Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle (a Yu-Gi-Oh parody of Lord of the Rings)
Written by Naomi

Author's Notes- Yay! The third chapter is here! Now, I promised to make this one good.... so I put my heart and soul into this chapter (please don't hurt my heart and soul! ^^;;;) I hope you like it! I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Lord of the Rings. I don't own Makoré, C.J, Gus, Jessie, Ryu, or Allie. They belong to their respected owners and whatnot. I do own Naomi, like usual. Oh, and I'm adding Bones and A VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER to the cast. They will be staring in this fic as a random Orc and the Uruk-Hai (three guesses as to which one plays which). Flame/Comment/whatever at my e-mail CardCaptor505@aol.com.
And as usual- Thank you Jessie for hosting my story on Crayon Vision!

Chapter 3 - Here Comes Aragorn!

*scene changes to Yugi, Joey, Tristan, and Téa getting to the gates of Bree. It is pouring down raining as Yugi knocks on the gate door*

Guard: *opens a window on the gate* What do you want?

Yugi: We are headed for the Prancing Pony.

Guard: Hobbits? Four Hobbits! Why are you here in Bree?

*Tristan opens his mouth to talk about cheese, but Téa stomps on his foot to silence him*

Yugi: We want to stay at the inn.

Guard: Very well, young sir, didn't mean any offense by it. It's my job to ask questions.... *goes on about his job and whatnot*

*the Guard lets Yugi and his friends through the gate. They walk to the Prancing Pony, getting in the way of some people and causing a lot of commotion along the way. They finally reach the Prancing Pony, soaking wet, and Yugi looks for the Bartender*

Yugi: Um.... excuse me?

Bartender: *looks around* Who said that?

Yugi: .... I did!

Bartender: o.o I knew this inn was haunted!!!

Yugi: *kicks the Bartender in the shins* Hello?!

Bartender: *looks down at Yugi* Oh! Good evening, Mr....?

Yugi: Underhill. My name's Underhill. We're friends of Gandalf the Gay.

Joey, Téa, and Tristan: *snicker lightly*

Bartender: Gandalf? Elderly chap, long white hair, fruity voice.... I haven't seen him in six months.

*Yugi, Joey, and Tristan walk to a table and sit down*

Joey: What do we do now?

Yugi: As long as Gandalf stays away, I really don't care....

*Téa sits down at the table*

Tristan: What's that?

Téa: This, my friend, is a pint.

Tristan: It comes in pints? *his eyes widen* I'm going to get one. *he scampers away to the bar to get his pint*

Joey: I didn't know you drank, Merry....

Téa: I don't! I'm just going along with the script!

Joey: Suuuure....

Téa: *growls and marches over to Joey, her pint in hand. She suddenly turns the mug over, spilling the continents on Joey's lap*

Joey: Eep! Cold!!! *leaps up, where a giant wet spot has seeped all over his legs*

Téa: Oh look everyone! Sam's had an accident!

Joey: *blushes as everyone stares and laughs. He quickly recovers and throws a pie at Tea, which smashes into her face*

Yugi: .... ^^;;; *looks around the inn and catches a man in the shadows staring at him. Yugi stops the Bartender as he passes by* That man in the corner.... who is he?

Bartender: That man is one of them Rangers.... what his right name is I've never heard, but round here he's known as Strider.

Yugi: *naïvely waves at Yami* ^.^

Naomi: Yugi!!!

Yugi: Oh! Uh.... *suddenly acts like he's going into a trance, almost slipping the Millenium Puzzle around his neck, but is suddenly interrupted by Tristan giving away his name*

Tristan: Baggins? Sure I know a Baggins - Frodo Baggins, over there! He's my second cousin, once removed on his mother's side.

Yugi: *runs toward Tristan* Shut up, Pippin! *Yugi trips and the puzzle slips around his neck. He disappears completely. The scene changes to the Ring Wraiths feeling the power of the puzzle being used and ride towards Bree. Then, the scene changes back to Yugi seeing the Eye of Sauron for the very first time*

Yami Malik: You fear me!!!! Fear me!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!!

Yugi: *is truly terrified and pulls off the chain that the Millenium Puzzle is attached to. As soon as he appears, Yami drags Yugi upstairs and throws him inside a room*

Yami: You draw far too much attention to yourself, Mr-

Yugi: *cuts Yami off by clamping onto him in a terrified hug* Oh Yami! There was this thing... it was so huge.... I was so scared!

Yami: *growls and starts to unsheathe his sword* How dare they hurt my Hikari!!!

Naomi: A-HEM! Stick to the script!!!

Yugi: *moves away from Yami after an extremely long time of waiting* What do you want with me?

Yami: *eyes narrow, making him actually look like Strider* You should be more cautious, for that is no normal puzzle you carry.

Yugi: I carry nothing.

Yami: *he stares at Yugi* Indeed? *goes around putting out candles* I can avoid being seen if I wish, but to disappear entirely...... that is a rare gift.

Yugi: ..... who are you?

Yami: *glares at him* Are you frightened?

Yugi: Yes....

Yami: Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.

Naomi: *thinking* This is great! Yami and Yugi seem to be able to say their lines perfectly! I hope it lasts for the intire movie....

*suddenly, Joey, Téa, and Tristan break in, thinking that Yami has hurt Yugi. Yami sends one of his glares at the interrupters*

Yami: They have stout hearts, but that won't save you. *turns to Yugi, his gaze softens* You can no longer wait for the wizard, Frodo.

Yugi: *very bluntly* I'm willing to leave him.

Joey, Téa, and Tristan: *agree with Yugi*

Yami: *stares out a window* They are coming....

*scene changes to three Ring Wraiths arriving at Bree. They find a room where Hobbits seem to be sleeping*

Wraith #3: Um.... I don't think I want to kill anyone in their sleep.... *pulls off her cloak revealing her identity as Allie* I mean.... shouldn't we wake them up first?

Wraith #4: It doesn't matter! They're just pillows! *takes off her robe, revealing her identity as C.J* .... Naomi, what are we supposed to do? *looks around for Naomi* ..... Naomi?

Wraith #5: *walks into the room, very strangely, looking like two people were stuffed into one costume* ....

C.J: Naomi!!! Get out of Makoré's costume right now!!!

Allie: o.o This is a kid's show for crying out loud!

C.J: *stomps up to Wraith #5 and pulls his costume off, revealing a very messy Makoré and Naomi*

Makoré: Um.... ^^;

Naomi: You see....

Allie: No excuses! *throws a pillow at Naomi, which hits her face and explodes into feathery goodness*

Makoré: Return fire!!! *hurls a pillow at C.J as a giant pillow fight erupts between them*

*scene changes to a room where Yugi, Joey, Téa, and Tristan lay awake. Yami is looking out the window in the room*

Yugi: ..... what are they?

Yami: They were once men.

Naomi: A-HEM!

Yami: Er.... well, mostly women and some men. Each of them had promises in life until they built a web site called Crayon Vision..... one by one they gave into the twisted humor that spawned from the site. Now they are wild tricksters, the Pranksters.

*scene changes to Yugi, Yami, Joey, Téa, and Tristan leaving Bree*

Yugi: Where are you taking us?

Yami: Into the wilds.

*they walk some more*

Téa: How do we know that this Strider won't lead us back to Gandalf?

Yugi: I have a feeling that he won't.

Joey: Then where is he taking us?

Yami: To Rivendell, Master Gamgee, the home of Elrond.

Joey: *gets a scheming look in his eyes* I'll make sure to visit the pretty elf maidens, then.

Tristan: Hey! Save some for me!

Téa: *shakes her head* Easy there, guys....

*tired, Yugi and the others stop and sit down*

Yami: *looks back and says very sternly* Gentlemen.... we do not stop till nightfall.

Tristan: *whimpers* What about breakfast?

Yugi, Joey, and Téa: Pippin!!!

Yami: -.-; You've had breakfast already.

Tristan: We've had one, yes.... but what about second breakfast?

Téa: I don't think he knows about second breakfast.... and stop thinking with your stomach for once!

Tristan: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?

Téa: Enough Pippin!!!

Yami: *unseen, throws an apple to Téa. She catches is and walks off. Yami throws another to Tristan, but it hits him on top of his head*

*scene changes to Yami Bakura talking to ..... well, he's talking to nothing actually....*

Yami Bakura: If you're so 'almighty' then why don't you build an army YOURSELF!

Yami Malik: *bluntly* It's kind of hard when you're only an eye!

Yami Bakura: ..... you've got a POINT! *retreats to his study. An Orc (who is now Bones because.... I said so and he's UGLY! XP) enters the room*

Bones: What orders from Mordor, my lord?

Yami Bakura: OO!!! *%^$&! *leaps onto his chair* You're one ugly ORC!

Bones: *sniffles and rubs his face* IT'S JUST A SKIN CONDITION!

Yami Bakura: *calms down and gets off of his chair. He looks outside* We have work to DO!

*scene starts to change*

Yami Bakura: WAIT! What was the point of THAT?

Naomi: I dunno.... um.... it was in the movie, okay?

Yami Bakura: They need to see more of ME!

Naomi: Well, if you kindly let the movie continue on, maybe we'll get to see you some time before the end of this year!

