If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is
crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably
because of something you did."
If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one wo uld you think liked
dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though. It's Hambone.
The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid
man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in
it. Then he'll stand up and go, "Hey, I'm Vine Man."
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people
happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface
attached to the end of a long stick.
Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a
tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet
How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more
feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.
I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world. He'd
get right up next to your face and yell, and if you didn't have the right answers, mister,
you'd be peeling potatoes or chainging the latrine. Hey, wait. I wasn't in the army. Then
who WAS that guy?!
I wish there was a disease where you're afraid of clouds, because I think I could cure it.
First, you sit the patient down and have a long personal talk. After that, I'm not sure, but
maybe you could throw some water in his face or something.
NOT THE BRIGHTEST CRAYON IN THE BOX NOW ARE WE ?? No ma'am :(
Boys say ur ugly boys say ur dirt,boys say all these things and expect them not to hurt,so next time u say it remember how we feel to u it may be a joke but to us its a big deal
Sweet petite,about5feet,Cutest shorty,you'll ever meet,Perfect smile,tiny waist,Lips the guys wana taste,Prety hair&sexy eyes,Danm I got you hypnotized!
(*)}~*¤ßãߥ*G¤*~{(*)
there are things that ppl luv to do....too bad they r all either immoral, illegal, or fattening
(#)«*~¤¿§ûÑšHïÑ迤~*» (#)
WhY Is It WhEn He LiKeS YoU…YoU DoNt LiKe HiM, BuT WhEn YoU LiKe HiM, He DoEsNt LiKe YoU?!
*While you gave her flowers, you gave me thorns. While all she did was smile, all I did was mourn. While she was happy, I felt so blue. BEcause while you loved her, I was loving you...*
iTs NoT PMS... i JuS DoNt LikE YoU.....k WelL MaBeY ItZ A LiL BiT Of BoTh!!
*~DoNt Wa§tE pReCiOu§ TiMe CrYiN, §PeNd It PrEpArInG yOuR§eLf FoR tHe NeXt A§§hOlE tHaT tRiE§ To BrEaK yOuR hEaRt~*
~*(*)Objects under my shirt, may be larger then they appear(*)*~
~*(*)You know your gay if you don't wanna be with me(*)*~
~*(*)If you think I'm a bitch...you should meet my mother(*)*~
You’d be pretty dam sexy if it wasnt for Ur face...that can be fixed.
u say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing
