Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle (a Yu-Gi-Oh parody of Lord of the Rings)
Written by Naomi

Author's Notes- W00T! I finally got around to writing the forth chapter! ^.^ Happy day! Like always, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Lord of the Rings or the Peanut Butter Jelly song OR the Firds. I don't own Ryu, Ed does. I DO own Naomi. That's just about all that I own. Anyway, I hope you like this new installment of The Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle! ^.~ Flame/Comment/whatnot in an e-mail and mail it to CardCaptor505@aol.com
Thank you Jessie for sacrificing web space for this fic on Crayon Vision! :3

Chapter 4 - The Council of Shadi and the Dreaded Kiss of Mai!

*scene opens to Yugi lying on a bed in a bright room*

Yugi: Wha.... where am I?

Pegasus: You are in the House of Elrond, and it is ten in the morning, on October the 24th, Frodo-boy.

Yugi: ...... o.o! *looks over to see Pegasus sitting on the edge of his bed, very, very, VERY close to him* GAH! GANDALF'S IN MY BED!!!! *tries to scamper away*

Pegasus: Of Frodo! I knew you missed me! *glomps him*

Yugi: *flails around. He finally breaks free and falls off of the bed. Yugi stares at Pegasus, but quickly recovers* Where were you?! And why didn't you stay there?!

Pegasus: Awwww, I knew you cared for me! *smiles* Well, when I was away....

*flashback to the top of Yami Bakura's castle*

Yami Bakura: It is OVER! Embrace the power of the Puzzle or embrace your own DESTRUCTION! *thinks for a second* .... just don't embrace ME!

Pegasus: Um..... *runs and jumps off of the tower* Fly into your soooooooul!

*CRASH!*

*end of flashback*

Yugi: O.o

Pegasus: I bet you're wondering how I survived the fall?

Yugi: If you lived from it, I really don't care.

Pegasus: It was my love for you that brought me back here!!!

Yugi: O_____o

*suddenly, Joey and Shadi enter the room*

Joey: Oh Frodo! You're awake!

Pegasus: *glares at Joey* Can't you see that we're having a 'moment' here?!

Yugi: O.o No we're not!!!

*Joey and Pegasus start to argue (again), and Shadi steps forward*

Shadi: *in that weird accent of his* Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Baggins.

*scene changes to Yugi standing outside. Tristan and Téa rush to him, glad that he's okay. Yugi is surprised when he sees Grandpa is there as well*

Yugi: Bilbo!

Grandpa: Frodo, my lad! Hello!

Yugi: *looks over Grandpa's now finished book* There and Back Again, A Hobbit's Tale, by Bilbo Baggins. This is great!

Grandpa: *sighs* I've been writing so much, I've began to wish I could see those places once again. But it seems that age has caught up with me.

Yugi: .... I miss the Shire, Bilbo. All of those times I got into danger.... I'm not like you, Bilbo. I can't do this.

Grandpa: Have you forgotten all that I've taught you?! You have to believe in yourself before you start a journey, or you'll fail!

Yugi: O.o But I didn't fail....

*Grandpa continues to lecture Yugi, and the scene changes to Joey packing his bags*

Joey: Hm..... what have I forgotten?

Yugi: *walks up to Joey* Packing already?

Joey: *shrugs*

Yugi: I thought you wanted to flirt with the elf maidens, Sam....

Joey: *blushes* I do, but.... *his bag falls over, revealing pictures of Mai stuffed into it*

Yugi: .....

Joey: o.o! *quickly shuts his bag* ^^; You never saw that, okay?

*scene changes to Pegasus and Shadi watching Yugi and Joey*

Shadi: So his strength returns.

Pegasus: *sighs like a love-stricken girl* I know....

Shadi: ... the Hobbit has shown remarkable resilience to the puzzle's evil.

Pegasus: *suddenly gets serious* We can ask no more of Frodo. I will return with him to the Shire, and there will be no more talk of that puzzle.

Shadi: The enemy is moving, Gandalf. Our list of allies grows thin, as does our time. My people are leaving these shores and the dwarves hide in their mountains, not caring for anyone's troubles. Who will you turn to then?

Pegasus: We will place our hope in men.

Shadi: Men?! Men are weak. It is because of men that the puzzle survives!

*flashback to after the war with Yami Malik (Sauron)*

Shadi: *watches Rex take the puzzle* Follow me! *pulls Rex into the depths of Mount Doom* Throw it into the fire! Destroy it!

Rex: *gets a sneaky look and starts singing* It's getting hot in here, so-

Naomi: REX!!!!

Rex: Awww, you're no fun.... *looks back at Shadi* .... no.

Shadi: Isildur!

Rex: *turns to walk away, but trips and falls into the volcano* Iiiiiieeee!!!

Shadi: O.O! That wasn't supposed to happen!

Naomi: Don't worry, Rex didn't have the real Millenium Puzzle. *holds it up* Here it is!

Shadi: What about Rex?

Naomi: Um.... we don't have Isildur in any more scenes, right? ... well, then I guess we're okay! ^.^ Now, lets get out of this flashback and back to the movie!

*flashback ends*

Pegasus: o.o .....

Shadi: Um..... so, there is no strength in the world of men. They are scattered, divided, leaderless.

Pegasus: There is one who could unite them.

Shadi: He has turned from that path long ago. He has chosen exile.

*scene changes to Yami reading a book. Kaiba reluctantly enters the room, scowling as he approaches a stand with a broken sword on it*

Kaiba: *picks up the hilt of the sword* The shards of Narsil, the blade that cut the puzzle from Sauron's neck.

Yami Malik: Fear-! *Kaiba hits him on the top of the head with the sword hilt, knocking Yami Malik out*

Kaiba: *looks at the sword, quite pleased with himself. He runs a finger over the broken part and cuts himself. Kaiba's expression turns sour* Still sharp.... but no more than a broken hilt. *goes to put it back and notices Yami staring at him* What the hell do YOU want?! *lets go of the sword and leaves. The broken blade clangs to the floor*

Yami: ..... *picks up the blade and puts it back in its place*

*scene changes to a dark place in the forest where Mai and a VERY aggravated Yami stand*

Mai: *narrows her eyes and smiles at Yami, knowing what's coming* Why do you fear the past? You are Isildur's heir, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his fate.

Yami: It's not Isildur's past that bothers me. *bluntly* It's the past, when we met, that I fear, and how you've bound yourself to me.

Mai: *in a hopeful voice* Do you remember when we first met?

Yami: Sadly. I thought I had strayed into a dream.... and then I said- Please, somebody wake me up!!!

Mai: *giggles* Such a humor you have! Do you remember what I told you?

Yami: *shivers, remembering what she said that day* You said you would bind yourself to me.... though I wish you wouldn't....

Mai: And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of the world alone. I choose a mortal life. *gives Yami her necklace, the Evenstar*

Yami: You cannot give me this...

Mai: It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart.

Naomi: Here it comes.... the kiss.

Mai: *flings her arms out* GIVE ME A KISS!!!!

Yami: O_O!!!! *runs away into the night, screaming, with Mai chasing after him*

Ryu: ..... um.... that went well.

Naomi: Shut up....

*scene changes to a council meeting of Yugi, Yami, Pegasus, Shadi, Kaiba, Mokuba, Bakura, and a bunch of useless extras!*

Shadi: Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You are summoned her to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle Earth stands on the brink of destruction. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom. *glances at Yugi* Bring forth the puzzle, Frodo.

*Yugi puts the puzzle on a stand in the center of the council, seemingly relieved to get rid of it. Murmurs of the council fill the air as they look upon the puzzle*

Kaiba: *jumps up* Why not give the puzzle to me?! I could use it! I could take down Sauron!

Yami Malik: Fear-!

Kaiba: *punches him in the face, sending him crashing down a flight of stairs* I COULD RULE MIDDLE EARTH!!!

Everyone at the council: O_____o;;;;

Yami Malik: .....medic? ..... ow.....

Bakura: *whispers to Mokuba* What's wrong with Kaiba?

Mokuba: *whispers back* He's still worked up about playing a character who has to die....

Kaiba: *glares at them, shutting them up*

Yami: *stands up and glares at Kaiba* You cannot wield it. None of us can. The puzzle answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master.

Kaiba: *narrows his eyes into dangerous slits and snarls* What would a pansy Ranger like you know about this?

Bakura: *suddenly gets angry* He is no mere ranger. This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance!

Kaiba: Sit DOWN, you British elf!!!!

Bakura: *in a small and meek voice* yes sir......

Kaiba: *turns his verbal assault on Yami* YOU are Isildur's heir? The heir to the throne of Gondor? *retreats to his seat* Gondor has no king, and it will never need a king.

Pegasus: Aragorn is right. We cannot control the puzzle.

