New Years Eve
Dale’s phone rang. "Hey, Teresa. What’s up?"
"I don’t know what you did or said but Michael called me this morning and said he wasn’t retiring. Just wanted to let you know. Thank you so much."
Dale had mixed feeling about the news. "Good, that’s good. Look Teresa I need to run. I will talk to you later." He hung up the phone more confused than he was to begin with. On one hand he was glad Michael changed his mind, maybe he was coming around. He couldn’t imagine him not being at the track every week. On the other hand, Dale wasn’t so sure he wanted to see him anymore. He didn’t know he could completely trust him, sure he knew Michael didn’t mean to hurt him but he did.
*************
Michael opened the door to find Kelly on the other side. "Kelly, what are you? Sorry, come in."
"Thanks. Can we talk Mike?"
Michael looked at the expression on her face. "You know don’t you?" He lead her to the living room and motioned for her to sit on the couch. He nervously paced the floor.
"Yeah."
"Wow. Didn’t actually think he’d ever tell anyone." He walked back and forth across the living room. He suddenly stopped. "How much did he tell you?"
She looked at him. "Everything and he only told me cause I saw the bruises on his back."
He sucked in a breath. "Bruises, oh God, I didn’t mean, I never meant to hurt him, I swear. I just…"
"Michael, sit, please." He finally looked at her and saw a mixture of confusion, anger, and compassion on her face. He sat across from her in a chair. "Michael, I am not even going to pretend that I understand what is going on between you and my brother. And I am not going to tell either of you that you have my blessing or that I’m happy with it. Not yet at least, this is going to take a lot of getting use to. I do however know a little of the pain and anger you feel from losing Buffy. I’m sure you didn’t mean to hurt Dale and so is he but that doesn’t change the fact that you did. I don’t have an answer as to what you two need to do now but I do know he can’t go on like this. Looking back I can see how miserable he was after daddy died but I never did much to help him through it, none of us did," she paused her own guilt mixing in with her other emotions. "except for you. I can also see that he has been different the past year or two, happier, and he says that you’re the reason for that change. He is worse now than he ever was, what ever has to happen to make him happy again please make an effort to fix it."
Michael chose his words wisely. "Kelly, if I were to go to Dale and if we were to…shit…was this just as hard for him?"
"Yes, but he was finally able to admit it and say it out loud. Can you?"
Michael looked at her. "I want to be with him. I don’t want to have to sneak around anymore, I love him."
"So go tell him that."
"I would but " just then Macy ran into the room. "Can’t just leave."
Kelly thought to her herself while watching Michael and Macy. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted to help this ’relationship’. She was very confused and was worried what the fallout would be if this became public knowledge. But she also couldn’t stand to watch her brother as miserable as he had been this past week. "Macy, how would you like to spend the night with Karsyn?"
"Can I daddy?"
He looked at Kelly, "You sure?"
She knew he was asking about more than just the sleepover. Her decision to that one question would forever change all their lives. She nodded. "I want him to be happy. Michael, I want you to be happy."
He faintly smiled. "Come on kiddo, let’s get you packed." Macy skipped to her room. Michael stopped, "Thank you. Kelly."
Later that night.
Michael felt nausea as he stood on Dale’s front porch. He started to knock but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He sat on the bench to the side of the door and closed his eyes resting his head against the wall. How could he ever expect Dale to forgive him for what he had done? How could they live a normal life together? Their careers would be over, they would probably lose fans, hell friends and family would certainly shun them. He pulled his jacket around him as the wind kicked up, he didn’t move he would sit there and freeze before he left but he also couldn’t face him, not yet.
Dale watched him from the side of the porch. He had been in the garage working on a car when he heard him pull up. He recognized the car right away but froze at the banister not being able to confront him. He realized Michael felt the same way when he never knocked, just sat down. When the wind kicked up even more he finally moved towards the steps of the porch. He quietly stood watching Michael as his longer than usual hair blew in the wind. His cheeks were a rosy red color and his breath could be seen as he slowly exhaled. His fingers were clutching his coat together and were a light shade of pale blue. "Come on, you’re going to catch your death out here. What don’t believe in gloves?"
Michaels eyes shot open and he jumped to his feet like a child caught in the act of misbehaving. "I…uh…I…"
"Come on, it’s cold." Dale stepped out of the way to allow him room to enter. He tossed his coat on a chair and pushed up his sleeves grabbing a piece of wood and throwing it on the fire to get it blazing again. Michael stayed near the door scared to move. His eyes rested on the finger shape bruises on Dale’s forearm, the bile rising in his throat. He was the cause of those bruises and probably many more. "Come on, you are seriously going to be sick if you don’t warm up." Dale disappeared into the kitchen as Michael sat by the fire. When he came back he was carrying two cups of coffee, he sat one on the table for Michael and then sat in a chair away from him.
"Thanks." The distance didn’t go unnoticed. "Jun, err, Dale."
"I am still Junior." Dale said not looking at him.
"Even to me?"
Dale looked up and met his stare. "Especially to you."
Michael half smiled. "I am so sorry, for everything. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t forgive myself for that night or for pushing you away in the first place."
"What made you come here tonight?"
"Kelly came over this morning. Took Macy to spend the night."
"She did?" Dale was surprised he didn’t think she would be so open to them.
"Yeah, she’s just as lost and confused as we are but she was worried about you."
Several minutes passed and niether of them said a word. Dale looked at his watch. 8pm. "I was getting ready to make something to eat. You want to stay?"
