Buffy, Michael, Zoe, and Dale sat around the racecar bed watching Macy and Conner sleep, all curled up together peaceful like the world wasn’t coming to an end. None of them had spoke a word in over an hour, they just listened to the sound of their breathing.
Beep…beep…beep…beep.
“I got it.” Dale said as he stood and placed a hand on Zoe’s shoulder. He walked to the monitor, turned off the alarm, and hooked up another IV bag. He looked down at the pale thin body that lay there. He could actually see the life being sucked out of his son and he was helpless to stop it.
Zoe looked to her husband but only saw the tired beaten shell of the man who use to be in there. She then glanced to her best friends in the world before looking back to the two kids in that bed. Two kids who were wise beyond their years, forced to grow up and learn a hard lesson most people never learn. Macy and Conner shared a special bond that had started 8 years earlier. They were soul mates, everyone of them knew it. Michael and Dale had joked about how they were just going to marry them off and save everyone a lot of hassle. They would be together forever, no one knew how short forever would be.
~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~
“I can’t believe we got pregnant at the same time.” Buffy laughed.
“I know this is going to be so much fun.” Zoe said.
Dale and Michael looked at each other “We are so screwed. I thought your house would be the safe place.” Michael said.
“Tell me about it. Park is single, maybe we can move in there for the next 7 months.” Dale laughed. “Ow.” Dale said as Zoe popped him on the back of the head.
Michael snickered but shut up quickly as he saw the glare from his wife.
Over the next several months the foursome were inseparable. They shopped together, did each other’s nurseries, even shared a baby shower. This was each couples first baby and they were all so excited.
Buffy and Zoe became the best of friends during those nine months and everyone was humored when they went into labor on the same day. Having the name of Earnhardt and Waltrip could come in handy from time to time because the women were dead set on sharing a delivery room for the births so that each couple could be there for the other. It took a lot of convincing but finally the hospital gave in.
Macy was born two hours before Conner and even though there was no blood relations she took on the role of big sister and protector from the get go. Michael would always tell her to stop pushing Conner around and Dale would come to her rescue saying Conner let her and liked it.
The kids grew up together, went to the same school, were into the same things but it seemed to go deeper. When Macy fell and broke her arm at the age of 4, Conner some 20 miles away knew she was hurt. They seemed to know what the other was thinking and feeling without saying a word. And all these years later, Zoe still beat herself up for not taking Macy seriously that day.
~~~~~end flashback~~~~~
Conner and Macy woke up and Conner was having trouble speaking due to the dehydration. “Can we have Popsicles?” Macy asked.
“Sure, rootbeer?” Conner nodded yes. “Cherry, Macy?” Dale asked.
“Yes please.”
Dale brought the pops back to the kids and then joined the others in the den next to Conner’s room.
“How is Macy doing, really?”
“She’s stronger than all of us. It’s like she understands on a whole other level why this is happening. I am afraid it will hit her after he…” Buffy broke off. “I am sorry.”
“Don’t be, it’s ok. Thank you for letting her spend so much time with us, with Conner, it has meant the world to him.”
“There is no where else she should be, where any of us should be.” Michael said laying a hand over Zoe’s.
“Uncle Dale?” Macy said coming into the room.
“Yes sweetpea.”
“Can you help us with the Playstation? I can’t reach it.”
“Sure.” Dale and Michael joined the kids at a few games of Nascar Thunder. Dale watched as Conner won game after game. He knew he had that vision his father had and he knew he could have been the best Earnhardt on the track if given the chance.
Back in the den Zoe and Buffy sat thinking about the day that would change their lives forever.
~~~~~flashback~~~~~~
One day Macy joined her mother and Zoe at the picnic table while the boys fished in the small pond on Teresa’s ranch. “Conner’s sick.”
Zoe and Buffy both spun to see Conner fine. “No he isn’t sweetie, see he’s ok.” Buffy pointed to him.
“No, you can’t see it, he’s sick inside.” she wandered back to the pond and Buffy and Zoe pushed her comments to the side and wrote them off to the active imagination of a 5 year old.
A year later, those same comments long forgotten, Zoe and Conner sat in the doctors office as the nurse drew a sample of Conner’s blood. “We should know something in a few days.”
Zoe and Dale found themselves facing every parents worst nightmare come to life. Conner had been diagnosed with a rare form of childhood cancer. So rare that treatments were few and far between. The next two years Zoe and Conner found themselves visiting doctors in England, Paris, and every cancer clinic in the US, while Dale pushed himself away from the whole situation, he threw himself into his racing, hoping that if he ignored it, it would go away.
~~~~~end flashback~~~~~~
Dale and Michael joined the ladies back in the den. “Macy and Conner wanted to be alone for a while.” Dale said as he sat on the couch wrapping his arms around his wife. He remembered back to the day that he finally admitted he was losing his son.
