Lori's page

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Ok this is the last part of this site

Lori wrote:

Hi. I didnt come out on top. No one did. There was no winner. Just 2 emotionally devestaed people. Of course I realize that you think thats impossible for me. Which is ok. I am not going to argue with you. No way did I come out on top. not even in the middle range. I am sorry though.........who knows what might have been.

----- Original Message ---- From: Dave To: Lori Sent: Friday, November 17, 2006 11:06:33 PM Subject: Re:

"besides I do feel you are wrong 1 emotionally devistated person the other is hiding behind another man ...how do I get that? because I still havent been with anyone else believe it or not YOUR STILL THE GOD DAMN WOMAN IN MY HEART!!!! so yes I do believe im the only one devistated here.now that i said that and got it off my chest I have a tournament to practice for a band to practice for ,my kids to hang out with and go hang out with people that I know give a shit about me people who dont give up on me because of my imperfections or because I fuck up. So many people have seen what you have done to me the anger,sadness,loss and rage in my eyes and even turning my back on my own cousin,mother,and my whole fucking family besides my father and my kids. you know what the sad part is Lori? I NO MATTER WHAT I SAY I would of NEVER gavin up on you .... not sure i even have through all this bullshit hell I realize my mistakes but it seems you havent, like you did nothing wrong not that it matters,Your the one who broke it ... and .......your the only one who can fix it GOD DAMN IT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME????? FUCK!!!! oh and one more thing I have people that want me to come to fla to work a buddy of mine runs a mortgage firm in miami I dont know what to do all I know is i have to get the fuck out of here!"-Dave

Lori wrote: "by all means go to fla. I would if i could. what i DID TO YOU HUH....sure its easier to blame me then to be responsible for your own actions. Its what I would have expected you to do. I know your totally blameless. I mean after all I am too wild to ever be tamed. And what woman wouldnt want to be tamed by a man with a mean mouth and an evil fuck with your mind kinda of disposition.......what was I thinking."

Oh and Lori I would have never done anything to hurt you if you hadnt have done it to me first.

This is what is finally our last conversation You guys Wanna know something? I always thought lori was a semi intelligent woman BUT now I know different I have tried Begged cried and anything else I could to hold on to this goofy ass woman but she dont get it she just dont fuckin get it.Once again it's all my fault HER fucking son threatened to cut my throat and all she could say was thats don 4 ya or what if i was in his shoes well guess what LORI I WAS IN HIS FUCKING SHOES YOU FUCKIN DUMBASS!!! I woluld NEVER take that shit from my children (although my kids know better than to run their mouths like that i teach mine to respect others she teaches hers to fuck with people before they fuck with them) so why would I take it from anyone elses? This woman acts like she is a saint I should of ran like hell when she told me she was in a nut ward but NO..... I thought this woman was good for me I thought she had shit together but all she can do is bullshit people. she had told me she had been raped as a child BUT supposedly she was surrounded by her mother all the time because she had reumatic fever or so shit like that (whatever it was she was bed ridden all the time) she told me she had been rapped by the guy that was living with her BUT when I tried to protect her I was the asshole. Now I may be crazy here but if someone rapes you ,you dont want ANYTHING to do with them so once again ...More than likely LIES!!! all my niceness is gone for this woman NOW lori stay the fuck away from me dont email or ANYTHING I am sick you you and your fucking lies and bullshit. will she always be in my heart??? she will never know.all i know is I cant allow myself to be hurt by this woman any longer. GOD DAMNIT JUST STAY AWAY!

Here is the bullshit she first wrote coming soon

(Background Image Provded by One of my great friends Kevin/Imperial/xCFHx Malorian) He is also doing the new graphics for the CFH Site

Ok Today is the first time I ever read the words to this song although I am a Fan of meatloaf I have to say the celene dion version is the one for Lori and I (the meatloaf version cuts out a couple lines)

ANYWAY LORI READ THIS IS THIS WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE AFRAID OF? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING EVEN NOW YOU STILL DONT TRUST YOURSELF AROUND ME AND YOU KNOW IT YOU KNOW THIS SONG IS THE END RESULT OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN YOU COULDNT KEEP FROM KISSING ME THEN AND YOU STILL CANT DO IT.

