Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle (a Yu-Gi-Oh parody of Lord of the Rings)
Written by Naomi
Author's Notes- You know, when I took up this idea of writing a Yu-Gi-Oh parody, I had a tough time figuring out who I was going to cast as who, what jokes to make during which time, and all of that other stuff in between. I sometimes felt really pressured by the idea of doing this fic... it took time, it took energy.... most of those which I didn't have, seeing that I had school and exams right around the corner. But I guess that's why I have my friends here to back me. So I guess this last chapter (I'm not counting the Epilogue) of Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle is really dedicated to my friends Jacob, Meg, Ed, Allie, and Jessie, for really sticking with me to the very end of this story. Without their help, I couldn't have done this. I couldn't have made Lord of the Millenium Items the great parody that it was. Thanks a lot guys, for sticking with me, even though I was late on some of the chapters.... ^^; But it means a lot to me. You guys are the best!
As always, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Lord of the Rings. I'm just a harmless, rabid fan. I don't own Makoré, Jacob does and I don't own CJ, because Meg does. I do own Naomi ^^ Flames/comments/whatever are directed to CardCaptor505@aol.com. And a big thank you to Jessie for hosting this fic on Crayon Vision!
Now enough with this long author's notes that no one reads. On with the parody!
Chapter 6 - Are We Done YET?!
*scene opens to the Fellowship walking through a woodland area. Mokuba draws Yugi and Joey close to him*
Mokuba: They say a sorceress lives here... an elf-witch of terrible power. She can see into the future and predict what will become of you.
*Yugi hears the voice of Isis in the air, whispering to him in the distance*
Isis: Frodo.... your coming is as the footsteps of doom-
Yami Malik: DOOM! AH HA HA! HA HA HA!
Isis: Be quiet! This is the first time I'm actually being shown in the movie! I won't let you spoil it! *pushes her brother off stage*
Yami Malik: Aw... no doom? You're not fair...
Isis: *clears her throat* You bring a great evil here, Itembearer.
Yami Malik: EEEEEEVIL!!!!
Isis: Rrrr..... just shut up already, dammit! *punches Yami Malik across the face*
Yami Malik: Ow!!!! ><
Yugi: o.o (try to imagine how he feels, having to listen to *that*...)
Mokuba: Well, this is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily! I have the eyes of a hawk, and the ears of a fox!
Joey: You must look very weird......
*in a split second, the Fellowship is surrounded by wood elves with their drawn bows pointed at them. The elves' leader, Mako Tsunami, steps forward*
Mako: You guys suck at sneaking into places like this! We could have shot you the moment you entered this forest.
Yami: Haldir of Lorien, we were not sneaking around. We have come for help. We need your protection.
Kaiba: I don't know how you pansy little elves could protect us at all... *pouts, because he lost the Duel against Yami and his one opportunity to be the leader*
Mako: *glares at Kaiba, and lets his gaze shift over the Fellowship* You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. *turns* Come. She is waiting.
*scene changes to the heart of the forest, Lothlorien. The Fellowship is brought before Croquet and Isis on a giant tree-castle..... place*
Croquet: *his eyes widen* Where is Master Gandalf?! *runs over to Yugi, picks him up, and shakes him* WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MASTER?!?!?!
Isis: *her Millenium Necklace glows faintly* He has fallen into the shadows of Moria.....
Croquet: *starts to panic* Don't worry Master Gandalf! *jumps off of the side of the large tree-castle that is 100 stories tall* I'LL SAVE YOOOOOOU!!!! *crashes to the ground*
Members of the Fellowship: ^^;
Isis: *sighs* First my brother, and now this... *turns back to the Fellowship* This quest stands on the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin or all. Yet hope remains as long as the company is true. *looks at Kaiba*
Kaiba: *automatically looks away* Hn!
Isis: *looks over the other members of the Fellowship, seemingly very kind now* Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest, for you are weary with sorrow. Tonight you shall sleep in peace.
Yugi: *smile, but is startled when he hears Isis speaking in his head again*
Isis: Welcome, Frodo of the Shire, one who has seen the eye!
Yami Malik: And who's eye is that? MINE!
Isis: For crying out loud! *grabs the Millenium Rod from her brother and wacks him with it*
Yami Malik: Owwww! ><
*scene changes to the area around the roots of a large tree, where the Fellowship has decided to spend the night at. A calm song fills the air*
Kaiba: *growls* SHUT UP ALREADY! WE'RE TRYIN' TO SLEEP!
*the singing stops*
Kaiba: That's more like it. *settles down and goes to sleep*
Bakura: Why's Boromir acting so mean?
Joey: What do you mean 'acting'? He's always like this!
Mokuba: *sigh* It's almost time for the scene when Boromir dies.... so he's just overly annoyed with the whole thing.
