Dale awoke the next morning before Michael and turned his head to watch him sleep. Michael’s arm was draped over Dale’s hip and down his leg. Dale looked at the clock. "7am on New Year’s Day, I don’t think so." he whispered and closed his eyes not needing to be anywhere.
He opened his eyes a little later and felt fingers gently tracing the bruises on his back. He looked at the clock. 9am. "Stop worrying about it."
"I can’t. I don’t know how I could have been so stupid?"
Dale turned into Michael’s embrace. "Mikey, we have to move on, unless you don’t want us to move on?"
"Honestly, I don’t know what I want. No, that’s not true, I want you. I meant it last night, I love you. I just have to think about Macy and Caitlyn. It’s not like you can stay there and it’s not like I can just leave the house when I want. We can‘t just start acting like a couple." He looked away from Dale but continued to run his hand up and down Dale’s arm.
"What else? You aren’t done, what aren’t you telling me? Mikey we have to be honest with each other, if we aren’t then we might as well not even try to make anything work."
Michael looked back to Dale. "I never stopped loving Buffy and I won’t now. I can’t."
"I would never ask you too. I didn’t before and I won’t now. It has only been 5 weeks. I don’t expect anything from you, except for you to not push me away again. I honestly am not ready for anything to happen between us. You need to grieve and move on, you also have to decide if you want to pursue this. It won’t be easy. People are going to find out. I know you have the girls to look after and they should be your first priority. Just be honest with me."
"Do you trust me?"
Dale gently stroked his cheek. "Saying I didn’t trust you last night was the wrong choice of words. I do trust you, I know you weren’t yourself that night. I…I don’t honestly know. I love you, I trust you, and I want to be with you…"
"But?"
"Something isn’t right, something isn’t 100% right now. Maybe it’s that I know you need to take some time for yourself, maybe it’s that I’m not ready to be physical with you yet. I don’t know, I just want to take things slow." Dale sat up and leaned against the headboard. Michael turned and faced him. "Look, before the accident, the only pressure was to make sure no one found out. Now, the guilt alone is tremendous and there is a relationship to figure out if we choose to. If it gets out, what then? Will we still have friends, families, careers? It’s a lot of pressure all of a sudden."
"I know, a million thoughts have run through my head about all that. I guess we start over. Right here. Do you want to end this, whatever it is?" Michael asked running a hand gently around Dale’s navel.
"No."
"I am not saying I deserve it but can you forgive me for the rape."
"I have already forgiven you in a way. Again, it wasn’t entirely your fault. Are you ready to do what you have to do to start moving on?"
"Slowly, yes. I have to do it right, for Macy."
Dale nodded, he understood Michael position with his family. "Then, I guess we just be us." He looked at Michael trying to read his thoughts.
"I know you want to take things slow and I swear I will never, never push you or make you do something you don’t want to do again. I promise."
"But?"
"But I really want to kiss you right now, can I?" Dale grinned and nodded. Michael leaned forward and gently laced his fingers through Dale’s hair. Dale’s hand slid up Michael’s arm to his neck down his jaw to his cheek. Michael very gently placed his lips over Dale’s and massaged his lips with his own. Michael’s tongue moistened Dale’s lips as it begged for entrance. Dale was reluctant but finally allowed his entrance. As Michael deepend the kiss, he pushed Dale back down on the bed and covered his body with his. His hands trailed Dale’s body and Dale’s head raced as he thought back to Christmas night. He ran his hand’s down Michael’s chest and suddenly pushed him away.
"Stop." Dale saw the hurt look on his face and tried to recover. "It’s just a little too much, too quick."
"It’s ok, I understand." Actually, he did and he didn’t. "Maybe I should just go."
Dale grabbed Michael’s arm and pulled him back down on the bed. "No, don’t leave." He slid down into the bed and pulled Michael down next to him. "I don’t think you do understand. I have no problems kissing you, I love kissing you. Last night I was fine, I was in charge, but when you took control of the situation; all I could think of was that night. It won’t always be like this."
"What if it is?"
"It won’t." "How do you know? How do you know you can get past this?"
"Because I do love you and I know that’s enough. If love isn’t enough then what’s the point to anything."
Michael laid back under the covers and Dale snuggled back into his arms. It was not only a new day but a new year and they both vowed to make it right.