*scene finishes changing to Yugi, Yami, Joey, Téa, and Tristan coming to the ruins of a watchtower*

Yami: We stay here tonight. *unwraps four swords and passes them to the others*

Joey: *unsheathes his* Oooooh, pooooointy!

Yami: *gets second thoughts and takes Joey's sword*

Joey: Hey! *pouts*

Yami: I'm going to have a look around. Stay here.

*scene changes. Yugi is sleeping. He wakes up to find the others crouching around a flashlight with red tissue paper taped onto it*

Yugi: *eyes the 'fire'* ..... what IS that?

Joey: It's a fire....

Yugi: You call THAT a fire?!

Joey: Don't look at me! It's Naomi's fault!

Naomi: Hey! I'm on a low budget here!!!

Joey: *ignores her* Anyway.... we saved some food for you!

Yugi: *eyes widen* Put it out, you fools, put it out! *kicks the flashlight over. It falls with a clank, and the batteries pop out of the back, turning it off*

Tristan: That's nice.... tissue paper on my tomatoes.... *shrugs and continues to eat them*

Yugi, Joey, and Tea: ... ew...

Yugi: *suddenly hears something and looks over the edge of the tower. He sees some Ring Wraiths approaching and panics*

Joey: *looks over the edge also and freaks* Oh, shi-

Téa: -take Mushrooms!

Joey: *gives Tea an odd look*

Téa: *stomps on Joey's foot* It's a kid show!!!

Joey: Owwww!!! ><

Yugi: *watches the approaching Ring Wraiths* Let's get out of here!!

*they all climb to the top of the ruined tower and wait, wondering when the Ring Wraiths will strike. Five of them enter the ruins*

Joey: Back, you devils! *runs up to the shortest Ring Wraith. He pauses, realizing that he has no weapon* .... uh-oh....

Wraith #1 (Gus): I kiiiiiill!!!! *leaps on Joey's head, making him run around in circles*

Joey: My eyes! I'm bliiiiind!!! I can't seeeeee! *runs into a wall and falls over* ...... ow.....

Wraith #1 (Gus): *jumps off of Joey's head and runs away, snickering*

Wraith #7 (Ryu): *steps forward* Naomi! Can I kill Yugi now????

Wraith #6 (Naomi): No! And it's FRODO!

Yugi: o.o!

*Tristan and Téa run to defend Yugi, but Wraith #4 (C.J) and Wraith #2 (Jessie) stop them*

Wraith #7 (Ryu): Now it's time! *unsheathes a giant sword* Ah ha ha ha!!!! *approaches Yugi, who is so scared, he falls over* This is for Seto! (Ryu is Kaiba's cousin.... thing) Die Yugiiiii!!! *stabs him*

Wraith #6 (Naomi): IT'S FRODO! GET IT RIGHT!

Yugi: O.O!!! *spazzes as the blade bends when it stabs his shoulder*

Wraith #7 (Ryu): What.....? *stares at the sword. He stabs Yugi again. And again. Andagainandagainandagain! The blade continues to bend when it makes contact with Yugi's shoulder* .... this is a fake sword!!!

Wraith #6 (Naomi): .... um.... yeah. Low budget, remember? And you think I'd ACTUALLY give you a real sword? *laughs* Yeah right!

Wraith #7 (Ryu): *opens his mouth to say something, but Yami suddenly appears, wielding a sword and a flaming torch*

Yami: How dare you hurt my Hikari!!!! *attacks the Ring Wraiths, lighting Wraith #4 (C.J) on fire with his torch*

Wraith #4 (C.J): FIRE!!!! AH HA HA HA!!!! *jumps off the side of the tower*

Wraiths #1, #2, #6, and #7 (Gus, Jessie, Naomi, and Ryu): O.o? *run away, in fear that Yami will light them all on fire*

Joey: *runs over to Yugi* Frodo!

Yami: *pushes Joey out of the way* Hikari!!!

Yugi: o.o

Joey: .... ow....

Tea: He needs help Strider!

Tristan: Help with what? Being stabbed to death with a rubber sword? *sighs* We need to make this more realistic. *walks over to Yugi and punches him in the gut*

Yugi: O.O! *squeaks and balls up into a little ball, withered in pain*

Yami: !!!!! *turns on Tristan and punches him in the face, sending him falling off of the watchtower*

Tristan: *smashes to the ground* ...... my back..... ow.....

Yami: *picks Yugi up* This is beyond my skill to heal.... he needs elvish medicine. *Yugi cries out in pain* Hang on, Frodo!

