The pure heat from the tongue sliding down his spine, burning a trail a south was more than he could take and he tried again. "Jeff, come on I really fucking need you."

Jeff stopped long enough to answer him. "Patience my dear."

Dale managed to turn under him. "No baby." His hands pulled Jeff’s face to his. "I really." He spoke in between the kisses he dropped to his cheeks. "Want." His forehead. "To." His hands roamed over Jeff’s back pulling him even closer. "Fuck you." He pressed Jeff back down on to the bed and quickly covered his body with his own. Jeff let Dale slide down his body briefly before quickly turning them both over. "Jeff no." Dale sighed as Jeff buried his face between Dale’s legs. "What are you doing?"

Jeff’s tongue slid down Dale’s length. "You have to ask?" He grinned.

"Why do you keep doing this?"

"Doing what? Why do I want to fuck you? Dale come on…" Jeff raised an eyebrow.

"No." Dale was getting agitated. "Why do you have to always be the one in control? Why can’t I…"

"Dale come on, not now."

"Then when?" Dale sat up causing Jeff to kneel back on the end of the bed. "We’ve been doing this for a while now and you never let me play." Dale said teasingly, trying a different tactic.

"Dale you know how I like it."

Dale sat back realizing this wasn’t going to be an easy sell. "Jeff I want to be with you completely, in everyway."

Jeff sighed and crawled towards him. "Come on, we can talk about this later. I really want you right now."

"Fine." Dale said laying back on the bed aggravated.

"What are you doing?"

"Fuck me, that’s all you want anyway." Dale said laying motionless on his back staring at the ceiling. "Go ahead."

"Damn it Dale." He pushed off the bed and stood taking a deep breath. "Dale, don’t do this, you know how I want it to be."

"Why?"

"What does it matter? That’s how I want it to be."

"So it’s your way or no way?" Dale jumped off the bed grabbing his clothes.

Jeff grabbed his arm. "That’s not what I meant and you know it."

Dale yanked his arm away from him and pulled his jeans up over his hips. "Apparently, I don’t."

With that Dale was down the hall and out the door. Jeff grabbed a shoe off the floor and hurled it down the hallway. "Fuck," he yelled. Grabbing his jeans he pulled them on ready to go after Dale when his mind started wandering back to when he first lost trust in those people around him especially those he cared about. "Stupid bitch is still ruining my life." He collapsed on the bed staring at the ceiling.

It was all coming back to him.

In the beginning he had loved her, trusted her, gave her everything he could but it had only taken a few years for him to realize the marriage had been a huge mistake. She didn’t care about him, never did. She did, however, love the checks that started rolling in and made it very clear that he had better keep them coming. It quickly turned into a very lonely marriage for Jeff, he put his trust in the wrong person and it haunted him still to this day. He smiled thinking of the one thing that changed it all, the one thing that made it all bearable and gave him a reason to fight.

Jimmie.

Jimmie was the first man Jeff had ever found himself attracted to and the feelings scared him but the life he lead for the cameras with his wife made him miserable and Jimmie made all that seem so far away. He never planned on acting on his feelings and he didn’t, until Jimmie shocked him by acting on his own. It was all new to both of them and as awkward as their first night was it filled a void that had been buried deep in Jeff’s soul for a long time.

Unfortunately, Jimmie was too late and the damage had already been done. Jeff was eager to regain control of his life and he wasn’t about to lose it all a second time. As he and Jimmie got closer and Brooke started asking a lot of question about his whereabouts, Jeff realized what he needed to do.

He sat alone one evening and made a phone call.

"Tell me no and I won’t go any further with it. This is huge. We will both be drug through the mud and you will become the bad guy no doubt. I understand if you don’t want to be a part of it."

"Jeff, you know me, nothing I can’t handle. Of course I’ll do it. Anyway, if it gets the psycho out of your life," She laughed. "It’s worth it all."

"I really appreciate it but if you have any doubt."

"Jeff, we’ve known each other for years. I’m not worried about it, do it. I am curious though?"

"What?"

"Well, setting up a fake affair instead of telling your wife whatever it is you‘re trying to hide, risking everything…just who the hell you trying to protect?"

"I…uh…well…"

"It’s ok Jeffie, she must be pretty damn special."

Jeff sighed. "Yeah, yeah they are."

Two days later a photo of Jeff and a Playboy Playmate started circulating throughout the media. Jimmie stared up at Jeff dejected as the photo came across some entertainment show they were watching in bed, Jeff pulled him closer. "Don’t worry, it isn’t real. Well it is but it was a sponsor meeting not a date."