~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~
“Dale you have to stop this, you are losing what time you have left.” Zoe yelled at her husband.
“NO! There has to be something else we can do. Another doctor, a new medicine.”
“We have tried to many already. He has fought for 2 years, gone through so much pain. We are losing him, you know it as well as I do.”
“I am not ready to let him go. He’s only 8, I have so much to teach him. Do you know what he could have done on the track? We are suppose to watch him get married, have lots of grandbabies running through the house. It’s too soon.” Dale dropped to his knees as the tears finally fell.
“I am not ready to say goodbye either, but Dale we have 3 months left with our son. He needs you, you can still teach him so much in these next couple of months. Don’t lose today because tomorrow doesn’t exist.”
“How am I suppose to cram forever into the next 3 months?” he cried as she dropped to her knees and held him.
For the next 2 and a half months the three of them along with Macy, traveled everywhere and anywhere Connor wanted to go. Disney World, concerts, the beach, the mountains, the dessert. With some help from the Victory Junction Gang and a special car, Conner was able to drive a lap around Talladega with his daddy by his side.
They were headed home one day when a song came on the radio. “This is a cool song. Can we get this CD?”
Dale listened to the words and took a deep breath. “Sure, we can stop at the store tonight and grab it.”
“Cool.” They rode in silence a little longer listening to the end of the song. “Am I going to live with grandpa now?”
Zoe was thankful Dale wasn’t driving when she saw the look on his face. Conner and Macy were only 2 when Dale had died. They knew the stories, seen the pictures, but had no memories of their own of him. Dale finally turned in his seat. “Yes, you are and his dad, my grandpa.”
“I can’t wait to meet him.” Dale turned quickly so Conner wouldn’t see the tears that were threatening to fall. Zoe took Dale’s hand when they heard him again.
“Maybe the three of us can convince God to not let it rain on Sunday’s anymore. Then you won’t have rain delays at the races.”
Zoe wiped at her own tears now and Dale struggled to find his voice. “Well, every Sunday it doesn’t rain, I will know that the three of you won.”
Conner nodded. “Then you can win daddy.”
~~~~~end flashback~~~~~
Conner took a turn for the worse towards the end of the 3 months. He became very dehydrated and started losing weight. That’s how they found themselves at this point. Everyone knew today was the day, it was in the air.
“Am I a bad person?” Buffy asked as everyone looked at her.
“What? Why on earth would you ask that?”
Buffy broke down as Michael held her.
“Buffy, what is it?” Zoe asked.
“I am so sorry.” she cried hysterically. “I feel so guilty.”
“What on earth for?” Dale asked.
“For being thankful that Macy is healthy.”
“Elizabeth, stop right there. I thank God everyday that Macy is happy and healthy. She is an amazing girl and I can’t wait to see who she grows up to be.” Zoe said taking Buffy’s hands in hers.
“Buffy, we can never begin to thank the three of you for what you all have done for us and Conner. And I know in my heart that because of Macy, part of Conner will live forever.”
Buffy cried into Michaels chest as Zoe tried to fight her own tears. It amazed her she even had any left.
“What are you planning on doing?” Conner asked.
“When?”
“When you grow up? Still going to be a fireman?” he saw the glare. “Sorry, firewoman.” he corrected sarcastically.
“Nope. Changed my mind.” Macy said as she wrote on the paper he gave her.
“Then what?”
“Gonna be a doctor.” She said suddenly older than her years.
“Why?”
“So, I can stop this stupid disease and no more kids have to die. It’s not fair.”
“You have time to do this?” he handed her a folder.
“I will do both, I promise.”
Macy stuck the folder in her bag as everyone walked back into the room. Buffy and Michael sat in the chairs at the end of the bed and Macy crawled into her daddy’s lap. Zoe sat at the head of the bed and pulled Conner into her arms. Dale walked over and turned the CD on before joining them on the bed.
The moment was custom-made to order:
I was ridin' with my daughter on our way back from Monroe.
An' like children do, she started playin' twenty questions,
But I never could've guessed one would touch me to my soul.
She said: "Daddy, when we get to Heaven, can I taste the Milky Way?
"Are we goin' there to visit, or are we goin' there to stay?
"Am I gonna see my Grandpa? Can I have a pair of wings?
"An' do you think that God could use another Angel,
"To help pour out the rain?"
Well, I won't lie: I pulled that car right over,
An' I sat there on the shoulder tryin' to dry my misty eyes.
An' I whispered: "Lord, I wanna thank you for my children.
"'Cause your innocence that fills them often takes me by surprise."
Like: "Daddy, when we get to Heaven, can I taste the Milky Way?
"Are we goin' there to visit, or are we goin' there to stay?
"Am I gonna see my Grandpa? Can I have a pair of wings?
