THE GREATEST YU-GI-OH FIC EVAR!
Written Jessie and Allie
WARNING: What you are about to read is disturbing, wrong, and all lines were crossed. For we totally defaced Yu-Gi-Oh! But don't take us wrong, we love this anime. But we felt it must be done! So read at your own digression! Hate mail welcomed (we love you)! No names have been changed, screw the innocent.
"Then I use the trap card (insert name here)!" Joey flipped over his card and the (insert name here) tied itself tightly around the Dark Magician.
"Oh no!" Cried Yami Yugi. This was a bad thing that just happened you know. But wouldn't you know it! As soon as (insert name here) captured the Duel Monster, something happened! Bright lights emitted from every which direction, OH's and AH's filled the stadium... then suddenly...
"He's stripped the Dark Magician of his dignity!" Tristan said.
"And a lot more than that!" Tea gasped.
"It's quite fetching!" Bakura said. Everyone turned and looked at him oddly. "What?"
So there stood the Dark Magician... in a flight attendant's outfit (try and use your imagination, kids!). Obviously, the trap card that Joey had flipped over and used on the Duel Monster had made him like this! Yami Yugi went into shock, Joey twitched slightly in disbelief, and Pegasus placed a hand over his mouth and said: "Oh my!"
And then to the surprise of everyone, the dark magician began to speak- "Welcome to American eagle flight 50/50 non-stop to Amarillo. Please remain seated at all times and we ask you to also remain buckled in until otherwise notified. a reminder- this will be a 'taco flight', and in the emergency that the pilot may have gas, four oxygen masks will drop down from the overhead compartment. There's no air in the tanks, but it will feel muuuuuccch better." The magician paused, demonstrating how to put the mask on and making sure everyone could see.. even though none of them had the slightest idea where the mask had 'dropped down' from. Then suddenly, in crappy crayon vision (its time to use that imagination again!) Pegasus's castle rose into the air and began to fly away!
The walls trembled as the castle zoomed though the air. Yugi was no longer Yami but a scared little man, Joey was trying to keep his balance from all of the shaking the floor and walls were doing, and Tristan was hanging on for dear life on a near by pillar. Tea was about to break and to hysterics, and Bakura wet himself.
Pegasus shrugged lazily. "Oh well! Just go with the flow!" and he began to dance around madly singing his retarded song "Face up, face down." His man-slaves joined arms and began to kick their legs into the air in a dancing fashion. Yugi looked around and tried to figure out this madness. But no prevail, it seemed that the castle was really flying to Amarillo, Texas and that Pegasus had just grabbed Joey around the shoulder and continued to sing, and urged Joey to sing along.
Joey cursed and kicked as he tried to get this madman off of him. Pegasus let go and made a pouting face. "What! You do not want to sing! Then I'll just..." He spread out his arms and began to flap them. "FLY AWAY!" then he zoomed into the air and began to fly around like a bad Mario Paint graphic. And true enough, one of the songs from that crappy game, Mario Paint, began to play. The walls and floor were shaking less now and the three standing on the balcony were gathering themselves again.
"Guys!" Yugi said, waving to everyone. "What's going on here!?" Everybody shrugged, they were just as confused as him!
"I don't know but--- WARF!" Said Joey as Pegasus shoved down on his head from above, right on beat to the crappy Mario Paint music.
"That sounds great! Yay!" Pegasus flittered away, counting the beats until his next 'interval'.
"This is getting stranger and stranger every second--- MEW!" Said Bakura as Pegasus shoved down on his head from above, right on beat to the crappy Mario Paint music.
"SPIFFING! ABSOULTLY SPORKING!" Pegasus flittered away, counting the beats until his next 'interval'
"I'm... getting... scared--- *SNORT.*" Said Tea as Pegasus shoved down on her head from above, right on beat to the crappy Mario Paint music.
"MY OH MY! HOW POSSITVELY CORKING!" Pegasus flittered away, counting the beats until his next 'interval'
"What the hell is going--- UHEH!" Said Tristan as Pegasus shoved down on his head from above, right on beat to the crappy Mario Paint music.
"WHAT A BUTT-FLAPING GOOD TIME!" Pegasus flittered away, counting the beats until his next 'interval'
"Uhm.... YOSHI!" Said Yugi as Pegasus shoved down on his head from above, right on beat to the crappy Mario Paint music.
"LE WHOOP---" Pegasus began to say, but Yugi, exploded in a flash of golden light (that means he's Yami now!) and screamed: "GOD DAMNIT!", grabbed the flying Pegasus by the leg and tossed him out the window. Just as he let go of his leg, Pegasus sang loudly and off key: "FLY INTO YOUR SOOOOOOUUULLLL!" and went out the window.
Yugi dropped to his knees and returned to normal and cried. "OH MY GOD. I KILLED PEGASUS! I'LL NEVER DUEL AGAIN!!" Then suddenly he turned his head and saw Pegasus flying around outside.
"HIIIIIIII~~!!" Pegasus sang as he waved at Yugi, still flying.
Then several moments later, the castle began to shake, the Dark Flight Attendant made an announcement. "We will be landing in about 15 minutes, and we hope everyone has enjoyed the flight! Return flight will take place two hours from now, and we hope to see you all again!" Then suddenly he/she disappeared in a burst of light, and the castle landed in a large CRASHA! Noise and everyone grabbed onto something for support. Tristan flew back and went SPLOOT onto the wall behind him. Joey stood up and called to him.
"Tristan! Are you dead?" He yelled.
"No..." Tristan grumbled.
