In Gaia, I've been doing this forum thingy where you post for gold... Someone made up a "quiz" where you answer a bunch of questions. one of the questions is to count backwards from 1000....one number per post.... I'm only on 698... But that means I'm like...a quarter of the way there. Yay? heh.. I know it sounds ridiculous, but the reason why i'm doing it is to prove that I can do it. There are a bunch of other quizzes that seem m ore fun because they're just yes and no questions, and they don't require the whole counting thing... But people are constantly coming out with those, so I figure I'll do one of those later on. =P

I thought today might have something for me to do, but I guess I was wrong. I need to figure out when I'm going home for winter break, but I wanted to talk to Gene first, to see if he wanted to do something before I go home. Once I'm home, it's going to be a lot harder for me to have free time...I think. My mom probably has some stuff planned that I don't know about. That's how it always is.

I don't know - I'm thinking about not doing any sort of work for my final tomorrow. It's really bad, yes, but I'm just too tired to want to do anything. I did try to work on it in class, but I didn't have too much luck with it, I guess.... I don't think the teacher gave us enough time to learn the program..,.. I know I shouldn't aim to not work, but I'm seriously considering it. :X

For some reason, I felt so relieved that it's the weekend. Oddly, it's my last weekend before my finals are due. I can't believe in a week, at this time, I'll be in class....during a final critique. This semester, we'll go from 10am-1pm, and then 2pm-5pm. Six hours of critiquing fun.... =\ Six hours is a long time. I think last semester, somehow, it went by fast. I don't know if I'll be so lucky this semester. I'm glad that it doesn't sound like I'll have to build an entire model this semester - the building is huge, so it would take forever! Instead, my teachers want me to build parts of my building. That sounds more reasonable. I have to get my poster stuff done by Friday morning so I can submit it to be printed. That means I have one less day to work on it. :X If I'm lucky maybe I can finish all my visual images by Wednesday. One of my teachers had said that I was basically done with one of the images when I showed it to him. I was kind of flattered. =P

My mom called me about pickup time tomorrow. Wow, I can't believe it's already tomorrow! My dad will be getting off at 3:00, and he said he doesn't want to have to stick around, waiting for me, so it looks as though I'm going to have to call my mom and we'll play it by ear. Some people probably won't be showing up for studio tomorrow because of their plans... A girl was leaving yesterday after class because she had a plane to catch.. She should be home already (she lives on the east coast)....she's lucky. I can only hope that tomorrow, classes let out a bit earlier than normal.

Bleh. Alright, time to get working. =T

On Saturday, I hung out with my family, and I bought more stationery! Agggh, it's like a sickness. Except at least I actually use it...so it's not really going to waste. I know people might thing it's ridiculous to spend so much on something that can end up getting thrown out...or on something that I'm just giving away...but I like it. I like having it...and I like using it. It's just nice knowing that I'm sending out things that look cute/pretty. I have a letter that I need to send out, except I need a $0.01 stamp for it. I don't know where or when I can pick one up...and now that it's been rainy, I guess that's going to make it even harder. I think I have to go to USF to pick up my sketchbook for my Arts Outreach class, and USF sells stamps (according to usps.com...) so maybe when I get to campus, I'll check it out.

I have a few letters I want to write, but I'll probably get around to them either after this or maybe later this week. I like writing letters, but I have to admit that sometimes I don't feel like writing letters. I have to be in a letter writing mood. I guess I feel more like writing letters once I get new stationery, but I know I buy it faster than I use it. Bad habit, but I really like stationery. Stationery for me, is like how clothes shopping might be for other girls. I do like clothes...and electronics... But something in stationery calls out to me. =) My sister bought some too. Maybe this means I can expect a letter from her soon. :)

Well, I guess I'll get started on a thank you note to my relatives. Apparently they gave me a Starbucks gift card for Halloween! Yay!!! I get coffee!!!

The last thing I need right now is for me to want something so expensive, but I've seen lots of good games for it, and I've heard lots of good reviews. It's weird. When the Nintendo DS first came out, I thought it looked like an interesting take on games, but I figured it would just be another GameBoy, and nothing more. The games for it, though, are pretty damn cool. They have that one with dogs, where you can take care of a virtual dog (yes, it screams Tamagotchi, but if I can't have a dog in real life, at least I could have one virtually!) and I've also seen a different take on Mario Kart! On Wednesday, for my Computer Games: Theory And Practice class, we did our weekly show and tell. One of my classmates brought in her Nintendo DS, and showed us a game called Cooking Mama. Yes, it's Japanese. (Hence the strange title.) It's one of those games where it's kind of corny, but strangely addicting. You have to cut up things, or put things together to cook various recipes. She let us all try it out, and it's pretty fun! The little "pen" that comes with the DS is cool too... Man, I want a DS now.

I also heard that Cooking Mama will be out for Nintendo Wii next year. That sounds exciting. I just wish I had the money for a Wii too! Money sucks! I could always shell out the money myself, but I don't have a job, and therefore have no income. I don't want to spend and end up with nothing....so maybe I'll hold off on it. Although - since there's nothing I want for Christmas, really, maybe I'll go ahead and ask for it. It'll be the combined present from probably all of my relatives, but I feel like having the game now. (Damnit!)

So now, I have the Nintendo DS to add to my list of techno-y things I want which so far consists of:
Nintendo Wii
Play Station 3 (not especially, but I just saw the graphics on Wednesday, and they're CRAZY!)
iPod
anti-virus software
anti-spyware software

Argh!!!

I think if most guys got the chance to be with someone like a Playboy bunny, they'd take the chance. I know this is being pretty prejudiced, and that a lot or people (mainly guys) will feel annoyed with that statement, but honestly, that's what I've come to learn recently. Guys like the whole idea of these really pretty girls with big butts and big boobs. I guess sometimes, us "normal" girls don't really have a chance.

The only thing I can hope is that these kinds of situations will somehow filter out the good guys from the guys who are attracted mainly to the physical.

I've had people tell me I'm good looking...and I've never thought of myself as ugly. I just know that I don't really hold a flame to models, celebrities, etc... It just makes me sad knowing how much physical traits can make a difference to people, and that no matter what people do, they can't change it. (Aside from plastic surgery.) ..Society won't change - and if it does, it'll take a hell of a long time. People who have told me that if they saw me on the street, they'd take a second look must be liars, cause seriously - no one I've ever walked past has taken a second glance or even seemed to notice me.

It's just frustrating to live in a world where appearance makes such a big difference.

I think if I lived in the far future, I'd be better suited. By then, maybe things will be different. It just seems so much harder for me to accept the impact of our physical appearances than it is for other people. I wasn't meant for this world.

My classmate told me that he received a notification in the mail that he's not performing up to the teachers' expectations. I find that odd, because he produces a lot of work! I think it's just because he has a little bit of trouble communicating his ideas. One of the teachers is soo picky about word usage and how you describe things. In a way, that's good, because I think English and the value of words has really gone downhill, but at the same time, English isn't this guy's first language, so I think he should be cut some slack. The more dominant teacher is really picky about who he likes and I can easily see him playing favorites. Maybe that has something to do with it. Ever since I heard that, I've been kind of worried about receiving a notice as well, but I haven't received one yet. *whew*

I know I should probably be working even though I don't have anything specific I have to do, but it's so hard to feel like working right after a critique. My Arts Outreach class expects me to do some sort of visual response to a presentation we had last week, so I have to do that at the very least. The teachers will also be collecting the sketchbooks for that class tomorrow, so I have to make sure I don't forget it.

Mmm, those chocolate-filled Koala cookies are SOO good! I think they used to call them something different, but right now, they're calling them "Koara no Maachi." I think they've turned it into a matching sort of game... It's kind of interesting, but I think near impossible to match all the different koalas.

This morning, I woke up (I think?) and I just had this weird, nice feeling that it's Thursday I always look forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays because I have less work to do on those days. Well, actually, I should have more work to do on those days, but I don't have class, which makes me feel as though I have the entire day to relax and do nothing. I am planning to work. And I know I say that a lot, but I really do hope I follow through on it.

I can't tell my mom this, but: I need to wear my retainer more. At some point this semester, I stopped kind of wearing it. I'll wear it for a couple nights (or just one) and then completely forget about it because I'll fall asleep on accident, and then be too lazy to put it on. I think wearing it once in a while could be even worse than never wearing it. It could just be psychological, but I think the retainer pushes me teeth a little, which makes them a little bit looser, and then if I don't wear the retainer the next day, the teeth shift back to their old positions, and since they're already wiggly, maybe they shift farther away from their rightful positions. Once I wear them for one night, though, right when I take them off the next morning, my teeth (although they feel sensitive) feel good...straighter. This, again, could be psychological.... I really need to wear my retainer more...

Oh! I managed to download Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit. The game was originally called Fahrenheit, and I guess they thought it would be associated with Fahrenheit 9/11 too much, so they changed it to Indigo Prophecy. I hadn't heard of it before my Computer Games & Theory class, but we played it for a little bit (we're actually going to play it all of class on Monday...) and I really liked it. It's a story-based game, so it's almost like one of those Choose Your Own Adventure Books. The people do look computer rendered, but Atari really did a good job or making realistic body language, and facial expressions. I had a kind of hard time finding it...and then once I found it, I didn't know I had to use Daemon Tools to release the wonderful-ness that is Indigo Prophecy. I managed to do it, though, and it's been working well. My laptop's been kind of dying on me, so hopefully it will work better once I get my new harddrive. (I hope it was delivered to my house already!!!! I haven't called to ask my mom yet.... The guy didn't even email me like he said he would, so I'm kind of worried that he didn't ship it like he said he would.)

Anyone konw the program, Maya? Yeah, it sucks. =P

Right now, that old Disney movie, "Hocus Pocus" is on. I know it's not a great movie, but if I happen to catch it on, I can't help but watch it. (Sometimes.) It just brings back memories and reminds me of Halloween. The days when I could actually do something on Halloween. Although I did stop trick-or-treating like 7 years ago... But I still liked handing out candy to the little kids. Where we lived, not too much would happen, trick-or-treater-wise. I wished we had more kids come to our house, but I guess kids are lazy these days, so they don't want to climb up the hill to my house. (Hell, if I trick-or-treated, I probably wouldn't want to either...) I always thought we had pretty good candy, though...and we let kids have more than one piece!

Now that there are custom homes nearby, I was saying that before we look too old, someone in my family should figure out what kind of candy they give out!!! If they're rich enough to afford such fancy homes, surely they're rich enough to provide the neighborhood children with extra special goodies!!!

It's always so hard to get working when the weekend stars. I know already that the weekend goes by sooo fast, and yet I'm not able to force myself to work hard. I always think "Well, it's Friday night. I deserve a break!" And then after that, I think, "Well, I'll work in the afternoon on Saturday." And eventually it gets to, "Well, I still have all day tomorrow." Ugh. I can't think of anything that will make me work harder. Any suggestions? I think I have to some how change my way of thinking. I know my lack of work has affected me previously, but even if I tell myself I'll work harder after that, it really only lasts for a brief moment... I don't know what it'll take to straighten me out.

I hate it when my lip cracks!!! There's a split second when it happens where I'm like, "Craaappp!!!" Just like when I bite the inside of my mouth hard, I have this second where I wish I could go back in time and not do whatever I did that caused me to crack my lip. I know that when my lip cracks, within a week, it'll probably be perfectly fine. (Although, with biting the inside of my mouth, I usually get a canker sore...) But still.. I really hate knowing that my lip will probably crack again, because my lips will be dry, and I'll open my mouth wide without thinking about it. I also don't like that little scab that appears. It's something that I can't hide well. =\

Anyway, I've noticed on forums for games, that I'll have an easier time posting things in the offtopic section. Mainly, because if you comment on actual gameplay, people flame you easily if you don't put something they agree with. Sure, that can happen in other chats too, but I guess I'm more confident when I have a strong opinion on something...or know that I know a lot about something. I came across this thing called Yahoo!7 Answers. It's kind of like a forum in that you can post topics, and have people respond. But it's not necessarily on going. People post a question (any random question...even homework related) and then everyone has three days to answer. The question asker can choose which response they like the most, and that's how it works.

There's a point system... People who have just started get to only make 20 answers a day (it gives you 2 points per question you answer, and subtracts 5 points for a question you ask.) Eventually, you can get enough points so that you can post as many answers as you want. The points aren't for buying anything... They just are a way of trying to make sure people are legit. Otherwise you can get a billion people making stupid comments.

I like helping people out, and it's kind of cool to see when your answers have received a "favorite" answer. (You get 10 extra points for having a best answer.) People can also give a thumbs up or thumbs down. For some reason, a couple people have given me thumbs down on questions. I don't know why. Maybe they're anal. That kind of makes me sad, cause I think all my answers are alright. :P Sometimes people ask questions on things I think I might know a lot about, and that's when it's the most fun to answer, for me. Someone asked what turtles eat, so I gave my thorough answer. :)

Someone also asked something about "What year did you graduate high schooL? (Or what year will you graduate high school?)" Without thinking about the point system, I answered, and although I got a thumbs up, I didn't get a best answer. The person asking the question had graduated in 1996, and they marked someone else who graduated in 1996 as their favorite. =( I probably shouldn't have answered that question. It's too biased! So that's kind of my new thing. I'm still on level 1, but I'm only like 60? points away from level2. I just joined a couple days ago, and I didn't even answer the maximum number of questions for a level 1 person... It gets to be pretty damn distracting whenI have work to do though... :O

I've watched the video of Allison and Ivan from So You Think You Can Dance? on YouTube lately. I guess it's just cause I thought it was an interesting dance....one of the ones that really stood out from the show. I liked Benji's stuff, but I guess this dance was a dance from the other dancers that stood out.

Why do they have the less-attractive Asians on American tv? I think it gives the general public the assumption that all Asians do have slanty eyes. Those Sprite commercials weren't helping. Trying to take from those weird Japanese commercials. Anyway, I dunno. I just saw some commercial that had an Asian girl in it, and she was wearing some weird bikini-esque type thing and I don't know if it was make up or natural, but her eyes were totally Asian looking.

I haven't done anything for studio for tomorrow. I think I'll try to do that after The Simpsons. i also have tomorrow morning to work. I'll probably be waking up early and then going to CCA at around 08:30. My roommate likes to go early so we can get a good parking space. I guess she doesn't like taking out that extra 30 minutes later on so that she can sleep in. I would do that...except I'm not the one with the car. She would be able to sleep! We wouldn't have to leave till 11:15... Oh well. If I really wanted to, I could take the bus. Except I'd still probably have to leave arounde 10:30, which wouldn't be as worth it for me. An hour and a half of sitting on and waiting for the bus.

Unfortunately, this class ends at 7pm, so that means I have about four hours till "freedom." Thats usually an understatement, though, since class tends to go over anyway. It's kind of frustrating. But I guess it's good that the teachers show dedication. I just wish it didn't have to spill over into my free time. =\

I went out to lunch today. Maybe I shouldn't have since lunch = money, and I should be trying to save money instead of spend it. To make things worse, I went shopping yesterday, and the total bill afterwards was quite large. In general, I think I buy more than my roommate. Perhaps because I refuse to live off of ramen... But I guess I'm hoping that by shopping yesterday I won't have to shop anymore for a while. that's the plan at least. I hope it works out.

I made a trip over to this one street nearby that's very..Asian. Intimidating since most of the stores seem to be Chinese. The street isn't too far away but it's far enough so that you'd still want to take the bus, if it comes. I'm lucky that the street isn't very hill-y. If it was, i proabbly would've had a lot more trouble. I walked all the way there. (And stopped at a Wells Fargo) And then on the way back I managed to catch the bus. yay!

I'm worried that the Japanese stationery stores will no longer carry much Japanese stationery. Last weekend, I went to a store, and they had basically the same selection that they had when I had gone six months earlier. Very disappointing! My mom said it was just cause they probably didn't get a new shipment in, but no new shipment for six months? Okay, okay, so there were maybe a couple new designs, but they weren't all that great. For the most part, they were all the same. On top of that, there were some spots that were empty. A bad sign. I didn't get to check at two other stores I normally go to, so there is a possibility that the stationery there has been replenished. I can only hope.

I've been thinking about getting "The Simpsons" Season 6 on DVD, but the problem is that the packaging for that one season is different from all the rest. For some reason, they put seasons 6-8 in plastic boxes. I mean, the idea itself is alright, I guesss, since the boxes have character faces on them, but they're so different form seasons 1-5, and they're plastic! Luckily, seasons 7 and 8 have been packaged in both plastic and paper boxes, but I'd prefer them in paper. Anyway, season 6 only comes in plastic.... I'm wondering if I should leave a gap in my collection and get it at the end or get it now and send in for the paper box version. (There is a slip of paper that gives you the option of doing that inside the box.) What to do...

I need to learn how to be neater. It's not that I'm a sloppy person. It's just that I have a lot of clutter. With some things, I think I can use them for class, so I keep them. With other things, I end up just not feeling like putting the stuff away... So eventually, I guess more and more stuff collects.. Until my mom comes and cleans my apartment. =)

One thing I have come to realize: I don't especially like the weather in Daly City. Even though it's cool, so I don't have to worry about being hot during the summer (I prefer to be cold than hot) it's cloudy all the time. Kind of reminds me of how they say Seattle is always cloudy. I dunno. It's weird. San Francisco will be sunny more than Daly City... It's like...there this spot between San Francisco and San Bruno that just gets really cloudy/misty, regardless of what the weather is like anywhere else.

I'm pretty hungry, but my mom said she was going to bring lunch when she comes to pick me up. I'm not sure if she meant drive-thru or if she went ahead and made something for us. Either way, I don't want to go and ruin it by eating something before she gets here and not being hungry. I can hold out for 45 minutes! :D

Hm. Sometimes I get this thing where I'm not hungry, but I just want to eat something. Well, this'll happen sometimes if there's good food, and I just want more of everything. There are other times when I feel like snacking on something, yet I almost feel as though there's nothing around that will satisfy me. Earlier tonight, I was full, but I felt like having something sweet... So my brother said he'd eat something with me and we agreed to at 09:30.. But when 09:30 came around, I still wasn't hungry. I was pretty full... I ended up just finishing a soda that I had opened a couple days ago. (It was in a bottle, so it was still fizzy.)