"An' do you think that God could use another Angel,
"To help pour out the rain?"
Well, I thought about it later on,
An' a smile came to my face.
An' when I tucked her in to bed,
I got down on my knees an' prayed.
Lord, when I get to Heaven, can I taste the Milky Way?
"I don't wanna come to visit 'cause I'm comin' home to stay?
"An' I can't wait to see my family and meet Jesus face to face.
"An' do you think, Lord, you could use just one more Angel,
"To help pour out the rain?"
Mmmm, can I help pour out the rain?
“Momma, I am so tired.” Conner said into her neck as she held him.
Zoe fought the tears away wanting to stay strong for him down to the last second. As she listened to the song play she took a deep breath. “Then close your eyes baby. When you wake up there will be no more pain, no more doctors or hospitals.”
“Will grandpa know who I am? It’s been so long.”
Dale heard Michael’s breath catch in his throat. “Yeah, kiddo, he is waiting for you. He is going to take good care of you till we get there.” Conner hugged his daddy before laying down his head resting in Zoe’s lap.
“I love you.” he whispered.
“We love you too baby boy.” Dale said stretching out beside him his head also on Zoe’s lap.
Conner looked to Macy. “ I love you Mace.”
As her tears finally fell for her best friend she said, “I love you too. I won’t forget, I promise.”
Conner smiled and closed his eyes. Zoe felt him fall into a deep sleep and then felt his breathing start to slow. As Dale buried his face in his son’s neck Zoe finally let her own tears fall.
Michael carried Macy out of the room as Buffy quietly followed. Buffy stood watching her best friends with their son then turned to her own husband who tried to comfort their grieving daughter. “God, please watch over them, all of them.”
10 years later-December
The upcoming season was to be Michael’s last and he stood in the Napa shop with Dale and Macy. “I know you don’t want me too but you can’t control my life forever daddy.”
“I can till you are out of the house, you are not doing this.” Michael almost yelled back at her. Dale just watched as he wondered what was going through both their heads.
“Well, that can be today if you want.” She yelled back. Michael froze, he honestly couldn’t imagine the house without her. “I love you daddy and I hate to go against your wishes, I never have before. But I am doing this, with or with out your help.”
“How the hell do you figure that.”
“Because I only have to be 18 to be able to enter, my trust fund is mine as of my 18th birthday and that is in 2 weeks. You know I can drive, hell, I am the one who drove your Busch car to test it when you didn’t have anyone else to do it. You were ok with that.”
“You were testing on a track with 2 other cars, you are talking about the freaking 500. What makes you think you will even qualify? You have never run anything more than ARCA.”
“I will.” She said so definite that a chill ran down Dale’s spine. He saw a look in her eye and he knew it well. It was a look he had when he had something to prove to his daddy all those years ago.
“Your trust fund is for college.”
“I know, but this comes first. One race then I go to school.”
“Why are you so dead set on this?”
“Why can’t you just trust me?”
“It’s not about trust, Macy.”
“Daddy please, I have to, I promised.” the tears started to fall.
Macy didn’t cry over just anything. She learned the hard way that not too many things in this world are truly that important to worry yourself with. “Macy.”
She stepped away from him and threw a folder on the hood of the car. “I have carried that folder with me everyday for the last ten years. I slept with it under my pillow to make sure it never got lost.” When Michael didn’t make a move towards it, Dale did. He gasped at what he found inside. He immediately recognized the child’s handwriting and coloring inside. He still had pictures and letters framed in his office from the same child. Macy turned to Dale. “He drew it himself, the design, the color all his. He wanted to follow in your footsteps so badly. He planned on racing that car in the Daytona 500 one day. When we realized he never would, I promised him I would.” She turned back to her father. “That piece of paper means more to me today than it did back then. “Daddy, I need your help. Please. I don’t want to do this alone.”
Dale wiped at his tears as Buffy and Zoe walked into the shop. Noticing the tension and tears Buffy asked. “What’s up?”
“Auntie Macy.” the blond haired little girl ran yelling as Macy scooped her into her arms. “Hey, Kaylie.”
Dale handed the folder to Michael. “You know I have always stood behind you when it came to your kids. I have never doubted your decisions but Macy’s right. She doesn’t need your permission or her trust fund.” He turned from Michael to Macy. “I will handle everything. The car will be built within the week. I will need you to go to the paint shop and tell them what you want. NO Sponsors. You will drive it for DEI in Feb, for Conner.” He took his daughter out of Macy’s arm. “I am sorry Michael.” He heard his gasp as he read through the papers. He joined Zoe in the doorway then stopped. “Macy?” She turned to him. “Thank you for loving him and never forgetting him.”
