He had been searching for a sign, something to tell him all was ok. Dale sat silent and still in his car for a few moments, still not grasping the events of not only today but of the past few weeks. He was amazed at the utter calmness he felt, he wasn’t sure where it was coming from, sheer exhaustion maybe. He knew the media would start now with the questions about his dad. Honestly he didn’t want to deal with it but he was curious. Not over what they wanted to know but what would his dad think? Not about today but about him.

Would he understand, could he? He couldn’t believe how close to losing it all they had come and he wasn’t so sure he still wouldn’t. Today was a good day but it didn’t diminish the bad feeling he had about the upcoming season. Everything was different now, nothing would ever be the same again, he knew that. Too many people knew. "Daddy, what do I do?" Dale asked into the air.

"Junebug?" He looked around the car afraid he was now hearing things. "Junebug, you gonna join us, this party is all for you?"

Remembering where he was he took a deep breath, wiped the tears from his eyes, adjusted his hat and hopped out of the car to the cheers of those not only in victory lane and in the speedway itself but the thousands of people who sat at home cheering just as loud. The thousands of people who had waited 3 long years for the validation, 3 long years for celebration, 3 long years for an Earnhardt to once again take control of the Daytona 500, to show this track who the real boss was.

He had done that today, switched the power back to the good guys, he only hoped this one win could help take away all the hurt and pain of those 3 very long years. Could put his life back on track of where he wanted it to be, needed it to be.

But mostly, he hoped it was the sign he was looking for.

He made the rounds of family, friends, and media for over 3 hours before finally being able to retreat to his own coach for some peace and quiet. He knew it would be the only time he would have for himself for awhile. He turned down several invites to celebratory parties promising each and everyone that there would be a major blowout back in Mooresville within the month.

His stomach rumbled but he was settled in on his couch too tired to even think about moving or dinner. His mind was wandering, wondering where he was, was he all right? He didn’t come to Victory Lane, that alone worried him, but after seeing the car or what was left of it, he was scared. They assured him he was ok, but if so, where was he? He would have been there, wouldn’t have left him, not today, not this win. He wouldn’t have gone back to him, would he? He was reaching for his cell phone when there was a knock on the door. He looked towards it hoping, praying. "Yeah?"

"Hungry?" Came the eager chipper voice. "Got your favorite."

Dale smiled as he eyed the brown paper bag that smelled of his favorite foods but that wasn’t what he was smiling at. Relief flooded his thoughts as he met the stare from those blue eyes he loved so much. He stood and tried to speak but his emotions got the better of him and his throat tightened.

"Hey, what’s this all about?" Michael asked setting the bag down and pulling Dale into his arms. Dale’s arms wrapped around his waist as Michael tightened his grip on him. Dale just shook his head and buried his face in Michael’s chest as his emotions won over. Michael felt the tears soaking his shirt and quickly realized what was going on. "I’m ok. I know I missed Victory Lane but I thought it might be too emotional for me to be there and with the media I just thought…well, I went and got dinner instead. I knew you would be too tired to do anything but to stay in and rest up for tomorrow."

Dale had forgotten all about the race tomorrow. He had been so worried, excited, tired, and hyped all at once that he forgot he had to run the Busch race tomorrow. Dale finally pulled away just enough to gaze into Michael’s eyes. "It’s ok, I just was so damn worried about you. Your car" He choked out. "It was totaled, Tony couldn’t tell me if you were ok, it just took so long to get you out."

He squeezed Dale closer into his chest. "What you think having to cut me out of a car is going to slow me down? Hell, it only flipped 5 times." He laughed trying to lighten the mood but quickly realized that his humor was lost on Dale. "I’m a little sore but I’m ok Dale." He brought Dale’s hand to his cheek and ran it down his jaw to his mouth relishing the feel of Dale’s skin on his own. He kissed his fingers as they began trailing over Michael’s lips on their own. "See, it’s me, just fine."

Dale felt the soft fullness of Michael’s lips with his fingers and smiled up weakly at him. He took one final look trying to reassure his brain that Michael was ok, before turning to grab some plates; but before he could get too far away Michael pulled him back to him and caught him in a kiss that left Dale feeling weak in the knees. "Congratulations kid, you did real good today."

Dale smiled up at him trying to catch his breath. "Thanks."

Half way through dinner Dale flipped from Speed Channel to some movie channel as Michael raised an eyebrow. "I’m going to have to deal with all this tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, I don’t want to listen to anymore about ‘how do I feel about this win?’ and ‘what would daddy have said?’ tonight. How exactly do they think I feel or how he would have reacted?"

Michael knew the pressure had to have gotten to him, since his daddy had died it seemed it had been all about this one win. How long would it take? Would it take all those losses before he got the big one? Would he break the bad luck that had been this race for the Earnhardt name? No matter what Dale did it was still about his daddy and the Daytona 500. Michael didn’t say anything, what could he say, they finished their meal in silence and Michael stood pulling the plate from Dale’s hands. "Stay. I’ll clean up."

Dale was too tired to argue, he let Michael get the kitchen back in order while he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the couch. A few minutes later he felt his arm being lifted and opened his eyes to see Michael taking his hand in his. "Come on." He let him pull him off the couch and squeezed his hand as he trailed behind down the hall to the bedroom.