I'm suddenly feeling tired... And I just realized that a couple days ago, I was trying to figure out what model laptop I have. I tried looking through my specs, and I couldn't find it....so then I looked through the confirmation email they sent me when I placed my order. Just now, I saw that it says the model near the power button... Hm.. Whoops.

Hm.. Sometimes people are just impossible to talk to.

I know a lot of people might prefer long hair over short hair. Actually, that might just be guys who prefer a certain type of hair on girls. I'm not quite sure, but I think I recall hearing of people who liked hair up, braids, and long hair? Anyway, personally for myself, I don't really have a preference. I probably would have tried a really really short cut by now if it didn't mean cutting off all my hair. I admit, I'd be pretty bothered if I cut my hair really short and it didn't look good. Yep, I can be vain.

The last time I went to the barber (I feel weird calling the guy who cuts my hair that, but that's what he is... Unless I say "Hair stylist" but he doesn't style my hair. Except for one dance I went to.) he cut it wrong. =\ I had only wanted him to trim the edges, to reduce the number of split ends I have, and to layer it so it wouldn't be too poofy. I told him to layer it 5" and then he told me that 5 inches is nothing, and suggested 7. I agreed, and then, when it was too late, I noticed he was cutting all my hair 7"... It wasn't horrendous. I mean, it was still well past my shoulders, but it's one of those things where you're kind of bothered cause it's not what you had wanted. Oh well. It's longer now.

Right now, my hair's still not as long as it was before that last hair cut. But I'd say it falls a few (maybe 3? Not sure) inches below my bra in the back. (Too much info?! Hm. Debatable, but come on. It's a well known fact that girls wear them.) Anyway, today, I plan to have maybe an inch cut off the bottom? Basically, what I had wanted the last time I got my hair cut. Hopefully it'll turn out alright. Perhaps you will hear more about it if I post tomorrow. Or later today.

After work, I'm hoping I can stop by Wells Fargo and then a Hallmark store so I can get money and then buy a couple "Thank You" cards for the people I've worked with. Well, actually, considering we work on teams here, I've worked with a lot of people. But just two cards, for the people who were kind of my mentors during my "stay" here. It would be awkward haneding cards, though, so I plan on leaving on in the mailbox, and the other on the desk. (One of them is on vacation now, so I don't know if it's "safe" to put it in her mailbox.) I'm not sure if I'll have enough time, though, so maybe I'll have to just stick to the bank and a haircut. I probably can make do with some cards I have around the house.

For some reason, this morning is going by more slowly than other mornings this week. Maybe it's cause I'm actually doing more work today...

I have decided to limit my QCup Pearl Tea intake. The bastards over there poisoned me or something, cause after I had their tea, I started getting a headache...and eventually, nausea, and nervousness. That kind of nervousness that isn't really caused by anything, but you get an uneasy feeling inside...making it hard to concentrate and sit still. I hate whoever made my tea.

Now I must be extremely careful as I move my head... If I turn my head too fast, I feel as though a headache could easily start. =(

I also felt like I didn't sleep well at night on some nights. Last night, even though I was at home in my own bed, didn't feel normal. =( I woke up several times during the night, and when I finally awoke at 11:00, I just felt like I was still sleepy, but couldn't fall back to sleep. I just hope that tonight, I'll be well-rested for tomorrow.

I don't like how games give you a weight limit. That makes it so that you have to sell stuff pretty fast, depending on what game it is. Some games give you an item number limit, while others make items a certain weight, and say you can only hold so much weight. It's hard to sell everything, since the easiest things to find are the things that everyone has an easy time finding. Then you reach that point where you can't really pick anything up because it weighs you down. I'm sure there have been many times when I've done something stupid just because I didn't have any space left in my inventory. I tend to go ahead and sell the thing I think is the cheapest or the most useless. Of course, even at that, the thing is probably worth at least 10k in the game.

I've really gotten behind on my writing this summer. I've written a total of like...four letters? Actually, maybe only three. A-HA! FOUR! Normally, I'd be writing letters left and right, but I guess this year, I've just gotten lazy. That and the fact that no one really writes back to me are the result of no letters being written by me. I have all this stationery and no one to write. Of course, my overabundance of stationery won't prevent me from getting more stationery that I think looks cute/pretty. I'm a stationery horder. Plus, I do still use it... It just happens to be a slow time for me right now.

There have been countless times whem someone will say something. And I can tell they're being sarcastic or making a joke.. (Although sometimes online, it's hard since a lot of sarcasm/jokes rely on tone of voice.) However, after saying the joke and seeing/hearing my response, they'll go, "...That was a joke." And I'll just smile or something, meanwhile thinking, "Yes, I know." There have even been times when I'll respond with a joke or sarcastic remark, and they'll take me seriously. Don't tell a joke if you can't take one in return! Come on, people! =�

I'm worried that I'll have bad joints when I'm older. I remember when I was younger, I couldn't really kneel on hard surfaces, cause my knees would get this weird pain in them. I'm not sure how to describe it. And then a couple years ago (or was it just last year?) I hit my knee on the metal thing that holds the glass shower door while getting into/out of the shower, and ever since then, my knee will make a popping noise sometimes, if I bend it in just the right way. (My jaw also pops, and started actually making a popping noise similar to cracking a knuckle...)

I know my mom has bad knees. I guess I kind of worry that it's slightly genetic. I hope it really doesn't affect me when I'm older. ...Getting old sounds painful, and I'd like as little pain as possible. And since this is the age of technology, who knows what the results of sitting in front of the computer day after day will be?

I got in to work late today, so I'm forced to stay till at least 07:00. Lately, I've been staying till 07:15, or 07:30, so yeah, I guess that's not too bad. The only bad thing will be if I end up having to stay proportionally late because I came in late. =( Doesn't sound like it, but you never know. I was thinking about trying to stop by some store that sells music on the way home, but I looked on amazon.com and found the CDs I want for a little cheaper. yeah, only like three cents a CD. BUT if I get two of them, it'll be $26.00, and if I get it at the store, it'll be at least $28! Exciting, no? =P Plus, I wouldn't have to pay for shipping, and that's always a plus. =) [Shipping is so damn expensive!!!]

Maybe it's from all that Cherry Coke... Hey, remember when the Cherry Coke cans used to look like this? Wow, that looks so '80's.

Haha, weird. (Apparently, there's a whole line of different ones...)

You know what was kind of sad? Or rather, pathetic of me? When I went to DisneyLand a couple of weeks ago, it was pretty hot. Pretty damn hot. As always, lots of people had those spritzer fans. (I bet Disney makes a fortune off those...) Every time I saw one, I kept thinking, "But in order for it to produce something cold, it also has to emit heat..." Yes, I am a nerd. =(

I'm actually pretty worried about my appointment. (I always am...) I don't want to get cavities. I have never had one yet, and I'm hoping to keep it that way for as long as possible, but every check up, I worry that I'll get a cavity... It's basically turned into a contest between my sister and me to see who can go on the longest without a cavity. ...Although maybe it's more on my side.. It's not something we talk about, it's just something I think to myself. Maybe she already lost, though, cause a year ago (or was it two??) she had something that had to be filled... Either way, I still don't want to have cavities....

I have to reluctantly admit that I wore the wrong shoes today. I know that I should wear comfy shoes to work... And I usually try to - especially if I'm tired. Even though I don't work on a construction site or anything, I do have to walk around a lot to give files...or ask questions...walk to the printer...and the copy machine.. (And the stapler, cause I don't have one.....) So over the course of one day, I walk quite a bit. I'm curious about how much I walk. People (my sister and Gene) tell me it's not much, but I still don't quite believe them. I deliver each file every time I'm done with one. I don't wait till they build up (like I used to). I know it's not going to be anything outrageous like 10 miles, but I'm sure it's more than just ooonne.

The shoes don't feel like they're giving me blisters... It's more like the material they're made out of wasn't carefully thought out.. (Either that, or the construction of the shoes...) The stuff is rubbing against my foot, and it's making it feel irritated. So I guess over the course of the day, my foot will be rubbed raw. =\ I was debating on whether or not to wear these shoes today, but I decided to because I don't wear them often and they matched more. I didn't think they would hurt this early on, though. Maybe my feet need to build up work-shoe-callouses. =P I guess I'll take it slow today...

I can't believe it's only 10:46. It feels like I've looked at the clock a billion times today. Already. Within the past 30 minutes. I thought it would be at least 11:00 by now. =( I try to make 10:30 the absolute earliest I eat a snack at... But I try to push it to 11:30, if I can. Depends on how hungry and bored I get. If I'm restless, I'll tend to keep thinking about my lunch and I'll end upe ating sooner than normal.

I got my paycheck today. Yay! I was supposed to get it last Friday, but since I didn't come in, they didn't deliver it to me. (I get the check at work. Not sent to me in the mail.) I really wonder how much it's for! Last time, the paycheck only covered a week, so it was less than normal. This time, it should be around 3x that much since they need to make up for that one week... Last week and this week are going to be less than normal since last week, I took a day off, and this week is only a three day week. Aw, that's going to suck. Less money. I wonder if I'll hit $1,000....

Okay, time to get back to work... And kill my feet...

So today is the equivalent of my Friday. Yes, I'm happy about it. Earlier today, I came in with barely anything to do...and my supervisor was gone on top of that. I was worried that the day would pass by slowly. Then around 11:40-something, the attendance email was sent out. It says who will be absent and who will cover, and stuff. So I looked, and her name was on there. Except it just said "Out in the AM" so I was wondering when she would come back. I was dropping something off in her office, and I heard "Keiko!" and I turned around, and she was back! Hooray! It's weird...that made me feel so happy. Haha...

This whole day, I've been thinking about getting a soda from the fridge. (They have free sodas. Want one? :P ) I'm very tempted because I'm thirsty, and I forgot my water...plus, a soda would hit the spot. But at the same time, I keep thinking about how I can't remember the last time I had a glass of milk, so I feel guilty about it. Plus, I'm sure this weekend, I'll have my fill of bad things. Soda...fatty foods... (I'll be in Disneyland!) So I'm not sure if I should drink the soda. I figure I'll have a diet soda, so that won't be so bad. Just some carbs and caffeine.

I've discovered that I drink soda, not so much for the taste but the fizziness. And the slight sweetness. I really don't care if I have a diet or a regular soda. Or if it's caffeine free or not. (Never really affects me anyway. Only makes me have to use the bathroom more. But that's with coffee and tea. Not soda.) But see - I don't like carbonated water. That stuff's nasty. So I guess the taste matters a bit. But lots of people will say certain sodas are gross or diet sodas are nasty...but I think they're all basically fine. (With the exception of energy drinks. I haven't had one, so I can't really say...)

I wish I had fruit in my lunch today. I totally forgot I had apples in my lunch yesterday. Weird. But today, I have carrots. Carrot day. I guess I should eat them. Help my eyes? And possibly make me orange if I eat too many.. :P

I want to finish this sandwich before the lady who I share this office with comes back from her lunch. I don't want it to smell like sandwich. She might not like that. (Although she does eat fruit in here, so maybe she won't care?) Anyway, i usually eat with mys siter, but today, she's out to lunch with her boyfriend, so I'll eat at my desk. =P No biggie. Plus I can surf the net at the same time. The problem is that who knows where this keyboard has been. (Just looking at it is pretty gross..) But there are worse things, right?....RIGHT!? :P

I'll get off at 06:00 and then have to wait an hour for my sister. That's not too bad. About four more hours from now. And on top of that, I get half an hour more of break. so 3�. Yayy! =)

Last night, I went to my aunt and uncle's anniversary dinner. It was pretty good. Not bad for a buffet. It's a place I wouldn't mind going again... But of course, if I had a craving for a certain kind of food and wanted it to be the best quality, I wouldn't choose that place. But for a buffet, I thought it was good. Then again I guess I don't have too much to compare it to since I haven't been to many buffets. I just remember going to one in Las Vegas...but I don't remember it so well. I don't even know what Casino it was at.

Why is it that so many buffets serve Chinese food? Maybe it's a good industry or something? Chinese buffets.. I guess as far as high quality Japanese food goes, it would be a damn expensive buffet to serve sashimi or anything like that. (aww, too bad..) Plus, ordering raw fresh fish in bulk probably would be risky, if people don't eat it all that day. I've heard about those hot pot places. I wanted to say hot pot buffets, but I don't really know if they are buffets. I think I heard that some of them are all you can eat, so I guess they are? I still would like to go to one of those places. Not alone of course (the people speaking in Chinese would be too intimidating) but with friends or family or smoething. Hot pots are good. =)

I'm still waiting to get a file back. A lady asked for it yesterday. That's understandable. Lots of the times, petitions are filed at the same time, so there will be multiple people working on one case. But it sucks cause the folders of that case get spread out over the office. Yesterday, a lady asked for the entire file of this one guy. I gave it to her. She never gave it back. I really need it back so I can do MY part of it (it still needs to be finalized) but I can't if I don't get it back. PLUS, yesterday, an attorney who reviewed my draft said I should make a different cover, so I needed to do that. Except last night, I couldn't remember which case it was. I looked through the only two I have that it could be, and it was neither. I was worried that it was one I already filed, but then remembered the case I gave to that one lady. I don't know if it's that case for sure, but it looks like it... I hope it is. Cause if it's not that one, then it's one that I sent, and I made a boo boo.

I tried looking in her cube, and it wasn't there, so I'm guessing she passed it on to someone else? Or maybe she's working on it with someone else? Not sure, but either way, I took a peek to see if I could find it so I could at least check to see if it was the one I need to change....And I didn't see it. =*( If she doesn't give it back today, I'll email her.

The drawback is that most buffets really aren't that great. Since it has a little of everything and is all you can eat, the quality of food is really lacking. Lots of people (mainly guys?) like going to Todai.. Sure, the idea of unlimited sushi is great, but I don't think it's worth the money. I can get full off the same price from a higher quality Japanese restaurant. (And in San Mateo, there's a place with all you can eat sushi for lunch for $11.95, and that place is pretty damn good.)

I'm already feeling hungry. Damnit, look what I've done. The lady who supervises me (I wouldn't necessarily call it supervise, though.. Maybe more like my mentor?) is out today. She dropped by earlier with her son. He was following her, but he was smaller than the desk (and my stack of files which was on it) so I couldn't really get a good look at him. If he was cute, I would've wanted to see him. If not...eh, no biggie. There were bells on the door knob, and he was all playing with them and she told him to stop it. =P It was pretty loud.

Working with all this paper really dries out my hands. It sucks. I sometimes bring lotion to work so I can moisturize my hands. I don't know if it really helps since I'm constantly dealing with paper. At least it's not the oily kind. I really don't like how the oily kind makes your hands slippery and stuff. If it was a life-or-death situation, and I was hanging outside the window, the oily lotion would make me lose my grip and fall to my bloody death.

Speaking of falling to death, sadly, did you hear about that kid who fell off the ferris wheel in San Joaquin? 50 foot drop... Witnesses said the kid was alone, and looked scared. He was only 6. It sounds like he was maybe trying to get out? Kids don't have the mental capacity to think about where they'd go after they did get out, or what could happen if they fall... Supposedly, the boy's father was calling to the ride operator to stop the ride.... I don't know, though. It sounds as though the man should have known his child well enough to not let him go on alone. OR should have GONE ON WITH HIM. I don't get what parent would say "okay go on by yourself" to ANY ride, except one of those really kiddy ones. (Like something at Disneyland) The kinds that are MEANT for little kids, so tehre's no space for the parent. Actually, even the Dumbo ride has space for a parent to tag along.

My mom brought up the issue of: Who is to blame: the parent or the ride operator? I said the parent. Sure, the ride operator maybe wasn't supposed to let a single child on, but in my opinion, he's probably taught just to follow the rules he's given. Kid has to be taller than the line on stick. The end. He's not taught to measure the mental capacities of his riders or anything. The parent on the other hand, should know their child well enoguh to know if he/she can handle such a ride. Or at least go on with the kid. REALLY. What parent lets their six year-old kid ride on a ride alone?

Hang your head in shame.

It's been almost a year since I've put that picture up. Actually...maybe not quite. I put it up late... But it was of my brother's birthday party, and this is the weekend of the party. Yes, for me, that means cooking. =|

I feel really hungry rightn ow. I already snacked on part of my lunch. Then I looked to see what kind of sandwich I'd have, and BOO, it's not a sandwich! It's cottage cheese with fruit. I like it, but it's hard to have just that in place of a sandwich. I still appreciate my mom's effort. And actually feel bad that she's probably thinking, "Hm. This should be enough." when it's not. I'll eat it. Just not only that. I need something else. I feel the need for warm food.

I told my sister, and now she's disappointing, and thinking about going out to eat. I want chicken teriyaki, cause for some reason, I just feel like havnig that, but she made a face, so I said it doesn't have to be that. That's just what came to mind. Plus, it's cheap and can be found easily. I think she's asking around to see what other people feel like having.

Bad news on the office situation. It turns out that the girl who was quitting quitting. So now I'm wondering where I'll be put. I really don't want to be in a room with three other people... I liked having my own space. And I think I'll definitely need shelf space of some sort, so I can put files there. It's not like I have a million, but I do have enough so that I need extra space for them. I think that girl decided to stay just to spite me! =P

I hope lunch is somewhere good. Or someTHING good. And cheap.

I got my first paycheck yesterday. It was only covering one week though. Boo. I calculated, and my next pay check should be five weeks of work. damn! Actually, maybe not five weeks. Because if I GET the paycheck during the fifth week, they're not going to include that in the check. Eh, nevermind, I don't quite get how they do things, so I really have no idea.

There are some problems with being here, though. The armrests no the chair aren't quite as comfortable. They're too high up, so if I want to use the mouse, the armrest gets in the way. I guess it was made for taller people. =\ The other problem is that it's not my space. I don't think they had planned on having me come here, because there isn't really space for my stuff. Since it's someone else's office (she's on vacation) all her stuff is filling the office, and I really don't want to move it because I don't want to be accused of something being missing or misplaced.

I don't like using the photo copier that's really close because I know that people can stare at my butt while I make my copies. Makes me feel too self-conscious. =X Yes, perhaps it's arrogant to think that people actually care enough to stare, but someone actually had made a joke out of it, so I don't want to risk having my butt critiqued in their minds. It has sensitive feelings.