Kaiba: *growls in his sleep* Die, Aragorn, DIE!
Bakura and Joey: o.o
Mokuba: It's best just to stay away from him for now.... ^^;
*the members of the Fellowship got to sleep. Isis is seen passing by. Yugi wakes and follows her to a place in the woods. Isis is waiting for him, holding her Millenium Necklace in her hand*
Isis: Will you look into the future?
Yugi: ... what will I see?
Isis: Not even the wisest can say, for the Necklace shows many things. Things that are, things that were, and things that have not yet come to pass. *puts the necklace around Yugi's neck*
Yugi: *stands for a second and then falls face first into the grass* Ack!!! This thing weighs a ton! *he struggles to stand and succeeds. When Yugi in on his feet, the necklace starts to glow and begins to show images in his mind. He sees Bakura, Tristan, Tea, and Joey. He sees the Shire being overrun by Orcs and Hobbits in chains. Then, Yugi sees the giant, flaming eye. It tries to pull the puzzle out of Yugi's pocket*
Yami Malik: My eeeeeeye!!!!! It buuuuuuurns!!!
Naomi: *drags Yami Malik away* You're not supposed to be in this scene! Hell, you're supposed to be dead by now!!!
Yugi: *pants and takes the necklace off. He then hands it back to Isis*
Isis: I know what it is you have seen, for it is also in my mind. The Fellowship is breaking... it has already begun. He will try to take the puzzle. You know of whom I speak... One by one, it will destroy them all.
Yugi: *thinks for a while in silence. He looks to Isis* If you ask of me.... I will give you the Millenium Puzzle.
Isis: *looks at the puzzle that Yugi offers to her* You give it to me freely? ... but I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this..... *is suddenly overcome by a dark force* Instead of a Dark Lord, you would have a QUEEN! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DISPAIR!!!
Yugi: O_____o!!! Now I see the family relation of you and Malik!
Yami Malik: *dries the corner of his eye with a cloth* I know... isn't it so beautiful??? I taught her everything she knows!
Isis: *stops yelling and appears normal again. She backs away from the puzzle and sighs* I passed the test.... I will diminish, and go to the West, and remain Galadriel.
Yugi: *is greatly disturbed by Isis' actions and is gravely scared of continuing the quest* ..... I cannot do this alone...
Isis: *smiles, suddenly becoming understanding* You are an Itembearer, Frodo. To bear a Millenium Item is to be alone. This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way... no one will.
Yugi: *nods* Then, I know what I must do... it's just I am afraid to do it.
Isis: Goddammit!!! It doesn't matter how scared you are! Just destroy the stupid puzzle!!!
Yugi: ^^;;;; Okay, okay!
*scene changes to Yami Bakura's castle*
Yami Bakura: *looks over A VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER* ... DAMN! You ARE one ugly ONE!
A VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER: *sniffle* It's just a skin condition!!!
Yami Bakura: ... OY. Why do I get stuck with the weird ONES? *goes outside and addresses his army of Orcs* The time has COME! Hunt down the FELLOWSHIP! Do not stop until you find THEM! You do not know pain, you do not know FEAR! You will taste... MAN-FLESH? What the HELL?!
Naomi: Don't ask me! It was in the script!
Makoré: *snickers* Maaaan flesssssh!
Yami Bakura: *sighs and looks to his Orc army* Just go capture the Hobbits and kill the OTHERS! And do it QUICKLY!
*scene changes to the Fellowship leaving Lothlorien in boats on the river. Isis comes out to bid them goodbye*
Isis: Farewell Frodo Baggins. I give you the light of Earendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out.
Yugi: *takes the small bottle and examines it* This... is just water!
Isis: Of course it is! Did you honestly think I could store light of a star in that bottle?
Yugi: I suppose not... ^^;
*the Fellowship row their boats away from Lothlorien. A long way down the river, Yami starts to hum a song to pass the time*
Yami: Row, row, row your boat, gently down a stream-
Kaiba: *interrupts Yami with his own twisted verse* - throw a Hobbit over board and listen to it scream!
Yugi, Joey, Tristan, and Téa: o.o!
Yami: *casts a warning glare at Kaiba*
*after a while, the Fellowship reaches a beach and decides to make camp in the area*
Yami: We leave at nightfall, hiding the boats and moving on foot. We will approach Mordor from the north.
Kaiba: Hn! Just like a ranger to lead us to Emyn Muil, the impassable labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks! And then, oh joy! Festering, stinking marshes as far as the eye-
Yami Malik: My eeeeeeye!!!!
Kaiba: Arrrg!!! *picks up a piece of driftwood and beats Yami Malik back, sending him falling into the river*
Yami: *walks over to Kaiba, grabs him by the collar, and flings him to the ground* What the hell is WITH you?! Just sit there and do something constructive!
