Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle (a Yu-Gi-Oh parody of Lord of the Rings)
Written by Naomi

Author's Notes- Yay! It's the first chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did when I wrote it. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Lord of the Rings. Mmm... yeah. I still own Naomi. Comments/Flames/whatever can be directed to my e-mail at CardCaptor505@aol.com. Also, it seems that only a select few of our cast members (Isis, Shadi, and Yugi) fully know their lines.... so if it gets really boring while reading their parts.... complain to them, not to me! ^^;
Thank you Jessie and Crayon Vision for hosting my fic! ^^

Chapter 1 - Lights, Camera, Congo Dancing?!?

Naomi: Okay people, quiet on the set! Don't make me get C.J!!!! All right, dim the lights! Ready, annnnd.... action!

Isis: The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the Earth. I smell it in the air.

Joey: I knew I shouldn't have eaten Mexican this morning....

Naomi: Joey!!!!

Isis: *is now pinching his nose with her fingers* Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Millenium Items. Two were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. One was given to the Dwarves, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And three, three items were gifted to the race of men, who above all desire power. For within these items were bound a power and the will to rule each race. But they were all of them deceived, for deep in the land of Mordor, the Dark Lord Sauron forged another Millenium Item-

Yami Malik: Wahahahaha!!!! Fear my power!!!!

Isis: *glares and silences her brother* A master item, and into this item he poured all his cruelty, his malice-

Yami Malik: *opens his mouth to speak*

Isis: And his will to be silent! *clears her throat and continues* One Millenium Item to rule them all. One by one, the free peoples of Middle Earth fell to the power of the item, but there were some who resisted.

*a large army of men and elves, lead by Shadi, marches towards the mountain*

Isis: A last alliance of men and elves marched against the armies of Mordor, and on the very slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle Earth. Victory was near, but the power of the Millenium Puzzle could not be undone.

Yami Malik: Diiiiiiie!!! Ahahahaha!!!!! *kills half of the army with a swing of the Millenium Rod* The power! The poooooower!!!!

Isis: *rolls her eyes* It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the king, took up his father's sword.

Rex: *looks like he's going to be sick and picks up his sword*

Yami Malik: I'm going to kiiiiiiiiill you!!!! *steps on Rex's sword, breaking it*

Rex: o.o!!!! *in a desperate attempt to win, he swipes the broken blade, cutting the Millenium Puzzle off of Yami Malik's neck*

Yami Malik: Noooooogkajhgtajh!!!!! *explodes in a cheep, crayon vision image* (try and imagine it, folks!)

Rex: *faints of shock*

Isis: And Sauron, enemy of the free peoples of Middle Earth, was defeated. The Millenium Puzzle passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the Millenium Puzzle has a will of its own. It betrayed Isildur, to his death.

*Rex and the remains of the army are attacked and killed by goblins. The puzzle is lost in a river*

Rex: All of the trouble to get the stupid thing and I get killed by goblins?!

Naomi: Fine. Then you're killed by rabid Kuribos instead.

*the scene replays itself, but with Kuribos attacking Rex and his army*

Rex: Kuribos?! *sulks* I'll be in my trailer! *stomps off*

Isis: ..... And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. For four and a half thousand years, the item passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, the puzzle ensnared another bearer.

*Wevil, 3/4ths naked, pulls the puzzle out of the water*

Wevil: It's.... frikkin'.... cold!!!! *his teeth chatter*

Isis: The puzzle came to the creature Gollum, who took it deep into the tunnels under the Misty Mountains, and there it consumed him.

Wevil: I-it came to me, my o-own, my love, m-my Preciousssss.... achoo! *sniffles*

Isis: The puzzle gave to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind, and in the gloom of Gollum's cave it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Millenium Puzzle perceived that it's time had come. It abandoned Gollum. But then something happened that the puzzle did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable. A Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire.

Grandpa: *moves his hands along the ground* What's this? A puzzle?

Wevil: *starts having a sneezing fit*

*Grandpa is startled. Surely that sound belonged to a horrible monster! He leaves the cave in a hurry*

Isis: For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.....

(The Shire, 60 years later)

*scene opens to Yugi reading a book. He hears Pegasus' cart rolling along the pathway and goes to greet him*

Yugi: *very sternly* You're late.

Pegasus: *skips several lines* Give me a hug!!!! *jumps on the small 'Hobbit'*

Yugi: O.o Nice.... to see you too, Gandalf......

Pegasus: *drags poor Yugi into his cart* Oooooh, won't this be just a SPLENDID birthday party???

Yugi: *nervously reads his script* You know Bilbo. He has the whole place in an uproar.

Pegasus: An uproar? You haven't seen an uproar until I've started my conga line!!!

Yugi: O.o *gives up and throws his script behind him*

*the cart passes some Hobbit children that chase after them*

Children: Gandalf, Gandalf! Fireworks, Gandalf!

*Pegasus ignores them for a while, then sets some disgruntled Toon cards on the children, sending them running away*

Yugi: *gets quite nervous, thinking why Naomi intrusted Pegasus of all people with the fireworks. He hastily jumps out of the wagon* I guess I'll be seeing you later, then....

Pegasus: Don't be shy now! *giggles like a schoolgirl*

*a while later, Pegasus arrives at the door of Grandpa's 'Hobbit hole'. He knocks on the door, lightly*

Grandpa: No thank you! I don't want any more well-wishers, visitors, or distant relations!

Pegasus: What about filthy rich millionaires whom have no other form of entertainment other than to suck out the souls of dearly beloved people just to force teens into playing my game?

Grandpa: *clearly knows who it is outside and after a long pause, opens the door. He opens his mouth and says very blandly* Oh joy. It's Gandalf. Won't-

Pegasus: Bilbo, dear friend!!! *practically leaps upon Grandpa, giving him a rib-breaking hug*

Grandpa: o.o!!!! *he struggles and finally breaks free of Pegasus' grasp* ..... would you like to have some tea? *he asks quietly, hoping that Pegasus will go away*

Pegasus: SURE! *runs inside yelling in a sing-song voice* We're gonna have a tea party, we're gonna have a tea party!!!!

Grandpa: *slowly walks inside his house, making sure Pegasus doesn't break anything* Naomi better be paying me soooome good to put up with this...

*scene changes to outside of the Hobbit hole. It is now night time, and Grandpa is sitting outside smoking as he watches some Hobbits pitch tents for the party*

Grandpa: Old Toby! Finest weed in all Southfarthing...

Naomi: Grandpa! What the heck are you thinking?! No weed on the set! *chucks the pipe out the window, hitting Rex on the head* Get back to the script!

Grandpa: *mumbling* Stay to the script, she says.... *rolls his eyes and looks to where Pegasus was, hoping he wasn't doing something harmful* Hey, Gandalf! Where are you?

Pegasus: *leaps along the grassy area of the Hobbit hole in his woman's conga outfit from before, topped with the fruit head dress* It's time to coooooongaaaaa!!!! *suddenly holds out a bottle of 'fruit juice' and dances down to the party in the open field below*

Grandpa: O.O! *tries to visualize the madness that was about to take place down in the dancing section of the party, shudders, and scampers down to the areas below to try to stop Pegaus' maddening events from happening. He thinks to himself* Bilbo, my dear Hobbit.... this will be a night to remember!

End of Chapter 1!

AN- So it seems like our little party is finally underway. Will Grandpa reach the party in time to stop the evil dancing? Or will Pegasus' conga line of doom spell disaster for the party? Will I actually get back to the storyline? These will be answered in the next chapter of Lord of the Millenium Items - The Fellowship of the Puzzle!