The woman Behind the Web Page

Jennifer Hafemann
Cowgirl at Heart

gileadfarms@lycos.com

www.anglefire.com/country/gileadfarms/home.html
gileadfarms@lycos.com

1st, let me thank you for visiting Gilead Farms. I founded Gilead 1999 in an attempt to gain back some sense of self after watching my marriage fall apart and finally realizing there was life beyond the hell I was living in. Why Plastic ponies, you ask? Breyers were a big part of my childhood and I spend many hours transforming my room into flat lands and Mesas for my rug herd to gallop through. One of my first memories is of unwrapping a beautiful dappled gray Azteca foundation Stallion on Christmas morning. They were my ticket into a place where there was always sunshine and were I always felt safe and at home.

As an adult, I lost what I perceived to be my whole world to my husband's drug addiction. I had nothing left of myself to call my own. I had been trapped in the mire of lies and half-truths needed to protect myself from prying eyes and keep the shame of his addiction hidden. I found, by luck, a web page that lead me to haynet, a model horse group on Yahoo. I threw myself into them, emerging on the other side refreshed and beginning to heal.

Then there was Gwen, my teacher, my confidant, the woman who lead me to Jesus, who I had fought so hard and so long against. She gave me horse kisses, and let me sweat out my frustration in the saddle. She gave me Ginger, who taught me to STOP and BE STILL. I pray often to the Lord to let me be Still so I can hear what is being said in the silence and I find miracles every day. I am blessed to have the wind in my hair and my hands in her mane, the smell of her body and the surge of her power as we expand out of ourselves and into something more. Ginger gave me a place to begin to heal and allowed me to open my heart in ways I had never before been able to. I had been married, bore children and didn't realize until recently that I had never fully understood what it meant to love and be loved in return. In the quiet of the stable, I found I could forgive and allow myself to be forgiven. I am a better person because of the gifts they have given me openly and freely.

December of 2005, I had the opportunity to marry the man of my dreams. We had a long road to travel to find each other, but in the end, God truly knew what we would need to go through to become the people we are today. I thank the Lord everyday for trusting me with the care of his heart. My husband stepped into a ready-made family with open arms and welcomed all of us with love.

My door is always open. Come in and sit down and take a load off your shoulders. Give me your burden to bear for you for a little while and rests in a place were you can come into your own and shed the weight of sorrow. The end, harsh as it may be, is really just a new beginning though the road is long and sometimes it is hard to understand why things happen as they do. Trust in this: There is always sunshine after rain.