Performed by Celine Dion on the album Falling Into You.

There were nights when the wind was so cold That my body froze in bed If I just listened to it Right outside the window There were days when the sun was so cruel That all the tears turned to dust And I just knew my eyes were Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left And I can't remember where or when or how And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this And you hold me like that I just have to admit That it's all coming back to me When I touch you like this And I hold you like that It's so hard to believe but It's all coming back to me (It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold And there were flashes of light There were things I'd never do again But then they'd always seemed right There were nights of endless pleasure It was more than any laws allow Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this And you whisper like that It was lost long ago But it's all coming back to me If you want me like this And if you need me like that It was dead long ago But it's all coming back to me It's so hard to resist And it's all coming back to me I can barely recall But it's all coming back to me now But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies And whenever you tried to hurt me I just hurt you even worse And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days When alone at last we'd count up all the chances That were lost forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door And I made myself so strong again somehow And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this And if you kiss me like that It was so long ago But it's all coming back to me

If you touch me like this And if I kiss you like that It was gone wth the wind But it's all coming back to me (It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)

There were moments of gold And there were flashes of light There were things we'd never do again But then they'd always seemed right There were nights of endless pleasure It was more than any laws allow Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this And when you hold me like that It was gone with the wind But it's all coming back to me When you see me like this And when I see you like that Then we see what we want to see All coming back to me The flesh and the fantasies All coming back to me I can barely recall But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this And I forgive you all that We forgive and forget And it's all coming back to me When you see me like this And when I see you like that We see just what we want to see All coming back to me I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

(It's all coming back to me now) And when you kiss me like that (It's all coming back to me now) And when I touch you like that (It's all coming back to me now) If you do it like this (It's all coming back to me now) And if we . . .

AND IT'S SO FUCKIN SAD THAT 2 ADULTS CANT GET PAST THE BULLSHIT AND FIND THE HAPPINESS WITHIN THEM OH WELL THATS FUCKIN LOVE FOR YOU.

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Papa Roach:What do you do? off of the Paramour sessions

I got a one-way ticket on a hell-bound train With nothing to lose and nothing to gain Nobody ever taught me how to live

I'm feeling like I'm lost- like I'll never be found I'm twisted and I'm turned around Nobody ever taught me how to love

I'm hurting everybody I'm hurting myself I'm desperate

So what do you do When it all comes down on you? Do you run and hide Or face the truth? So what do you do When it all comes down on you? Do you run and hide Or face the truth?

If you were to tell me that I'd die today This is what I'd have to say I never really had the time to live And if you were to give me just another chance Another life, another dance All I really want to do is love

I'm hurting everybody, I'm hurting myself, I'm desperate,

So what do you do When it all comes down on you? Do you run and hide Or face the truth? So what do you do When it all comes down on you? Do you run and hide Or face the truth?

When all is said and done you could be the one With open arms and open eyes You're jumping off the edge and hoping you can fly Accept your fate for what it is

Into the great unknown...Yeah

So what do you do When it all comes down on you? Do you run and hide Or face the truth?

So what do you do When it's all turned around on you on you? Do you run and hide Or face the truth?

So what do you do?,what do you do?,what do ya do?

DO YOU RUN AND HIDE?OR FACE THE TRUTH?

...got a one-way ticket on a hell-bound train with notin to loose or nothin to gain

Listen to this close Lori It pertains to both of us you more because your nature is to run and hide thats ok though for such a strong woman you are weaker than you think.This is the song i was listening to before I got ran off the fuckin road.Its the one that opened my eyes.

