Mood:  blue
Now Playing: "Incomplete" by Backstreet Boys
now that i have my breathing under control i can post. sorry it took so o o long. i had to go to my moms for the holiday break...how was it? o, great..had a huge fight with mom and nearly killed myself on new yesrs eve. and to top off the beginning of my year, kevin just broke up with me. what fun...and i have gym tomorrow..im gonna try to stay home... i dont have energy to anything now....i ate all the chocolate connie gave me..well almost all of it, and im not hyper at all...thats what hes done to me...i wanna kill him. i didnt cheat on him and i never would. i saw, well..i know what he went through with jess and her cheating and i would never ever ever even think of doing that to him. i love him, i really and truly love him with all my heart..i just wish there was a way we could be together. i cant do it anymroe..he never listens to me. his mom hates me and we never talk anymore. whats the point of having a relationship with someone when you dont talk to them? its pointless! and i realised something the other day. i've wanted someone like him for so o o long and i finally get him and he turned out to be an ass. and i cant let go becuase [1] i love him and [2] i've waited so long and i think im scared of beng alone. not that im alone..i have my friends but they'l never be able to fill that hole in my heart where hes supposed to be (sorry guys...love ya)the really sad part is im kind of happy...well not happy, but relieved that he cant hurt me anymore..well besides the big crack he made in my heart but unless hes going to take AND GIVE in our relationship then i dont want him back. is that bad? am i wrong for wanting something back (and our lil conversations DONT make up for ANYTHING!!!) in a relation ship? i mean i give a lot and i never get anything back. am i wrong?