I'm glad tomorrow is Friday. =) Time to relax over the weekend. Although, my mom told me that she has "a lot" for us to do this weekend. =( That doesn't sound too fun. She wants us to clean up. I just hope it doesn't take too long. I had some stuff planned, and I hope that it works out. I still have to figure out the details, though. Saturday or Sunday? Morning or afternoon? I don't think I have much of a choice as far as morning/afternoon goes, though. Sounds like both mornings will have stuff going on. =\ I had asked my mom about this weekend, and she said she didn't know if I could use the car. Originally, she had said I could do something on one of the days, but once she found out I wanted to take the car, that changed. =(

I am a stationery addict.

Anyhow, I shall log off, cause this computer's slow and it takes a while to shut down.

These days I've had a lot on my mind. Nothing particularly fantastic or horrible. Just a lot of stuff I think about. I guess most of the time, I think about it cause I worry about it.. (Or, in some cases, worry about forgetting it) but so far it's been a sort of low-level worrying, so I hope it stays that way. I know I tend to be pretty laid back about some things that I should really worry abuot more... I don't know. I guess countless hours of school have turned me into an indifferent beast.

Everyone has some sort of bad habit. Of course, some are worse than others. But does everyone have a bad habit they'd consider worse than all their other habits? ...I'm not going to count procrastination right now, because that's something that a lot of people seem to do, and thinking about it, it seems too big a habit to quit. =\ I think that would take years for me. I wonder what it would take for me to just stop. I don't necessarily want something to happen because I think it would probably end up being something really bad... Maybe work is a good thing for me.. Makes me have to do certain things...and wake up at certain times.

I'm glad this week is short... But I just hope that doesn't mean that next week will feel long. I remember sometimes, after a three or four-day weekend, the following week would feel sooo long because I wasn't used to having the normal school week. I guess it's not as much like that anymore. But I always remember things being like that.

I also remember there being a lot of projects due right before some sort of break. (Winter braeak, Spring Break, or even just a four day weekend.) I have a tendency to dread those deadlines, because those are the ones that are usually bigger. So I'll end up thinking, "Man, in order to get to the weekend, I have to finish this...." And it sucks, cause the task will feel like it's a really big thing that I can't quite fathom completing. =(

Mixing up names and memories feels insulting.

The girl behind me uses AIM, and I don't know how she got it. My guess is that it was already on the computer when she started working, or she downloaded it herself. I really don't want to get caught with something like that on my computer, even though it would mean killing some time. These days, there's always people monitoring what employees do on the computers, so I don't want to be one of the people caught doing something I'm not supposed to be doing. For all I know, sure, it's okay to download just simple instant messenging programs, but hell, since I don't know, I'm not going to do it.

The last form I filled out took be a bit longer to do than usual. They use Adobe to fill out forms. Works pretty nicely... And my Adobe happened to crash. =O Yes, it kind of sucked cause I was in this hazy sort of state. One of those times where I felt I was in a dream. I really just wanted to go home... And then, as I was listening to music, somehow I got a burst of energy. Maybe not a burst. More like...slightly re-energized. So I got motivated to type at a regular pace, instead of the 50 WPM I was doing befoer. (Maybe even slower.)

I really didn't mind Adobe crashing on me too much, though. I knew I wouldn't have much to do after I finished that form, so I was trying to take my time. Then, when Adobe crashed, I got to kill a bit more time. Whee... Now I'm awiting for my supervisor (I really don't know what else to call her...) to give me some more work. She said it would take about five minutes.

My eyes feel especially weird today. I'm not sure why. =\ Could be the combination of not being used to wearing contacts (I didn't wear them much during the school year) and the wind, lights, and sleepiness. Yes, working makes me sleepy. I never realized how tiring it is to work from 08:30 to 06:00 with only an hour for lunch. I don't know...Maybe it's the routine that gets tiring. I'm forced to sleep at 11:30 (or around there) so that I can get up without too much trouble at 06:30am. Although, I might push that back a bit farther. ;)

I still say that school sucks though. This might leave me phsyically tired, but at least I know that at the end of the day, I can go home without worrying about having to do anything until the next day, when I get to work. I also know that my weekends are free. I know that whenever I get a real job, I might not always have my weekends free, but it seems as though most of the time, most people get their weekends off, so that's another plus. And with work (or at least most jobs?) you don't have to pull all-nighters. Nor are you expected to.

OO I just thought of something else! For classes, they expect you attend all four hours of class, and they can spend that time doing what they want with you... They mgiht or might not give you time to work on your projects. And then once you get out of class, you're still expected to dedicate the necessary time to get it done. Class time is just THEIR time. And then outside of class is MY time to do what they assign. (I guess that was just a branch off of what I said in the previous paragraph...)

I just did something weird to my ear and I guess I pinched a nerve or something cause it really hurt. :*( Haha, and it sucked, cause my supervisor was talking to me and I had to mask the pain. I think I did an okay job of that. Now, I have somethign else to do, so I will go ahead and do that. (She says it gives me a chance to be "creative" and that scares me.) ---It's like a paper. And papers aren't fun.

The Radio Plays Our Song, We Don't Hestitate To Sing Along
05.24.06
10:20am
Well..I'm just a-sitting here at my desk at work. I'm not sure what to do. (Yes, bad, I know.) I came in at 08:30am or so...I did the files that were left on my desk. I finished them...gave them to my supervisor lady. But by the time I finished them (09:30?) she still wasn't here. I wasn't sure what to do... So I looked over them....and double checked to make sure that I had as few errors as possible. Yes, I'm one of those people who tends to make the small mistakes. (I remember in elementary and middle school, my mom would get mad at me for making stupid mistakes. Things I could've easily avoided..) I've never really been one to double-check my stuff... Too tiring. =P

Anyway, so I called my sister and asked her what I should do. She said my supervisor was out sick.. Except she said, "Oh wait...Her son is sick..." (Either way, she's been coughing a lot lately..) She said I should see this other Attorney, Emily, or, as a last resort, go to get work from my sister. So I saw Emily. She gave me a file to finalize. I did that. I guess once that's done, I'll have to put it in the mail...but until it's done, I have nothing to do. I'm looking over a different file....kind of checking it. But I can only do that for so long. I guess soon I shall go to my sister to ask her for stuff to do. The only problem with that is I think she's working on stuff that I don't know how to do. That means I'd have to have someone teach me... =\

...And then if I make mistakes while trying to get the hang of it, I could end up driving my sister crazy. (more so than I already do.) I guess I'll go to her in a bit. Once I'm done looking over this file....And typing this. =P

Alright, I shouldn't spend too much time on here. I'll go for now.

I have decided that to make things a bit more interesting, I will try to update more frequently, BUT the catch is that I will rotate what I update. I have a Xanga, LiveJournal, MySpace (which isn't really anything, so blah), and this. Yes, crazy. Yet I want to keep up with all of them because not everyone knows all of the blogs. So, regardless of how often I update, or what I feel like typing, I will rotate which thing I update. =) Tah-dah, problem solved! I hope. =)

Yes, my Chatterbox is dead. It bothers me... But I don't know what to do about it. I don't really feel like trying to keep another one up.. But at the same time, I want to know if anyone is still keeping up with this site. I don't have the link in my info anymore, but I think I'll put it back up there, because people seemed to read it when I had the link. =) ...plus, sometimes people are just bored and they check infos. Hm. Yes, that is what I will do.

I geuss I'll end this here since it's already almost 11:10, and I want to sleep around 11:30. Good night & wish me luck tomorrow!

When someone comes to me with something serious, the main thing I try to do is understand what's going on, and then try to feel their feelings on the situation. Of course, if the situation is less serious, I am less prone to doing this and I'll tend to play devil's advocate sometimes. Don't ask me why...It's something I do. Not sure when or why I started doing it... But I guess it's cause I know it's not good to assume the first logical thing that pops into your head...and to give the "underdog" a chance to justify their reasons behind why they might have done something stupid.

However, there are the occasional times when something more serious pops up... And I know that I can't fully comprehend what the other person is feeling. I really try to put myself in their shoes and kind of think about how it must feel for them. Yet I know it's impossible since everyone has a different history and even people who might have similar ones will end up different because they don't live the exact same life, and they think differently. All I feel I can do is listen, try and understand... And, in the meantime, try to think of what I would want to hear...or what could possibly make the situation a little better for the person.

I am also attempting to see if I can put up a thingy saying whether Lightside/Legends Ragnarok Online is up or not. I figured out the source...I just don't know if it'll work completely. =\ That is all I have to say for now.

If I don't get there today, I'll have to get there tomorrow morning...cause they close at 05:00, so I probably won't get out in time. (The teacher does let us out early, but not early enough so that I can GET to the planning department...)

Other than that, that's about it. Last week, my sociology class had a review for the midterm. The midterm's not till next week, though, so I'm not sure why he gave us the review so far in advance.

The manager of my apartment gave us a new doorknob. I really wish he'd just change the door, though. Since it's already been broken in half-way, doesn't that mean that if someone were to try and break in again, it would be easier? Or maybe i'm wrong. Who knows. He might replace it though. I don't like how the key looked when I got it. It looked like it had been used a lot. All that hand oil and stuff. I'm sure it's not any less dirty than my other keys...it just looks dirty because of the color. (This one's copper. My old one is silver. I like silver.)

Crap. I might need to buy archiCAD. My mom's not going to like that...

I think I've been eating a lot of sweet things lately. =\ Not good for my pearly whites. And randomly, I'll get coughing attacks. It's weird cause I haven't been too sick lately...so I'm not sure what's causing it. Maybe I should see a doctor. I had a pin up today for studio, and I got two or three coughing attacks during it. The first one, I thought I'd see if it would subside if I held it in. After about ten seconds I realized that the need to cough was growing and if I didn't cough voluntarily, I'd end up coughing really loud. So I coughed. That led to more coughing but eventually it went away. (yay...)

During break, I bought a drink cause I thought if I had more coughing attacks, drinking something would help. I'm not sure if it did or not, but I didn't have any more coughing attacks. Yay! ...What really sucks is when I have them in the middle of the night. It's happened to me at least three times within the past week. Since I'm lying in bed, I don't have water on hand, and I don't really feel like getting up so I'll cough a bit (while worrying that my coughs are too loud) and then hold it in until it subsides. I've found that's been working for me.

I'm going to attempt to do at least one hour of studio work a day. Doesn't sound like too much of a challenge [yet]. It might get hard when I have other things due, but I guess I can make exceptions sometimes and not do one hour if I have something big due for another class. We'll see how well my plan works. (Providing I can even keep it up.)

I had something on my pants, but I tried scratching it off, and it came right off. I wonder what it was...

I have that song by Aqualung in my head right now. It's kind of weird. I heard of the band name before I even heard of the song. I don't even quite not how I had heard of it...or why I was paying attention for that matter. I do admit that I like the song, though. It's pleasant. I can imagine getting tired of it though... And I'm not sure how good it would be to listen to the whole CD. I picture it all to be about that tempo and sound... So kind of all the same. And in this case that's disappointing. In other cases, where a band has a great song, but the other songs on the CD sound NOTHING like that song, I get disappointed.

I haven't written in my journal in a while. (I think.) I'll try to remember to write in it today some time.

...The weekends go by so quickly. It sucks. I was just thinking about it, and before I know it, tomorrow will be over...and I can never fully enjoy Sundays knowing that there's school the next day. I just know that I can't stay up late...or completely relax cause I have the dark cloud that is school looming over my head. I can't even fully enjoy my Fridays because even though I rejoice once class is over, I get out so late that by the time I get back and eat and stuff, it's already a relatively late time to do anything. I'm not much of a party person anyway, but still. It sucks to know that the night is no longer young. Compared to how late I know I can stay up, sure it is... But I don't want to have to rely on staying up crazily late only to waste half of Saturday sleeping in.

Saturday nights are a different story, though. I feel it's more okayto stay up late cause I have Sunday to recuperate. I guess that doesn't really make any sense. And it probably should be Friday nights where I stay up late cause then I have Saturday to recuperate and then Sundays to work or...finish recuperating? Heh. Whatever, weekends should be longer! I don't get a spring break this year. Last year was the only year where CCA and USF spring breaks aligned. ...It's almost like that thing in Hercules, where the planets aligned.

Hm. I'm not sure how long I've been on the computer, but I guess I should probably get off soon. i'll be off by 06:00.. And back to studio to attempt to work.

It's only Tuesday. "The Office" has basically become my way of measuring time. I always think, "Oh, what day is it? Is there anything on tv?" And then I realize it's only Monday or Tuesday, and become incredibly disappointed. I don't think today should be too bad class-wise. ...So once today is over, I'll only have two days till "The Office" as well as FRIDAY! =P I'm worried we'll have a quiz soon on our readings for sociology, but I'm not especially behind, so hopefully that won't be too bad.

I bought two copies of all my sociology books. First, I bought them on Amazon and then when I found out we needed them really soon, I bought them at the school book store. The books didn't fully come till yesterday, so now I have two extra books. (or wait...ONE extra book.) Two of them came last week, so I was able to return them to the school store with a full refund. Woo! ..I felt like I was making money. =p Now I have one extra book, so I"m thinking about selling it online somehow. I just hope that will work. I don't want to sell it for cheaper than I paid because I haven't even USED that book yet. *grr* If you're interested in a Down to Earth Sociology book by James M. Henslin, message me! :P (You know you want it!)

I just saw pictures from my roommate's firm that she works for. The images are SO pretty! :D Very clean looking and shiny. That's the kind of stuff I want to design. So dreamyyy!! But they only have three things up on their site, so it's kind of disappointing, cause I want to see more!!! I'm greeeedy! I want to go to those places some time. I know I can't, cause they're homes, but still.. I want to! One of the things I always think about as I'm walking on the streets is how much I want to see the insides of a lot of the houses/apartments. I know they're a lot bigger than they seem on the outside. And there isn't as much track housing here, so I'm sure it would be interesting.

Last year, my mom, sister, and I went to see an open house down the street from my old apartment. In the midst of moving my stuff, we took the time out to see the place. It looked average size, but it actually had three bedrooms and was really nice on the inside. =) I forget the details, but I believe it had hardwood floors. Mm-mm good. I think it was pretty damn expensive (of course, it's San Francisco...) but yeah....nice for a couple starting out. Or a three-person family.

Right now, I'm in class. Well, it's class TIME, but I'm in the computer lab because I'm looking up stuff on this one building. So far, I've only found minimal information on it. :( Not good. I wonder if maybe I"m looking it up in the wrong way or something.

I can only stay here for another 45 minutes before I should leave. There's supposed to be a class in here at 04:00... But between 03:00 and 04:00, the lab's free. Yay. =\ I tried going to the lab where anyone can use it any time, but it was pretty full. I can't wait till I get a laptop. Then I can just use it in class instead of having to move around to the labs. Everything at my fingertips. Plus, I've already noticed that everyone in my class has one, so I need to get on top of things. The reason why everyone is supposed to have a laptop is cause if we all go to the labs, then the teachers have to chase us down. That wastes desk critique time and is just harder on the teachers..

I talked to my mom about my laptop, and she basically said I should just choose the one I want and then tell her and I guess we'll go through it together. Time to re-research the laptop info. It should be between 1500 and 1650...Including tax, I guess? I'm not sure.

I'm at CCA right now, waiting for class. My roommate and I got here early because parking's been hard lately. They really restricted the areas where we can park, so people who have early classes end up luckier than the rest of us. (Bastards!) Getting here at 09:20 wasn't even all that early, either! :( There were a lot of cars already, so we had to park half a block away. No, it doesn't sound far, but the building is a long building, so it's farther than just a couple steps. For now, we're killing time. She's looking up pictures and I'm...doing this. Before this, I finished the homework that was due today. I stayed up a bit last night doing it, but I probably could've done about half of it right now instead of wasting my valuable sleeping time. :(

Later today, I'll have my first USF class. I wonder how that will go. I'm not especially looking forward to it. The teacher sounded like he'd be kind of picky since he requested a book for us to get. I still haven't gotten any of the books for that class. I don't really want to order them all and have them all come at once cause then I might not be here to receive them. ...THEN I'll have to go to the post office and pick them up, which is a hassle. I might not have any other choice, though. Three of the books, I can get through the school, but one of them I have to buy myself. Boo! I might buy them all online cause I can find books cheaper that way sometimes. I'd buy it here, on the school computer, but I kind of worry about how safe that might be...so I guess I'll just wait till 12:00 or so, when I get home. (Class gets out at 11:30, I think.)

Uh oh...Mr. Tummy's pretty hungry. It's starting to hurt right now. Hopefully not from hunger cause then it won't go away on its own.

I'm feeling pretty hungry right now, but I'm waiting for some water to boil. I'm also debating on taking a shower before class instead of after. Which is better... Hm... Eh, I'll take it later. Right now it's already 01:38 and I have to be in class by 03:00... That doesn't leave me much time. I'll probably be working in the computer labs today because we're supposed to be working on our powerpoint presentations. I don't have my laptop yet....so I can't work at my desk. That reminds me - I wanted to talk to my mom about when/how I should get it. Cause I always asked about it and she'd answer my questions, but we wouldn't really jump on the actual purchasing of it. I know it's a big investment, but I think everyone in my studio has their laptops so... :*( Sad me.

Why is it that when you tell people to call you back, they don't seem to actually do it? When I tell people to call me back (like if I leave a message on a voicemail) then I mean it. I don't mean, "Oh hey...if you feel like it, call me back." I mean, "Please. call me back when you GET this." It seems like no one ever really understands what I mean. Is it because of that whole thing where if someone actually does call back, it means that they're desperate? I've never interpreted it as that. I'm always just thankful when someone calls me back, because it is such a rare occasion when that happens.

And oh shit, I just realized that I was supposed to call someone today and I didn't. Now it's 12:30, and I'm not close enough to them to call them this late, so I believe I'll just have to wait till tomorrow. :X (Not good, I know.) At least tomorrow is Saturday, so I can call all day. Whee. :P

This morning, a guy called about a leak in my apartment. He started off by calling me my roommate's name. I was very tempted to just hang up and say, "No, this isn't her. Sorry." but I stayed on. Even though the guy was the one who got the numbers and names wrong, he talked to me as though I was the stupid one. He first asked about the leak and asked how it was doing. I said I really don't know since I haven't been to the apartment since mid-December. I told him my roommate has been there, but I haven't talked to her in a while. He then told me that he tried getting a hold of her, but wasn't able to reach her and asked me if I could reach her. I told him that I could try calling her, but if she doesn't pick up or if I can't get through, there is no way I can contact her. And he just persisted saying that I need to reach her. He just went in circles saying this, along with how it's very important.

Maybe what made me a bit bothered with him was that he woke me up. Yes, it was valid that he could call me cause I was sleeping in. But it's not pleasant to be woken up in a way that makes you feel as though you're stupid. I wouldn't have minded so much if he just talked to me as though I was a competent person. On top of that, my apartment manager called me THREE times within five minutes. The first time, I didn't pick up because it was a blocked number. The second time she called, I was on the phone with the annoying man...and I didn't even hear the third time she called..but apparently it was within the seven minute window when I was on the phone with him. She left me a message. Meh. No offense to her, but her voice isn't especially pleasant, and I just didn't want to talk to her.

I'll have my roommate call. She's the one who's been there more recently anyway.

I guess over the years, I've kind of given up on making resolutions for the new year. Mainly because I can never keep them up.. After the first day, all the days just seem to feel the same, and it doesn't really feel like a fresh start. I feel more like it's a fresh start when a new semester of school begins. =�

Anyway, I still will make small resolutions to myself just little side notes of things I'd like to improve about myself. One that might be impossible: Mary Lou told me about this girl on Xanga who is "perfect." She's 24, I think? But she has interesting entries, types with GOOD grammar (that's a big plus), is pretty, does interesting things, has a job, has a boyfriend. (Yes, I shall spread the legend further!) I think it would be nice to be one of those people... Where everyone thinks you're this great person.

In general, I try to make my goals reachable. There's really no point in making a resolution that you don't think you can keep. So far they are: To be more studious (biig one.).. To write in my journal more. (I have lately, but that's probably because I'm on break. I'm sure there is a way to fit it in with school...) Hm. That's actually all that comes to mind for now. Oo, take more pictures! I always regret not taking enough pictures. :*( I'll probably think of more things later, but for now, that's what I've come up with.

Two people have wished me a happy new year. I kind of hoped more people might remember me, but I know that it's hard when everyone has their own plans and not too many people are at their computers. =� It's really weird to see the date on my computer as 1/1/2006. JANUARY 1st ALREADY!? =O

And for about a month, I'll have to get into the groove of writing the year correctly. There will be random times when my mind wanders off throughout the year when I'm writing the date. Just to fill something in, I'll just write the first year the comes to mind. I'll end up with dates like September 1, 1992...

My throat is starting to feel more sore. Maybe I need cough drops. =\ Sometimes fizzy stuff soothes slightly sore throats. Right now it's not too bad. I could try that. I took Robitussin at about 12:00.. Hopefully that will kick in soon. I think last time it took about an hour for me to notice the affects. �

This is my first night ever in San Jose, at home, without either of my parents here. Weird huh? I bet lots of people have spent nights without their parents there.. But my parents never had a reason to really leave us at home. This year, my sister and I weren't feeling too well. I thought I'd still be going to my grandparents' house, but I guess not. My sister and I ended up staying home. We usually go to their house, spend the night, and then go to my aunt's house the next day. I'm not sure if I'll be going to my aunt's house tomorrow. I guess it really all depends on how I feel. If I feel how I feel now, there's a high chance that I won't go.

I admit that I don't feel horrible. I've felt worse before. But when my nose is all stuffy and my throat is kind of sore, that makes me not really feel like going out much. My nose gets stuffy to the point where I really can't breathe. And then my head will start feeling really congested from all the pressure. -_- And, of course, along with that comes the loss of hearing. There will be a few glorious moments where my ears will pop and all will be well. =)

I haven't heard of any people having major parties this year... Although I guess that wouldn't matter much anyway, since I wouldn't be up for going... But usually I hear about something going on... Maybe people got tired of all the preparing. =P

Anyway, I guess this will be it for now. Have a Happy New Year, everyone. =)

It's funny. You should see it. =P

Well, I'm almost done with my Christmas shopping! =) I just have to find something for my dad. Every year, it gets harder and harder for me to tell which friends I should give something to... I basically now just give things to people who have given things to me in recent years.... Is it sad that it is now narrowed down to three poeple? :( (Excluding Gene.)

I'm the kind of person who would really want to give everyone gifts. The only problem is money. I admit, I don't have money spilling out of my pockets. And although I will have some money left over after my Christmas shopping, I choose not to spend it mainly because I have learned to be thrifty. There is a point where you should just stop spending money on people who don't give you things because it doesn't make sense financially. (Unless it's a charity of some sort. Man, once you start donating to charities, they just don't stop sending you address labels....)

Anyway, my mom always seems to have doubts about me giving stuff to my friends for Christmas now. I guess it's cause I'll give things and not receive in return...and although it's the time of year for giving, it actually ends up being a "waste" of money. (Especially if it happens year after year.) Last year I gave gifts to hm. four friends. I think I got stuff from two in return. (Maybe only one? I kind of forget.) This year, I've given birthday gifts to some people who did not give me anything... And to me, the most disappointing thing is that they didn't even seem to remember my birthday.. =\

Anyway, as of now, I have gifts for three friends. Sure, they're small, but they're gifts nonetheless. I am debating on actually asking the people if they would like to exchange gifts...or just waiting and seeing if they give me anything.. I still haven't decided. We will see. Aside from that, I have sent out cards. Just to the people I've talked to quite a bit, who have been there for me, or who have remembered to send me cards in the past.

Hm. This entry seems scrooge-ish. -_-

I haven't caught many episodes of "Saved By The Bell." That's one show I used to watch a lot. Hm.. I also wonder what happened to "Out Of This World." :D

The site I normally would download windows themes from now forces its users to also install a billion toolbars and ad-related things. It really makes me dislike downloading anything from their site. Previously, they only made users install one or two additional things, but now it's up to four. Well, at least four. I didn't continue after that. I find it ridiculous. Normally, I would go and uninstall everything they made me add, but this is just too much. I'm too lazy to go back and delete everything.

The end.

And apparently, they caught it on video???

Hm. Another exception might be Valentine's. People give out candy all the time for that. Usually Chocolate. But see, Halloween is the holiday for all candies, big and small. Chocolate and fruity. White and black. Christmas is the minty candy holiday. =P Sometimes you just don't quite feel like having minty candy. Candy canes start to get kind of..bad when they're older. All chewy...and sticky. Bleh! It sucks when you get too many candy canes. I used to save them all and think, "I'll eat them all. I won't let them go to waste!" But that can be nearly impossible if you get a lot. I mean, I like mint enough. Mint ice cream is good. Mints are good. But after a while, you just get tired of candy canes. [Or is it just me?] Gotta have some variation.

Next holiday: Thanksgiving. No candy there. But plenty of turkey! Kind of wish it was Thanksgiving now.. :( Good food.

So I'm waiting for my turn to talk to the teacher. Today, we're having individual meetings with him. i'm kind of worried, cuz i'm pretty sure he'll somehow say I'm behind. But the reason is cuz I joined the class late. So I missed three entire classes. I'm sure the first one wasn't too big. Just getting acquainted and letting us know what's expected of us. I really just missed two, I guess. I guess I've taken a while to actually start casting..and that's cuz I've noticed that with my work, I usually think a lot before actually doing. I guess that's kind of bad. Cuz I don't really experiment. I just kind of keep pushing ideas out of my head till something sounds like it will definitely work...and then I do it.

But in architecture...or actually, I guess in art, a lot of stuff is based on experimenting. Sometimes you get mistakes, and they can give you ideas...or turn out better than what you had actually planned. Ask any teacher - they'll tell you that. I've had people tell me before, but I guess I just have a hard time with it. I don't like messy work. Yeah, that's bad too. I don't know if it's the Asian in my or actual genetics from my parents, but I don't like it when stuff comes out sloppy. I want it to be crisp and neat. But art's not like that. I guess I just have to get my hands dirty...literally. One kind of big problem is cost... This class deals a lot with casting things... I've seen them pour metal. It's cool :D But when I do things at my apartment, I have to pay for them myself. At least the plaster at school is free... I really dont' want to have to pay a lot for things that turn out to be a waste. (Yes, not all accidents are happy..) So that's where my dilemma lies. Not only in myself, but in finance. I try not to let that get in my way, but hey...it's reality. You can't acquire the supplies without the money. And even if you have it, you can't live on nothing. And i'm pretty sure the stores won't accept my finished artwork as payment.

Collateral at the most.
Unless it looks like trash to them.

But hey, one man's trash is another man's treasure? =\

So I have about 50 minutes until I''m going to check to see if my teacher's ready to talk to me yet. I hope he is. I want to go asap. I know it's bad to think of class that way, but I'm sure that's how everyone thinks of it. Even if a class is interesting, it's still work cuz it's under the title of "class." Unless they can somehow start calling (and disguising it as) gaming, I doubt my views will end up changing....and I doubt I'd stop looking at my watch. [other acceptable terms would be: eating, sleeping, talking, IMing...]

I might get a new laptop soon. Yay! I'm not sure what brand to get though. Everyone jokes about Dells being crappy, but that's what my family gets. So far the last computer that my mom bought works really well. I go home, and it makes me realize how crappy my computer is. It makes me sad. My computer's doing alright. I did have to change the harddrive once. And on my own, I changed the fans, video card, and CD-RW drive. (I think that's all I did to it..) But everything else is working fine. The stuff I changed (with the exception of the harddrive) was voluntary. Okay, the actual hardware sucked cuz it was during that technology boom. So every week something way better came out. But that's technology's fault. Not mine.

I blame the smart asians.

My roommate had an HP. One day it started smoking, though, and ended up dying. I'm not sure how old it was beforehand, but it was sometime last year, so I think it was at least two and a half years old. Gene has an HP too and it seems to work fine. I don't know about everyone else out there. Opinions? Suggestions?

I could get an apple (cuz I work a lot with design) but the problem with that is cost. I need to stay under $1700 (inlcuding tax) or else I'm going to have to pay the difference. And I really don't want to do that. I get poorer day by day. Should I just screw the laptop and get like 4 iPods? :P

Well, I guess this is enough for now. I can't think of anything else to type now. Aaaactually, I could, but it would end up being babble. (Kind of like how this is starting to get.) So before this turns into complete randomness, I shall end it.

(Gets up off floor and dusts self off)
Good day to you.
(walks out of room)

:D

I went home this past weekend for my cousins' birthday party. Hm..it was alright. I must admit, though....I think we make better food. :� I always did think we had the best party food.... :) I'm not saying the food was bad. Just...made me miss the food we would make for parties. I made sure I ate a lot of meat. While I'm at school, I usually don't really eat much meat..cuz I end up eating/making things that can hold for a while. Lots of pastas.. :P And rice. ;) Too many carbs? :X

Today we went to the DeYoung Museum. It just opened on Friday or Saturday, i think, so they were having this thing where you dont' have to pay to get in. The only problem is that there was a loong line. And it was hot. For San Francisco. So we stood in line. And...it didn't take TOO long, but we only had around 40 minutes to look around before the museum closed. not bad for free, though.

Then we got Burger King and ate it at my apartment. And that was it. :)

I realize that not all people take religion to that extent but I have known people who do that...and it's just sad that they feel it's their way or no way. This is the kind of thing that starts wars. Feeling that your race is superior.... There is no greater ethnicity than your own...

So when it comes down to it, it can make or break things... I guess the real question is - will you let it?

We'll see who's put on the back shelf... I have an idea of who it will be...

But we signed the papers and stuff, so I will officially be moving out. I'm not sure when, exactly, but soon I think. Yay! If you write to me or have my old address and would like to update it to my new address, IM me at Katsuke182 and i'll tell you. (Which reminds me - I should find out what my new address will be...haha)

I am 90% sure ...hm. Make that 95% sure that I'm allergic to something in my apartment. Maybe even 99%? Anyway I've lived here a little over a year, and nothing was wrong. I would go about my merry business. Maybe get sick, but who doesn't get sick. But ever since I moved back for this school year, my nose will get stuffy/runny when I'm in my apartment. I won't even be doing anything. Sometimes I end up feeling pretty damn crappy.

You might think "well, maybe it's the air... Or allergies." I've never really had allergies before. But also - the weather changed. It's no longer hot here. It's cloudy...cold.. Almost wintery. So I highly doubt that allergies would kick in. I think all my friends who have allergies only really experience them in spring/summer...when it's warmer. ...Plus, when I left for the weekend to go home, I was fiiiine.

In addition, my roommate's friend has been staying for free for almost four months now. (No, she's not paying for rent. No, she's not paying for utilities, and No she's not cleaning. So what does she do? Hell if I know...) So with the extra person, I don't think that's helping. I think either they're using some sort of product that they didn't use before that's making like this....or it's mold. My roommate always buys food and forgets it's hers or just forgets to eat it and so it ends up getting really really moldy. I admit occasionally that happens to me too, but not as much, and not to the same extent. So, yes last year, there was moldy food in the fridge and stuff, but it wasn't TOOOOOO bad. But ever since summer, there's been more moldy stuff around because she has now made herself a partygirl. So she's always going out. Always talking about guys. (Even though she has a boyfriend. And hell, I feel sorry for the poor bastard....and any guy who might like her actually, cuz I don't think they realize what she's really like..) So I think maybe it's the mold.

This morning, at 09:00, I woke up because I couldn't breathe. So now this stuff is interfering with my own personal.....agenda. And it really shouldn't be. It's one of those things where it's now disturbing my rest, and it's also making me distracted. I can't completely concentrate on anything else because I feel crappy and cuz with my nose being runny, it's always in the back of my mind that I need a tissue...

As far as moving goes, we applied to two places. One place was apparently rented even before we submitted our applications. The lady who we talked to didn't even know it was rented out already. And then the other place said that the manager was already making his decision when we turned ours in.. BUT realtor lady called us today and we got the place. I just need my mom to see it. And then i guess after that we'll make our decision. Yes, moving's a hassle. And yes, it will be more expensive.. But what if the new roommate ends up being irresponsible and stuff?.. Unpredictable.

I came back to my apartment on Monday to no internet, no tv. Comcast turned off our service. And then we got the tv last night. But we still didn't have the internet. And then today we got the internet. Hooray... Haha So now I can actually research apartments and stuff. And instead of sending my mom the application (to cosign) in the mail, I can just scan it and send it to her via email. :D
Ah internet...sweet internet.

Most of the places I've been looking at are one bedroom apartments around $1100.. We're trying to find a place close to USF with a parking spot.. It's hard though. Most places really close to USF. Plus the apartment has to have a certain feel to it. There are some places that feel old and cold, and I don't know if it's just me or what, but it just doesn't feel like a place I'd be able to call "home." My roommate has been looking at places around 21st avenue, which is around 25+ blocks from USF. I guess she figures that she has a car so it doesn't really matter... But the thing is that I don't have a car, and even though I can leech rides off of her, there will be times when I know I'll have to go by myself and can't depend on her to take me... And those are the times that are making me think that I don't want the place to be too far from school.

I guess since we're looking for a place that has a garage for HER car, she should also be looking for a place that's close for MY lack of one. It's hard to find a happy medium, but I"m sure it's possible.

Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be going on a vacation next week. This is a bad time for this.. Maybe I shouldn't go.

Vince called me today. It was a nice surprise. We talked for a while but I had to remember that it was later over there cuz of the different time zones. I'd call him more if the time zones weren't so different. :(

I also talked to Gene for a second, but he said he'd call me back. We'll see if that actually happens.

I mowed the front yard today. Tiring. -_-
I was also supposed to iron but I never got around to it..

I saw the doctor again for my three month check up, except it was more like two months. He said everything looked fine and that it was probably viral. Still dont' know what it was. The lady bruised me on Monday when she took blood from me.. It's not as bad as last time, but my mom was saying maybe I bruise easily, but I never thought I did before....

You know how if you live with people, it's courteous to let them know maybe six months in advance if you're going to be moving out? ..Cuz that gives them time to think about what they want to do... Do they want to find another roommate or look for a new place? And then once they decide, they have time to FIND a new place or a new roommate.
Or so you'd think...

My roommate just informed me at the end of last week that our other roommate is planning on moving out. So I asked when and she said she didn't know yet. They didn't know details but apparently the girl is planning on living with some guy. Boyfriend/friend/ex-boyfriend. Hell if i know. So then i just found out tonight that she's planning on moving out next month. So I have less than a month to find out if I need a new roommate or if I need to move. If I move, then I have less than three weeks to move because I don't think moving during school would be very smart.

ANother thing that makes this hard is that nothing seems definite. She didn't know WHEN she was moving at all originally. And then now she THINKS it'll be next month. What if we find a new place and she hasn't found one yet? That's going to suck for her, but at this point, should I really care? She's basically screwing us over and not caring about it. And as far as I know she's not even trying to help us get a new roommate. GOod riddance.

ANd over summer, she had her friend stay over for free. Soooo....it's like right before she screws us over, she wants to make our lives more miserable by sticking us with some stranger that will take up more space, the bathroom, and use utilities without paying for a THING.

Now, my shameless plea for help... If you or anyone you know of needs an apartment for the school year, please contact me via email or IM. email: kkomafo@gmail.com IM: katsuke182 i'd put up my phone number, but that's kind of risky.. Email's probably the best way to contact me since I don't know how much I'll be able to be online.

I should be sleeping, I guess since I have to wake up at 05:45am.. At least that's when I told myself I'd wake up by cuz we're leaving at 06:15am...

I've been playing GUildWars a bit more than usual since that's the only game I have here. I just switched over to Air/Domination magic, and it's not going as smoothly as planned... Yes, I'm disappointed. I think I was better with Air/Illusion Magic.. ::sigh:: I might switch back cuz I still have the equips.

One of the gastroenterologists I saw called today randomly to check up on me. Strange. Heh.

And I went out with my sister to find a birthday present for my mom and a belated present for my brother. ...I still need $10.00-ish more for my mom. I hope I can find something.