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Babylon A.D-Bad Blood

Well you better get yourself another,another fool. Cause I've danced for the last time like a shoeshine boy being kicked and bruised

I've read the writing on the wall we never really had no chance at all and I've lost that certain type of respect cause you've done to me some things I know you will regret

Bad blood pumpin runnin hot through my veins I tried to compromise but there aint much more to say Bad blood pumpin runnin straight to my brain I've got to warn ya theres bad blood pumpin in me.Bad Blood

You play with me and my emotions,break the rules but I've heard your lies,your allibies and the promises you failed to do

I dont need a doctor to figure you out dont need no lawer to cast my doubts cause your point of view is plain to see youve tried your best but youll never bring me to my knees

Well you better get yourself another,another fool. Cause I've danced for the last time like a shoeshine boy being kicked and bruised

I've read the writing on the wall we never really had no chance at all and those things you done someday youll regret my temperatures rising and theres bad blood pumpin

Bad blood pumpin runnin hot through my veins I tried to compromise but there aint much more to say Bad blood pumpin runnin straight to my brain I tried to set it straight but i guess i gotta break these chains

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Papa Roach: Scars

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut My weakness is that I care too much My scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone I'm pissed cause you came around Why don't you just go home Cause you channel all your pain And I can't help to fix myself Your making me insane All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut My weakness is that I care too much our scars remind us that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once Against my own advice I saw you going down But you never realized That your drowning in the water So I offered you my hand Compassions in my nature Tonight is our last dance

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut My weakness is that I care too much our scars remind us that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone You shouldn't ever came around Why don't you just go home? Cause your drowning in the water And I tried to grab your hand And I left my heart open But you didn't understand But you didn't understand GO FIX YOURSELF

I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut My weakness is that I care too much our scars remind us that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut My weakness is that I care too much OUR scars remind US that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel

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Lillian Axe: See you someday

Every now and then, I feel the autumn wind And then I think of you It lingers for a lifetime, and holds my breath in check I don't know what to do.

Did you think I would see it coming Turn around, look at me I'm running Now, my love Through the years, all the pain and suffering Children's cries, amount to nothing Rise above

What you see is what you get Stake your life now, place your bet You better believe I know, I'll be letting you go.

Will you ever know what I wanted to say? Maybe you'll find a way Maybe I'll be alright Remember this night and I'll see you someday.

Many nights, I listened to The sounds that made me cry and kept My soul awake

But even in the darkness, I could see the endless oceans That our tears would make.

Why'd you lay our love to rest? Gave it up, put it to the test of time, my love My life's just not the same Not a question of who's to blame, I'll rise above

Don't you know that Love is War That's what we're living for You better believe I know, I'll be letting you go

Will you ever know what I wanted to say? Maybe you'll find a way Maybe I'll be alright Remember this night And I'll see you someday.

Will you ever know what I wanted to say? Maybe you'll find a way Maybe I'll be alright

Remember this night, and I'll See You Someday. Will you ever know what I wanted to say? Maybe you'll find a way Maybe I'll be alright Remember this night, and I'll See Ya, I'll See You Someday

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Kingofthehill: If I say

Laying here baby counting stars Want to know how it got this far, baby Just you and me How could we say didn't know The heartache of letting go babe Couldn't you see I don't know Yeah

[Chorus] I've been missing you If I see you tomorrow Don't you know it's not too long babe If I see you crying Can you see our love's so strong You gotta know, I said I think I need you

Rain may go away, and come back some other day, babe I need the sun to shine It doesn't matter, don't you know Doesn't matter where I go, baby You're always on my mind I need you there

[Repeat Chorus]

I need you there I've been missing you

If I see you tomorrow Don't you know it's not too long babe If I see you crying You gotta know our love's that strong babe If I hear your lonely, don't you know I'll be there If I see

I need to tell you baby I said that I think that I love you

______________________________________________________

This concludes my Bitter part of the page.Posted Nov/14/2006

This is one of those times I miss,love,and cant stand lori. WHAT THE FUCK!!! another famous quote by the great one "once im with a man he is never the same" WELL FUCKIN THANKS ALOT!!!!.Just once more lori why did you target me? Because I really have to fuckin know.sending an email like you gave a shit...... just nevermind im so fuckin sick of your fake ass bullshit dont worry about me I'll be fine I've lived 35 years with bullshit and unfortunatly I'll live more.Just dont ACT like you give a shit... just dont do it just worry about your new fuck boy.

xCFHx%20Syxx

This is my page for Lori. Everything I write in here is my complete true feelings no Bullshit some thinngs she knows and somethings she don't(part of my fear of rejection and trust)But anyway Lori when you read this this is everything that I HONESTLY think about you reguardless of how I act on my childish rampages.All I ask of you woman is not to throw them back at me.

