A.B.O.U.T M.E F.A.V.E M.O.V.I.E: THE NOTEBOOK, MEAN GIRLS, UPTOWNGIRLS, A WALK TO REMEMBER, AND TUCK EVERLASTING! F.A.V.E S.H.O.W: DESPRATE HOUSEWIVES,MEET THE BARKERS, MY OWN, ROOM RAIDERS, AND MAINLY ANYTHING ON MTV! F.A.V.E C.O.L.O.R.S: PINK AND WHITE! F.A.V.E F.O.O.D: EGGROLLS, LOBSTER, AND STEAK! F.A.V.E D.R.I.N.K: WATER, POWERADE, DIET DR. PEPPER, AND DIET MOUNTAIN DEW! My Pictures

S.H.O.U.T.O.U.T.S K.E.L.S.E.Y M.E.G.A.N A.U.T.U.M S.T.E.F.A.N.I.E D.E.V.O.N J.O.R.D.A.N B.R.I.A.N.N.A T.A.R.R.A S.A.M.A.N.T.H.A M.Y.R.I.K.A S.H.E.E.N.A M.A.T.T B.R.O.C.K A.N.A A.S.H.T.O.N H.A.I.L.E.Y A.L.E.X J.O.H.N.N.Y J.E.N.N.I.F.E.R B.R.I.T.T.A.N.Y C.O.M.B.S.(6TH) B.R.A.N.D.O.N. A.D.A.M.S. R.I.T.A A.L.L.I.S.O.N. M.I.C.C.A T.I.F.F.A.N.Y R.A.C.H.E.L. B.A.K.E.R

Quotes The Simple Life TV Quotes Paris Hilton: What is Wal-Mart?... 'Cause, like, they sell wall stuff? [finding herself short of cash at Walmart] Paris Hilton: Can I take the extra stuff for free? Cashier: This is not a soup kitchen. Paris Hilton: What's a soup kitchen? Paris Hilton: That bacon smells good. Nicole Richie: Yea... They probably killed it this morning. [after being asked to pluck a chicken] Nicole Richie: The only thing getting plucked around here are my eyebrows. Nicole Richie: [while Paris is spraying almost the entire can of lysol into the stinky truck] Enough. Do you want to smell like that dear? Paris Hilton: Yes. Laguna Beach Quotes Stephen: [while surfing] You've gotta be aware of everyone else around you. Kristen: I'm not good at that! Kristin Cavalleri: Steephaaaannn Lauren Bosworth: How far are you and Stephen away from each other? Lauren Conrad: Like, five minutes. Lauren Bosworth: Really? Lauren Bosworth: I think you guys are gonna get married. Lauren Conrad: I think we're gonna be best friends. Lauren Bosworth: That stuff happens, though, you know, like. Lauren Conrad: I don't wanna marry Stephen Lauren Bosworth: Why? He's cute, you'd have pretty babies. Lauren Bosworth: You would have pretty babies, your babies would be like the popular people at school. Lauren Conrad: That's sweet. Lauren Bosworth: They would. Lo's Mom: Lo it's not a fashion show... Lauren Bosworth: Every day's a fashion show mom. Stephen Coletti: You look real good, keep dancing on the bar SLUT! Trey Phillips: [to a midget] What? You wanna go? Lauren Bosworth: Well, Kristin just about hates us . Lauren Conrad: No, Kristin hates me but that's okay. Kristin Cavalleri: Jessica, he's cheating on you! Take it from someone who used to cheat on her boyfriend. Those are signs of him cheating! Jessica Simpson Quotes "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea." "Jessica, you want some buffalo wings?' 'Sorry I don't eat buffalo." "Twenty-three is old. It's almost 25, which is like almost mid-20s." "I`m such a blonde . It just doesn`t make sense for me to have dark hair" "I don`t think people would take me seriously . They take me seriously as a blonde" "Jessica: Ooh I love this scent. Friend: What is it? Jessica: Ah...oh, it's unscented." "When I found out they were making the movie , it was a dream role for me . I wanted people to know that I`m a strong woman . I went after this role as hard as I could" "I think there's a difference between ditzy and dumb. Dumb is just not knowing. Ditzy is having the courage to ask!" "What if I accidentally hit somebody? Because my dad took one of his friends golfing, and it was, like, one of his first times and he knocked out a duck. Like, I'm scared that's going to happen." "I have to go... drop some kids in the pool." "I hate record labels. They think they know everything. I want to hear them try to sing it." "Am I eating chicken or tuna?" "I made sure no butt cheek hung out, ... You know, the original Daisy, Catherine Bach's shorts were shorter than mine."

Jokes Bad Words.. A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, " so how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home..., PLEASE MAMA!" "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!" "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..." "I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother. $500 Porsche A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche. "Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house. "Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?" "My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money." Adventures in Disneyland Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left." So they went home. 3 Couples, 2 Compliments, 1 Adventure! Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. "Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal. "Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second. "Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third. A Child's Prayer One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa." The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma." The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy." Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!" A Lesson in Church A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting. The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?" The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!" The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right." Then he asked "Who is God's son?" Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!" Again, the priest said, "Correct." Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?" The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed "Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!" The priest smiled and said, "That's right." Q: Why did the blonde have to drink a hot pepsi? A: Because she couldn't fit any ice into the bottle. Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down." What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? "Oh look, donut seeds." A Blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said:"there's no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see's a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" So the man cooly says "Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you're going to have to pay for those holes. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you." A blonde was woken up in the middle of the night to find her house on fire. So she went straight to the phone and called 911. When they asked how do you we get to your house, she said "Duh...in the big red truck!" How do you regonize a blonde in school? They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board. The blonde couldn't call 911 because she couldn't find the 11 button on the phone. The blonde got burnt bobbing for french fries. The blonde couldn't go water skiing because she couldn't find a lake with a slope on it. The blonde thought the capital of California was "C". The blonde returned a scarf because she thought it was too tight