Oakridge now has Gelato. It's pretty good. I got some when I was out with my sister today

I want some sort of iced coffee drink

I sent out the rent today. yayyy... (Yay, more money being taken...) But I almost put it off till tomorrow cuz I was feeling so lazy..but then I thought that the mailman comes to that mailbox at 10:00am and if I missed that, it wouldn't get picked up till Thursday, and then i dunno...it just wouldn't get there till later than I'd want it to, so I sent it out today. Yay for meeeee. :P

I'm back in San Francisco for now...
Hm.... I just heard this song and it sounds as though I already have it.
My roommates are so loud. Well, one of them is. The other one got an architecture job for the summer. Damn her!! Ugh. I'm jealous cuz I've been trying and I haven't gotten anything so far. She didn't even really try and she got something. ::sigh:: No fair! ::pouts:: Shes getting paid $10/hour. I ...am getting paid $15/hour for helping type out stuff for my professor, but I didn't work on it at all today cuz I just got back today.

I'll definitely work tomorrow.

I want to play GuildWars but I know it'll be all slow on my computer. ::sigh:: I really just wish I could bring the family computer back with me. So nice.. ::dreams:: Oh i just remembered something I need to look up. I guess I"ll do that now.

I started feeling kind of stressed out today. It sucks.

Anyway, so I got out the cleaner and paper towels. I finished off one roll, and moved on to start using another. Unfortunately, I've been the one to buy the paper towels around here. No one else seems to care as much about paper towels. I'd venture to say that we all pay for the same amount of stuff around here, but that would be wrong. I think I pay for the most, honestly. I brought a whole bunch of stuff that everyone uses and on top of that, I bought the Swiffer Wet Jet, Paper Towels, Swiffer refills, SOME toilet paper (but I'm hiding that for when my roommate "refuses" to buy it cuz she "bought too much" already. Hah. Doesn't she realize that you kind of HAVE to use toilet paper?? I mean we're not guys. We can't "shake it off."), lamps, tv... Anyway, so now I'm feeling kind of yucky from cleaning. And I also don't feel so good in my head cuz I think I inhaled too much cleaner.

And just from being up all night, my eyes are tired.

I scrubbed at the sink (I dont know HOW, but it looked like there was toothpaste all over. Don't they know that if you can still see globs of toothpaste when you spit, that means you didn't brush enougH? Reminds me of my brother.). There was also what looked like spots of FOAM as if someone spit WITH the toothpaste in their mouth.. So it was all white and dried. That's all over the place. On the faucet...on the shelf above the sink, and on the mirror above the sink. HOW CAN YOU NOT SPIT IN THE SINK. I know you can't control every drop that comes from your mouth but come ON. It looked like that person spit ALL OVER. Plus, if you see you made that kind of mess, dont you clean it up right after? Like "oops, I didn't mean to spit all over"?

So after that, I cleaned the toilet. yes, the toilet. The worst job of all. Anyone want to lick my hands? :) I cleaned it with paper towels and the lysol spray thingy. I even cleaned inside the goddamn bowl. ::shudder:: I'll never be the same again. I also cleaned the tank and stuff. And I cleaned parts of the floor that LOOKED dirty. I know that the rest of it probably is dirty as well, but I'm not about to go on my hands and knees and clean the whole floor, you know.

I wiped some of the tiles inthe shower. I don't know why/how, but it looks liek brown stuff. It wasn't there before I left...so I don't know. It almost seems as though once I leave, they make it a point to be messy knowing that I'm not here to keep anyone in check. Then I also quickly wipes some tiles in the hallway because they were noticeably dirty AND they were sticky before. I dont' know how that happens. I'm guessing someone spilled something. In the living room, it almost looks like someone had something drippy and they jsut walked across the room with it dripping. ::sigh:: UUUUGH. So after that, I emptied the trash by my desk, my recycle, and the trash in the bathroom. I had tried to wipe off the screen on my monitor, but that didn't go too well, cuz I can see smudges. -_-

I was going to throw out the kitchen trash, but most of it's not mine, and hell, i'll be gone this weekend. let someone else take it out. And on that note, my cleaning story ends.

Yes I know I sound anal. But really, I"m not. My area in the apartment is surprisingly messy for someone who sounds like a neat freak. It's cuz my mess is contained. "Orderly." It's not SLOPPY/FILTHY. There's a difference. I might be messy, but I'm not a slob. I don't leave messes and let them sit there and expect someone else to come and wipe them up. I don't spit all over the fucking bathroom and just let it dry. And yes, I buy toilet paper so my roommates don't have to wipe themselves with their hands. I'd say I do my fair share. Is it really so hard to just clean up after a mess you've made? Or to be kind of neat so that the apartment stays cleaner a little longer? Yes, longer than a DAY. And even at that, the apartment is never completely clean. Occsionally, I'll go around and clean the hell out of one place. (Mainly the kitchen, bathroom, or hallway. Notice: all the PUBLIC places that EVERYONE uses. Why? Cuz my roommate's a slob.) So since I'm the only one who seems to do that, only one place at a time will be really clean. And I'd go around and clean the whole goddamn place, but I'm only one person and I get tired of cleaning. And just..physically tired. Cleaning can take a lot out of you.

And I'm hungry now. I was thinking about sleeping, but I have to leave this dump by 11:00, so I don't know if it's worth it anymore. I was planning on waking up at 10:00, but if I do that now, I'll get....oh hey, I'll get two hours. I thought I'd only get one. Well, that changes everything.

*Note* I don't get why my roommate leaves the tv on when it's obvious I'm not watching it. Or she'll turn it on/leave it on, and go away. And then come back and watch. Then go away. Then walk by....stop for a second to look at the tv...change the channel to something she likes, put the remote down, and walk away. ..If you're going to control it, watch it. If you don't want to watch it, turn it off. That's why the tv has been on since like 3 or 4...without anyone watching it. Cuz I don't really watch it since I don't really get a say in what's being watched. But I WILL control it when I can. /endrant.

I should eat. And should seem awake when my mom comes, so she doesn't think I stayed up all night. ..She'd probably accuse me of playing games. I only played them will 06:00.... :P

Hey - if you play any of the following games or on any of the following servers, tell me. We'll play some time:
Xenophase - Ragnarok Frontier
Animaro
AvRO
GuildWars
GunBound
CS (maybe I'll pick it up again and try to get better)
Graffiti (always up for that ;)
There are a couple others, but they're not multiplayer.
Oh, maybe Soldat. I haven't started yet, though.

And if you have a ventrilo server that you wouldn't mind sharing, hook me up. I was kicked out of the last one for no reason. I had even donated to help the server out...and someone who wasn't an admin, but had admin properties kicked me with the reason being: "Sorry, but goodbye." I did nothing wrong. But I lost some friends because of that. Cuz the people on the server were mutual friends, but since the person didn't want me on the server, he kicked me, not realizing that by doing that, he wasn't thinking about the relationships I'd developed with the people there. I only talk to one of them now. Thanks a lot for killing some friendships. Must feel good, huh?

Also if you have a teamspeak server, that works too. I have both...but I'm more used to vent and I heard it's better. Oo - and if you have ICQ tell me too.

The End.

If you play GuildWars, tell me. I'll add you! :) It's weird. I played on a 56K at home..and it was fine. The computer at home is way better than what I have though. So then here, I don't like playing as much cuz it's harder to play cuz of laggyness. My computer sometimes makes me sad. I need to get a better one.

My professor found me another possible internship. The only problem is that it's in the east bay. That would require hella...commuting. I'd have to ride ont he bart, and figure out how east bay transit works. I don't know if it's in Oakland or if it's in Berkeley. But it's definitely not in San Francisco.. -_- My professor told me to apply as soon as possible, but I don't know if I really want to cuz I don't have a way to get there. If anyone wants to drive me daily I'd appreciate it. Haha
bus driver: sure i'll drive you for $1.25 a trip.

cherries are yummy.

My RF is now screwed up cuz I tried to play on a differnet server. my friend was trying to get me to help him, so I tried, and ended up screwing up my files. Damnit. Time to go redownload/reinstall....

Anyway, so I spent a billion hours studying for my final. I think I did that for nothing, cuz the stuff on the final was so arbitrary from the readings that I might as well just have winged it. -_- I don't know, oh well. At least I can feel good about having read the stuff? :\ Not really. I could have at least spent it doing something more fun.

I've also been typing stuff up for my professor. I typed up three of the ten things he gave me. They're longer than I expected them to take. But at least I'm going to get paid for doing this. :D I didn't even expect it, but when I had met with him on Friday, he said something about not being sure how to pay me. If it should just be a flat rate, or if he should pay by the hour. :P I didn't even expect it. I thought I was just doing this for "fun." :P I'm supposed to type 25 of these up total. Damn! And he wanted most of it done this week. I don't know if that's going to happen, sir. Even though I can type relatively fast (75-95 WPM or so?) I need a break every now and then just to get away from staring at paper. I basically just look at the paper while typing whatever I read. And then afterwards, I go back and read what I typed, and change any errors I come across. I hope I don't have too many, cuz then my professor might regret letting me help him...and if he happened not to catch my errors, it would look bad if the book were actually published with all the typos... :(

Anyway, I'm taking my break now. I have so far worked only 1 hour and 41 minutes or so. Yeah, yeah, I'm a wuss. But that's how I am with a lot of things. Even reading for fun.. I always just end up feeling like I need a break after just a little bit. It doesnt have to be a long break, but I just have to put the book down and look away from it. I'll end up looking around the room...staring off into space for a couple seconds or a couple minutes, and then I'll go back to reading. I think it's the same with this. Typing isn't so hard or anything. I just need a break from it to...get away.

Plus my back kind of hurts from leaning over. ;)

And it makes my eyes tired. Staring at the screen. Staring at the paper. Concentrating on the letters...

Alright, back to worky.

Well, yes, I've been away for a while. Busy with other things, and I haven't been online as much since I'm at home. ...THat means I can only go online at night, if I go online at all. I admit, though, that I've been online moreso the past few days. I'll come on around 10:00pm and then stay on for a bit.

I haven't had much luck finding a summer internship. I gave my resume and cover letter to one firm, but they're going to take around two weeks to go over it, and thats a long time. That will already be the middle of june!!! Crazy. So maybe they're looking for a more permanent spot. That would be cool if I got it...but then I can't help but wonder what I would do if school came... Cuz then I dont' know if I can handle doing two things.. I have a hard enough time keeping up with just school as it is. I will have less class time next semester though. But the thing about that is that doesn't necessarily mean that I'll have less projects and work to do.

In order to graduate, I need a certain amount of internship hours. (I don't know quite how to go about logging those hours..) I just know that it's supposed to be a paid internship. On top of that, I need three years of interning after I've graduated in order to take the licensing test for architecture. My my how complicated. -_-

Anyway, I have another appointment with a gastroenterologist this Tuesday... And then as of now, I'm planning on taking my Ethics final (finally) next Monday. The teacher said that she'll send it to me at a certain time, and then two and a half hours later, I'll have to send it back to her. She said that SUndays or Mondays work better for her.. SO I'm aiming for next Monday. We'll see, though, I guess.

I also have an appointment to meet up with an gastroenterologist on Monday in San Francisco. All the ones in San Jose are busy till June, and my mom says that I can't really wait till June, so since the one in San Francisco is free on Monday, I am scheduled to see him. I wonder why he's free.... :| Anyway, so I'll be heading back to the City on Monday. hooray? I doubt I'll be staying there, though, unless the doctor miraculously says that I'm 100% okay. I wonder if I'll have to have more blood taken. The first time, when they took my blood in San Francisco, it felt normal, but it left a big bruise. ...So the last two times, they've been taking it from my other arm. It's still bruised. Man, what did that lady DO to it???

Meanwhile, the Giants have been doing not-so-hot, and that makes us all sad. :( Boo. What's wrong with them?!

I just want to know what's wrong with me! Agh, I gotta go. Good luck on finals, everyone.

On the way home,I was listening to some music, and I really liked the lyrics to this one song even though they didn't really pertain to anything. Well, it's always been a song I've liked. And I've actually always liked the lyrics. I just feel like posting them though. :)
I wanted to tell you what it was
But I was afraid.
I wanted to tell you it was love
But I was ashamed .
I wanted to know,
I wanted to see,
I wanted the same as anyone.
But all that you love,
And all that you need
Is more than could come from anyone

And the worst part is having no idea
Yeah, the worst part is having no idea
Yeah, the worst part is having no idea she said to me

I wanted to tell her everything
But then it was gone as soon as it came.
How did it change?
What did you see?
And did I just get it wrong?

Cuz the worst part is having no idea
Yeah, the worst part is having no idea
Yeah the worst part is having no idea
Yeah the worst part is having no idea

The worst part is having no idea
The worst part is having no idea
The worst part is having no idea
The worst part is having no idea

And I don�t know what to tell you
Cuz I don�t know what you think
If it means a thing to you
Then I hope that you come through
Because the worst part is having no idea

Alright, Done. Hahaha Well, I almost have a normal day of classes tomorrow. I have to wake up at 09:00 for my ethics class, and then after that, I think I'm going to go out to lunch with a couple people for my friend's birthday. It was actually last Saturday, but we were working on a group project....so I guess tomorrow we're kind of making it up to her. --Wait, does that mean I have to pay for her share of lunch? Damn, nevermind. hahah ;)

I bought GuildWars online. I'm eagerly awaiting its arrival. I hope I'm here when the mailman comes, though, or I'll have to either pick it up, wait the next day, or have my roommate sign for it. I already left a note on the fridge saying to sign for a package if one should come... That's better than if no one was here. Then I'd have to wait till the next day and when it comes to things like that, I get really impatient. ::cries::

Alright, I'm going to go clean some more :D

I finally am done with studio for this semester. However, I have run into a problem..and that is - I totally slacked off in ethics, and I think the teacher actually cares. -_- Boo.

I'm hungry right now.

I'll tell you the story of my day.

This morning, I was up till 06:00-something am. I was supposed to be at CCA by 10:00am, so I guess I figured another all-nighter wouldn't hurt. But then when I did that, I ended up getting bored!
*oh damn. I'm going to go back and say other stuff*

Okay yesterday I had my final critique for studio. YAY! I was the fourth person to go. The critique went better than I thought it would, I guess. I was pretty scared this time. But it was weird cuz even though I was like, "aaah!" I didn't feel too scared or stressed. Either I'm used to it by now....or maybe I've just grown numb to the anxiety.

Anyway, I sat around for the rest of the critiques.. Tried to listen, but sometimes I'd end up kind of dozing off, so I'd start writing or doing something, attempting to keep myself awake. One of the critics for the second half of the critique was one of my professors from last semester. I had fallen asleep, and I kind of woke up and I looked at him and he happened to be looking at me. And he knew I was sleeping. Aah! haha, but he just smiled at me. Kinda laughing. I guess he knew that I was really tired. :)

Then later, he was asking me how I did, since he didn't see my critique. I said I did alright, and he was like, "I'm sure you did well." And stuff. :) How nice. I liked him. Maybe I should ask him about interning. Or if he has any ideas on where I can get one. ;)

Anyway, right when my class was wrapping up, the FIRE ALARM RANG. That happened last spring semester, too. Ugh, why!? So after that, we went back in and then I left and took the bus back to my apartment. I had to take the bus there, too. that kind of sucks, cuz I had to carry my stuff on the bus, and I was running behind schedule. But I got there and back in one piece. :)

Once I got back it was weird. I didn't know what to do! I didn't really feel like playing Ragnarok for some reason. ::gasp!:: So I just kind of sat around. Heh. And then later, when I started to play, I would start falling asleep. :X (Sorry if you're one of the people I fell asleep on..)

I would keep getting second winds, though and so I ended up staying up til 06:00 as I said before. I woke up at 09:20am and then my roommate and I went off to CCA to meet up with our group for our Materials & Methods final project. One of my group members had estimated the project would take two to three hours. A-HAHAHAH!!! No, we started at likw 11:00am since they had to get the wood for it. I spent that hour talking to my mom. :) aww :*) And then we got started and worked from 11:00am till 05:45pm straight. no breaks. Well, a couple people took breaks. I was not one of those people. Unless you call going to the bathroom a break.

We basically built this thing that acts as a nightstand, but can be used as "stairs" as well. like if you need to reach something high, you can pull out the drawers, and step on them, cuz there's this piece that slides out that you can step on. :) I should've taken a picture of it, but I kind of just wanted to get out of there. I had been at CCA too much on Friday, and I was also tired of working, so the last thing I wanted to do was be at school. We got back a little before 06:00pm...and hm. I guess I made dinner at that time. It was a little early for me, but I hadn't eaten all day. :P

And now I'm hungry again. :*(

Anyway, for anyone who knows of Acceptance, check out their new video for "Different". It's a quicktime file.

Back to work. "More wooork?" ;)

Yes, I'm a couch hog. Although, if someone really wanted to sleep out here (why, I don't know.) then they could sleep on the recliner. Or if they didn't like that, I could take the recliner. It's pretty damn comfy.

Alright, I'm going to finish eating.

In case you didn't know, or don't know me well, I've been talking about going to the Warped Tour for the past three years or so. So I think this year, I'll actually try to go. (Haha, more talk, huh?) Well, hopefully this year, it'll HAPPEN! :D Every time i look at the list of bands, I seem to know most of them. I think that's a sign. The Warped Tour is calling me!!! Time to answer the call!! :�

I registered for my USF classes this morning. I had registered for CCA's last week, and today was the day for USF. my schedule class-wise doesn't sound like I'll have as much class...which is nice. I won't end at 07:00 every day, and I won't haev to wake up early every single day. For those of you that want to stalk me, I shall post up my schedule.

Monday:
09:00am-10:30am Building Technology
03:00pm-07:00pm Advanced Studio
Tuesday:
01:30pm-03:15pm Philosophy of Education
Wednesday:
03:00pm-07:00pm Advanced Studio
Thursday:
08:00am-11:00am Codes and Specs
01:30pm-03:15pm Philosophy of Education
Friday:
09:00am-10:30am Building Technology
03:00pm-07:00pm Advanced Studio

There you go. yay! Looks like Tuesdays and Wednesdays are going to be my light days. Poo, I don't awnt to have to wake up at 07:00am on Mondays and Fridays, but better than this semester, I think. This semester, I have to wake up early on Mondays through Thursdays, and then Fridays I get to sleep in. Plus I get out at 07;00 every day. Ugh!