Michael pulled his shirt over his head, kicked off his shoes and socks before crawling to the top of the bed sitting against the headboard. He smiled and watched Dale as he did the same, only he positioned himself between Michaels legs laying on his own stomach resting his head on Michael’s thigh.

Michael grabbed the remote to the stereo off the nightstand and hit the power button keeping the volume low then turned his attention to Dale’s shoulders. "Why don’t you scoot over here?" He patted the bed next to him. "Let me work that stress out."

Dale shook his head and hugged Michael’s leg tighter to his chest as if scared to let go. Michael stared down at Dale wondering what was really going through his head but knew better than to push, Dale would talk when Dale was ready. His hands gently found the back of Dale’s neck and he was surprised at just how tight the muscles were. He worked over his neck down his shoulders to his sides. He felt Dale start to relax and lessen his grip on his leg as Michael’s hands moved masterfully up and down the tired sore muscles of his back.

Michael listened to the song coming through the speakers as Dale’s body became heavier.

Maybe it was just the pressure and stress of the past two weeks and the push of the media. Speedweeks could be grueling especially for Dale. On any given day he could pay the media to get off his back just so he could get some peace of mind. Michael sometimes found himself wishing he could trade places with him, although he knew he would hate it just as much as Dale did. He just wished he sometimes wasn’t so damn invisible to the fans and the media.

Michael was at least allowed some privacy to have a life of his own, allowed to have goals and dreams, secrets, Dale wasn’t. The media needed, had to know every little thing as it happened. Dale was use to the media though, they had been around him all his life, there had to be something more he was hiding.

Michael smiled as he heard a soft snore coming from Dale. He stared down at the young man laying in his lap, sleeping soundly for the first time in weeks, a man that fit so perfectly against his body. "So much for celebrating."

Their relationship. Michael reflected over the past few years and couldn’t believe how they had gotten to where they were today. They had spent their first night together at this very track in this very coach trying to figure out how to deal with their grief and to move on with their lives. They had know each other for years but that was the day that Michael really saw him for the first time. Now here they were three years later, in a relationship, in love.

Michael was still amazed that the media hadn’t caught on to their relationship, especially now, so many people knew. He took a deep breath thinking of the huge mistake they had started to make just a few days earlier. He wondered if that was still part of Dale’s problems. The short but eventful evening with Steve shook him up pretty bad. Was he still scared that Michael would find someone else, would leave him. Maybe Dale didn’t realize that wouldn’t happen.

Michael thought back to that evening. He had to admit, Steve made him feel amazing but it wasn’t the same as it was with Dale. He could have stayed with Steve but without Dale to share the experience with it would have just been cheap. It would have been the same if he had been with another woman while with Buffy, she could have made him feel good but his love would have been with his wife, just like it was now with Dale.

"Buffy." He looked to the ceiling as if searching for her. "God I miss you. I wish I could have made things right before you left us." Dale shifted his sound asleep body, forcing Michael’s attention back down to earth. Maybe he was scared now about them, it should have been easier now that people knew. Maybe he was just worried about the wrong people finding out. Everything had been a whirlwind since Teresa and the others found out, now the drivers knew, well he assumed Steve had told the ones that were a part of his world.

Suddenly he realized how Dale felt. Everything swirled around in Michael’s head all at once and he thought of how difficult is was to keep their non conventional relationship thriving while trying to keep it hidden. Dale had the legacy of his father and the media breathing down his throat at the same time.

Michael didn’t care about what everyone thought, although, he would like for someone to tell him that what they were doing was ok, to not have their loved ones look at them twice before just walking away. He had yet to tell his own brother or mother while Dale had been so brave confronting his family. Something in his heart told him Buffy was fine. That she was ok wherever she was but more importantly she was ok with him and Dale. He was however not so sure about Junior. He knew Dale didn’t realize the consequences of their relationship, sure he said he did but Dale had a tenancy to overlook the difficult and see only what he wanted to see. Michael’s worried that Dale could easily find someone else to love him, someone to love. Male or female Dale wouldn’t be alone for long. Michael on the other hand wasn’t so sure, he never thought he’d feel the kind of love he had, has for Buffy again; then he and Dale found each other. He was pretty sure that kind of love wouldn’t, couldn’t happen a third time.

Michael shifted in the bed sliding down on his back and pulling Dale farther up his body. Dale’s head now rested on Michael’s chest and Michael pulled the blanket up over them both. He heard a moan come from Dale but his eyes never opened. "Mikey?"

Michael kissed Dale’s forehead and smoothed his hair back. "Shh. It’s ok." He studied Dale’s face realizing he couldn’t lose him, he would do what he had to do to not only keep him in his life but to help him fight his demons. Somehow lessen the pressure and to make his life his own before it destroyed him.

"Go back to sleep." Michael ran his hand soothingly up and down Dale’s back lulling him back to his dreams and hopefully not into his nightmares. "We’re going to be ok baby." Michael whispered turning the stereo off and settling in closing his own eyes. "It’s all going to be ok."

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