"What? Jeff they are making you out to be some womanizing Playboy. You have to clear this up."

"Jimmie calm down, everything’s fine. I’m the one who released the photo and the story."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"Brooke was starting to realize something was up, I couldn’t let her find out you were really the playmate." He grinned. "It would have ruined your career just as it was starting. Jimmie you are going to be one of the best, I won’t let you lose that."

Jimmie looked at the tv screen then back at Jeff confused. "Jeff this will ruin you."

Jeff smiled at the concern that covered Jimmies face. "JJ, This is the only thing that won’t ruin me. So everyone will think I’m a cheating bastard for a while. It will pass and I can protect you this way."

Jimmie was overwhelmed by the feelings he suddenly felt. He leaned up bringing his lips down on Jeff’s.

The divorce was ugly, Brooke fed off the fact that once Jeff lost control of anything he let it avalanche into all areas of his life. He wanted to give up so many times but Jimmie wouldn’t let him, he gave him the strength to keep fighting. Only that strength turned into anger inside Jeff, anger over all the wasted years they had been married, anger at how she drug his friends through hell during the divorce, it continued to build until he started looking for an outlet, someplace he could vent, something that wouldn’t get to the media, something that would just take it and be quiet about it. The last thing he needed was the world to know how crazy Brooke made him. That outlet became Jimmie, it was wrong, he became a little more rough, a little more aggressive each time. He knew he had to stop but it became too easy, Jimmie never complained, never tried to stop him, let him have his way and go.

It was Jeff’s weakness and fear of losing control that brought the worst out in him. The need for control had taken over not only his relationships but his business, his racing, sex, he wasn’t happy if he wasn’t the one calling all the shots. Looking at it now, he saw the same patterns forming with Dale that he let rule his relationship with Jimmie, the anger was gone but he still had the need to control everything. It was as if he was watching himself push Dale away just as he had Jimmie. Of course he hadn’t wanted to lose him but he didn’t give Jimmie much choice, he had to have been silently miserable. Not too long after the divorce was final Jimmie started pulling away, slowly at first but it didn’t take long for Jeff to see what the problem was, he had pushed him right into her arms.

Chandra.

He saw it in his eyes every time she came around and by the time their engagement was announced it was as if Jeff and Jimmie as a couple never even existed. Jeff was done. Between Jimmie and Brooke he couldn’t take anything else. The need for control took over completely and he knew he couldn’t have it all, no one would put up with what Jimmie tolerated, so he had to be alone to keep control and that was exactly how it would be. Sure plenty of women came and went, many of whom he didn’t even remember their names. It was how things needed to be, little did he know his life was about to change.

Again.

Jeff stood in the garage area alone staring at the car.

"You ok?"

He turned to see Junior leaning against the door frame, fire suit at his waist. "Yeah, this hunk of metal sucks." He said turning back to the car.

"Where’s everyone else?" Dale eyed the garage making sure they were really alone.

"Hauler trying to figure something out for tomorrow."

"So you ok?"

"Yeah, I said the car…

"I’m not talking about the car. I’m talking about you."

"Why wouldn’t I be?" Jeff asked not looking at Dale.

Dale stepped closer. "It can’t be easy…" he paused stopping just a step away, close enough that Jeff could feel the heat from his body. "Jimmie announcing the engagement and all."

Jeff inhaled sharply. "Why would that be a problem for me?"

Dale cocked his head to the side. "Jeff." When Jeff turned he didn’t see the smirk he expected, instead he saw concern and worry in his eyes. "You don’t have to lie around me, you don’t have to hide, you can be yourself. I know about you two."

"There is nothing to know. I better go." Jeff started for the door.

"Jeff." Dale grabbed his arm gently but firmly. "You don’t have to run. It’s ok, I’m not going to say anything."

Jeff couldn’t believe what he was hearing, this couldn’t be happening. How could Dale know? Jimmie wouldn’t have said anything. No this wasn’t going to happen. He pulled away from him. "I don’t know what you are talking about. Jimmie and I are just friends."

Jeff stood his ground as Dale stepped closer, his musty scent filling Jeff’s nostrils. "Right, friends." Dale stopped close enough that Jeff had to lean back to look him in the face. Was that lust in Juniors eyes? "Well, Jeff, I want to be your friend too." He let his warm breath glide over Jeff’s neck as his fingers gently teased the hair on Jeff’s arms; then as quickly as he appeared he was gone.

How in the hell did Dale find out? Was he serious? Did he really want to…? "Oh God." Jeff leaned against the car unable to support his own weight. "What the fuck?"