*scene changes to Yami Bakura's place. Pegasus is still (thankfully) imprisoned on top of a tower. Below, Pegasus can hear the sound of Orcs forging weapons. Suddenly, a moth flutters by him*

Pegasus: Ooooh goodie! *seizes the poor moth out of mid-air and stuffs it into his mouth*

Everyone on the set: Ewwww!!!!

Jessie: You ate Joe!!!! *weeps*

Naomi: Pegasus!!!

Pegasus: It's not my fault.... you've left me up here for four days! I haven't had anything to eat in that intire time period!

Naomi: ..... *sigh* Release another moth. And if you eat this one Pegasus, I'll keep you up there for a week!

Pegasus: *grumbles and watches another moth reluctantly fly by him. This time, Pegasus reaches out and catches it. But he closes his hand too fast...*

*insert nasty squish noise here*

Everyone on the set: Ewwww!!!!

Pegasus: o.o ..... um ..... *whispers to the dead moth-mush and throws it off of the side of the tower* BE FREE LITTLE MOTH!!!!

*scene changes to Yami Bakura giving orders to the Orcs. Suddenly, the dead moth hits him on the head*

*insert small thonk noise here*

Yami Bakura: *looks around* What the hell was THAT? o.o *shakes his head and looks back at a creature that is being bred in the mud*

Everyone on the set: O_____o

A VERY UGLY RARE HUNTER!: *awakens and kills an Orc caring for it*

Yami Bakura: *gets a very evil look on his face as he watches his creation*

*scene changes to Yami carrying Yugi. He stops the group and puts Yugi down*

Tristan: This is retarded.... it was just a rubber sword!

Yami: *glares at Tristan, silencing him*

*there is a menacing laughter heard in the air, not far away from where Yami and the others were*

Téa: They're close!

Yami: Sam, do you know the Athelas plant?

Joey: Athelas?

Yami: Gods, you're thick! Kingsfoil!

Joey: Ooooh! Kingsfoil's a weed! (weed.... heh heh....)

Yami: It will help Frodo. Go get some!

Joey: *walks off into the forest* Help Frodo with WHAT? *sighs and decides that getting the plant is better than arguing with Yami*

Yami: *finds the plant and kneels down to pick some, when a dagger is pushed up to his neck* o.o!!!

Mai: Well, well, well.... A Ranger caught off his guard?

Yami: O.O!!! Eeeyaaaah!!! IT'S ARWEN! *runs off screaming into the night*

*scene changes to Yugi's dreams. He suddenly sees Mai, obviously wearing something very skimpy*

Yugi: O_____o

Mai: Frodo.... I am Arwen. I've come to help you... Hear-

Yugi: *bolts up in his sleep and screams* MAI'S IN MY DREAMS!!!! HELP ME!!!!

Mai: *looks up at Yami with a grin on her face* I told you I could wake him up.

Yami: *sulks*

Téa: Who is she? *glares at Mai*

Joey: *drools* She's an elf!

Tristan: Settle down, Romeo.

Mai: He's not going to last long. We have to get him to my father.

Tristan: Can someone explain what exactly is wrong with Frodo?

Yami: *ignores Tristan and lifts Yugi onto Mai’s horse* Stay here with the Hobbits.

Mai: I am the faster rider. I will take him.

Yami: *his eyes flash dangerously* But-

Mai: Just give me the damn horse or I'll kiss you!

Yami: o_o *lets her have the horse*

Mai: *smiles* Thank you! *rides away*

*scene changes to Mai and Yugi riding. Some Ring Wraiths gain on them, trying to influence Yugi to put on the puzzle*

Ring Wraith #2 (Jessie): Obaaaaay me! You know you want to!

Mai: Frodo! Get a hold of yourself! *slaps him and continues to ride her horse across the river, and a stone shoots out from under the horse’s hoof and scratches her face* My face!!! If it wasn't for you *turns to the Ring Wraiths* this wouldn't have happened to my beautiful face!!! *starts speaking to the river in elvish. A flood of water washes down the river, lead by Harpie Lady shapes. The Ring Wraiths are washed away*

Ring Wraith 5 (Makoré): Surf’s up! Wheeeee!

*Yugi looses his energy and falls over*

Mai: No Frodo! Don't give in! *lies next to him*

Yugi: O.O! Mai.... kindly, get the hell off of me!

Mai: Hey! You're not supposed to be alive! *wacks him with something hard, knocking him out*

*Yugi's world dissolves into darkness*

End of Chapter 3!

AN- ^^ How was that? I hope it was good! What will happen to Yugi? Will he survive? Will he ACTUALLY make it to Rivendell? When will we meet the Fellowship? o.o Do we WANT to meet the Fellowship? (who knows what's happened to them....) You'll see in the next chapter of Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle!