<Intro Voice>
Owing to some mildly erratic behaviour, coupled with his usual irritability, Grey has been forced by Beige and Blackbird to take some time off.
To that end they are determined that Grey is going to relax.
I don't know how they plan to stave off the apocalypse this event must surely trigger, but then that's half the fun.
And now, somewhere in Hawaii . . .
<End Intro Voice>
Come on Grey, relax a little.
Do you know how many idiots there are in Hawaii?
Very few. We checked.
Okay, then do you know how many idiots holiday in Hawaii?
You do not usually thwack anyone on vacation.
To that end you're not going to thwack anyone on your vacation. Now enjoy a pina colada.
To do otherwise would be hypocrisy.
No it wouldn't.
It would so now relax. Watch all the pretty girls in bikinis.
Look, bah. Say, you don't think I could go up to on of them and try -
Grey, you're here to relax. Relax. Not get turned down by an increasingly impossible array of attractive women.
Which would not relax you in the least.
But you never know, while I'm relaxing may be the only time I find love!
I've seen you trying to find love. Relaxed is never involved.
Simply sit there and enjoy the sun.
Why don't you change out of the costume and into something more comfortable?
I am comfortable.
Perfect ice cream eating gear I guess.
Hey, isn't that Joel Schumacher, one of the worst excuses for a director ever?
Uh, no, not at all. Just some, uh, some guy.
Don't toy with me, that's Schumacher!
If it is then it does not matter. You are here to relax, not to thwack.
But it's Joel Schumacher, the guy who buried the first Batman movie franchise! When will I get another chance to thwack him!
Whenever you next chose to thwack.
He's right here!
He'll still be wandering around and thwackable when your holiday is over.
That's not better!
Grey, calm down, relax.
Or else we will take extreme measures.
Fine, fine, fine. Stupid Schumacher vacationing with impunity. Probably planning to remake every Stanley Kubrick film into his own vision.
Possibly so.
Uh oh.
What?
Never mind.
What?
Nothing.
Blackbird, you're no longer helping with the relaxation. Just tell me what's up.
It's Lindsay Lohan.
Okay.
With an entourage, stumbling around like she's drunk or something.
Okay. New vacation rules. When I've got tension, I unleash it.
No.
That doesn't work.
Nope. Going to have to get up, thwack Lindsay Lohan. And while I'm up I may as well take out Shumaker as well.
Beige.
Extreme measures it is.
Hey, what?
<THUNK>
Okay, what have you just done?
I strapped high explosives to your head.
What?!
When I said prepare for extreme measures I didn't mean bomb Grey!
I have not bombed Grey. I have however planted a high explosives device to his head and will detonate it if he doesn't relax.
So if I get up?
Boom.
I keep talking about thwacking?
Boom.
Okay then. How about a pina colada thing then.
<Intro Voice>
And so Grey is forced to relax, lest his head and what little lies within are splattered like so much hollowed out watermelon, producing some vague hope that he'll one day have some sense talked into him, even if it does require some pretty extreme methods.
Well, not that extreme all things considered.
<End Intro Voice>