Ooo, my friend said he's sending me a package in the mail. I"m so curious what it'll be. Except he said it wouldn' tbe sent till tomorrow, so I'll probably get it Thursday or Friday. We shall see. In the meantime, I will have to work work work. To EARN that package. Heh, no. Just so I can have work done for tomorrow. :( It's mainly drawing. But I've realized that the final critique is coming up really soon so I should really get to working on it. Aaah.....

I had a critique with my teacher yesterday. It went better than I thought it would, luckily. Unfortunately, I still have a lot of work ahead of me. I plan on working on it tonight and probably tomorrow. I also need to do my Ethics homework. I really don't care much for that class cuz it seems to ask for a lot. Maybe the reason I dislike it is cuz it takes up so much time when I feel I have so little time to begin with in the first place. And I'm supposed to be dedicating that time to architecture, and Ethics just eats it up.

I'm still sick. It's mainly just my throat. It's in the process of getting better (or so it feels) but I need to make sure that it doesn't get worse. It definitely still feels not too great when I swallow. And whenever I cough, they sound like little feeble coughs just cuz I'm scared that if I actually cough, I'll end up hurting it more. I don't know.. :P This time, it didn't feel like my throat really hurt all that much..which is nice. Usually when I get sore throats, they seem to hurt a LOT.

The day is young. Let us dance!

My apartment is a mess. Cuz whenever I get busy, I don't really take the time to clean up my messes. Don't worry, it's not TOO messy. It's just paper and scraps. No, not unsanitary. Well, actually, I'm sure it is to some extent...but not the....same unsanitary-ness that i'm thinking of. ;)

A guy with a strong accent just called from my roommate. Oo la la, sexyyyy. Haha, just kidding. It's just some guy from her work. Her boss? I don't know. But He said a bunch of stuff..then said to have her call back as soon as possible. I left her a note...just saying "Guy with a strong accent called from Mervyns. Call back a.s.a.p." ...Hopefully, he'll reiterate whatever it was that he had said to me. :T

Denis IMed me today. Weeeeeiiiiird! WHAT DOES HE WANT?? grrrr. haha, just kidding. Hm....it's cool talking to him again. It's been a while. I remember towards the end of senior year, he and I would talk relatively often. That was cool..hm..wonder how we got to talking. ;=P Well, doesn't matter I suppose. It's cool that we're kind of in contact after three years....Two and a half years. Something like that. :�

I still haven't eaten. And actually, it's no longer 08:38. It's 09:58... Hehhh.. :X Yes, time flies when you're not working. But it also flies when you are working. And when you have something due. Alright, I told myself I'd work at 10:00....so first I will eat. Then I will work on my work. :) Today is ethics night. haha... Hopefully I'll get all of my ethics homework done. Then after that, I can work on my third year review...and my studio project. We're supposed to be working on our studio stuff, but I don't knowwww I just don't know how to start on that. Well, we'll see how far I get, I suppose. :) Whoa, I just realized they haven't given us a new assignment sheet. I wonder if it's cuz they expect us to just keep working, and it's past the point where we need assignment sheets. Or if it's just cuz they didn't have too much in mind for us to do over break... Probably not the latter. Maybe they just realized that it would be useless to have one cuz we'd be working on third year reviews and resting :P

~Well, I don't mean to piss you off with things I might say
But when I try to shut my mouth it comes out anyway
So when I speak my mind, that's when we connect
Yea, but that's not politically correct

Your heads so filled with thought, you can't use your imagination
Like a sky so filled with stars, you can't find a constellation
And everyone's so sensitive to any bad vibration
You're so impressing while we're regressing

Cause I don't mean to piss you off with things I might say
And when I try to shut my mouth they come out anyway.

There's nothing I believe in more then my own insignificance
So why does everybody think my words can make a difference
I just don't have time to think up every social consequence
Just keep on talking you keep applauding

I am currently: doing nothing. hah. I promised myself I'd start doing some work on my third year review, but I have yet to even touch anythign relating to it. Yeah I just kinda need some time off from it. But I also need to check my CCA email account to see what they really want. Cuz I heard we were sent something. Doh. I just remembered something. I doubt my roommate is asleep...so I'm thinking about calling. But then again it IS almost 11:00..... Hm... Or I could just try to call tomorrow. But I'd want to wait till after 09:00pm so I don't use daytime minutes. Ehh Maybe I'll just call now. ::hears ringing::

Okay so her voicemail picked up. Boooo.. :( I left a message. (It was letting her know that the rent's due and telling her to remind our other roommate.) I hope she checks her voicemail...and that she listens to what I said cuz if they don't have the rent ready by the time I come back, I don't think we'll be able to make rent for next month.

Our roommate is in charge or paying the comcast bill. Well, we pay her back, but she's in charge of telling us when and what to pay....and she hasn't told us anythign since February 12th.. UMMMM...that's over a month. Last time the bill was $7.00 more than normal. Whatever happens it's fine as long as 1) my credit's not messed up and 2) she doesn't charge us for any late charges. Cuz I think that's unfair. I already handle the rent and the phone bill. My other roommate handles PG&E...

::SIGH!!::

Another thing I'm currently missing is my photo album. Well, it's not really an album. Just a book of photos I have of my friends. I swear I left it at home, cuz in the past, I haven't really looked at it all that much. But I've looked everywhere possible here, and it's nowhere. My mom is convinced I took it with me when I went back after winter break. I remember after SUMMER break, I thought I didn't want to take it cuz I wouldn't look at it. ...But I really don't remember if I took it with me after winter break.... I don't see why I would have?

Right now, I'm thinking it IS at school.. I just don't know where it would be cuz I didn't see it there...as far as I recall. I'm just worried that I'll get back to my apartment and find that it's not there... Then I'll have to wait a while again before I can look at it at home. I get kind of impatient sometimes. Heh. And it's just really bothering me cuz I feel as though I should know where it is, but I really have no idea. Where could it be?! ..Yeah I don't like it when I lose things. ...It eats away at me. :(

So yes, to answer questions, I'm at school still. -_- And yes to answer more quesitons, I'm tired as hell. Yes I saw that typo. No, I don't care.

Hm...My nose is runny. It sometimes gets like that when I stay up really late. Or....of course, when I'm sick. -_- Let's hope it's not the latter. heh. I''m pretty sure it's just cuz i'm here late. And I haven't really eaten. And ...yeah things like that. i wanna eat, but in order to eat, I need to go home. And if I go home, I might wanna sleep. It's like that "if you give a mouse a cookie" story.

12:03PM.... um..I just realized that I've had this window open while my laptop was on sleep. HAHA.. Well, I'm just gonna let it update now. Heh.. I went home to sleep at 05:40am and then slept from 06:00-10:30 and then woke up and ate and now i'm' back.

~Every promise that you broke will be the words you choke on~

Right now I'm in Lab A at CCA, and I'm just waiting for class to start. I just remembered that I shoudl check my email. I haven't been as good about checking it lately.. Or so I feel. I check my gmail email often, but I guess I don't check my Juno account that much cuz my mom tried sendng me email and it bounced back. *Whoops* Well, she knows my gmail one now, so it shouldn't be a problem.

You know, sometimes life would be a lot easier if we had something to just point us in the "right" direction. One of the reasons why life seems so hard is because of the decisions we have to make. We know that they're OUR actions. And that we're determining what's going to happen.. So if it ends up being something bad, it's our own faults, and we don't want to have to admit that we made the wrong choice and have to live with something that we missed out on. But when we're making these choices, how do we determine which path to follow? It seems like the options are basically thrown at us all at once, and some how we're supposed to sort through all of it and come up with a conclusion.

...

anonymous (2:53:53 PM): oh, the NAAB thing is at 3 right?
anonymous (2:54:07 PM): in the lecture hall?
anonymous (2:54:25 PM): ???

I think that's just a biiiiit too much. Or am I just being weird? :P

And for those of you that are in the LiveJournal community, I am now part of it. (Hm..did I say that before?) Well, if you wanna look me up, my username is _arch_tenshi So check it out. :) Um...what else. I've been thinking about making a myspace. (I mentioned that on my LiveJournal) Why? Cuz everyone seems to have one and asks me if I have one. Bleh, but then again I don't always want to be a conformist... Well we'll see. People seem to think it's a good idea. Maybe I will and maybe I will. ;)

I was thinking about changing the style of pictures on here. Well, the style of pictures of myself. I know I need to change the weekly picture. Long overdue. But I'll get around to it some time. Uploading pictures takes time and I don't always feel like taking that time. However, if I do decide to change the way I put the pictures, I think you'll be able to notice. I'll probably mention it if I do. :P Are you curious yet? ;)

The MSN virus is killer. If anyone ever sends you something that says something about "This is so funny!" Don't click on it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't. Otherwise you'll end up sad like me. The stupid virus is what is making me format. I had needed to before, but I just kept putting it off. Now I'm doing it cuz I have to. :( Not good. I tried getting in Ragnarok earlier, when everyone could get in, and I just couldn't get in. I'm not sure why....but it scares me. I hope it goes alright.....

Hm....I think I'll go take a shower. I'm also supposed to watch "Ray" and "Harold and Kumar" because I borrowed them from Christian. I'm (obviously) supposed to watch them before I give them back.. I don't know when I'll see him again.....but yeah. I should be watching that now. Yes, instead of Iming which is something I can do anytime. But now I am on the phone..... Formattinnnngggg...

I joined the LiveJournal community. My sister told me that I no longer needed a key to sign up. So I signed up. And now I don't have to post as "anonymous." or "kko." ;) ...However, I will also keep this up as well as my Xanga. I don't really post in my Xanga, but I do still post occasionally, and I just recently posted, asking if anyone reads it at all. haha... Only one person answered. ;) And it seems as though my viewers for this has gone down. If you read this, please post comments and/or at least tell me if you read it. Thanks. I just want to know I have people out there who care about what I'm saying. On top of these three things, I have my deviantart journal going, but I guess that's for my own personal...satisfaction, cuz no one really reads it. Why? Cuz I haven't really said much about it. If I was better at the computer, I would post some of my stuff up. But...no. For I am ashamed.

Well, I looked at her face and then I knew she changed,
Yeah my heart turned black and then the sky turned gray
Yeah my heart turned black and then the sky turned gray

So I sat in my room for 27 days,
No she never called, I had something to say
No she never called, I had something to say

Well I don't know much and I don't know how...

Why would she put me through such torture,
I would have given my life for her,
She was the one that knocked me over,
Now I'm alone sitting on the corner

Well, I heard she's great and her new boyfriend's lame,
She can go to hell I'll never be the same
She can go to hell I'll never be the same

And my open wounds will heal with time they say
Yeah my heart turned black and the sky turned gray
Yeah my heart turned black and the sky turned gray

Well I don't know much and I don't know how...

Why would she put me through such torture,
I would have given my life for her,
She was the one that knocked me over,
Now I'm alone sitting on the corner

Why would she put me through such torture,
I would have given my life for her,
She was the one that knocked me over,
Now I'm alone sitting on the corner

Well i dont no much and i dont no how

Why would she put me through such torture,
I would have given my life for her,
She was the one that knocked me over,
Now I'm alone sitting on the corner

Why would she put me through such torture,
I would have given my life for her,
She was the one that knocked me over,
Now I'm alone sitting on the corner

Peter (the GM from Ragnarok) is stupid. ::sigh:: I heard that he summoned this big monster (that's hard to kill) in the middle of the town cuz he was bothered with the way the merchants had set up their shops. And normally when things are summoned, people try to kill them... (save the merchants!!!!) but this time, he was like, "dont kill it." and people still tried to kill it, so he banned them. Hopefully just for a day or something. But that's ridiculous. What about novices or lower class characters? How are people supposed to leave the city and stuff?

Anyway, I'm at CCA. BUT i'm not in class. I went online during my lecture class earlier. We were just going over a test we took on Tuesday. It was part of the architecture licensing test. Scaryyyy. The proefssor said that as third year students, we should get 13-15 right. A normal architect (like our teachers) should be able to get 50% without studying.. And then most people take the test and get 75-80% right. Um..that's scary. I hope I can pass on the first try.....

Who knows what's going on anymore.

Class hasn't quite started yet. Heh.

Well, I guess Carlos officially quite Ragnarok with Xenophase, cuz he gave me his account. ::sigh:: Nooooo. :( I want him to play! Haha Well, I guess if he ever wants to come back it won't be a problem. Cuz I'm sure I won't strip his character or anything. :) But I looked at his equips, and they make me sad. Hahaha ;) I want to get to level my monk by Wednesday.. The leader of our allied guild wants me to help out...so I'm going to try to. I don't know if I can hit level 82 by Wednesday unless I play an insane amount. I don't plan to, but hey..maybe I will. ;)

Hm. I guess I"ll open some stuff up so I can make it at least LOOK like I'm working. I have to meet with the teacher today. I'm second on the list!! The HIT LIST. aah, scary ;) Betty can't stop carving question marks in my wrist.......

We fail at everything we ever even try to attempt.

~we're in an era we hate to admit we embrace~

Maybe I can go home early. Oh, want to hear a rather negative bit of information. So, I've been in charge of paper towels and my roomamtes bring toilet paper. You know, stuff liek that. Although maybe we'll switch off or something, cuz sometimes I feel like I'm bringing more than they are.... But yeah, FIRST OF ALL, sometimes people will use up the rest and they won't put on a new roll. Doesn't it make sense to put in a new roll ilf your'e the last person to use it?? What if someone's on the toilet and then they go, and look for some toilet paper, and there's nothign there?!? What do you expect them to do!??! JEEZ. And then sooooo I happened to be in the bathroom and I noticed there's no toilet paper. (Don't worry, I wasn'g going to the bathroom..) So I look to put in a new roll. NO TOILET PAPER. What the fuck... Sooooo I tell my roommate and we decide we need to go to the store to get some. HAHA you knoww hat? We should get some and keep it secretly, and see what our other roommate does. Haha, is that too evil? :P But the thing is..I'm pretty sure I heard someone go to the bathroom.... WHAT DID THEY DO?????? :T ::suspicious looK:: Maybe we shouldn't think about it... heh... Lucky for me, I'm at CCA, so I can go to the bathroom here. ;P I wonder if it's possible to just go here, and never use my bathroom at home... Haha

Anyway, maybe there will magically be toilet paper when I get home. ;P [[Doubtful]]

By the way--deviantart, priZmatic. Check it out. :)

Sell you beautiful.

i wanted to tell you what it was
but it was afraid
i wanted to tell you it was love
but i was ashamed
i wanted to know, i wanted to see
i wanted the same as anyone
but all that you know and all that you need
is more than could come from anyone

Um..I'm in class, of course. Haha I was working on something we're supposed to show the teacher today. We're going to have three major reviews for the rest of the semester. Scary. And I just found out that I have to turn in my third year review crap by the 30th. Shit. I have less time thatn I thought i had. I thought I had till the end of the semester or something... So now i have less than a month..Damn, i need to take pictures of the stuff I have at home-home. And I'm sure it has to be good quality too....

I have to put it on powerpoint, and then i'm supposed to present it. What am I supposed to say about it?!?!?! I really don'tk now And I dont' get how it works. Scary. I guess I'll find out as I go, but still. Damn, I don't know how nice they want this thing to be.. ::sigH:: Or how detailed.

Sour Patch kids.

I saw blue earlier. Now it's all grey. Jean Grey. Hah. But really, it's all dark. And I suppose it's cuz it's starting to get later in the day. It has to get darker before it gets lighter, right? :P

~One Slowdance~
You and me dancing the night away
You can feel my heart beating so hard

Moonlit walk on the beach.

I think the stuff in the comment box is intimidating for people. No one wants to get in the middle of stuff. So just disregard it, if you want to comment. I've also thought about clearing it just so that people don't have to worry about it...but I don't want to see disrespectful so I'll keep it up there for now.

I feel like I'm at a dead end. Where do I go now?

I'm thinking about taking a nap. I don't know if it would be a good idea for me....

I might be sick. I don't know

I'm tired.

Of everything.

I'm not even going to say some of the thoughts that are going on in my head right now cuz I think I'd freak some people out.

WTF.

Hm.
Don't bat your eyes for anyone else that's all I ask.

Sometimes it 's like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Everyone's depending on you to be a certain way and do certain things, and I guess it' sjust hard because you never realized it. And you might make one little mistake and it all comes loose.

I have also come ot the conclusion that I need to do my try-to-be-studious thing again. ::sigh:: We'll see how that works out. Tomorrow, I don't have my CAD class, though. That's nice. :D It's from 4-7, so I get three hours of freedom. Yay...

Things seem to have resolved themselves which is nice. Of course, is anything ever completely resolved? Maybe maybe not. But I feel better about some things. Right now I'm listening to music, but my CD player is runnig out of batteries which makes me sad. I don't know how much battery time I have left. I have to remember to charge my CD player and get new batteries. It uses rechargeable, but as backup I bring this special...battery case thingy. :) Yeah.... Man I wish I had some AA batteries... Just in case. I guess if I really want music, I could play it on my laptop.

Lying there you're a lie to meeeee...
^Those lyrics don't necessarily mean anything. Sometimes when I'm playing stuff I just really like typing out the lyrics and/or singing. :D It's hard to do both at the same time unless the song is slow and I can type as i sing the words. But yeah, other times, I put up lyrics cuz I feel that they mean something or relate to what I'm going through.

I remember I talked to someone who didn't feel the same way. They said that people should just put up their thoughts instead of lyrics. But I guess in a way, sometimes your own thoughts are too personal, but you kind of want people to know how you feel, so you take something that's kind of general, but something that people can still relate to: music. And it makes you feel better to think that other people have gone through the same stuff...

This next song is pretty....
Another page turns in my life as I'm left here
Contemplating how the sky can appear so clear
Then turn gray and as the rain falls down on my face

And as the rain falls on my face,
A darkness lingers.
And haunting memories plague my mind.
Vivid pictures of all the past times
And all I left behind, I left behind.