Kaiba: *sits and mumbles* Stupid leader.... I otta take the Horn of Gondor and stick it up his &%$^'in ass!
Bakura: *decides to speak up before Yami and Kaiba kill each other* I think we should leave this place.....
Yami: *growls* No! Orcs patrol the eastern shore. Do you want Frodo to be killed or something?!
Tea: *looks up* Where is Frodo anyway?
Mokuba: Boromir is missing also...
Yami: &^%$! *runs off into the forest*
*scene changes to Yugi walking in the forest, and Kaiba finds him*
Kaiba: None of us should wander alone in woods like these... but I know why you seek solitude like this. You suffer, day by day... *looks at the pocket that Yugi kept the Millenium Puzzle in* There are.... other paths we might take, Frodo....
Yugi: Go away Boromir. Yami has told me not to trust you.
Kaiba: What does it matter? They are all afraid... but to let fear drive us to destroy what hope we have? It's madness!
Yugi: You are the only "mad" thing around here. The Puzzle is evil and it must be destroyed. *sees Kaiba eyeing his pocket and backs away*
Kaiba: Why do you recoil?! I am no thief...
Yugi: You've wanted the Puzzle all along!
Kaiba: I only ask for the strength to RULE THE WORLD! You should only... lend me the puzzle...
Yugi: No!
Kaiba: No one can protect you! Not Yami, not Joey... not even yourself! I will find you, I will take the puzzle, and I will RULE THE WORLD!!!! It could be mine! It should be mine!! GIVE IT TO ME!!! *leaps at Yugi*
Yugi: NO!!! *slips the puzzle over his neck and kicks Kaiba in the shins. He then runs to a stone platform and takes the puzzle off. Yami comes by and sees him*
Yami: Frodo?
Yugi: ..... it has taken Boromir.
Yami: I'm not surprised. *looks at Yugi* Where is the puzzle?
Yugi: *backs away from him* Don't come any closer!
Yami: *is shocked* Frodo? I swore to protect you!
Yugi: Can you protect me from yourself? Would YOU destroy it?! *holds the puzzle out to Yami*
Yami: *watches the puzzle that Yugi offers to him. Yami reaches out and pushes it back to Yugi* I would have gone with you to the end... into the very fires of Mordor...
Yugi: I know... take good care of the others. Well, except for Boromir. And watch over Sam... he will not understand why I'm going.
Yami: *hugs Yugi and backs away. He senses something* Go Frodo!!!
Yugi: *eyes grow wide with fear as he sees the coming Orcs*
Yami: Run!!! Run, NOW!
A VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER: Find them!!! Find the Halflings!!!
*Yugi takes off in the opposite direction of the Orcs. Yami unsheathes his wooden sword, determined to keep the Orcs away from his Hikari. Yami fights a lot of Orcs, actually killing some with his sword. Bakura and Mokuba, armed with a wooden axe and plastic darts, join in the fight when they hear that Yami is in trouble. The scene changes to Yugi hiding behind a tree, and seeing Tristan and Téa*
Tristan: Frodo! Here, hide with us!
Yugi: *looks at them with a feared expression*
Tristan: *in confusion* What's he doing?
Téa: He's leaving...
Tristan: No, Frodo! *he runs out of his hiding spot, followed by Téa. They are spotted by the Orcs, and Téa determines that they must create a distraction for Yugi*
Téa: Run, Frodo! Go! *waves her arms at the oncoming Orcs* Hey, you! Over here! This way!
*Tristan and Téa run, leading the Orcs with them. Yugi takes off the other way*
Tristan: Wow! It's working!
Téa: Of course it's working! RUN!
*Tristan and Téa come to a bridge and are cornered by two groups of Orcs. It seems like the end for them, but Kaiba appears and kills many Orcs*
Téa: Boromir! You're here!
Kaiba: Don't get too thankful! I'm only here to kill some Orcs!
Téa: ^^; Gee.... how could I have seen that one coming?
*Kaiba blows on the Horn of Gondor, attracting more Orcs and in the distance, the remainder of the Fellowship. A VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER takes aim at Kaiba and prepares to kill him*
Kaiba: Oh no you don't, you %*&^#!!!! *takes his wooden sword, does a flying leap across the battlefield, and slams his 'blade' down on the VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER'S head, breaking the wooden thing in half and knocking the VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER out cold*
Naomi: Boromir!!! You were supposed to die!!!
Kaiba: I don't feel like dying today! BOROMIR LIVES!!!! AHAHAHAHA- *is stopped by C.J dropping a giant rock on Kaiba's head*
C.J: Ehehehehe!!!! XP *scampers away*
Naomi: o.o Um... I guess he's dead now...