It was a couple weeks later when Jeff found the courage to confront Dale. He tentatively knocked on the door to Dale’s coach after qualifying. "Come in." Jeff swallowed and pushed the door open not seeing Dale right away.

"D..Dale?" Jeff stuttered as he stepped into the coach.

Dale’s head popped out of the kitchen hearing Jeff’s voice. He couldn’t help but smile. "Hey man, come on in." He returned a few seconds later two beers and a bowl of chips and salsa in hand. Setting the bowl on the table he nodded to the still open door. "You can come all the way in."

"Oh sorry." Jeff shut the door but didn’t move too far from it noticing the beers and chips. "Maybe I should go, you are obviously expecting someone."

He turned back towards the door and Dale moved quickly behind him. "I was." He held the beer over Jeff’s shoulder . "What took you so long?"

Jeff stared at the beer before turning. "What?"

Dale put the beer in Jeff’s hand and turned sitting on the couch. "I didn’t think it would take you two weeks to get here."

Jeff’s hands trembled as he opened the beer suddenly wanting to devour it. "I…I"

"Jeff sit." Dale said as he watched the struggle going on between Jeff’s body and mind.

Jeff finally decided on the chair facing the couch and Dale. "I wasn’t sure you were serious." Jeff replied trying to calm his nerves. "I guess I thought it was a joke."

"No you didn’t." Jeff looked at him eyes wide. "Well you didn’t. I’m guessing you weren’t sure you could move on from Jimmie so quickly. You still aren’t?" Jeff was silent. "Am I wrong?"

"No." He whispered.

"Jeff, I’m not like everyone else, you can talk to me."

"I’m starting to realize that." He paused growing more comfortable. "How did you know?"

Dale shrugged. "Had a feeling. Saw the looks between you two, the disappointment in your eyes when she started hanging around." Dale saw the question cross his face. "Don’t worry, no one else knows, well there is one person but trust me he’s not talking."

He? "Who?"

Dale thought twice about telling him but knew he had to be honest with Jeff if he was going to convince him they could be good together. "Tony."

"Smoke? You’re kidding, so you two are…"

"Were." Dale interrupted. "We were. It’s hard in this world to make it work, as you know." Jeff just nodded. "Jimmie was your first." It was more of a statement than a question.

Jeff’s eyes shot to the floor. "Yeah."

Dale set his beer down and dropped to his knees in front of the couch and crawled towards Jeff. He slid his hands up Jeff’s thighs, massaging the muscles as he went higher. Afraid he’d spill the beer Jeff sat it to the side as Dales hands continued their journey up under his polo, his touch burning into Jeff’s flesh. "We don’t have to." Jeff squirmed in his seat as Dale’s mouth dropped to the tightness that quickly grew in his jeans. "But I really want to feel you inside of me."

Jeff’s eyes matched the passion and lust that was reflected in Dales, he felt his throat tightening. No one had ever spoken to him that way, the erotic tone, the want and need of those words drove him wild. Sensing his discomfort and desire Dale’s fingers made quick work of the button and zipper but he stopped sitting back on his heels. "Open your eyes Jeff, look at me when you answer me."

Jeff dug his fingers into the arms of the chair and about choked on his dry mouth. "God yes Dale."

Jeff came forward towards Dale but was stopped as Dale’s hands hungrily found what they were seeking, letting Jeff spring to life outside the confinement of his jeans. "You’re sure?"

Jeff nodded and Dale didn’t wait to hear an answer before his face was buried between Jeff’s legs.

In five months that was the most control Dale had had and Jeff was beginning to see how he used Dale just as he had used Jimmie. He continuously used one person to get over the last. And it was all because of her. She had so much more control than anyone even knew about and he swore to never let it happen again. But he was seeing now how protecting himself was only hurting him more. He pushed them all away and he knew what he had to do to fix it. He jumped up, grabbed a shirt and headed out the door and a few coaches over.

The door swung open just as he started to knock. "Jeff?"

"Now a bad time?"

"No, I was just heading back to your coach." Dale stepped aside to let him in. "Come in. I think we need…"

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry about earlier, I’m sorry about treating you horribly and I can’t apologize enough to you or Jimmie. I didn’t treat him right, I hurt him and I don’t want my problems to come between us too."

Dale looked at him. "Problems? Jeff slow down. What are you talking about? Didn’t treat him right? Treated me horribly, Jeff what’s going on?"

"God I treated him like I’ve treated you, actually worse, so much worse, but I’ve been horrible to you. I was never fair to either of you, never let either of you completely in." Jeff was speaking faster than Dale could comprehend what he was saying.

