<Intro Voice>
Grey is fine.
I'm not sure if that's the good news or the bad news.
He's fine but not entirely mobile, he's linked up with Bruce, Beige and Blackbird to get around for now.
It was kind of funny to see him get something blasted off his backside.
And now, somewhere in England . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Okay, careful, careful, careful.
Grey, the losing weight thing has gone from need to all the way to just do it!
Lower me down gently. Pete Doherty?
Huh? Wha? Huh? Wha? Huh?
He's stoned isn't he?
It is Pete Doherty.
How can you tell, he doesn't have a cigarette in his mouth.
Wha? Huh? Oh.
There we go.
Open a window.
Wha? Huh?
This is going to be difficult.
Why Pete Doherty? Hardly anyone knows him, even if he's attached to a supermodel.
Yeah, Kate Moss. During the trial there was all sorts of news around these two and I decided that this has to be one of the dumbest couples in existence primarily because of this guy. I mean look at him, he has fans but most of his fame comes from moronic drug use!
Huh? Oh.
Look at him now, shesh, he never stops.
You're sure this is worth it? Wouldn't a higher profile target be a little more worth it?
He's become a high profile target because of his stupidity. His actions are harming Kate Moss's career and family.
Huh? Wha? Huh? Where?
Why'd you have to bring all of us along? This guy's so pathetic you could take care of it yourself.
Oh I don't know, maybe it has something to do with having an electric chair blasted off my butt!
If you're going to keep holding on to it like that we're going to start ignoring you.
I need you to carry me because I've got splinters where splinters shouldn't be!
You know if you'd let me chainsaw you out you wouldn't be complaining about splinters.
No, I'd be complaining about my sudden lack of arms and legs.
He's right. No matter what he would have found something to whine about.
The point is I need you guys to ferry me about while Beige operates as my dogsbody.
Dogging what?
Well I figured that a guy who names his band Babyshambles might be a tad incoherent, and our experiences with Ozzy Osborne convinced me that a drug addled musician might not be the easiest to understand directly.
So we're pulling in Sharon Osborne.
That'll mean Ozzy, which in turn means trouble.
Not at all. Beige.
I have her.
Whozit? Wazit?
Kate Moss?
I thought we were getting a translator?
Yeah, Kate Moss has to come as close to understanding this guy as anyone else.
Wonderful.
Now, Pete Doherty, do you understand me?
Huh? Wha?
Kate?
Wazit?
Okay. Uh, Doherty, you know you're being stupid?
Wha? Huh? Huh? Wha?
Kate Moss, please?
Wazit? Whozit? Wazit?
I thought she was clean?
She might be. It's Kate Moss.
I thought she was supposed to translate?
Well, she is. She's translating. Just not into English.
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
Why did you think Kate Moss would be any better than her co-dependent lover?
I don't know!
Wha?
Whazit?
Huh?
Whazit?
Is there a quick way out of this?
Let's see, Pete Doherty, drug addict famous for a co-dependent relationship with a supermodel, and a supermodel who constantly puts her job and family on the line to maintain her co-dependent relationship with a loser who can't even turn up to his own gigs on time if at all.
Sounds simple to us.
Indeed.
<THWACK>
<THWACK>
Are all these catch up missions going to be like this?
I hope not. Now, mush.
You keep saying that we're going to drop you on your head.
Understood, now mush!
<Intro Voice>
I see this going somewhere interesting.
And so Grey is carted off into the sunset, his sidekicks looking increasingly annoyed, sure to be dropped again and again and again!
<End Intro Voice>