Hey! Im at my moms work right now..and her superviser just walked into her cubicle and saw me playing with a rubber glove...OMG!! im so embarrassed! but oh well, its not like im really gonna see him that much..unless i do get a job here next summer..then i'd have 2 jobs..ahhh..i have enough trouble with one..AHHH!! oh well..i'd work here during the week and then on weekends (just saturday) i'd work for connie. and its not like i have a lot of work to do at connies all i have to do is vaccum and mop a couple rooms..unless she wants me to clean out the toyboxes..but then i'd get payed extra so whatever. What the hell is wrong with me...im yapping about work when i could be yapping baout kevin..im so stupid...ok..im gonna talk about kevin now..I LOVE KEVIN!!! i havent talked to him yet this weekend..i dont think i will..hes always busy on weekends and never hsa time for me..fine..i dont have time for him anymore..imnot gonna set time aside for him if hes not gonna so it for me! im gonna use that time to go out with my friends more or to have parties..and speaking of parties i might be having one for halloween so dont make plans til iknow whats going on. i still have to ask my dad but i dont care what he says..i will have a party!!! and everyone knows i have the coolest parties..well sorta... ok anyway..back on the subject of kevin...i sent him a text message and told him not to text me..didnt think hed actually take it seriously..he hasnt texted me back..i feel so unwanted..i told him i wouldnt be online so if he wanted to talk he culd call me..but he prolly wont...hes prolly on like waiting for sarah to come on..to bad shes not gonna..she went away this weekend to see Will..i hope she never comes back!! she pisses me off..shes stupid! she goes through my phone gets peoples numbers and screenames so i hit her because she doesnt listen to me (and she hits me) but im being mean to her...if it wasnt for her being stupid and going through my phone none of the shit with her and kevin would have happened, but he says im being mean...of course he thinks im being mean to her..he likes her..i dont care what he says, he DOES like her and theres nothin i can do about it...im not good enough...i dont think i can take much more from him...i love him and wanna be with him but he doesnt care... a really thought that he'd be the one to take all my pain away...to make everything alright..but i was wrong..he used to stop the pain but now he causes it! he was a better friend than a boyfriend...and i thought he was soo sweet and perfect...

my new quote: she looks in the mirror and wipes away her running mascarra and whispers "I'm so stupid"