I'm standing in a crowd, yet I am all alone.
Trying to figure out just what went wrong here

And as the rain falls down on my face.
And as the rain falls on my face, a darkness lingers.
And haunting memories plague my mind.
Vivid pictures of all the past times and all I left behind,
I left behind.

:*)

Alright. I think I'll attempt to look productive. My teacher might be catching on.

Adam from Home Grown has left the band to go with his own band, New Years Day. Crazy, huh? Sad. First Bob and now Adam.

Lastly, apparently it was Nic's birthday from Gastby's American Dream. 23. Ooo, not far off from MY age...iiinteresting :D

I had a straange dream last night. I dreamed that I hm... there are multiple parts, and I actually don't remember which part was first or later or last. Well, I remember being on a boat. ...And there was another boat that pulled up RIGHT along side ours. Except it was big..and I remember being worried that it would hit the boat I was on. The nudged it a little, but nothing big...

Then I also dreamed that I was killing Sohees. If you don't know what those are, they're monsters in Ragnarok. There were also Skeleton Soldiers and Skeleton Archers. It's weird, though, cuz I haven't killed those things in a while. Anyway, I guess in my dream, it was supposed to be real life. So I was walking around luring the monsters and killing them. I think I was looking for something. :p Maybe if I play Ragnarok later, I'll go try to kill me some of those...

Lastly, I dreamed I called Brian. Yes, Brian, from high school. Hah. I have no idea why I dreamed of calling him. Hm.... We talk on the phone, but in my dream, I had been calling to ask where he was and what he was doing. I guess we were supposed to meet up? Or maybe I was bored? I dont' remember. So I called, but he was doing something. ..And then I called again a little while later, and he got mad, saying that he had asked me not to call before cuz he's using up his minutes and what he's doing hadn't changed from what he was doing before. :p

And those are my dreams. I have to eat and worK, so I'll update later.

I'm at CCA right now. Class just ended and now I'm waiting for my roommate to finish a project so that we can go home. I guess I should be working on mine, too, since I have something due tomorrow as well...but I don't know. I guess I feel I should work at home instead, for some reason. But that's worse cuz then I have tons of things to distract me. EHHH I'll get it done. (Yes, keep telling yourself that...) I have to make five images for tomorrow. ACtually maybe six? But the hard thing is that they didn't reall make the project clear, so I think we're all sort of confused. Oh well, yesterday, my professor liked my idea...and said something about...just doing the work, and then if I can't get anything useful from it on Wednesday, we'll discuss it.

Suck it up and chill, the beat goes on and on, my friend.
I know reality is a bitch, but buddy,
Where were you when she needed you then?
Do I even have to say?
Considering everything that you said but not once to me.

If we're taking this to war, I sing a song of battle.
I can feel it in my throat, but buddy I'm not wasting
All my time. Until then, we've got a score to settle.
Every promise that you broke will be the words you choke on.

If you grow up, I'll watch my back if you watch where you spit.
Cuz I'm the king of confrontation,
But something tells me something's just not worth it.

So laugh it off or take your shot.
The cuts can hurt so bad.
I'm giving this the best I got
Cuz this is the best I've ever had

If anything should happen
There's something you don't want to witness.
This is passion.
This is my gut reaction.
If anything should happen, son, it's on.
Don't you forget this. It's over.
Watch your winter turn colder.
It's over and your December is that much colder.

Somehow this seems fitting.
All the pieces of our life fall at once.
It's like those card houses you'd make when you were little.
If you touch one, they'd all fall.

This weekend was strange I suppose. I don't really want to talk about it.. Um... Why? Too many details. Too many things I don't really want to say right now. And I'm too lazy to type it all out anyway. If you're a close friend then perhaps you already know what I'm talking about. If not, then perhaps you're missing out. I guess it all depends on how you look at it.

Hm....So today is Monday. Mundane. Yep. I don't have any plans cuz I have to go to class. Sucks. Everyone else is sleeping or relaxing, and I have to go to class. :X I don't even have anything, but if I had started working on it at 11:00am like I had told myself I would, then I wouldn't be sitting here complaining about having nothing.

That's all for now. Feeling lazy and tired and everything like that. Some people have helped to make things better. And I truly appreciate those people for that. I am going to attempt to work. Or at least make you think I am.

You can call it anything you want the fact remains the same
I never got to be your Fred Astaire
You can lie to yourself and all your friends and pretend that you don't care
But circumstance gets in the way

Brr, I'm in the computer lab at school right now and it's all cold. I think maybe the air conditioning just turned on. i can't really tell, though, since I'm listening to music. Where would I be without it? Today has kind of felt like a long day. Hard to really tell, I guess. Hmmm.

You can find out so much about a person when you have an argument with them. Or something negative like that. I have this thing where I have to resolve things. Which I guess gets in the way sometimes. I remember last school year staying up till 06:00am on some nights just cuz I wanted to resolve something. And then i might end up skipping class cuz of it.... It's good, I guess, cuz it means I have determination. Determination to make things right and try to have everyone feeling better. (Which is why I'll often drop everything to try and help people with their problems...)

It's bad, though, cuz then I don't rest till I get an answer. ...Which means, yes, lack of sleep... And not doing what I'm supposed to be doing just to get answers or figure things out. It also means I'll bug the other person till I feel things are better. Originally, it didn't seem to cause problems cuz most people were willing to talk to me when i would bug them for answers. However, in the past six months, someone has demonstrated to me how it can be annoying. It's hard, though, when you know something's wrong and the person says they don't know and stuff like that. Feeling like I can't help solve things makes me feel helpless. I"m sure everyone feels that way, but it really gets to me. Cuz I know I can't MAKE someone tell me things. Or make someone feel better. So I just sit there......sad..... and lost.

Heh, I don't know how many of you have read my profile. It's funny, though. Some time on my website, I complained about how some people think that everything is related to them. My example was how if you say "fuck it" then the person thinks that it's about them. (Actually, I think it was on the post before this.) Anyway, so I put something about that in my profile. I believe it said something like, "Are you really so arrogant that you think everything I say is about you?" And then what's really funny is that the person who I was talking about IMs me and quotes it and asks, "Is that about me?" and "You think I'm arrogant?" haha, I guess it's kind of...twisted, but I got a kick out of that. Hm.....I wonder if the person still reads my webpage. Damn, if they do. Shit. hahaha If not, then whatever.

I was playing ragnarok today and one of my guild members gave me his screenname. Actually that was last night. And he also officially told me his name. I already knew it but the fact that he "officially"told me makes me feel special. haha Cuz the guild basically is on a ign-basis. I kind of knew their names already cuz I heard them call each other their names on accident... But technically i wasn't supposed to know. And then one of the guys actually told me his and stuff. And then when it's only four of us on (that know each others names) they'll use their real names. I know it's stupid haha and it's a game and everything, but it makes me feel special... SPEEECIAL! ::points to self::

Alright...well, I still have some crap going on kind of, but hopefully it'll get better... Things always get better. I guess the real question is: How will they get better? Cuz they can seem crappy at first and then get better cuz you kind of get used to it and stuff.. So you might end up with something that you don't want but eventually it has to get better from there. OR you could end up with the things you want and that's how things get better. When people ask me "are you okay?" I generally always say yes. Why? cuz it's not like i'm dying. The day I'm dying is the day I'll say I'm not okay.. I know people aren't asking expecting me to think, "well, I stil have family and friends, so I could be a lot worse off.... and therefore I'm okay" But still...I sometimes can't help but answer like that.

My roommate and I are going to Albertson's later today. GOOD. Cuz I was beginning to think that I was running out of food. Finally i can get myself some salad or something. :) Hmmz. Yeah that's about it for now.

This weekend, I believe I'm going to the Comicon at the Cow Palace. Omoshiroi. I wonder what that will be like. I'm also supposed to watch Constantine. haha, I'll tell you all how it is. But I warn you - I'm not picky about movies, so almost anything is at least alright. :)

I had something else to say but hm. Sometimes it seems like people try to guilt trip you. That's not fun.

I swear there was something else I was going to say...but I guess that will have to wait. Gotta work on my model some more.

Well, we've been having ant problems here. They started last week, I think. They came cuz one of my roommates had soda cans and I dont know what happened, but somehow they leaked or something, so there was sweet stuff the ants found. Once my other roommate and I cleaned that up, they stopped coming. And then yesterday, I was doing something in the kitched (i forget what) and I noticed that on the floor was two clumps or..something. I don't know what.. But apparently something sweet, cuz there were ants on it. NASTY. ugh. The messy roommate jsut keeps leacing messes and doesn't clean them up. Blah! So i cleaned it up, and cleaned up the entire kitchen floor just cuz it was my turn... I still think she could've cleaned it up though. So I decided to put up a notice.

I think the messy roommate thinks I'm a neat freak. And I'm really not most of the time. Of course, I'd prefer it if the apartment was kept super clean, but I understand that it's not fun to clean and that everyone has stuff to do and can get lazy. (Myself included, definitely.) I think it's logical to clean up after yourself if you've made a pretty big mess or spilled something, but apparently she just doesn't think that way.

I have homework to do. Ethics and Studio 4. I almost forgot about ethics...again. But I'll do it. :P ..ugh I don't like that class just cuz it seems to be a waste of time, and it actually requires work..... I don't have time to read all the stuff. Blah.

simon: what are clothes to me
simon: haaha
simon: exporsure
simon: for
simon: too much loveeeee
me: VERY indecent
me: hahah too much LOVE?
me: simon loves the ladies
me: AND the men
simon: yes i do
simon: omggg

Ah, so the truth comes out... >:)

I might be hanging out with Ragnarok/Vent people tonight. COOLLL.. haha And DOH yesterday I made yet another character. DAMN! Haha, but a guild member convinced me. He his level 79 before me, and then I hit it...and he said he was going to make a monk, and told me to make a hunter. (He hit 79 on his hunter, and i hit it on my monk.. so it's like we're switching.) I asked if he was serious, and he said yes...so I did it. D'oh. haha... yeah...

Okay I'm in class now.... i'll um...be studious...

I'm sure I'll get crap about this from some people.

On a random side note, I received an IM last night. Apparently someone saw my profile from facebook, and they decided to add me. They IMed me through AIM and we just talked a little bit. That's about it. I found it weird...cuz I was able to talk to someone online about USF. I guess it's just strange to me cuz all thepeople I know are froM CCA...or from high school. it's kind of cool...but I don't know what kind of person he is yet. He seemed alright. It's also weird cuz apparently he knows Tri. :=O Haha He showed me this picture of him, and I was like, "OHH that's you?" cuz I happened to see someone's pictures yesterday... So I sent him one that I saw of him back. And he was like, "Oh...I was drunk.." haha

Alright. Well, I"m in class. I'm wondering what I"m supposed to have.. I'm kind of worried cuz I feel as though everyone in my class has somethig better than me, but when I show them what I have, they're like "that's alright." Ugh, I don't know. So far this semester, I haven't been so lucky. When I think something sucks, it does. Previous semesters, I guess i was luckier.

Alright, I'm going to get back to work. "back" to work. I'll probably end up updating this again. :X /wah. hahah, man, I'm lame. ;) Whoa, my finger just like...twitched. A ton. It was weird. I looked down cuz it felt like it was shaking, and it was going crazy.

Bring me food and I'll love you forever.

i'm sorry for everything i did to you, i didn't mean it
late for my own funeral, as usual

I'm putting it down on paper
So I don't forget it all later
As if I could if I tried anyway
I'll say that I learned my lesson
But I'll make the same mistakes again
I think about this every day as I watch the towns fade through side view mirrors

Okay my plan for tonight... Work on my stuff for studio. I don't think it will take all that long to make, but who knows, i could be wrong. :*( Then I also promised Anthony I'd level him. So hopefully I"ll get around to that. I dont think he checks this regularly, but if he does, I'm still sorry.

I told someone named ~Offline~/Invincible that I'd try to help him level, but we'll see about that. I might just have too much to do.
I also have this thing on the side where I told someone else I'd help level his acolyte, but the guy's kind of annoying. Haha.. he just keeps bugging me and asking for my password and username. Bleh!

i thought I had something else to do on top of that. Maybe level someone else? no, too much. I need to level myself cuz Christian's catching up. (damn him!)

Anyway, so I worked on something for my studio group. i did that today in my CAD class. yes, I sort of was paying attention. I was kind of clueless, but I think now I know what's going on better. Ironic. heh.. Hm.....I guess that's it. Not much else is going on. I need to work on my thingggg. haha "Can you repeat the part where you said thse stuff about the things? The things?" :D haha, man that was great. If you know where that's from that's cool

Critical. Sometimes you feel as though people expect too much out of you. They have certain expectations as to how you're supposed to be/act....and if you don't do exactly what it is they expect you to do, they're disappointed, angry, and everything like that.Of course we shouldn't expect people to be the same about everything, or they would be boring and predictable, but it seems sometimes that people think they have you understood to the point where you have to do exactly what they think you'll do or they'll judge you for it. And even if you do that, there comes a conflict as to who expects what. people are only predictable to a certain level. I guess sometimes you just have to say fuck it all and do your own thing.

p.s. Happy birthday, Munjayborc. :)

I forgot to look up the place the guy got the tea from. I was planning on doing that, but I guess I just forgot and didn't get around to it. Yesterday was my roommate's birthday. She had a friend over in the morning. They were making eggrolls. They also had bought some malt coolers since she is now 21. haha She was like, "Try one!" and stuff, and I figured since it was her birthday that I would. So I did. HAH, the first thing I had this morning was alcohol. Well, it's probably only like..7% or something, but still. haha, so I thought, "uhhh i should eat." ..And I ended up eating one of the eggrolls. (Don't worry, they offered them to me.) Then they left...and I ate a couple more. haha They were pretty damn good. :P I told someone from Ragnarok I'd give him one. hah...

Then later, my roommates wanted to get alcohol. Again. So they picked some up. I went with them, but I didn't take part in the choosing of the stuff. I just kind of stood around. It was cool though. Then we went out to the check out stand place, and the guy just asked, "Are you old enougH?" or something, and my roommate said yes, and that was the end of that. haha. We went to the self check out, but still. That means I could pick stuff up. :p Oh well.. She's buying booze for underage people. OOO, shaaaame. :P

Hm. I tried a little, but it was very strong. Haha, I like..jumped up. My roommates were all laughing at me. :X That was all I had. Don't worry, I didn't get drunk or anything like that. And no one could tell I drank anything anyway, so I guess that's a sign that I didn't drink much. Hah.

Hm...I also played ragnarok today. Not too much since I remembered that I have an essay due today. The essay's only a page long, but we have one every week. I didn't do the reading, so I basically had to skim over it when I came across stuff I didn't know. I managed to get it done..and then I also did last week's. yes, it was late, but see, on the assignment paper, I thought the day the assignment was listed on was the day it was assigned. I emailed the professor last week, asking for specifics on it, and she didnt email me back until SATURDAY. GRR! But luckily, she said it wouldn't be late if I turned it in by Monday at 09:00...so that's what I'm planning on doing. (I did it and sent it already.) The problem with my USF clases is that I kind of just don't pay much attention to it. I concentrate more on my CCA classes. ..And so the writing I do for my USF classes end up being kind of crap. :P Yay for me.

I dropped something off at CCA earlier today. haha, not that that's a big deal or anything. It just came to mind, I guess. Alright, well, I suppose that's all for now. I'm feeling kind of sleepy. I'm surprised at how late it is. I didn't realize the time. It's already 03:30....and I'm supposed to wake up at 09:00 for class at 09:40. Funnnn. >:(

Give me something worth living for
...
Anything to keep me breathing.

I went to sleep a bit...a bit WAY too late last night/this morning. heh..Not to say that I've never gone to sleep at that time.....Just that it was a bit earlier than I had expected/wanted. Oh well. I woke up this morning a couple times...and then went back to sleep. Then I was lying in bed when my mom called. I tried to make it sound like I was already up and about... :P Apparently I got jury duuuuutyyyy. Doo doo on jury doodee. :p

I have to sign the stuff so I can postpone it.

Yesterday, my roommate's friend was over, and he offered to get us food. I wasn't especially hungry, but if something was in front of me, of course I'd eat it. :D So he offered to get me a club sandwich and a drink from some place on Clement. [Craaaap, the guy from Ragnarok just messaged me. Probably asking me to help him level or some crap. >:( ] Anyway, he came back with the stuff...the drink was pearl tea. (or whatever the hell you're supposed to call it. I don't know... tell me, and I'll start calling it that.) I have to admit, it was the best I've ever had. Normally, it tastes more like candy. Like you can get strawberry, but it will end up tasting like some sort of strawberry candy. The one I had surprised me, though. Instead of tasting like candy, it tasted like real strawberries. I don't know if it was frozen strawberries or what, but it was delicious. :) I should show my sister that place some time. HAH, too bad I don't know exactly where it is or anything. ;) Eh, I guess I can try looking it up. :)

Hm. I think that's all for now. I'll.......um......update this later or something. haha

Ever not know what to think? Well, nevermind, I'm sure it happens to everyone. But there seem to be a lot of times when I'll just do whatever...and then later, I'll wonder what the hell it is that I'm doing. Maybe I should shut myself up in a little box with no communication with the outside world for a little bit. Then I can think and just see what goes on in my head. Maybe that would help me determine things.

I have to do homework for Materials & Methods. My roommate's saying it's hard, but I'll see for myself. I'm going to start it right after this. I was playing Ragnarok earlier, but I stopped cuz someone was going to send me songs. I'm still waiting for him....... Apparently the files are...weird. Hopefully he'll figure out the stuff soon so I can heaarrr!

Hm. Im just sitting here....trying to figure out what it is that's going on inside my head.....And stuff. Thinking...Etc.

So I have a powerpoint due tomorrow. It shoudln't be too bad, though, cuz it's only five minutes long. ...At the same time, though, I am worrying. Ehhhhhh.... Anyway, I remembered that I was supposed to put pictures on it at the end, and I FORGOT THEM. Shit. ::sigh:: I still have time to take them, I guess. I 'll to it tomorrow. Man, I was so happy about being done, too. daaamn. ::sigh:: I also need to figure out what it is I'm going to sayyyy. I have a general idea, but I need to figure out the order and stuff like that. Bleh....