Dale interrupted him grabbing him by the shoulders. "Jeff you haven‘t been horrible, yeah you can be a bit controlling from time to time, and yes you are very controlling in bed." Dale grinned. "But that…" Dale noticed Jeff look away. "Jeff? Are you saying you never let him…?

"No."

"You guys were together for what…?"

"3 years, no I wouldn’t let him just like I won’t let you. God Dale it goes so far beyond that, I was so angry towards the end of the marriage and…"

"He was the one you took it out on?" Dale finished starting to see how tortured Jeff had been all these years.

"Yeah." Jeff said obviously ashamed.

"Jeff it isn’t your fault, it was a bad situation."

"If not mine, whose? I should have controlled myself more. You‘re right I am controlling, I have to be in charge of everything, why couldn‘t I control my own emotions or my actions?"

Dale stepped closer to him. "I didn’t mean it like it was a bad thing." Dale gently took Jeff’s hand in his leaving them hanging at their side. "You’ve never let a man make love to you." Dale stated plainly, still surprised that he had never let Jimmie touch him that way.

"No."

"What are you scared of?"

"Giving in. " Dale was confused again. "Brooke had so much control in our relationship. We went where she wanted, did what she wanted, when she wanted. I wore what she wanted me to wear, hell, we had sex when and how she wanted to, of course that was once in the last year and a half of our marriage. It made me miserable, I don’t ever want to feel that way again and I swore I wouldn’t."

Dale smiled he was starting to understand where Jeff was coming from. "Jeffie, I don’t want to control you. I know how it feels to have everyone but you running your life. God, that’s the last way I want you to feel around me. " He dropped Jeff’s hand and ran his fingers up his arm. "I want to be with you because I care about you, because it thrills me to feel your skin against mine." He let his lips brush Jeff’s neck and pulled him even closer into his chest. He whispered into his ear. "I know how it feels to have you inside me, I want to know how it feels to have you surround me, completely."

Jeff was lost in his touch, his words. He leaned into him and captured his lips with his own and after several breathless moments Dale led him to the bedroom peeling clothing off as they went. They fell onto the bed in a naked heap. "We don’t have to." Dale whispered.

"I want to."

"Not if you aren’t comfortable with it."

"How could I not be comfortable with you?" Jeff smiled and turned crawling to the head of the bed but burying his face in the pillow before starting to push himself back up on all fours.

Dale noticed his legs shaking and quickly turned him over onto his back. "It doesn’t have to be that way." He leaned down kissing him deeply as he spread the lube over both of them. "Bend your knees." Jeff did as he was told and soon felt Dale’s fingers pressing into him. "Relax." Jeff tried but his eyes closed as he felt Dale remove his fingers and start pressing himself into him. Slowly at first gradually increasing the pressure and speed. "You ok?"

"Uh huh." Jeff moaned as the pain started to turn to pleasure.

"Jeff look at me, you sure? I can stop."

Jeff opened his eyes. "No, I mean yes I’m ok, don’t stop."

Dale smiled then leaned down slipping his tongue between Jeff’s lips as he pressed farther into him.

Dale was even more turned on as they started moving together and he watched as Jeff stroked himself matching Dale’s thrusts. "And you thought you’d lose control."

Smiling at Dale’s joke Jeff replied seriously. "Thank you Dale."

Jeff exploded onto his own hand and gasped as Dale sucked his fingers into his mouth and licked Jeff’s release off them. Dale suddenly collapsed onto Jeff’s chest and felt Jeff’s fingers gently rubbing his lower back.

Several silent minutes went by, neither man knowing what to say. Dale finally rolled over pulling Jeff with him and into his arms.

"I’m sorry Dale." Jeff whispered finally breaking the silence.

"Jeff, stop, there isn’t any need."

"But…"

"No, Jeff you have to stop worrying about this." He pulled Jeff up to look in his eye. "She’s not here, she’s not in control anymore. You are, even after tonight you are still the one in control of your life." He kissed him softly. "ok?" Dale worried when Jeff just nodded into his chest. "Jeff?"

"Yeah?"

Dale sighed. "Have you thought about talking to Jimmie about this?" Jeff was silent. "I know you don’t want to but I think it will help. I‘m sure he forgives you but I know you need to hear it from him."

"I don’t know."

"Look Jeff, whatever you decide you know I’ll be here for you. Just remember, I will never try to control you all I want if for you to feel like you can forget everything outside that door when you are with me."

Jeff smiled and leaned up kissing Dale fully before covering his body and moving over it masterfully like only Jeff could. Jeff looked at Dale as he laughed. "What?"

"I guess old habits are hard to break." Review Me

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