Dale finished the race 5th but Matt Kenseth finished 3rd giving him the advantage he needed. Dale pulled his car into the pits and slowly made his way out of the car. His crew met him giving their encouragement and congratulations for a great race and season. Dale was disappointed that he didn’t win the championship but even more disappointed when he scanned the area looking for the one person he wanted there but couldn’t find him.
Michael watched from behind the pit box out of Dale’s sight. He wanted to go to him, console him, he had nothing to be ashamed of but he knew Dale would pick his whole season apart wondering where he could have done better. He knew he couldn’t, it would just be way too hard.
Dale headed home directly after the race but it was four days until Thanksgiving when he saw the flashing red light on his answering machine. "Hey, Junior, it’s Michael. Buffy is heading up to her parents with Macy tomorrow morning, I am not heading up until Wed night. I would really like to see you. I know I haven’t called or anything and I…well…I really would like to see you. Tuesday night? Let me know."
Dale stared at the machine, tomorrow was Monday and he was free Tuesday. Did he dare go? He hadn’t even bothered to call or stop by. Not a that’s too bad, you did good, nothing. It didn’t matter. He had to see him, needed to see him.
Tuesday night Michael swung the door open "Hey, thanks for coming by."
"Yeah, no problem." Dale hated how weird things had gotten between them.
They went downstairs to the game room and flipped on a football game. Michael grabbed 2 beers and handed one to Dale. "I am sorry I haven’t gotten a hold of you sooner, I just…shit Dale, I don’t know."
"What’s up Mikey?" Dale asked hoping this was going where he wanted it to go.
"I miss you. I so wanted to come to your car that day and just tell you it was ok but I was scared that I would get too close again. I wouldn’t have wanted to let you go."
"You weren’t even there, you were the one person other than my dad who I would have wanted with me and neither of you were there."
Michael heard the hurt in his voice and it upset him to know he was the cause of his pain. He knew there was no excuse for his behavior the past couple weeks and he couldn‘t take it back no matter how much he wanted to. "Yes I was." He whispered.
"What?" Dale’s eyes grew large in confusion. "No, I didn’t see…"
"I was hiding behind one of the tool boxes where no one would see me. I didn’t stay long, I wanted to see you, wanted to take you in my arms and tell you it would be ok." Dale just stared at him not knowing what to say. "I want you back in my life. Even if it is just every once in a while, this whole avoiding each other, I can’t do that anymore."
"I know but I don’t know how to do this."
"Why can’t we just have what we had?" Dale looked at him. Michael moved over to the couch and sat by Dale. "I know it isn’t easy but wouldn’t you rather have us every once in a while instead of never?" His eyes pleading with Dale to take him back.
Dale watched him closely before answering him by leaning over and kissing him. Michael leaned into the kiss before standing and pulling Dale up the stairs to the master bedroom. They quickly pulled each others clothing off and fell onto the bed in a tangled heap. They were laying side by side faces buried in each others crotches when they heard a gasp.
"Oh my God."
Mikey looked to the doorway to see Buffy standing there watching him and Dale. "Oh shit." She ran out and down the stairs. "Buffy!" He grabbed his boxers and ran after her.
Dale sat staring at the empty doorway. He knew that if Buffy was pissed and upset enough the whole world would know about him and Mikey by morning. Yet all he could think about was how what had been the only so called relationship that made him feel real was gone. The only person who seemed to care about him for who he was, he just lost and probably for good this time. He felt a nausea feeling come over him, he found his clothes and headed down the stairs. He heard Mikey and Buffy arguing, he was tempted to stay and listen but snuck out the back door instead.
"Buffy, stop please." he grabbed at her arm "please, let’s talk about this."
Buffy actually stopped catching Michael off guard as he stumbled into her. "Shit," she spun around and yanked her arm from him. She looked at him, "Jesus, Mike, what the hell? I mean Jr.? I am trying to figure out if I would have rather caught you with a woman?"
"You know you wouldn’t . I know I cheated on you and it was wrong…"
"But…tell me Michael, just how are you planning on justifying you fucking your dead bosses son?"
He knew she was upset and he didn’t blame her but he still flinched at her words. "It wasn’t like that." He sat on the couch and looked up at her.
She sat in a chair on the other side of the room and neither said a word for several minutes. Finally she looked over at him, "So what are you gay, bi, what? Michael, I don’t understand this."
"I don’t know that I do either." He looked at her. "I am not gay, I don’t know what it is. It’s not like I think about Stewart, Gordon, Park or anyone else for that matter. It’s not just a physical thing with us it’s a need, an ache."
"Are you in love with him?"
"Do I love him? Yes. The way I love you? No. It’s a different kind of love and it’s a comfort zone for us."
"How long has this been going on?"
"3 years. The first time was the Daytona 400 right after Dale died. We were there for each other when it felt like no one else was."
"3 years, you have to be kidding. How in the hell have you done this behind my back for that long?"
"No, in the 3 years we have only been together 4 maybe 5 times. It wasn’t an ongoing thing. It just happened every now and then, it has been more often as of late. Buffy, I love you with all my heart I always have and always will. You fulfill my life in every way."
"Except this one way."
He looked down "yes. It was never suppose to go beyond the first night and it‘s my fault that it did, not his. We didn‘t plan any of it and swore we wouldn‘t let it happen again. But we couldn’t stay away from each other. I know this doesn‘t make it ok."
They sat there for a while before Michael called for Dale, when there was no answer he jogged up the stairs to find the bedroom empty. "Damn it." When he turned he found Buffy standing in the doorway. "Say something please."
"I need to be alone." she turned and grabbing her keys was downstairs and on the porch before Michael stopped her.
"Wait, one thing, well 2 things. This could destroy Dale, I don’t blame you for hating me. Tell the world what you want about me I will take the fall for everything just don’t hurt him anymore than he has already been hurt. It’s my fault this all happened and every time he fell into that bed it was because of how alone and scared he was. Please don’t ruin his life, career or his family."
"And the second thing?" Buffy asked taking in his words.
"I love you."
Buffy looked at him and walked to her car without another word. Michael felt sick as he turned and went back inside, everything that had seemed so right, now was gone and he didn’t know if it would ever be right again.