<Intro Voice>
Owing to some sort of technical difficulties last week Grey has decided to take things easy.
No, really.
Okay that sounds strange even to me.
But who knows, maybe he'll even manage it.
Or we can just watch what happens in Hollywood . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Are you sure you want to do this?
Yes.
Because there's still time to turn back home.
And do what?
Ice cream.
Tempting but no.
Come on, ice cream. Vast quantities of ice cream.
It's not going to work.
Now I'm scared.
There'll be ice cream, but I feel like I need to do something more.
Great.
So where's that Michael Bay.
That would be him there.
Michael Bay.
No autographs.
No, I'm not here for that.
Then no interviews.
Uh, no.
No pictures.
You can't stop that. People with phone cameras are everywhere.
You're sure no pictures?
Yes.
Damn. In that case no reviewing of film scripts.
We don't have any scripts.
It includes rough drafts.
Nope.
Or movie pitches. Of any kind. I don't care how prepared you are.
Even if we manage to squeeze in nineteen humvees?
Blackbird!
What? I'm just checking.
There is no amount of humvees that makes approaching a director on the street to pitch a movie at random cool.
Well we're not here to pitch a movie. Script, draft, idea or otherwise.
Oh. Uh, good. In that case no dry-cleaning.
Dry-cleaning?
You'd be amazed just how often that sort of thing happens.
This isn't about dry-cleaning.
You're sure. You look like you need it.
My annoyance level is rising.
Improperly laundered clothes will do that every time.
Blackbird you were right. We should have gone for ice cream.
There's still time to pull back.
No there isn't.
I was afraid you'd say that.
So if you guys aren't here for any of the usual reasons why are you here?
You're the guy who directed the new Transformers movie.
No giving me multipage complaints about how I differed from the cartoon, the comic and your own personal little fantasies of including yourself and turning you into the ultimate Transformer and/or Optimus Prime.
You get that?
Not often. But enough.
We're here because of the movie, but not because of any of that.
Now I'm worried.
Michael Bay, you did a good job.
Could you repeat that, I like the sound of it.
Michael Bay, I whole-heartedly believe that the Transformers movie is a worthy addition to entertainment and the Transformers universe. Any complaints I have are personal and should not reflect negatively on you.
I'd record what you've said but I've run out of tape already.
I appreciate what you did. It was good.
That's it?
That's it.
No, I mean is that all?
Uh, elaborate please?
You're just going to congratulate me on Transformers?
Yeah. We really, really enjoyed it.
But what about my other movies.
What about them?
They're good too.
Don't go there. Please, just don't go there.
Yeah, you've done good, don't press your luck.
But what about Bad Boys?
It was okay. It did launch Will Smith's movie career, hit and miss is may be.
Hardly praiseworthy.
Oh come on, it had a sequel.
Sequels aren't always a good idea.
Then what about The Rock and Armageddon?
Decent no brainers.
Not high praise worthy but at least they didn't suck too much.
How about my historical epic Pearl Harbour?
Historical epic?
Yeah, has anyone made a better movie about the surprise Japanese attack?
Yes.
No they haven't.
Well they skipped over the crucial love story.
See.
Oh that is it.
Grey, we were just here to voice our appreciation, not to thwack.
Yeah, but he had to go and think he had talent.
Okay, can we go back to explaining things again, I think I've missed something?
Don't worry, you won't miss this.
<THWACK>
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey's attempt at relaxation fails bitterly as even while trying to compliment someone he winds up thwacking them, sure to do something like this again!
<End Intro Voice>