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Q: Why hasn't there been a new assisode in a month?
A: Well children, Neil has moved back to his homeland and is recording some tracks for an album with his Dad. Daniel is in the process of settling back into Charlotte, NC so he can get a real job and some sweet abs. The long distance and crazy moving dynamics are making it hard to collaborate. Soon enough, we will use the magic of Skype or vehicular travel to bring you a new show. Until then, hold your white horses.

Independence Madness: So finally we updated this podcast that we record over a week ago... sorry guys. We HAD pictures on it but it wasn't working and it's still broken so we said Fuck It. We talk about our fourth of july's [sic??]. There is a lot going on so we hope it lives up to your expectations. The musical guest is exclusively Crooks and Nannies. It's dank dope.

Amber B and Larkyn (Mom You're Ruining Our Fort podcast) join us for "Pretty Pretty Wasted" and give you the 16th podcast. We talk about a million things... "heaven and hell, crazy people at Barnes and Noble, video games, dorkiness, The Scroll of Sargothus, and way too much stuff to describe here. Music guests are Karin Tatoyan, and Cake or Death. "

Hey... we have been gone for two weeks, but we recorded half of Episode 15 last week and the other half this week. We talk about Neil's sister's wedding, graduation, Mario, contests, games, and SO MUCH SHIT. Our musical guests are Meg and Dia, Oh No Oh My, and The Pink Spiders. So we hope you enjoy and give us feedback to stuff... word.

::clank clank:: Attention! We'd like to announce that we are famous... yup. Proof is in the bag episode #14! So go listen to that shit. We talk about poop and sushi... and musical guests are Shiny Toy Guns and Coco Rosie. You know you love it (just like Paris Hilton)... [but better.]

A little behind in the news section, but we have episodes 12 and 13 available for you guys to listen to. Epsisode 12 was a crazy drunken fest featuring Larkyn (from Mom You're Ruining Our Fort). It was a satanic 666 cast for your jesus worshiping youth group session.

The 13th episode is full of celebrity gossip from Brandon Davis' firecrotch exploits, to Paris Hilton, Brangelina, Tom Cruise, MTV, Jake & Kirsten, and all sorts of crazy rambles. Neil talks about shooting celebrities a lot, and I talk about... gayness. You know. So go listen. Our musical guests are The Never and The Botticellis.

Okay so we have the 11th episode up and in the locker. Miriah is with us and we blow shit up. There is mention of Jamie Kennedy and bad sex stories. We dare Neil to eat something nasty... and he does it. Miriah tells a story too. The musical guests are FuriousBall and Jupiter One. We hope you enjoy. We'll add show notes later (although there really aren't any?)

So the TENTH episode of A.S.S. is up and running. Hope you guys are enjoying our silly silly antics. Neil and I worked up a new groove for you guys: "It's The South (It Sucks)." This hot track is featured in the newest podcast so check it out. Let us know what you think in the forums (Bulletin Board). We're sorry this episode is so unstructured but we had fun so you will have fun listening.

PS: Daniel's birthday is Tuesday (23rd) so pour one out for me.

So yeah, we're gonna be the worst hip hop project to hit the states since vanilla ice. Check out the track we threw down tonight called "Pop It Like A Zit". It's the fire! (to steal a phrase from K-fed himself) We're gonna call ourselves Old Man Bites Tenderly. So yeah, you know this will be rockin' da clubs in no time! Holla!

Oh Em Gee, y'all. We totally made a freestyle crunk track at the beginning of Assisode 9. Check that shit out in our locker. We tell you about the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers in case you forgot about them, and even drop a not-so-secret fact about Captain Planet. Some other stuff comes to the surface and we feature music from Sleepsound and Korea Girl. Some great stuff. I hope you are all Subscribing to the podcast on iTunes. You wouldn't want to miss a thing!

Daniel here, back from Mother's Day travels and whatnot... we have two new podcasts up and ready for your enjoyment. Miriah stuck with us so you can enjoy her random outbursts too! We have some awesome musical tracks for you to look into, even some never before heard stuff from Dear Kerosene (dot com) who are having a CD release party in San Francisco on Thursday (the 18th). So check out the new stuff and learn how to woo Neil and I... I'm not kidding. Oh, and also we're thinking about adding a section of recipes that I invent since I am such a SUPERB chef in the kitchen, what do you think? Oh and you fuckers who look at the forum and don't reply to anything better stop frontin'... we'll hunt you down... just kidding, praise Allah.

We are up to six episodes now. [Check out the locker, where we stash the goods.] We have had our friend Mirah come on as a special guest, and we've been graduating college, and other great things that are cool when you're thirteen. Don't forget to stop by the Bulletin Board and let us know what you think of Miriah and the rest of the podcast. WE NEED SOME INTERACTION PEOPLE! I guess that about covers it. Oh yeah, and tomorrow is Mother's Day so tell your mom that you're glad you got to teach her about the amazing effects of epidural anesthesia. Hooray!

So here is the new site. Welcome. We are AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL *play theme song now* - and you love us. But that's okay because it's mutual. Have fun around the site. Subscribe to the podcast and TELL EVERYONE. One day we may want a REAL website. Yeah... </ramble>

So here we are... another website idea.
I (daniel) like to code things so I'm testing this layout to see if I like it. Chances are that we will move our site here until we can afford a DOTCOM (more like a .us or .info site).... anyway, sorry about the ads. (I'm trying to cheat.)

since 06.10.06