Blonde Jokes There was a brunette on the railroad tracks jumping up and down saying 22,22,22,22,22. So then a blonde walks by and thinks to herself that looks like fun. So she gets on the track and starts jumping. After 5 minutes the brunette jumps off but the blonde is still umpig and saying 22,22,22,22. Then a train comes and kills the blonde. So the brunette looks around and gets on the tracks and say 23,23,23,23 One day 3 construction workers where eating lunch. The red head says, “if my wife packs me macaroni again im gonna kill myself!” the brunette(brown) said if my wife gives me a salad again I'M gonna kill MYSELF! the blonde said if my wife packs me soup again I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF! the next day the red head said my wife packed me a salad. the brunette said my wife packed me macaroni. (redhead to brunette) where is that blonde dude? (brunette) I dont know. the next week they went to his funeral. redhead and brunette)they asked his wife why did u make your husband soup again? (wife)its not my faught he makes his own lunch. Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven. There was a Blonde a Brunette and a Red Head all three of them were running from the cops and they decided to hide inside an abandoned barn when they go into the barn they saw three potato sacks on the floor so they each hid in one. when the cops got into the barn they saw the potatoe sacks and poked the one the brunette was in and she said moo so they thought it was a cow so they went to the one the red head was in and poked it she said oink oink so they thought it was a pig so they went to the last one the blonde was in and they poked it and then she said potato potato. One day a lawyer decides to go into the local bar for a drink or two. While the lawyer sits down with his drink, a blonde walks in. Thinking this is a perfect chance to make money; the lawyer invites the blonde over to come have a drink with him. The lawyer says "How would you like to play a little game?" The blonde says, "I don't know, I'm very tired" The lawyer says "come on, it will be very fun." The blonde says I still don't think I want to" The lawyer eventually starts explaining the rules "This is how you play; first I ask you a question. If you dont know what the answer is you pay me five bucks, vice versa." "I don't know" says the blond. "How about this the lawyer goes on, Instead of me giving you five bucks for not knowing the answer to your question, I'll give you fifty, deal?" The blonde wearily says "Anything for a quiet life." The lawyer asks the first question, "What's the circumference of the world?" The blonde, without even trying to think, hands the lawyer five bucks. Then the blonde asks, "What goes up a hill with two legs and comes down with three?" The lawyer is stumped. While the blond doses off, the lawyer goes out of the bar to do research. He consults half-a-dozen encyclopedias, emails all of his friends, and searches the web, but still can't find the right answer. Admitting defeat, he hands over fifty dollars. Then he asks the blonde, "What was the answer?" the blonde quietly puts her hand in her purse, hands the lawyer five dollars, and falls asleep. A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend" The blonde said "No! A bet's a bet". So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money" The blonde replied "well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!" a blonde was driving in her car when she saw a tree to her left so she dodged it then she saw a tree to the right so she dodged it then she saw another tree to her left and dodged it then a cop pulled her over and said mam why were you swirving then she said because first i saw a tree to the left so i dodged it then i saw a tree to the right and dodged it then i saw another tree to my left and i dodged it then the police officer said mam thats your air freshener
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