Shadi: We have one choice. The puzzle must be destroyed.

Mokuba: What are we waiting for? *jumps up and tries to life his axe. It's too heavy for him, but Mokuba tries to again. Finally, he lifts it about his head and slams the axe on the puzzle. The axe explodes and shatters, throwing him to the floor*

Shadi: The puzzle cannot be destroyed, Gimli son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possesses. It was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from which it came. One of you must do this.

Kaiba: *leaps up again* Give me the puzzle! I could use it! I COULD RULE THE WORLD!!!

Bakura: *gets up, really pushing his luck now* Have you heard nothing that Lord Elrond has said? The puzzle must be destroyed!

Kaiba: *gets very, very angry and stuff!* SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU!!! *leaps onto Bakura and starts to beat him to the floor*

Mokuba: Um..... *reads his script* I'll be dead before I see the puzzle in the hands of an elf! Never trust and elf! *jumps into the fight between Kaiba and Bakura and starts to join in*

*the council erupts into cheers of excitement as the remaining members place bets on who they think will win*

Yugi: *stands, determined to get rid of the puzzle* I will take it.

*nobody hears him*

Yugi: *says louder* I will take it!

*still nothing*

Yugi: *clears his throat and practically screams* &^%$#!!! I'll take the damn puzzle!!!

*the council members are instantly silent and go back to their seats*

Yugi: *is now calm* I will take the puzzle to Mordor.... though I do not know the way.

Pegasus: Oh Frodo dear! I will help you bear this burden with the strength of our love!

Members of the Council: O____o

Yami: *stands* If by life or death I can protect you, I will. *kneels in front of Yugi dispite Pegasus' warning glares* You have my sword.

Mokuba: And my axe!

Bakura: x.x ..... ow...... *is still in pain from being beaten up by Kaiba*

Kaiba: *snarls and looks over the council* This is a sorry group of people destined to 'save' Middle Earth. I will have to go with you, to insure this task is finished.... and to rule Middle Earth! Ah hahaha!!!!

*at that moment, Joey runs into the council room*

Joey: I'm not letting Frodo go anywhere without me!

Pegasus: *glares at Joey*

*Téa and Tristan also come into the council room*

Téa: We're going too! You'd have to send us home tied in a sack to keep us away!

Tristan: You need people of intelligence on this sort of mission.... quest.... thing!

Téa: Well, that rules you out, Pip.

Tristan: Hey!

Shadi: *stands* Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Puzzle.

Tristan: Great! *glances around the room* Now.... where are we going?

Members of the Council: *sweatdrop*

*scene changes to Grandpa and Yugi alone in a room*

Grandpa: *gives Yugi his sword* This is my old sword, Sting. I want you to have it.

Yugi: *holds the sword and stares. It is nothing more than a wooden child's toy* o.o! THIS is supposed to protect me?!

Naomi: Oh come on! I'm only using the essentials here!

Yugi: *bluntly* I think a sword counts as an 'essential' in this kind of movie! *sighs and places the 'sword' in a loop on his belt*

Grandpa: And now, something that will protect you no matter the situation. *holds up a Dark Magician card and gives it to Yugi*

Yugi: ... *glances at Naomi* Couldn't afford armor, either?

Naomi: ^^;;;;

Yugi: That's what I thought..... *takes the card and puts it in his pocket, revealing the Millenium Puzzle a little*

Grandpa: My old puzzle.... I should very much like to hold it one last time.....

*Yugi knows better and pushes the puzzle back into his pocket. Suddenly, Grandpa has an 'evil' moment and tries to attack Yugi, but he quickly recovers*

Grandpa: I'm sorry I brought this upon you, my boy. I'm sorry you must carry this burden.... I'm sorry for everything! *dissolves into sobs as Yugi tries to confort him*

*scene changes to the fellowship leaving Rivendell. They are now accompanied with an extremely pissed off 'pony' named Bill (Bandit Keith). They walk for a very long while and stop for lunch. Kaiba decides to 'teach' Téa and Tristan how to swordfight*

Bandit Keith: This sucks! *throws all the bags and things he has to carry* I don't know why I'm even going along with this thing!

Kaiba: Come on, you sissies!!! *stabs at the two at fast speed*

Tristan: *barely dodges from Kaiba's sword* o.o!!!

Téa: I don't know what you're so worried about.... it's just a wooden sword!

Tristan: I could get a splinter!!!

Téa: ..... you wimp.....

Yami: *advises Tristan from the sidelines* Move your feet!