*the battle resumes and the Orcs capture Tristan and Téa. Yami arrives to see Kaiba slumped against a tree*
Yami: ..... *whispers to Naomi* What am I going to do? He can't respond to me!
Naomi: *whispers back* Leave it to me! I'll fix this! *runs over behind the tree, sticks some plastic darts on his chest, and pushes the back of his head, to make it look like he's still alive, with her hand* They.... took the little ones....
Yami: ... that's the best you can do?
Naomi: On such short notice! Just get on with the script!!!
Yami: This is so stupid... *looks at the plastic darts on Kaiba's chest* Um... are you dead yet?
Naomi: YAMI!!!
Yami: All right, all right! *looks at Kaiba* I know not what strength lies in my blood, but I swear to you. I will not let the White City fall. Nor our people fall.
Naomi: *tilts Kaiba's head* Our people... our people.... *pushes his head up* I would have followed you..... my brother.... my captain.... my king.....
Yami: That's a load of crap. You would do no such thing! *reads his script* OO!!! NAOMI!
Naomi: What?! Go on, say the final lines to Boromir!
Yami: ..... I can't!!! It says I have to... kiss him!
Naomi: Oh geeze! It's just on the forehead! Quit being a baby! *Yami doesn't move* ... Lord. You try to make a movie.... *gets up and sneaks around Yami without him noticing her. She carefully takes aim and kicks the ancient spirit right square in the butt. Yami falls face forward and kisses Kaiba right smack on the forehead*
Yami: OO!!!!
*and to make matters worse for poor Yami, Bakura and Mokuba enter the scene at that very moment*
Mokuba: O_____o
Bakura: o.o Woah... Yami... I never knew you were like... that.
Yami: *leaps up very quickly and looks for Naomi, who has ran away as fast as she could. Yami looks back at the uncontious Kaiba* Yeah, well good riddance to that stupid moron! We didn't need him anyway!
*scene changes to Yugi standing at the shoreline around the boats, holding the Millenium Puzzle in his hand. Joey is searching for him in the distance*
Joey: Frodo? Mr. Frodo?!
Yugi: I wish the puzzle had never come to me.... I wish none of this had ever happened... *he makes up his mind, puts the puzzle back in his pocket, and rows off in a boat. Joey arrives on the shore to see Yugi go*
Joey: Frodo! Mr. Frodo!!!
Yugi: *says silently* No Sam....
Joey: *starts to wade into the water*
Yugi: Go back Sam! I'm going to Mordor ALONE!
Joey: Of course you are! That's why I'm going with you! *he keeps wading into the water*
Yugi: *now with worry in his voice* You can't swim! SAM!!!
Joey: *gets in way over his head and disappears into the water. Yugi turns his boat around and pulls Sam into it. After spitting up a good amount of water, Joey talks to Yugi again* I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise! "Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to... I don't mean to! *he hugs Yugi, who returns it to him.
Yugi: Oh Sam... come on. Let's go. *the two start to paddle the boat to the opposite shoreline*
*scene changes to Kaiba's body in a boat floating over a waterfall. Yami has a very pleased look on his face as he goes over. Bakura takes one of the boats and pushes it into the water*
Bakura: Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the Eastern Shore! *he looks at Yami, who is still basking in the moment of Kaiba's death* .... you mean not to follow them?
Yami: *snaps back to reality* I trust Frodo will get the job done without us....
Mokuba: Well then what the hell were we traveling with them for?! The Fellowship has just been a waste of time!
Yami: Not as long as we remain true to each other..... we will not abandon Merry and Pippin to the torment and death. Not while we have strength left in us.
Mokuba: *is now compelled by Yami's words* Let's go hunt some &$%^in' Orcs!!!
*Yami, Bakura, and Mokuba run off into the woods, and the scene changes to Frodo and Sam looking over to a dark world of volcanoes and black land*
Yugi: Man.... this place looks like crap.
Joey: Couldn't agree with you more, Mr. Frodo....
Yugi: I don't suppose we'll ever see Yami again...
Joey: You never know, Mr. Frodo. You never know.
Yugi: Okay.... you can stop with the 'Mr.' thing now..... *looks to the lands of Mordor and laughs* Sam.... I'm glad you're with me...
The End of Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle!
AN- Wait? That's it? Oh.... you were expecting me to do The Two Towers and Return of the King as well? Hm..... we'll see. Maybe that's why I'm going to make a special Epilogue story, explaining what I'm going to do next. Well, anyway, it's been real great doing this story. Who knows, since this one was so fun to do, maybe I will do TTT and RotK (when RotK comes out, mind you.). Now that all of that is done... go read the Epilogue to see what I'm going to do next! ^^