Tea managed to gather everyone together (though everybody was slowly lapsing into insanity.) They walked outside of the castle, and to their surprise found themselves in an airport!
"This is amazing! Look at how big everything is!" Tea said in awe.
"I think everything in Texas is suppose to be big..." Bakura said in the same tone.
"Uh... guys..." Yugi said, looking around uneasily. Everyone looked down at him.
"What's up, Yug?" Joey said.
"I gotta go to the bathroom..."
Joey took Yugi to find the bathroom, figuring first they'd need directions (because the place is so freakin' HUGE). "Hey!" Joey stopped an elderly man, "Can you point my friend and me to the bathroom pal?"
"Uryeahr, thre barthroomr rs dern thrarterwayr." The man replied, pointing somewhere south. "Erkrrhah?"
The two looked at each other, stumped. "Erkrrhah?"
"Fhquwgads!" The man gave a huge smile and walked away in a bow-legged fashion.
"Holy crap..." Joey muttered. "he's an alien!"
"Yeah! We need a fish-mat!" nodded Yugi, for no apparent reason whatsoever.
Soon they found the bathrooms. Yugi picked a stall and locked the door behind him. Joey just waited and looked at the extremely large mirror in front of him. Bakura was right, everything seemed to be big in Texas.
From within the stall, Yugi took instant notice to how big the rim of the toilet seemed to be. "Maybe its just an optical illusion.." he dismissed the thought, and hopped up.
Joey had just preened a piece of dust from out of his hair when he heard a tremendous SPLASH!
"AIIIEEEEEEE!!!!"
"You okay in there, Yug!?" Joey yelled, running towards the stall Yugi was in.
"H-Help! I fell in!" Yugi tried to wave and claw his way out of the large toilet bowl. Joey attempted to open the stall, but it was locked.
"The door is locked! I'm gonna try and climb over! Hang on!" Joey jumped as far as he could to reach the top of the large stalls and tried to climb his way over. Meanwhile Yugi continued flailing in the Texas-sized toilet, but all of his struggling did was set off the motion sensor. Suddenly the toilet flushed beneath him. He screamed in terror and began to flail faster. Joey jumped into the stall and helped Yugi out. Soon Joey and Yugi emerged from the restrooms.
Bakura, Tristan, and Tea looked at the two strangely. Joey looked miserable, and Yugi looked like a wet cat. His eyes were large and crossed, he was also shaking violently.
"Is he okay?" Tea said, looking scared.
"We should get him something to drink! He looks freezing." Bakura nodded towards a Starbucks (they're everywhere!) next door to them. Joey nodded and helped Yugi along as they walked to the coffee shop.
"Hey guys! Look!" Tristan said, pointing out the fact that there was another Starbucks right across from the first Starbucks!
"Oh wow, this must be like some kind of bad omen..." Tea whispered. A crowd of people rushed between the two Starbucks. Tristan squinted his eyes.
"What the hell is that...?" He said, and pointed out something else this time.
A LARGE BLACK CHOCOBO was standing between the two coffee shops, looking extremely menacing. He turned his head quickly and caught Tristan looking at him.
"Oh crap..." Tristan muttered. The LARGE BLACK CHOCOBO kicked one of his claws back like he was kicking back dust, and rushed head-long at Tristan. Before he could run away, Tristan was shoved into the wall by the enraged feather-y thing. The LARGE BLACK CHOCOBO snorted and trotted away, with his tail high in the air.
"Tristan! Are you dead?" Joey yelled.
"No..." Tristan grumbled.
Soon, they were sitting in the Starbucks, a large (as in TEXAS large) cup of triple shot expresso sat in front of Yugi (who still looked like a wet cat.)
"Come on, Yugi. You'll feel better if you feel better if you drink this." Tea nudged the dangerous caffeine fueled coffee towards poor Yugi. He lifted a shaky hand and drank it all in one gulp. Everyone stood and watched as the small spiky headed boy put down the cup.
"I think I feel better... uh... what's going on?" Yugi began to vibrate violently on the spot.
"Somebody hold him down!" Tristan said, as Yugi began to slowly vibrate his way off the chair. Joey ran over to Yugi a slammed his hand down on his spiky head and tried to hold him still. But soon enough, Joey was vibrating was well. After a while, they gave up and left Yugi there to vibrate stupidly. (Poor guy.)
"G-guys... I-I don't f-f-feel so good..." Yugi said, then suddenly in a flash of gold he became Yami Yugi, then seconds later, back to normal Yugi. And back again. Due to overload of caffeine in Yugi's system, it caused him to uncontrollably change from Yami and back again in seconds! This process continued rapidly for about five minutes.
Yugi.
Yami.
Yugi.
Yami.
Yugi.
Yami.
Yugi.
Yami.
Yugi.
Yami.
Yugi.
Dancing Banana ("IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!") 
And finally Yugi again.
"Uh, guys. I don't know about you but... I don't think things can get any worse here!" Joey said.
Oh, but it did.
"Hi everybody! Cha cha cha~~!" Came the voice of Pegasus from not too far away. He was dancing a conga line with his man-slaves in between the two Starbucks, and towards a near by entrance gate to an airplane. But outside, though the window where the plane should have been, there was Pegasus's castle. Standing outside the gate was the Dark Flight Attendant. Pegasus's conga line was reaching the gate slowly. Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Bakura, and Tea all looked at each other. At the same time they all shrugged lazily and said: "Oh well! Just go with the flow!" And joined Pegasus in his conga line, and into the castle. Where they flew away into the sky, and lived happily every after.
TEH END.
