hey people! just wanted to let you know i'll be at my moms for the weekend so i wont be online..well i might. i dont know..but if im not and you wanna talk call me at 267-640-6975. DO NOT TEXT ME!! I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF IF YOU DO!! ok..love ya'll bye

YAY...life is pretty good right now. everything with kevin is better now so im happy happy happy! well most of the time. sometimes i still feel like im not good enough and, im not very happy about it, i feel like he doesnt love me. im still feeling really suicidal too. im scared im scared im gonna do something really stupid soon. i dont really wanna die, i just want all the pain to go away. and sarah...if sarah went away everything would be PERFECT!!! i think im gonna go write a poem i'll prolly post it later...love ya, ..::ali::..

p.s. please leave comments..i'd love to hear from you

hi,im bored so i thought i'd write some more..i have nothing esle to do..well besides think about kevin but im doing that so yea..must write something. i've been thinking about kevin a lot lately..i dont think he knows how much he means to me or how much i love him. i wish i could see him and be with him so i can show him how much he means to me and how much i care for him. but most wishes dont come true. i dont think mine will. oh well. atleast i can talk to him..sometimes..when he has time..i had living so far away from eachother...IT PISSES ME OFF!! why do pa and ca have to be so far apart? whay cant they vbe right next to eacheother? and why cant sarah leave me alone. doesnt she understand that i dont like her?

i did write my poem before..its a sad poem about my dad..i'll post it in a new entry..please please please please comment on my entries and my poem..i wanna know how you feel and if you like my poem.

Daddy

A super hero, not one in a silly costum and cape, but still a super hero. Someone a seven year old could count on to pick her up when she fell in the park or someone she could dance with to her favorite music. Her super man, her daddy. Now seven years later she sees it all clearly. The act, his act. He is no longer there when she falls. He is nowhere to be found when she needs someone to dance with. Someone to help her through the hard times. He says he cares, she knows its a lie. He says he'll always be there, she knows he wont. The drug is too important, his drug, his alcohol. It always has, it always will be. Where was he when she got her first kiss? What was he doing when she was painting "pretty pictures" in the kitchen? The pain hes caused will always remain. The hurt, the dissapointment of seeing someone who is such a big part of her life throw his away has become unbearable. Where is he while she crys in her room wishing for death? What is he doing when she reaches out to the wrong things for the attention she so desperatly needs? When she finally decides to use that knife, will her superman be there to save her?

ICH BIN SAD!!! (i am sad) everything is bad....i wish kevin would call me once in a while without me haveing to call him first or having to ask him...if only he could just pick up the phone without me having to do something, that would be great...just a random call would be nice..but im not good enough for that....

YAY!! summer vacation!! GRRRR!!! room cleaning!! oh well....KEVIN!! hehe...still obsessed grr...he fell asleep on me last night....he sounds so cute when he sleeps...he mummbles...lol...its so cute...er...sexxy....the sexxiest thing i've ever heard...yay..im going to my moms on friday...and i get to go shopping and go to the beach and stuff...lol...im gonna miss my kitty tho...i love my Lizzie and KEVIN!! I LOVE KEVIN!!! ggrrrr...must go clean room

HEY THERE PEOPLE!!! RUB A DUB DUB WHAT THE HELL ARE THREE MEN DOING IN MY TUB??!!?? okay..anyway..school is almost out..8 more days..not counting recognition day..YAY!!!!!! I LOVE KEVIN!!!! okay..i scare myself..lol...my friends over right now...she scares me too..hehe....OH GOD THE NICKELS ARE TAKING OVER..DAMN LLAMAS!!!!hahahahaha. I LOVE KEVIN!! sorry..kind of obsessed..yea..anyway...

OMG!!! i havent been on here in sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long.....**smacks me** BAD ALI!!! remind me to punish myself....i shall lock myself in the closet with all the icky dust and spiders... SPIDERS!!! no not the spiders!! anything but the spiders!! NO YOU GET SPIDERS!!! **throws body at closet door and nearly breaks it in half** owwwwwwwww....ok im done now..so much has happened...hmm, where to start, where to start? i guess i'll start with....I LOVE KEVIN!!!!!!!(yes, i still love kevin)