"Being from Southern California, I've learned a lot moving to New York City. For instance, I didn't know what a crackhead was...until I met my super...and his two assistants."

"When I was in High School they told me when I got into college, your college dorm is supposed to be like your family, so I automatically assumed everyone was going to be on welfare and disability."

"I've learned alot about myself here recently. Like, I always meet a man with a junky house. You know I must really be a cheap date for real. You know how most girls meet a guy and the guy tries to impress them by taking them to all the nice places... well, the fellas always take me straight home."

"Never date a man that has a ugly momma. Believe me, men with ugly mommas have issues. My theory is, you can't be breast fed by ugly titties and expect not to be bipolar later in life."

"If I say to you "It's been a pleasure" and then you say to me "No, the pleasure's mine", I'm gonna be mad at you for taking away my good time."