7
Four weeks had passed and Dale hadn’t heard from Michael at all. On Christmas Eve Dale left a message wishing them a Merry Christmas and letting them know that if they needed anything he was there. On Christmas night Dale went to Teresa’s for their traditional dinner. To his surprise Teresa had heard from Michael.
"He’s what?" Dale asked in shock.
"He said he’s retiring, not even starting this season. I know he’s depressed and trust me I don’t blame him. I know damn well where he is coming from but I can’t believe he is doing this to the company. We head to Daytona in 7 weeks and suddenly we don’t have a driver."
"Don’t fill it yet. Let me talk to him, I don’t know if I can get through to him but it’s worth a shot." Dale said not even believing the news himself.
A few hours later Dale found himself knocking on Michael’s door. "Oh, Dale. What’s up? Never mind, I can answer that myself. You talked to Teresa tonight." Michael just stared at him, all emotion gone from his eyes.
"Can I come in? It’s cold and see I have presents." Michael stood to the side and allowed him in. "Macy and Caitlyn here? These are for them."
"Caitlyn’s with her mom. I’ll put it under the tree. I was just getting ready to put Macy to bed. Hey Macy, come here."
Dale noticed the new lines in Michael’s face, the gray hair he didn’t try to cover anymore, the few pounds he lost. Macy came running in. "Uncle Dale." She ran into his arms.
"Merry Christmas kiddo, here you go."
"Thanks, can I open it now daddy."
"Sure, then you have to go to bed, it’s late."
"Ok," she sat in the middle of the floor and tore into the paper. Dale noticed a small smile on Michael’s lips as he watched his daughter. "Daddy, look it’s that Barbie I wanted. Thanks, Dale. Can I take it too bed with me tonight daddy?"
"Sure, go on in and I will come tuck you in."
"Ok, night uncle Dale." She hugged him again.
"Night, sweetie." They watched her run to her bedroom. "Teresa told me she wanted it and you couldn’t find it. I left you a message, I was going to give it too you, let you give it too her, I didn’t want to step on your toes." Dale looked down at the floor away from Michael. "You never called though."
"No, it’s fine, I am glad you found it. She wanted it so bad and I couldn’t get it for her, I know she was disappointed this morning when Santa didn‘t come through." He looked away. "I will be right back." He headed to Macy’s room to tuck her in.
Dale was standing next to the fireplace trying to warm up when Michael came back. "So?"
"Um, I have one more present." He handed Michael the small box.
Michael eyed the box, then Dale before tearing the paper off it. "Wow," He pulled a 24 karat gold pocket watch out of the box. The word Mikey engraved on one side and a racecar with the number 15 engraved on the other side. "It’s amazing. Thanks."
"I wanted to make it more personal." Dale said as Michael looked at the inscription on the inside. "But I thought, well, you know."
Michael noticed that it just said your friend Dale. "What did you want it to say?"
"Oh, I don’t know. I just didn’t want someone to see it and get the wrong idea."
Michael looked at him. "They wouldn’t be wrong now would they."
Dale just looked at him and decided to change the subject. "So how is Macy really doing?"
"Not bad for a little girl whose mother just died." Dale sighed this wasn’t going to be easy. "Just say it, Dale. Whatever you came here to say, say it."
"Ok, fine, you can’t be seriously considering retiring. You don’t want to do this. Look, I know what you are going through, so does Teresa. She understands and she is willing to give you all the time you need but don’t do this. You don’t really want to never drive again."
"Don’t tell me what I want to do. You don’t know." He started raising his voice.
"Michael, I just want what’s best for you and I don’t think this is it. Buffy wouldn‘t want it"
Michael slammed Dale against the wall. Dale winced in pain as he saw the anger flash through Michael’s eyes. "Don’t you dare tell me what she would have wanted. I don’t think my best interest is what you came for tonight."
"What are you talking about?" Dale asked as Michael drug him up the stairs to the bedroom. "Michael what the hell are you doing?"
"Isn’t this what you really wanted?" He roughly slammed him against the closed door and forced his mouth on his. Dale tried to push him away and realized that this situation was going to go from bad to worse very quickly with the amount of rage he had built up. He obviously hadn’t grieved for Buffy, probably felt too guilty to do so. Dale felt his jeans being dropped to his ankles and although this wasn’t exactly what he wanted, he wasn’t going to fight him. He would never win and in some sick way this was what Michael needed. He had to get this anger out and if this was his only release then so be it. Michael threw him to the bed and was on top of him before Dale could move to try and calm the whole situation. "What does everyone expect from me? What the hell do you want from me? Huh, what Dale, is this what you want? "
He wasn’t even Mikey anymore. Dale tried to relax as he felt Michael enter him but the pain was so great. He held his breath as he buried his face in the bed trying not to scream. He didn’t want to scare Macy. Michael thrust into him over and over, his release coming quickly. There was no release for Dale and as quickly as it started it was over.
Dale let out the breath he was holding and stood, he pulled his jeans back up and headed for the door. He stopped just outside turning and looking back, he wiped the tears off his face. "What do I want? To love you, it’s all I’ve ever wanted, to be able to love you."
Michael looked up, suddenly frozen in place. The realization that he just raped the one person who loved him unconditionally, the one person he trusted with his darkest secrets and his heart, the man he once called his lover, hitting him like a ton of bricks. "O God, what have I done?" He ran down the stairs and out the door but Dale was gone. He walked back into the house and saw the box on the couch. He walked over and picked up the pocket watch. The tears started to fall and they didn’t stop. He fell to the floor as the tears came and came, after several hours and completely exhausted the world just faded away and he fell into a deep sleep that was a long time coming.
Dale got home and barely made it to his own bed. He crawled into bed trying to ignore the pain shooting through his body but it was his heart that hurt the most. Michael crossed a line that he never imagined he would cross. Michael was the strong one, he was the one who took care of him and everyone else. If he fell apart who would keep everyone together. He didn’t bother to take off his clothes as he pulled the covers up to his chin. As the tears started to fall again he wondered if things would ever feel right again.