Ok This woman is the ONLY one I have ever dealt with that has completly disturbed my life in wonderful and in bad ways. She(although she doesn't see it) She has the power to make me feel :

Acceptance, Agitation, Alarm, Amusement, Anger, Angst, Anticipation,Apathy, Awe, Bitterness, Calmness, Comfort, Contentment, Confidence, Confusion, Courage, Depression, Disappointment, Discontentment, Disgust, Desire, Delight , Embarrassment, Fear, Frustration, Glee, Gladness, Gratitude, Grief, Guilt, Happiness, Hope, Horror, Humility Joy, Jealousy , Kindness, Loneliness, Love, Lust, Nervousness, Pain, Patience, Peace, Pride ,Rage, Remorse, Sadness, Shyness, Sorrow, Shock, Surprise, Suspense, Terror, Unhappiness and ,Worry.

Just to name a couple. :)

yes she has the power to bring those out but she also has the power to : when I'm angry to calm me ,when I'm jealous to relax me, and when I'm wired to soothe me and she can turn me on with a simple wink.

Is this too much power for a woman to have over a man?Maybe so ... I have wanted This woman since the first time I ever laid eyes on her and at one point I had her but I severly fucked up and now I completly regret it. NOW I will not take full credit for everything considering it takes 2 but I will take 75% of it therefore making me the asshole I told her I would keep the mean shit out of here and I will BUT never said anything about keeping the good stuff out.

First time Lori and I went out in public by ourselves not as a date or anything but just to hang out she had to find a new outfit for a funeral she had to attend so I went with her I/we had alot of fun just talking and searching for things for her to wear and let me tell you guys everything she put on looked great on her EVERYTHING!!!! As I watched her try each new outfit I just kept thinking to myself my god this woman is beautiful everytime those big blue doe eyes of hers would make contact with mine I just wanted to kiss her with total passion. By this point we had become pretty good friends we we're always joking around,talking,and yes even some flirting had been going on It was obvious that there was attraction. Anyway (this is one thing I'll never forget as long as I live) we went walking around looking for shoes (she said she had alot and I found out later how much The woman loves shoes) then we went through the hat isle she pointed out this hiddiously ugly ass blue hat and I really did not like this thing but then she grabbed it and put it on and OH MY GOD SHE LOOKED SO FUCKIN HOT!!!!!!! I just wanted to grab her right there and have my way with her. But I was good boy but that image still burns in my head and to this day all I can think about is how hot she looked with that damn hat.

Now this Part might embarrass her,But I hope it doesnt piss her off

Me and Lori was ALWAYS talking either on the phone or through texting we always seemed to like to talk to each other some goofy,some,serious,some sexual,and some just to hear each other talk but we got this thing going on about who would be better in the sack well so many challenges came up so when we actually decided to go foward with sex we found out we were pertty much evenly matched but hey it was the first time anyone can put on a great performance once so we tried again and again and again and well you get the idea you know not once was she an upset to me She was ALWAYS amazing although I was to her one time but I was under pressure with a time limit she knows what I'm talking about :). Now noone on either side could make each other so happy like that over and over again UNLESS ..... It was real (I have been through my fair share of women and let me tell you none of them kept me wanting her as much as Lori did with me and as far as I know the feelings are the same with her).It was odd when we made love it was NOT like just fucking any woman. I became A totaly different person and so did she.in those moments we just let go it's hard to explain but the true lori and Dave came out in those intimate sessions and they are ones I'll NEVER forget as long as I live.....

Now I have Mentioned the sexual,and the physical(visual) Parts I Know we we're into each other on a visual standpoint as well as the sexual but the next part may be new to her or it might not be.

This woman could make me so calm with just a touch.Her touch alone could calm raging waters inside me if I was having a bad day IF she held me or gave me physical (not sexual) attention that woman would do wonders for me. I remember times well actually still that all I wanted was to be in her arms I guess thats what made it so hard to leave her. For the first time in my life I finally felt wanted,loved,needed,cherished, and safe I wanted to trust her completly god knows how much I wanted to trust her with my whole life.