Michael sat in his bedroom staring out the window at the old swing set, remembering the days when he would push Macy and Conner on those swings. He remembered how hard those first few years after Conner’s death was on everyone, especially Dale and Zoe. He often wondered how Macy stayed so upbeat and happy when everyone became so cynical and sad. Now he knew. She had a goal, she was going to let him survive through her. Macy had spent so much time with Dale and Zoe even after Conner was gone. She helped take care of his two puppies, she helped Zoe clean out his room when Dale couldn’t, he was concerned it was too much for a little girl but it was 4 years later that he knew she would be fine. Zoe and Dale had decided not to have anymore children, so they were shocked when Zoe found out she was pregnant. They had mixed feelings on the pregnancy when Macy went to them one day at the tender age of 13 and told them not to worry. “Don’t you see, this baby was handpicked and sent to you by Conner. He knows your still sad and that you need this baby to help you to heal and to be happy.” By the time Macy was done with them they were so happy and excited for this pregnancy that they let Macy pick her name.
“Daddy.”
Michael looked up from the window to her. “Yeah pumpkin.”
“I know you are mad but.”
“Macy come here.” She kneeled down on the floor next to him. “I am not mad at you I just worry. You don’t have Cup experience and the 500 is huge…”
“I know but I have thought”
“I know you have. That’s what you do, you think things through, you fix what we all mess up. I am so proud of you. That’s why, I will help you any way I can.”
“Oh daddy.” She jumped up into his lap. She may have been almost 18 but she was still daddy’s princess. “Thank you so much. I love you.”
“I love you too sweetheart.”
Daytona February
Even in the last ten years not too many women had struck it big in Nascar and those who tried were mainly in Busch. So of course more than a few eyebrows raised when Macy Waltrip was entered into the Daytona 500 as a driver for DEI not Waltrip Racing.
As she walked up pit road in her solid black fire suit she stared at the 08 car as she approached it. The paint job had turned out amazing. The car was black with silver flames shooting towards the back of the car. The numbers were blood red and there was a huge silver symbol on the hood. Across the back ‘trunk’ it said In Memory of Conner Lee Earnhardt in the same red. She couldn’t help but smile at how it turned out exactly as she had pictured it when she was 8.
A reporter stopped her as she grabbed her helmet out of her car. Dale and Michael right behind him. “Macy can I get a few words?”
She eyed the guys. “Of course.”
“We have all heard the story, we know why you are here. He designed this car right? What 10 years ago?”
“Yeah, for the most part. He didn’t have a design for the hood or know what number to use so I chose those.”
“What is that symbol?”
“Well, we went with the 08 to bring that Earnhardt tradition into it.” She smiled at Dale. “And I chose this symbol because it is the Chinese symbol for friendship.”
“It is a very sharp car. Good luck today Macy.”
“Thanks.”
Michael hugged her and as she climbed into the car Dale leaned in. “Macy, no matter what happens today, I am so thankful for what you have accomplished for him.”
Zoe held Buffy’s hand as they watched Macy take her second lap. Dale and Michael were on the pit wall watching a stopwatch closely. “Come on baby.” Michael whispered.
“Well, I’ll be damned. The girl did it.” Dale said to no one imparticular.
The crowd went wild as Michael looked up at the pylon not believing what he saw. Buffy and Zoe jumped down and Buffy grabbed her husband. Another thunderous applause went out as the PA system announced Macy Waltrip starting 10th.”
Macy pulled her car onto the pit road as the tears started to flow for her fallen friend. She didn’t get out right away, she knew the camera’s would be there and she needed a moment. That had been one hell of a race.
“Macy, baby you ok?” Buffy said leaning in and helping her with her belts.
“Yeah, I just need a sec.”
Buffy heard the tears. “Take your time, this is for the two of you. All of them can wait. I am so proud of you. That was an amazing run.”
“We did it Conner. What do you think? I love you and miss you so much.” she took a deep breath and climbed from her car.
“Macy, that was a great run. Did you expect to finish 12th in your first attempt?”
“No, of course not. The car was great, everyone at DEI has been wonderful helping me to do this. I couldn’t have done this without everyone’s help especially my family and Dale and Zoe. I think Conner would have been proud.”
“I know I am.” Dale said stepping up. “This young lady made one of my son’s wishes come true ten years after it was made. I am so proud of her and will never be able to repay her for what she has done here today.”
“Macy, with a run like that you know other teams are going to be looking your way for a full time ride. What do you say to that?”
“Oh lord.” Everyone heard Michael say.
Macy laughed as she wrapped her arms around her daddy’s waist. “Sorry, this was a one time deal. I have school starting in a few months.”
“Really? May I ask where and what you are majoring in?”
She smiled. “I am attending University of Charlotte, not ready to leave home just yet. Don’t think the old man here can handle two heart attacks this year.” She grinned up at him. “ I am majoring in medicine.”
“Wow, big plans then.” She just nodded. “Well, congrats on your run Macy, or should I say Dr. Waltrip.”