Michael looked up at him. "You don’t mind?"
"No." Dale shook his head. "Anyway, you look like you could use a few extra calories. Come on." Dale stood and walked to the kitchen.
Michael stopped in the doorway. "Maybe I should just go. I am sure you have a party to get too."
"Nope. Canceled all my plans. Not into the party scene this year. You don’t need to be alone tonight and I would much rather spend New Year’s Eve with…" He caught Michael’s eye and paused on the end of his sentence. "I would rather spend it with you."
Michael walked into the kitchen and grabbed a knife slicing a green onion and mushrooms for the pizza dough that Dale was smoothing onto a pizza pan. Dinner was kind of quiet but went well. Dale grabbed the dishes and carried them to the sink to rinse them. When he felt Michael’s presence behind him he jumped. He didn’t mean to but he was still a little apprehensive around him.
"Shit. I’m sorry. I should just go." Michael quickly found his coat and headed for the door as Dale leaned against the sink trying to catch his breath. Part of him wanted to let Michael go, just end it all. However, his heart won out.
He made it to the living room in time to see Michael step out onto the porch. "Mikey." Michael stopped dead in his tracks, he hadn’t called him that since the night Buffy died. "Come back in, please. We have avoided this all night, we can’t anymore." He reached for Michael’s arm, gently pulling him to the door. "Please don’t leave."
Michael stepped back inside never looking Dale in the eye. Dale lead him back to the family room where they had been watching various New Year’s Eve Specials. Dale hit mute on the remote and turned to Michael. "Look, I am not going to say I am 100% with you right now. You scared me that night, you weren’t you. I don’t know who you were but yeah, I have some issues with trusting you right now."
Michael sat on a stool at the bar. Dale sat a Bud in front of him. "I don’t know what happened that night. I can’t even explain what I was thinking. There are parts of the evening I don’t even remember. I don’t blame you for hating me."
"Mikey, I don’t hate you."
"Dale, I raped you."
Dale cringed at the words as he leaned his neck to each side popping it. "Maybe, technically, but I didn’t exactly fight you or tell you to stop. I knew you were hurting, I knew the guilt was killing you. It has been eating at me for weeks. You needed a release and I was it."
"That didn’t give me the right to take it out on you. That wasn‘t fair or right of me." He choked on his words.
Dale heard the tears in his voice. "No, it didn’t but it’s over. It‘s New Year‘s Eve, it‘s time to start over. It‘s all we can do."
Michael dropped his head to the bar. He didn’t deserve Dale’s trust or forgiveness. He couldn’t believe Dale was even willing to try and forgive him. Why should he?
Dale turned the volumn back up on the tv. It was just a couple of minutes till midnight. Dale looked at Michael. He was beat, he had hit bottom, he fought everyday to keep going for his kids. That was all he had left in his eyes. "I am not saying I am ready for anything physical to happen between us. I need more time than the past few days but I can’t and won’t lose you in my life. I don’t know what will happen, where this will go but I am not ready to give it up. I do know it won’t be easy. Kelly knows about us, it’s only a matter of time until someone else finds out and honestly, I have mixed feelings about that. Part of me doesn’t want to deal with it. We stand to lose everything if this comes to light. But also part of me, part of me doesn’t give a shit who finds out because I think you are worth it." He walked to the bar and stood next to Michael.
Michael could feel the heat from his body but didn’t dare look at him. Dale swept the hair behind Michael’s ear causing Michael to slowly look up at him. He saw the compassion and softness in Dale’s eyes. Dale searched for the spark in Michael’s eyes. That glimmer of light that made him who he was, the light that made people smile when they were with him, made people happy when they were with him. The light that made you fall in love with him. It wasn’t there any more. It had been replaced by a dull lifeless look.
The countdown on tv began…..
10..."Where did my Mikey go?" Dale asked studying Michael’s face.
9..."He’s gone."
8..."But I want him back…
7...I need him back." Dale’s hands cupped Michael’s face.
6..."He doesn’t deserve you."
5...Dale kissed Michael‘s forehead. "I disagree."
4..."Dale, how can you be so forgiving?"
3..."Because," Dale kissed the single tear that slipped down Michael’s cheek away.
2..."I love you."
1...
As the ball in Time’s Square fell Dale’s mouth found Michael’s gently and softly at first. Then slightly more forceful as Michael’s hands despersatly grasped at Dales shirt begging him to never let go. Dale ran his tongue along Michael’s bottom lip until they parted and allowed Dale to deepen the kiss. Dale finally pulled away and stared into Michaels eyes. "Stay with me tonight."
"I thought you said…"
"I just want to fall asleep and wake up in your arms. Please." He took Michael’s hand in his and lead him to the bedroom. Dale peeled his shirt and jeans off and Michael froze as he saw the bruises down his back. His breathing quickened and all the guilt that had started to melt away came back. He turned to the door but Dale stopped him. "No, please don’t leave." Dale pulled the covers back on the bed and then slid under the covers. "Mikey?"
Michael stared at him for a moment before pulling off his own shirt and jeans and laid down on the bed, staying away from Dale. Dale flipped the light off and softly slid towards Michael laying his head on his chest and wrapping his arms and legs around him. After a few minutes Michael started to relax and wrapped his own arms around Dale, pulling him closer. He kissed the top of Dale’s head. "Junior?"
"Yeah."
"I love you too."
Dale smiled and hugged Michael as he closed his eyes and let sleep overcome him.