Tristan: *is hurt by Kaiba 'accidentally* #$&%! That hurts!!!

Kaiba: *grins* Sorr-umph! *is suddenly tackled by Tristan, who beats him to the ground*

Joey: *ignores them and looks to the sky. He sees something* .....what's that?

Mokuba: It's just a cloud.

*Tristan and Kaiba stop fighting and look up*

Yami: They're Saruman's spies! Hide, quickly!

*everyone scampers about to find a place to hide, except Bakura*

Bakura: It looks just like a flock of crows to me....

Yami: Hide, you moron! *drags Bakura to a hiding spot. They wait for a while, and the birds leave. Yami looks around the area* We must leave now....

*scene changes to the fellowship walking. Téa and Tristan break into a song*

Tristan: Peanut butter jelly time!

Téa: *echoes* Peanut butter jelly time!

~One hour later~

Tristan: Where ya at?

Téa: Where ya at?

~Five hours later~

*the fellowship has made it to a snowy mountain. Tristan and Téa are still singing*

Tristan: Peanut butter and a baseball bat!

Téa: Peanut butter and a baseball bat!

Tristan: Where-

Kaiba and Bandit Keith: *snap* SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY!!! *they both dive on Tristan and Tea and start to fight in the snow*

Joey: *pulls his earmuffs off of his head* Man! I thought they'd never stop!

Yami: It could have been worse.

Joey: How?

Yami: It was either 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' or dancing in Pegasus' conga line all the way here.

Pegasus: *dispite the very fridged weather, is wearing his bright red conga dress. He glances at Joey and winks* Cha cha baby! ^.~

*Joey and Yami shudder and look back at the fight between Kaiba, Bandit Keith, Tristan, and Téa. Suddenly, Kaiba is flung back from the fray and slams into Yugi, who falls over into the snow*

Yami: *narrows his eyes dangerously and pulls Kaiba off of Yugi*

Yugi: *panics and looks around in the snow* Where is it?!

Kaiba: *gets a satisfied look on his face* Looking for something? *holds out the Millenium Puzzle*

Yami: *a fire of rage burns in his eyes* Boromir.... give the puzzle to Frodo.

Kaiba: *grins at him* As you wish, Ranger. I care not. *throws the puzzle to Yugi and turns away* I will have my prize soon enough....

*scene changes to Yami Bakura's castle, where the birds return to him. One lands on his outstretched arm*

Yami Bakura: What is the information that you have GATHERED?!

Fird (yes, it's a Fird!): ...

Yami Bakura: SPEAK!

Fird: *opens his mouth very wide* FIRD!!!!
Yami Bakura: ..... o.o *his hair is now standing completely on end*

Fird: *flutters away innocently*

Yami Bakura: NAOMI! What was the point of THAT?!

Naomi: .... I really don't know.... so, we're just going to change scenes now, okay? ^^;;;

*scene changes to Bakura running on top of the snow, while the others trudge neck-deep in it*

Bakura: *gives a frightened shriek as he falls neck-deep into the snow*

*suddenly, rocks and snow start to fall off the mountain, covering the fellowship*

Yami: Yugi! *digs his poor Hikari out of the snow. He then glares at Pegasus* We must turn back!!!

Pegasus: No! *tries to stop the storm with his Millenium Eye, but Yami Bakura is reinforcing it with his Millenium Ring*

Yami: We must get off the mountain!!!

Mokuba: If we cannot get off the mountain, I say let us go under it!

*scene changes to Yami Bakura reading a book*

Yami Bakura: MORIA! You fear to go into those MINES! The dwarves delved too greedily and too DEEP! You know what they awoke in the darkness of KHAZAD-DUM! Shadow and FLAME! ... *looks at Naomi* Does that really serve any PURPOSE?

Naomi: It's foreshadowing the next chapter! Of course it's important!

*scene changes back to the fellowship on the mountain*

Pegasus: We'll let Frodo decide. *looks at Yugi* Would you rather go Gimli's way? Or the way of me, your darling, lover Gandalf?

Yugi: O_o *doesn't waste a second* Gimli!!!

Pegasus: *pouts* So be it....

End of Chapter 4!

AN- All right! Now we're getting to the good parts! How will the Fellowship fare in the mines of Moria? What dangers await them? Will Kaiba steal away the Millenium Puzzle? Will Pegasus fall into the abyss of Khazad-Dum? (Let's hope so....) These questions will be answered in the next chapter of Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle!