have to bring my passport so don't let me forget. wow. i have a job. thank you jesus. oh, i think thursday (two nights ago), anna told me to wake her up at 1:30 so she can study. so 1:30 comes and i call, but she doesn't study. we end up talking on the phone til about 4. although i liked talking to her, i felt bad cause i was taking up her study time. she STOOD in the hallway the whole time, well almost the whole time. she went to the lounge for a while. last tuesday i went back to berkeley to visit charisse. it was fun seeing her again. catching up on stuff. i didn't know she broke up w/ hansen. well, i was w/ her from 2-6, getting "boba", doing the cha-cha in her room, stuff like that. then she went to her banquet and i met up w/ anna. we played basketball with matt, franklin, and a few other people...(stuff i chose not to post goes here)...anna told me how dennis, matt ji, merrit, and matt jeung were planning a road trip to l.a. to visit people. i've always wanted to go on a road trip w/ friends. but my parents won't let me go. i just know it. plus i wasn't invited so that's okay...(more stuff i chose not to post goes here) ...but i might just do the whole ROTC thing so i'll be @ berkeley at least once a week. oh well. i guess i have nothing to worry about since nothing's gonna happen. alright. i have to wake up early tomorrow. you know. for my job orientation.
DON'T FORGET PASSPORT 11:58 PM