Lori and I BOTH have been through alot in life and it's strange how two people going through similar experiances could end up two totaly different personalities Lori was more passive,alot of times more calm,thought things out and tried to see the good in people(unless pushed too far then she can be leathel). Now Dave on the other hand was more aggressive,spoke before thinking(a bad habit I hope to get rid of some day),no reguard for anyones feelings,and would do anything to beat someone to the punch on hurting them before they hurt him.

And these personalities clashed although alot could of been avoided if I would of stopped and thought things out and same goes for her as well we had just been so damned determined not to let the other get the best of them and as a result you have two people who are NOW evenly matched on pain. Pain that we caused on each other .Pain that should of never been but it is there because of pride.Not to mention all the other assholes in our past that jaded us before we got to experiance our lives together dont get me wrong I'm not completly blaming people of our past but lets face it the more we are burnt the more we put up walls. But even now Lori and I cant find a way to hate each other no matter what we have said or done to each other we both still go through hell when we cant contact each other and to top it all off we still .... Love each other. Love NEVER in my life did I ever realize how strong it could be. now I know, now I know how much It can tear my world apart ,how much it could keep me alive,how much it could make my day,how much it could hurt,how much it could make me wish I was dead and I dont think in this situation im the only one. Lori brought me back to life when I met her she made me feel so great and I know I did her as well(when we wernt fighting) so many people knew how happy I could make her and she did the same with me. Now I just want someone to explain this to me. how could 2 people who had this to offer each other why couldnt we of worked through it? I did and still believe she is the one for me or soul mates there is no way 2 people could have this kind of effect on each other and not be.there is no way 2 people could continue to feel so strong about each other and not be. SHIT I would of married that woman in a heartbeat if we could of worked through it and with no regrets.I am gonna continue to fight for lori (maybe not in the way i did before, still as hard but not as forceful) I honestly dont see my life without her in it but I know I must change ALOT of things she means that much to me that I am willing to do that For her for me and for us even if we only stay friends(which is on thin ice right now) at least she is in my life we went 2 months without talking to each other and it damn near killed us.So back to my question How can it end like this?

Lori Dawn I do and ALWAYS will love you!and....I Surrender I've been an ass to you for way to long I cant expect you to believe me but you'll see maybe I can earn some trust back sometime between now and the time I die?

Now for my entire song list for Lori soon the songs will be clickable to go in and see the vid. Just click the underlined titles to go into the next page.And lori try to pay close attention to the meatloaf song it got me to see alot

Posted Nov/11/2006 4:46 am

It's obvious that lori never loved or cared about me half as much as I loved and cared about her so am I gonna fuck the site up?..no Am I gonna sit here and call her names and blame everything on her?...no.Something I should of picked up on a long time ago She is way to wild for anyone to tame I'm done with the crying,the hopes,the dreams and the depression earlier I was in a car accident fucked my car up (hell I just got the damn thing 2 days ago) I managed to get a couple stitches and broke my right arm now normally I would have been paying closer attention to ASSHOLES on the road not paying attention but because I have far too many worries (not just lori but other things as well) my mind wasnt on the road where it should of been.I wanted to call her but I knew it wouldnt of done any good so It's time to let her go completly.I'll always love her and I'll always hope she is fine but i cant hold on anymore....I just can't.

Goodbye Lori

With love,

Dave/xCFHx Syxx

One more question I keep asking myself....when me and lori was together she made the comment"I always come up on top" well lori who came out on top of this one? I sure as hell didnt so was it you? if so I would like to know how? By completly fucking me up? because you held my heart in my hands just to destroy it? how the hell did you come up on top of this one?

BLOOD (EMPTY PROMISES)

Click here to see this song dont want lori to know till she goes in.It's one of her favorite songs well it used to be anyways

Bon Jovi - Always

Creed- Dont stop Dancin

The Cult - Painted on my heart

Def Leppard -Long Long way to go

Def Leppard - Goodbye

Def Leppard-When love and hate collide

Dr Hook- A little bit more

Meatloaf - I'd lie for you(and thats the truth)

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