Here I am. Doo doo doo. I have "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" in my head. It's weird, though, cuz i don't really listen to that song much and stuff. Blehhhhaaaahhehaheaheh. School sucks. :*( It brings a tear to my eye. And not one of those happy ones.....

I dont' know if anyone else gets like this, but if you do, please share with me, cuz I feel like I'm the only one who gets this way. ..Once the time hits around 03:00am or so, I start getting really shaky. It doesn't matter if I'm sleepy or not, I'll just start shaking. It sucks. Heh... It's kind of amusing for me..but it sucks, I guess...cuz it's distracting. ..luckily, though, I don't recall it getting in the way when I've built my models. It just bothers me...cuz then it seems like I'm shakin cuz I'm nervous or something. So if it's like...after 03:00 or something, and you happen to be hanging out with me, and I'm shaking, it's not cuz i'm scared of you! It's cuz that's just what happens to meeeee. (SO, does that happen to anyone else?)

Alright, I guess this is it for now. I think I shoudl be sleeping soon. :P Haha, I have a 09:40 class tomorrow. Rather, today. DAMN! Heh. Yeah, I should think about sleeping. Maybe.

As you can see (or if you've read this a lot, something you may have noticed by now), I'm avoiding my homework as much as possible. I guess the possibility of me being studious is out the window for this semester. I kept it up for a grand total of like...one and a half weeks basically. ::sigh:: How lame. However, I'm still going to try. I have this weird thing where I still think I'm being studious. (haha, if that makes sense.) So I'm still going to try for it I guess....

I'd explain my project but I guess it's kind of hard. Perhaps once I'm done with the final thing, I'll explain it and show all the steps. OR actually...it's not all that hard. I just hope that it's understandable. So first, we were supposed to take a pattern. We had a reading to do, and we were supposed to get images based on what the readings said. So the general thing was about patterns. (Simplifying it for you.) Then after that, we were supposed to apply different things to the images. (Like filters in photoshop..) We were basically supposed to make them look 3D on paper. Give them a spatial quality. Now that that's done, we're supposed to actually turn the image into something that really is 3D.

Alright, this is it for now. Better keep this stuff short since I've been updating it so much. Have fun.

..I have to think about the details of my model. I have a pretty good idea except that I just have to make sure it'll work. I hope my idea works! AAH!

Anyway, I'm in class. I just had a great desk critique with one of my professors. ...Cuz I was doing work and as I was talking with him, I got this great idea....Or at least an idea that's better than the one I have now. ..And so I thought that I would work with that idea. ..and I told him, and he agreed that it was good. Woo hoo! :P Anyway, I have this vision, and hopefully it will turn out the way I want it to.

Right now my right eye itches, and I can't quite do anything about it. I just tried rubbing it, but there's not much else I can do.

I'm waiting to use Scott's scanner. :P I was going to go to a lab, but I think it would just be easier to use it on my laptop. I need to use it to scan a book the teacher is loaning me. I have like...an hour..or I guess till the end of class or something... But I definitely have to give it back soon. Ee.... ::rubs right eye....::

Oh - I think I'm getting hungry. haha, kind of hard to tell since I haven't been eating much lately. (If you've talked to me much lately, you might have heard me talking about this..) It's really not intentional. Heh... Alright, I guess I'll go back to work. i thought I had some idea on something I was going to post, but I really don't quite remember what it was right now.. I think my memory and vision are really going down the tubes for today. Once I get some sleep, maybe it'll be better. ::shrug:: who knows!! Not I! [Said the cat...]

I have to read. Fun, huh? And it's FREEZING. I guess I was wrong... The rain didn't help absorb the coldness. Haha

I have to make a model for tomorrow. I haven't done it yet. I hope I'm not screwed. :X

Haha, on tv, there are these two girls competing to get free coffee from starbucks for life. One of them was announced the winner, and the other girl smiles and kind of starts to step off camera....then this guy comes in and kind of stands in the spot she was standing in and it's almost like he shoves her aside. haha, it made me laugh.:P Turns out the guy was her boyfriend or something, and he proposed to her. How aggressive haha

I had class this morning at 09:00, so I set my alarm for 08:00. My roommate was out last night...with her cousin. Dude, they left at like 11:00 or something. Eh well, up to her haha. Anyway, so I ended up turning off my alarm and waking up at 08:13..."Crap!" So I got out of bed, and was surprised my roommate was still sleeping. I thoguht maybe class started at 09:30 instead, so i actually checked, and it started at 09:00....so I went back into the room and asked if she was going to class. SHe said that she thought it didn't start until 09:30. But I told her it's 09:00 and so we got ready in around 15 minutes. Whee. We made it there on time, though.

Hahahaha, I think it's funny how the people who ride around in the three-wheeled department of public transportation vehicles have to wear helmets.

"but man do i respect you."
;) No, that's NOT directed to Ashleeeeee Simpson.

Before going, I had asked my roommate if she was going to come. Thursday night, I told her about it, and she had said, "If you want to, we can." ...So I decided I'd go.... Cuz even if my roommate didn't go, Scott had already offered to give me a ride. And so far I haven't seen him drink, so he'd be a designated driver. :) But when I asked my roommate last night, she was like, "no." ....I'm not sure why.. ...She seems to not like hanging out with the architecture students. I admit that I'm still closer with my high school friends, but I'll hang out with the architecture students, and I'm comfortable enough around them to hang out witih them. Maybe that's just the impression I get, but I feel it seems accurate cuz of her past behavior on trips as well.

Anyway, I got a ride from Carlo home cuz he kept saying Scott should just go home and drop off this other guy cuz the guy lives in Oakland, and Scott lives in Berkeley. They could just go by the city instead of having to stop. Scott insisted he really didn't care since he'd be driving in San Francisco anyway (I dont know if he knew around where I live though.) but Carlo actually lives in San Francisco, so he said it was fine with him to drop me off. So we dropped Loraine off first. She lives in Daly City. And then I was dropped off. The party was pretty fun. Just time to relax and hang out... And eat. :D

I'm eating grapes. FOr some reason, I find it so easy to feel full on grapes. I guess it's cuz they're little balls of juice. But they're good frozen! ...I guess maybe I just can't eat too many of them or I get tired? I don't know. Cuz they do kind of leave your mouth...dry? Not as dry as cranberries, though.

And I have homework to do. Not quite sure when I'll do it though. Maybe tomorrow? I have the rest of today, and tomorrow to get it done... We'll see. oh - and they were playing "Newlyweds" on MTV last night. My roommate found it. (haha, how would I? She controls the remote.) It was interesting. ...I think they were showing it cuz they're starting the new season on Wednesday... [in case anyone is interested.]

Summertime, summertime brought me back to
thinking you were mine all those times. We laid it
down and left it all behind, we were blind. Oh the
summertime. We could ride, we could ride. Take
my hand and watch the world go by. Laugh or cry,
well we need to try, get off the line, time to fly. Oh
the summertime.

Go on ahead and let it fade away. No looking
back you know the past will stay. It's you and me,
we could get out of here. Jump in and go and we
could drive for years. We could feel alive...

Here we are, here we are, windows down we see
a falling star. Stop the car. Wait for nothing but our
beating hearts, going far. Oh, the summertime. So
feel the air, feel the air, take the map and point to
anywhere. I don't care. Fingers through your hair,
the sky I've seen is blue and green. Oh, the
sumemrtime

Go on ahead and let it fade away. no looking
back you know the past will stay. It's you and me,
we could get ouf here. Jump in and go and we
could drive for years. we could feel alive...

Driving away, leaving it all behind. Driving away.
Driving away, leaving it all behind. Driving away.
Driving away, leaving it all behind. Driving away.
Just driving away, leaving it all behind. And just driving away.

Carlos gave me a desktop doggie. He runs and runs. And yips if i click on him. Thanks. :)

Anyway, then there was a drawing for some books and roman coins. Random, huh? Anyway, the numbers were like....13, 6, 24... Etc. But I think the list was in alpha order...and 24 was only in the "f"s. ...I find that unfair. ..All the numbers were like...24 and lower...so those of us with last names in the second half of the alphabet didn't even stand a chance. >:O

Well, that's about all for now. I don't have class till 04:00......and that's my Explorations in CAD class. Yippee? Heh.. I think I'll work some more on stuff for tomorrow. I did the reading yesterday. (Only half though, cuz the second half is the same as the first half...with the exception of a few parts.) Maybe i'll read it anyway. But I have to find two images that pertain to the reading, and then alter them in some way. I don't know how! AAH!

Later today, I have my Experimenting in CAD class. I hope it's alright....or at least that it goes by fast........and that it's a class I can look forward to. I also hope that it's beneficial for me in the long run, so I can be a CAD master, and possess the awesome power that is CAD. I don't have USF classes this week. Yay. I have four 09:-something classes this semester. And then I get to sleep in on Fridays. yay!

After I got back from class, I had a bowl of cereal. not a full bowl, but I never eat full bowls. It's just too much. I'm hungry already, though. :( I don't want to eat yet, cuz I want to eat right before my class so that I don't end up getting hungry in the middle. Nothing worse than getting hungry in a long class and not being able to do anything about it. It makes time go by slower and stuff. X�

haha, my roommate has The Transporter on.. I just saw it on Sunday, cuz we have it on our HBO movies list. :P

I still have to figure out my schedule. I don't know when my USF class is. :X Haha, it would be a good idea to figure it out. hopefully my roommate has her schedule, and we can look it up there. if not, maybe I can check online. :T Bah.

My apartment feels so cold. haha, no symbolism intended. I had the heater on at 65� cuz the apartment was 60�, but it didn't see mto be doing anything, so i turned it up to 70� and now I can feel the heat. Whenever it starts feeling normal, I turn off the heat. I wonder if it costs more money to turn it off and on than it does to just keep it at the same temperature the whole time. If any of you happen to know, feel free to tell me. :)

My hands are cold, and I'm feeling hungry. I keep thinking about snacking on something, but then I think that it's too late. But I guess it really comes down to when I'm actually going to sleep. Cuz if I'm not going to sleep for a while, it doesn't hurt to eat. ....Knowing me, I'm probably not going to sleep all that soon, so a little snack wouldn't to much harm. I'd eat some sort of snacky food I have, but I'm cold, so i want something warm. Wow, my eyes are feeling strangely tired for some reason. And I still have a little to unpack. I had trouble figuring out where stuff on my desk would go...cuz I brought my scanner back with me. So now that it's taking up desk space, I don't know where some other stuff should go. And basically after that was solved, I didn't bother to unpack any more. Eh, I have tomorrow. :P

I've been online a bit more the past two days. Er few? Two? Few? Who knows. If you've seen me online, then you would know. But I'll be going back to San Francisco soon, much to my dismay. Well, I guess it has its ups and downs. Ups = I get to see people from my classes. I get to have a little more independence. I get to have a fast internet connection. I get to check my mail. (Believe it or not, that's something that's positive.) Downs = School. No more home cooking. No more home. No more San Jose people. No more family.

I ironed today. That's all. hahaha

Ohh, I got one of my CDs yesterday. Well, technically it's now TWO days ago. Either way...yay! So, now I have two down, three to go. I really hope they come tomorrow or the day after. I only have two mail days left. Otherwise, I'll just have to wait till the next time I come home to see them.. :*( Technically I have till Janurary 27th before I can complain. It's weird, though, cuz one of the companies said they were sending out the CDs....on....Saturday? Monday? And they're in California, so I expected them here by now. :T Well, I guess my biggest worry is that they don't get here at ALL. :(

Hm. I guess that's all for now.

I've just bought six CDs. AAAAH. Oh wait, just five. Haha, as if that's better. My relatives gave me an amazon.com gift certificate.. And for some reason, I felt the need to spend it now. AAAH. Yeah, not good, but oh well. The only thing I could think of spending it on that wouldn't require me spending more money than the gift certificate was CDs. There is a stainless steel thermos that I've been thinking about getting, but they were out of stock. I didn't want to spend it while I was at school because my mailbox is small, and if I ordered stuff, it more than likely wouldn't fit in the mailbox. I could've waited for summer, but I'm pretty impatient, and I was worried I'd forget about it once summer came around. Then before you know it, two years would pass, and I'd no longer have a gift certificate because it expired. Sadness.

I actually spent the gift certificate on Thursday. I managed to buy three new CDs, and one used. I didn't want to go over $35.00, so I tried to come as close as possible. I ended up buying one used CD that costs $0.25. Haha, I figured it was pretty cheap. I could have just bought three normal CDs, but it would have come out to $37-something. BUUUT with three new CDs (one of which only had six tracks) and one used one, it came out to $34.80-something. I'm pretty proud of how close I got! I normally don't like to get used stuff, cuz it just doesn't have the same feel, but I figured I was trying to reach $35.00 and it's also a short CD and I'm not even quite sure if I'll like the band. I've heard a few of their songs, but I don't know if the lead singer's voice will get annoying.

Then today, I spent my own money on another CD. (Maybe I'm obsessed.) The only reason why I kept feeling the need to buy it was cuz they don't sell it in the stores, yet I like the band's stuff. They didn't have the CD at Amazon, either.... ...ANd I already checked Tower. Tower still has the widest selection of music that I know of. Yes, sometimes Best Buy, Circuit City, Sam Goody (R.I.P.), Target, or Barnes & Noble would have CDs for cheaper, but since I no longer listen to mainstream music, they often don't have the CDs I'm looking for. Some of the bands that are a bit more well known than others will be found at those stores, but for the most part, I feel I have a 50-50 chance with the music I'm looking for. Another thing that bothers me about their music selections is that they're not divided as well as Tower. Since there are only labels for the more popular bands, there are fewer, and people tend to misplace CDs after looking at them. Sure, for the most part, it will still be in alphabetical order, but "Re-" might be before "Ra-" and it's too much of a hassle [for me] to look through each CD to find out if the store has what I'm looking for.

Today, I didn't do much. I ended up going to Blockbuster with my sister. We rented some movies for the family to see. Then we went to Safeway and picked up popcorn (we were out) and some Crystal Light for my dad. He can't really have sugar anymore, yet sticking to water all the time isn't fair, so we're trying alternatives. Crystal Light is a bit watery, but at least it doesn't have any sugar...and some diabetes thingy recommended it. (Although, I once had a raspberry Crystal Light Slurpee, and it was deliiiiciiiious. :)

After Safeway, we went to Starbuck's, and I got a peppermint mocha. I got it cuz I thought I had never tried it before, but after ordering, I realized I had. I should have tried a Caramel Macchiato. I've never had a hot one of those. I was also disappointed. It occurred to me that with hot coffee, they'll put less coffee in if you have whipped cream with the drink... During summer, they have the bubble lids, so they don't skimp on the amount of coffee they give you. During winter, though, they only have those flat lids... My coffee ended up being about half whipped cream. (They didn't even ask us if we wanted whipped cream or not!) It was still satisfying.....

If you're a bit bored, and want a little fun, try this game. It's pretty fun. Kind of addicting, in my opinion. Yes, there are similar games to it out there.. This one makes you feel like eating fruit though. :D ...So delicious! And hopefully you'll realize that you can use the little special moves on the left side of the screen. (The redder they are, the more effective they are.) I didn't realize that till the second time I played. ...So my first game was pretty short. ;)

Ah, relief. Heh.

Well, there's not too much that's new going on for me. For Christmas, my sister bought me the Red vs. Blue DVD, but I exchanged it for Halo. What's better than watching guys act out stuff? Playing the game. "Yippee, Hooray!" (name that quote. ;)

I installed the game yesterday, but I started feeling sick soon after I started playing. GRR! So I stopped after the first mission. Well, the first mission after getting acquainted with the program.

I also used up my $50 gift card to Abercrombie & Fitch. FINALLY! It's been two years. I'd stop in there periodically and I'd never find stuff I liked. I ended up getting a button up striped shirt. It's actually not paper thin. (wow!) And the more I look at it, the more fond of it I get. Except it smells of their cologne-y stuff. I left the shirt on my bed, and my room ended up smelling like it a few minutes later.

I also used up a couple gift cards to Nordstrom. Those were from last year, I think. And I get to have new pants! Two pairs just seem too small now. (I think they shrank in the wash?) And plus, I used them when I had to do painting and charcoal stuff freshman year. You'd think charcoal would come out... But no.

I also tried the Japanese place across the stress from Valley Fair. Somehow we were under the impression people said it was good? And so we decided to try it. It's been there for a while, so it can't be too bad right? (RIIIGHT?!) Yeah it was alright. :)

Today, I had a dental appointment. It went alright. They said I need to brush a little better on the insides of my teeth, and floss a little better in the back. I DO floss and brush those places. I guess I'm just not as careful. But no cavities. *whew* I always kind of worry about cavities. I'm still trying to see how long I can go without one. :) After that, my mom and I went to Lundardi's. She shopped while I sat int he car and listened to music. After that we went home.

At 01:30 Grayson came and we went out to lunch and then walked near Leland. Wow, in some ways, it doesn't feel like it's been two and a half years since I went there. Some memories are foggier than others.......but others seem so vivid. And it's weird, cuz i'm around three years older than the people there. Scary. He dropped me off at my house, and I showed him some of my modely stuff cuz he wanted to see...and that was about it.

At home, my brother's still working on this project he has to do for The House On Mango Street. Remember that book? Ah. I remember the vignettes I had to write. I tried to write like the lady who wrote the book. The stuff sounds all corny now...But at least I got an A. Ah A's.. Haha Anyway, my brother has to make vignettes...but he's having a hard time, so my sister and I try to help him. It's mainly been my sister (hey, she's the English major) but I help here and there when I can. It can be pretty frustrating sometimes, though. He really doesn't like writing. And it's hard to get him to write when he really doesn't feel like it. He's a good kid though. =)

Alright. I think that's all for now. I shall surrender the computer.

I've been hanging around San Jose, so if you're around, give me a call and we'll hang out...or try to. I've been getting calls from Grayson about hanging out, but for some reason, whenever he calls, I don't hear it...or am occupied with something and can't answer. And then by the time I can answer, it's too late, so I have to call him back sometime tomorrow. I hope I do not forget. :X

That's about all I have to say right now. I hope you all have a great new year. Mine has been mundane. How delightful. :|